The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–06.28.12

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 06.28.12

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Taz

AJ Styles and Dixie talk about the big reveal to start, and AJ is still pissed at Daniels & Kazarian. He should be more upset with the agents, I think. And apparently the story MUST CONTINUE tonight. Oh dear.

BFG Series: Mr. Anderson v. Rob Van Dam

The TNA higher-ups have now decided that these matches will have a 15 minute time limit instead of 10, which I approve of. They do a quick pinfall attempt sequence and Anderson gives him a cheapshot instead of a handshake, and pounds him down for two. Suplex gets two, but RVD trips him into a rollup for two, and gets the bridged Indian deathlock. Anderson makes the ropes, which is a shame because he’s one person I’d love to see tap to such a lame move. Rob with an abdominal stretch into a rollup for two, and he holds a bodyscissors on the mat. Anderson escapes and comes back with a back elbow for two. RVD with a northern lights suplex for two. Rolling Thunder gets two. Moonsault hits knee and Anderson gets two. He goes for the Mic Check, but Rob escapes, so Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two. He grabs a sleeper, but Rob gets into the ropes to break and reverses a fireman’s carry into a crucifix pin at 6:00, for 7 points. Pretty action-packed for a 6 minute TV match. **3/4

Austin Aries comes out to formally vacate his X title, and he recaps the storyline thus far, but Bobby Roode interrupts. He accuses Aries of using Hulk Hogan to leapfrog the Bound For Glory Series, and he declares “Option C” to be a FAILURE. They have a disagreement over who the ring belongs to and who should make who leave, but Roode backs off.

Meanwhile, Dixie and the addict talk with Borash, while Daniels and Kazarian argue.

Sonjay Dutt v. Rubix

This is part of a mini-tournament to crown a new X champion. Rubix is a masked guy with puzzle pieces on his tights, which kind of screams “indy”. Weird to see Sonjay again. He sends Rubix to the floor and tries a dive, but Rubix heads back in to cut him off, and then hits his own. Back in, Rubix goes up and gets caught with a dropkick coming down. Dutt with a guillotine and springboard splash for two. Rubix with a bridged german suplex for two. Dutt SPIKES him with a tornado DDT, however, and finishes with a moonsault into a double gut stomp at 3:15. Good GOD that was a sick finish. How do you even do that safely? Crazy action for a short match. ***

Meanwhile, the judges talk about Taeler Hendrix, and mention that she was misdiagnosed with cancer and didn’t actually have the disease. Well that’s a bit misleading then.

BFG Series: Bully Ray v. Samoa Joe

Big stall from Bully to start, and they trade wristlocks, but Bully rakes the eyes to take over. Suplex and headbutt follow and we take a break. Back with Bully cutting off a Joe comeback with a clothesline, but Joe fires back with chops and they clothesline each other. Bully lands on top for two. He goes to work on the arm, wrapping it up in the corner and dropping elbows on it, so Joe bails and tries to pull it back in place again outside. Bully follows, so Joe slugs away on him, but Bully rams the arm into the stairs to cut him off again. Back in, Bully misses a splash and Joe makes the comeback with an atomic drop and big boot, and the senton gets two. Bully catches him with Rock Bottom for two, and goes up for his own senton, but it misses as usual. He bails and suckers Joe into charging him, then catches him with a big boot to lay him out. But now JOSEPH PARK ESQUIRE does a run in and slaps Bully, as he’s getting more confident with his place in our so-called-sport, allowing Joe to catch the shocked Bully with the choke at 13:00. *** So that’s 10 points for Joe. Joseph talks some trash afterwards, and declares that the bullying ends TONIGHT. Or more specifically, two weeks from tonight, if Bully accepts a challenge for a FIGHT.

More with Dixie and the addict, as Dixie talks about how the footage was doctored, but I get the feeling the questions are skeptical that everything is as they are being represented.

Meanwhile, Kazarian pleads his case to Hulk Hogan, claiming that Daniels manipulated him the whole time and he was just a patsy. Hulk has little sympathy.

Meanwhile, Madison tracks down Garrett Bischoff, looking for info on her secret crush. She whispers the secret to him, and he’s amused.

Meanwhile, Gail Kim and Miss Tessmacher get into an argument over DIRECT AUTO INSURANCE.

Rashad Cameron v. Mason Andrews

Those sound like NXT geek names. This is another X tournament match. I like that they’re trying to cycle new people in again, though. Mason gets a quick rollup for two, but Cameron charges and ends up on the floor. Mason follows with a dangerous corkscrew dive that looked like he nearly tripped himself up and killed himself, and back in that gets two. C’mon guys, we don’t need another Jesse Sorenson deal, be safe out there. Cameron comes back with a dropkick and suplexes Mason onto the top rope, but a moonsault misses. Andrews with a knee that shows a lot of light, and a springboard bodyblock gets two. Cameron comes back with a dropkick to put him on the floor, and he gets his own flip dive to follow. Back in, that gets two. He goes up, but Andrews snaps him down with a rana for two. Cameron dropkicks him into the corner and follows with a DDT for the pin at 4:03. Felt like I was watching a dark tryout match before RAW. Really sloppy, but you have to attribute that to nerves, I think. **

Next week: James Storm v. Jeff Hardy!

Gut Check Decision: The midget votes “Yes”, Leif Cassidy votes “No” to build drama, but then Joey Ryan shows up in the front row and Taz gets all distracted and security has to break things up. Taeler cuts a blah last-chance promo, and Brother Love votes “yes” to give her the contract. She’s no worse than, say, Velvet Sky. She’ll do fine.

TNA World tag titles: AJ Styles & Kurt Angle v. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian

The champs work Kazarian over in the corner, so Kaz gives Daniels an angry tag. Daniels pounds on Angle and springboards in with an elbow, and Kazarian gets two. They do some angry tagging, and Angle fires back with a suplex to put Daniels on the floor, setting up AJ for a rana off the apron. AJ tosses him into the railing, and heels do some more arguing about their situation, and we take a break. Back with Daniels holding a chinlock, and the STO gets two. Moonsault hits knee, but AJ gets the tag to Angle, so Daniels tags out to Kazarian against his will. Angle throws Kaz around with suplexes, including the rolling germans, and then he does the same to Daniels. Angle Slam for Kazarian, but he reverses into a TKO for two. Angle rolls into the anklelock, but Kazarian kicks out of it, only for AJ to springboard in with a clothesline on him. AJ runs wild on Daniels and they collide, but Daniels comes back with a powerbomb. Ref is bumped and everyone ends up on the floor, so Daniels grabs a chair…and Kazarian stops him. AJ hits Daniels with the Pele Kick as Kazarian walks out on his partner…and then WAFFLES AJ with the chair! Oh, they got me, I’ll give them that! Daniels regains the tag titles at 12:00. KUDOS! Now that was a well-done swerve. Not really the same quality as the PPV because of all the storyline stuff, but it was still fun. ***1/4 Daniels announces afterwards that the crack baby daddy is AJ STYLES. OK, now we’re getting somewhere.

The Pulse:

WAY better than last week’s aberration. Three solid matches and a sloppy but exciting X-division match make for a terrific week of entertainment, plus the ridiculous AJ-Dixie storyline is hopefully getting back on track again. I’m glad my patience paid off again. However, no chance of them getting my money the day after Silva-Sonnen, sorry.