Michael's Impact Review

IMPACT WRESTLING ON SPIKE TV

MAY 17, 2012

THE IMPACT ZONE - ORLANDO, FLORIDA

-  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.  -  With the fallout from last Sunday's Sacrifice, we get many questions answered in the opening video.  Then many more asked.  

-  Now inside the Impact Zone, Bobby Roode makes his way out and he is STILL the World Heavyweight Champion.  He has overcome the odds once again and will be throwing a huge bash next week to celebrate being the longest World Champion in TNA history.  He calls it his "It Factor Celebration of Domination".  He calls out Hulk Hogan to hit the ring.  He has a list of demands for his party next week.  Hogan tears up his list because Roode hasn't become anything yet.  He informs him that next week is Open Fight Night.  He says the World Title is going to be defended and invites a few of his "friends" to come out that may wanna partake in becoming the next TNA Champion.  Everyone from Devon to ODB is out there.  He is booking four elimination matches for tonight:  Rob Van Dam vs.  Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson, Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle. and then a Wild Card Battle Royal.  

OPEN FIGHT NIGHT CONTENDER MATCH

1.  Bully Ray vs.  Rob Van Dam

-  Ray stops for a good minute and a half to rip up a sign and toss it in the air at ringside.  RVD works a side headlock and gets shoved back.  Ray pushes him back to the corner and gets dropped.  Rolling Thunder connects but Ray grabs a leg and works it over.  Ray misses a splash and RVD connects on a series of clotheslines.  RVD heads up top and misses a jumping side kick.  Bubba Cutter (not the great ECW one, but a cutter nonetheless) gets the win @ 3:22.  (Good match with back and forth action.  I can get jiggy with that all day.  C.)

-  We will take a look at King Mo later on.  I have no clue who this guy is, but his interview last week on MMA Live reminded me of Floyd Mayweather's mic work.  That or Butters from South Park.

-  Back from commercial and they show THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERVIEW FROM MMA LIVE FROM LAST WEEK!  Fucking shit!

-  Backstage, Gail is pissed and telling Madison how she has to face both Velvet and Brooke tonight.  Madison don't care.  Madison don't give a shit.

OPEN FIGHT NIGHT CONTENDER MATCH

2.  Wild Card Battle Royal

-  Entrants include Austin Aries, Crimson, Robbie E, ROBBIE T, Magnus, AJ Styles, Devon, Eric Young, ODB, Gunner, and Garret Bischoff.  By the time I type that, EY, ODB, and Crimson eliminated.  Magnus gone too.  Madison Rayne comes out to admire someone.  Robbie E eliminates ROBBIE T.  And Devon comes up from behind and tosses Robbie E.  ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK?!?  SERIOUSLY!?  We are back and in the ring are Austin Aries, Devon, Garret Bischoff, AJ Styles, Gunner, and Austin Aries.  Devon charges towards Garret and gets eliminated.  AJ tosses Garret as he celebrates.  AJ and Aries do battle and its a counters in here Gentlemen.  AJ springboards over Aries and Gunner eliminates Aries.  AJ grabs Gunner and wins the Battle Royal @ 10:57.

-  Back on Impact and a blown up AJ Styles has the mic.  He says he has been business partners with Dixie for the last 10 years.  He can understand how things can get all mixed up, but they are both happily married. This brings out Daniels and Kazarian.  Kaz wants to know the truth about the pictures.  AJ swears his innocence.  Daniels breaks out an iPad and we see video of AJ and Dixie in a hotel headed to a room alone.  AJ snatches the iPad away and leaves the ring.  

-  We go back to 2006 when Angle defeated Joe the first time.  Now live backstage, Joe and Angle are chatting.  Angle slaps Joe and they brawl until the locker room breaks it up.  Hardy faces Anderson next.  Speaking of Anderson, he is chewing gum extra loud and breaking down angles of his controversial pinfall of Hardy from Sacrifice.  I change the channel.

OPEN FIGHT NIGHT CONTENDER MATCH

3.  Mr. Anderson vs.  Jeff Hardy

-  Hardy with a waistlock to start and Anderson escapes.  Misses a neck breaker and Hardy drops him.  Hardy with a leg drop between the legs and gets 2.  Hardy kicks Anderson to the outside.  Anderson rolls back in and rolls him up for 2.  Hardy slingshots back in with a dropkick for 2.  Anderson returns with a neckbreaker for 2.  Hardy chop blocks the knee quickly.  Russian Leg Sweep by Hardy.  He grabs the legs and Anderson rolls him up for 2.  Hardy comes back with Whisper in the Wind for 2.  He goes for the Twist of Fate, blocked, Roll Through by Anderson, but Hardy counters with a Crucifix for the win @ 6:10.  (As much as I wanna be biased, a great match.  So much, I'm rating this a B-.)

TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP

4.  Velvet Sky vs.  Brooke Tessmacher vs.  Gail Kim

-  Gail tries to run and Brooke dumps her to the outside.  Couple of near falls between Brooke and Velvet.  Good three way moves (and not that way) including a Boston crab while Velvet has a side headlock.  Gail heads up top and dropkicks both women down.  Velvet hits In Yo Face on Brooke, but Gail dumps her to the floor.  Gail rolls up Brooke with a handful of tights for the win @ 4:40.  (Decent in ring work from all three.  Tried some interesting combinations and a good ending.  Hell a "happy ending" if you will.  

-  A pretty good commercial for the past 10 years of TNA airs.  Impressive.  

MAIN EVENT 

OPEN FIGHT NIGHT CONTENDER MATCH

5.  Samoa Joe vs.  Kurt Angle

-  Angle tries an underhook on Joe and gets dropped.  Joe with a flying knee drop.  Joe wipes his boot on Angle's face.  Joe charges into a belly to belly overhead throw.  Bobby Roode comes out to observe and we'll be right back.  Back on Impact and Angle suplexes Joe over.  Angle rolls on top and chinlocks him.  Oh, and Roode is on commentary if you give a damn.  Joe escapes and Angle jumps off the second rope into an inverted atomic drop.  Joe hits the ropes and boots him in the face.  Joe lifts for a powerbomb and Angle slips out.  Angle with the Rolling Germans.  Joe hits the ropes and Angle lifts and nails the ANGLE SLAM!  Cover gets 2.8!  They trade shots and Joe belts Angle down.  Angle with the Ankle Lock applied. Joe kicks him away.  He puts Angle on the top for the Muscle Buster and Angle headbutts out.  Sunset flip off the top and Angle gets the win @ 12:27.  (Fantastic match.  I like that they hyped this match over the whole show and it delivered in every aspect.  B+.)

FINAL THOUGHTS...

-  Hogan's fucking rambling at the beginning of the show confused me.  I had no idea is we were setting up a five way match or what these guys were competing for.  Apparently Hogan will make the choice of one of these men to face Roode next week.  Other than that, every match was good.  Even the Knockouts match delivered.  Not a bunch of pointless promos backstage, just good wrestling in the ring.  And I am awarding $500 in Monopoly money to Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle for match of the night.  I always enjoy these two, much like my admiration for AJ and Angle matches.  Tommy Hall has you covered for Over the Limit and I'll see you next week.