Not really much to talk about from last week's show. It was pretty fucking awful and has completely soured me on RAW until after the Survivor Series. Really the WWE has two seasons...The day after Survivor Series until the RAW after Wrestlemania and everything else. If we're lucky we'll get a good Extreme Rules card (like this year) and a good angle to carry us through Summerslam.
Not much else to talk about other than the season debut of Beyond Scared Straight was terrific. I feel bad laughing hysterically as these brutal prisoners scare the shit out of teenagers and threaten them with rape but you know what...fuck those kids.
Anyhoo, enjoy the show, keep it clean, etc. etc.
Not much else to talk about other than the season debut of Beyond Scared Straight was terrific. I feel bad laughing hysterically as these brutal prisoners scare the shit out of teenagers and threaten them with rape but you know what...fuck those kids.
Anyhoo, enjoy the show, keep it clean, etc. etc.
FYI the Blog of DOOM~! fantasy football draft is going on RIGHT NOW.
ReplyDeleteApparently, they are setting up a Lesnar vs. Triple H rematch at Hell in the Cell. I don't want to see that match again, but if it MUST happen, I'll be happy if it happens in a hiac.
ReplyDeleteCheap plug: http://t.co/GpLmPjMS
apparently chyna and triple h are facing off
ReplyDeletehttp://www.lordsofpain.net/news/wwe/Official_Press_Release_on_Chyna_s_Adult_Wrestling_Parody_-_Several_WWE_Stars_Mocked.html
haha dig the supporting cast
I have to miss the beginning but I bet AJ punishes a heel with a match.
ReplyDeleteI hope we get a 20 minute main event opening Triple H promo, just like the good old days!
ReplyDeleteIsn't there anybody else on the roster willing to job to Lesnar??
ReplyDeleteHow many times will CM Punk use the word 'respect' tonight?
ReplyDeleteLawler! Who says WWE can make new stars?
ReplyDeleteBig pop for the Punk!
ReplyDeleteHopefully there aren't any other family members that will die on Lawler this time around.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed on AJ punishing a heel who accidentally uses the word "crazy" around her by putting him in a match.
ReplyDeleteSomebody got a haircut....
ReplyDeleteCan't the King just say he's pissed off at Punk because he's worried that Punk has crossed over to the dark side and that for the sake of his fans, he needs to get his shit together and just beat Cena already?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Punk's gotten a haircut again. Sadly the crappy facial hair remains....
CM Punk is so much fun when he just tells it like it is.
ReplyDeleteHating on Lawler is always a way to get me on your side.
ReplyDeleteI know this is like saying "the sky is blue", or "the Pope is Catholic"...but CM Punk really is really, really fucking good.
ReplyDeleteAfter this promo from Punk, they could probably sell a Punk/Lawler main event at NOC.
ReplyDeleteDoes anybody wanna re-watch the Miz/Lawler promos from last year to see if they're at all similar to this one? Because they seem pretty similar.
ReplyDeleteThis is just as thrilling as the time the Miz decided to pick a fight with old man Lawler.
ReplyDeleteGood to have the real Punk back!
ReplyDelete"Hey, Punk! *dramatic pause* I'll think about it!"
ReplyDelete*crowd groans*
Punk could sell a feud with pretty much anybody, so this was pretty good, but he deserves better.
ReplyDeleteI had a random thought last night, I could get behind a Punk/Shane McMahon match. I'd imagine we won't see Shane in the ring again but he would sell everything Punk did huge and Punk is always fun in hardcore type environments.
"Regurgitate any opinion that gets barked into your ear" was a great line.
ReplyDeleteWho said anything about Lesnar jobbing? I don't know, actually. I thought HHH would put Lesnar over the first time. I kind of do for the upcoming match, but it's a coin-flip.
ReplyDelete"Momentum" count: 1
ReplyDeleteJesus, that oaf Ryback almost killed Swagger with a backdrop.
ReplyDeleteGeez Ryback almost just killed Swagger there.
ReplyDeleteRyback should be fired for that. Almost killed Swagger.
ReplyDeleteHow's HHH going to even goad him in for a rematch? Brock no-sold HHH's move and got him to tap in the middle, so it's not like he got screwed and needs to get revenge.
ReplyDeleteTo those who wonder why I consider Swagger terrible - look at that back drop.
ReplyDeleteIndeed and my team is stacked!
ReplyDeleteuntil u get to the WRs
A career match?
ReplyDeleteTime to bring back Daddy Swagger, and the Soaring Eagle?!
ReplyDeleteSwagger's fault there. He's meant to push forward and flip on Ryback's back. He didn't and made Ryback look awful.
ReplyDeleteI've never been in the ring but if I'm understanding the mechanics of a backdrop right the onus is more upon Swagger to tuck himself inward to get the full flip in than for Ryback to throw him over. Maybe I'm wrong, if any of the ex-wrestlers around here don't mind breaking kayfabe I'd love some clarity.
ReplyDeleteReally? Looked like Ryback's fault. But I didn't really see it. I was distracted and then looked up and thought Swagger was going to break his neck.
ReplyDeleteGot high and Five Guys, and missed the opening. Apparently missed some of Punk's best in a while? Awesome, there's so much more to look forward to tonight.
ReplyDelete"Apologize to Melo 5". LOL
ReplyDeleteThey should've never dropped that Eagle gimmick, that was the kind of goofy thing that made him stand out.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I saw Ryback actually helped him out by catching him before he dived head first. Swagger didn't even have his head tucked.
ReplyDeleteIt appeared to be Ryback did flip him over properly, but I didn't see how the move started. I was distracted.
ReplyDelete"This match needs to be over very quickly."
ReplyDeleteWho loves shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments? Scott does.
...why is layla dancing?
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't a backdrop...Ryback was busting out his new snap inverted Vertebreaker.
ReplyDeleteBotchamania Moment!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the current Pope is a closet Protestant.
ReplyDeleteHolding out hope that this Punk/Lawler thing leads to them dumping King from the booth. It's been a long time since he was any good in that role. I bet he could still cut a pretty good heel promo though, becoming a manager is probably a better role for him.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised Layla hasn't quit yet. She'll never get her LayCool momentum back again.
ReplyDeleteThe same way he goaded him into the last match. Stephanie has Heyman wrapped around her finger.
ReplyDelete"I think Vickie's actually yawning over there."
ReplyDelete"She's not the only one."
I hate to say it, but I laughed uproariously. Especially Cole's quiet delivery of the line.
What's going on?
ReplyDeleteFucking hell. AJ.
ReplyDeleteAh! AJ! Just in time for some skippin'!
ReplyDeleteSubtle Cole is funny.
ReplyDeleteThere is a chance that Swagger was counting on Ryback giving him the big high angle backdrop and Ryback just didn't get him up far enough.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is just another homage to bret?
ReplyDeleteI'll call it early, they think AJ is failing as GM so this Vickie storyline will strip her of her duties.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! First interesting thing AJ's done.
ReplyDeleteI'd choose Five Guys over Raw anytime.
ReplyDeleteFantastic. A Triple H retrospective, even though he isn't retiring. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! HHH retrospective to build an angle where HHH goes over!! This is soooo awesome
ReplyDeleteSo what happened with Vickie and AJ? Is it something I would only understand if I had been watching Raw and Smackdown since last November?>
ReplyDeleteWhen HHH isn't around, everyone should be asking 'Where's Hunter??'
ReplyDeleteI wrote a poem about my last pick:
ReplyDelete"Pick a kicker
MOTHER FUCKER.
Cause I'm taking
JUSTIN TUCKER!"
For anyone who cares Tom Brady went #1 overall in the BoD fantasy football draft, jags defense went last at like 256 i believe. And I made both picks
ReplyDeleteI applaud the uptick in Poochie references these last few weeks on the blog.
ReplyDeleteI have two comments about this HHH career retrospective bullshit, please LIKE whichever one is better.
ReplyDelete"I love these HHH retrospectives where the show just basically blows HHH for three hours. The fact he's fucking the boss's daughter has nothing to do with it, no."
I have two comments about this HHH career retrospective bullshit, please LIKE whichever one is better.
ReplyDelete"These clips of HHH from 1998 are awesome because they remind me of when the show didn't suck dick."
BTW, is anyone surprised that they're doing a meaningless rematch? WWE doesn't see Punk, Bryan, Sheamus or Del Rio as viable enough to use up one of Brock's dates on. To them, it's Cena, Triple H or Rock.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, this time around we might get a bunch of footage from Lawler's career shown to illustrate that he actually WAS a bad ass back in the day to add tension to the feud as far as the WWE letting Punk acknowledge Lawler's past in ways Miz was not allowed to evoke....
ReplyDeleteShe may never quit. I love looking at that dumper too damn much.
ReplyDelete"We need to fill three hours of Raw. What will we do?"
ReplyDelete"Skits! Skits! Lots of skits!"
- Said no wrestling fan ever.
This is awful. Thankfully Daniel Bryan is awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd SOMEBODY STOLE GREG OLSEN FROM ME!!!!!!! YA BASTERDDS!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThey should've introduced Ambrose as the psychiatrist. Just straight rip off Wolverine's villain Dr. Rot. Ambrose as a patient who's taken over the asylum.
ReplyDeleteThe crowd has no idea who any of those guys are.
ReplyDeleteBill Dundee and Dutch Mantell? I wouldn't be bragging about beating them.
ReplyDeletethat guy is from a lost. that was a show that was popular once. sure it wasn't the longest running episodic television show in history (or something).
ReplyDeleteYay! Lawler's going to get carried to a * match by the best in the world. I'm so glad I tuned in tonight.
Those names Lawler rattled off... that crowd knows one as a commentator, one as a manager, one as a jobber in WCW and one as Steve Regal's butler. GREAT FUCKING LIST.
You couldn't have said... Randy Savage, Sid, Kamala?
King is dying a slow death. No gives a shit about memphis anymore jerry and its your guy's fault so there
ReplyDeleteI can't wait until Kane shows up to these Anger Management classes.
ReplyDeleteYes, the best thing about the first hour of raw was a FUCKING COMMERCIAL.
ReplyDeleteBut it's the commercial where hot chicks are shoving pulled pork sandwhiches in each others' faces. DOES THAT MAKE ME A FOODIE?
I'd choose getting high over Raw anytime.
ReplyDeleteWhy? Bill Dundee was like Elvis in Memphis in the 80s.
ReplyDeleteBut if somebody stands out, they might get over. And if they get too over, they may TRANSCEND THE POPULARITY OF THE WWE AND LEAVE VINCE FOR ACTING OR SOMETHING. THAT CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN!
ReplyDeleteI love how one of the main selling points of Saturday Morning Slam is a look at all the Be A Star, Make a Wish stuff. Because that's exactly what kids want to see. This show isn't marketed to kids, it's marketed to the parents.
ReplyDeleteJEBUS, all of this who fucked up the backdrop stuff is almost making me want to go back to see what happened.
ReplyDeleteHunter died while flying back to Planet Funk.
ReplyDeleteNo one is "like Elvis" in Memphis besides Elvis. That's like going to Jerusalem and saying someone is "like Jesus". Dundee was an irrelevant small time talent.
ReplyDeleteWhat wonderful stories will they tell us tonight?
ReplyDeleteMaybe the time will come when Daniel Bryan needs to see a dentist for some Molar Management.
ReplyDeleteThe story of John Cena squashing a guy he lost to at WrestleMania 17 months ago.
ReplyDeleteJust switched back to Raw - fucksake, is Cole alone on commentary right now? Back to the baseball then...
ReplyDeleteI would like to see Vicki just strip AJ.
ReplyDeleteOr AJ strip AJ.
Or all the Divas strip each other.
STRIPPING!
Also, voters in Connecticut.
ReplyDeleteThey can do a tie-in with HGTV and have him doing some Space Management:
ReplyDelete"Do you like this lazy susan under the kitchen counter?"
"No! No! No!"
Accept if you are a stupid mark, Bill Dundee was Steve Regal's butler and Dutch Mantell was a WCW jobber -- or Uncle Zebekiah.
ReplyDelete"Ooohh, so Lawler beat a butler and Uncle Zebekiah? Why are they giving this away for free????"
On the other hand, he could have said, "Randy Savage, Rick Rude and Sid Vicious" and that sounds a lot better.
If Cena had any respect for the WWE title he'd have easily come out & said Punk was the Best in the World, because that's what holding that title means. If Cena wanted to be the Best in the World he can prove it by winning the title, not by saying it doesn't matter.
ReplyDeleteRaw would be 1000x better if the commentary team were Josh Matthews, Road Dogg, and Puppet H.
ReplyDeleteCole babbling on about who is a bigger movie star. Always a good argument to have during a sports entertainment bout.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like one hell of a story. That's the kind of stuff the longest running weekly episodic show in history is made of.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Like you pointed out, nobody knows the guys he mentioned. But Bill Dundee in Memphis was both a huge babyface and heel. And Memphis wasn't no whole in the wall either. It was the third biggest territory ever.
ReplyDeleteThe first hour has been brutal.
ReplyDeleteThis is 100x times better than their Wrestlemania 27 match.
ReplyDeleteIt is when the winner is determined by the one with the highest Q rating.
ReplyDeleteOh, look, he hulked up.
ReplyDeleteRemember all those times Hulk Hogan beat the IC champion and made that title look worthless?
ReplyDeleteJust wait until Miz is on the Real World 30 reunion show.
ReplyDeleteWell yeah, *WE* know who they are. But the fans in the arena didn't, and I doubt most of the fans outside of Memphis/Louisville/Nashville did either.
ReplyDeleteDidn't the Five Knuckle Shuffle used to come after the Attitude Adjustment? The current order which requires the opponent to stand up makes no sense. Why would any opponent who's ever seen Cena wrestle before stand up after that move instead of roll out?
ReplyDeleteHulk Cena with a further BURIAL of the IC Title and Miz.
ReplyDeleteThings are getting serious now! Raw just got RAWactive!
ReplyDeleteIs there a steel cage hanging above the ring. If not, EVERYONE TWEET FOR STEEL CAGE and see what happens!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised they didn't spring for "Beautiful Day" for tonight.
ReplyDeletepleasedontpickcagematch...plesedontpickcagematch...pleasedontpickcagematch
ReplyDeleteWWE drops the ball on that. The IC title holder and WWE title holder could main event a PPV. Instead, they give it for free on Raw with no build.
ReplyDeleteDepends on what you consider a "territory", it was certainly behind WWF, Crockett, and AWA. Dundee never really made waves anywhere else, either.
ReplyDeleteStories.
ReplyDeleteOlsen is doing nothing this year.
ReplyDeleteIm shitty somebody i think auto drafted Aaron Rodgers.
No, whenever Hulk faced the IC champion it usually ended in a DQ so that the IC champion is protected.
ReplyDeleteOMG I think I saw Benoit in that commercial taking that Diamond Cutter.
ReplyDeleteWhat a stupid DVD. They need to cut it out with the themes for a while and just call them "Best of the WWE Volume whatever" and fill three discs with a bunch of awesome matches.
Wait what? Proketct the title? what does that mean?
ReplyDeleteYou mean the IC champion didn't always do pointless jobs every week? Next you'll tell me the TAG TITLES used to have meaningful angles behind them.
DomsWildThings: "C'mon John Cena you were The Marine! But wait, Miz is The Marine 2! This is confusing!"
ReplyDeleteCMPunk: "Not as confusing as LOST, pal!"
Bwahahaha!
I dont tweet, I TOUT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThey can reference each other's Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic scores! Then they can have Michael Bay and Joel Schumacher do an appearance and cast the winner in one of their shitty movies!
ReplyDeleteReal Talk: One way to make the champions seem more important is for them not to wrestle every week. And when they do wrestle, it should be built up. And not jobbing them ALL THE TIME would also help.
ReplyDeleteJust saw the big tag match with the world champion and he's three contenders. Does anyone else smell a fatal four way at Night of Champions that will equal no buys?
ReplyDeleteDo they even have a cage on hand to use?
ReplyDeleteInteresting that an anger management session meets in a Holiday Inn conference room.
ReplyDeleteThose broads in the anger management class are hot.
ReplyDeleteYou know what would have been funnier than Kane showing up?
ReplyDeleteIssac Yankem, DDS showing up.
These segments would bug me more if I didn't know that they endear him to Vince and make it more likely that he'll continue to get pushed. As much as it isn't what we want to see him doing, it's a necessary evil if Vince & Co. have faith that he can pull that kind of thing off.
ReplyDeleteStop this crazy talk now.
ReplyDeletewait... did that happen?
ReplyDeleteSantino Marella vs Heath Slater!
ReplyDeleteSMELL THOSE RATINGS!!
Poetry just isn't the same without being taken into a closet and forced to listen.
ReplyDeleteEh, it's a slow burial. But its a burial.
ReplyDeleteIf I were a WWE writer, I'd have this ending with both in tears hugging eachother in mutual understanding. They would win the tag titles and hold it for a year, talking about their feelings in weekly backstage segments.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I'm not a WWE writer.
Has the "Brock Lesnar guy" become the new "Sign Guy"?
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else think that Daniel Bryan might in fact be cursed by his ability to make anything awesome? They will just keep sticking him in stupid angles, instead of giving him the 8 year title reign he deserves...
ReplyDeleteSlater's tits are Flair-esque. When the TNA lawsuit blows over, they've got to get Flair as Slater's manager for just that reason.
ReplyDeleteBehind World Class too, I'd say. Possibly behind Mid-South/UWF.
ReplyDelete"3rd biggest territory ever?" What are you smoking?
ReplyDeleteWhat I see happening is they try to push Bryan, and Vince says, "those skits made him look like a geek! Let's push Ryback instead!"
ReplyDelete"Boring" chants. And I agree.
ReplyDeleteQuick question: Who is Oksana?
ReplyDeleteI'd only maybe play devil's advocate for Memphis in that they stayed alive longer than those two.
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Slater. Now you are a bigger joke than Santino.
ReplyDeleteI just got here. What the hell is the fuckery pon mi screen? Santino's snake has a mind of it's own around Askana? That will hold up well in court...
ReplyDeleteA Bryan/Kane tag team could be pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for Suits to return in January so I can continue to not watch it.
ReplyDeleteMadness!
ReplyDeleteWould willingly have various bodily parts rubbed with a cheese grater by an aggressive Samoan...for ten seconds with Aksana. Holy mother of God.
ReplyDeleteRaw has been a lot more stupid than usual this evening.
ReplyDeleteIf it came with a quality assurance guarantee, how much money would they lose?
And a NATZEE!
ReplyDelete..so much for THAT winning streak.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know how these twitter polls work? Like, all I have to do is tweet with #WWEcage right? Like I could tweet "I wanna see AJ and Nattie strip each other down in the #WWEcage" and that would count?
ReplyDeleteVince, consequences are drama. Without consequences, there is no drama, and without drama, there is no story per se. Just a non-sequiter series of events. So when Aksana distracts the cobra, Slater has to win--ah, fuck it!
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing on Raw tonight has been Josh Mathews thumb ring.
ReplyDeleteI think we should all chip in for Vince to attend a Robert McKee writing seminar.
ReplyDeleteCameron and Naomi are here, and my shorts are a little tighter because of it.
ReplyDeleteHe's beaten Ric Flair and Hogan too I think.
ReplyDeletehey hey, there's a lot more stupid yet to come.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, Suits is good. It's no Burn Notice, but's it's pretty good.
ReplyDeleteFootball just hasn't been the same for me since Doug Flutie retired. 8 )
ReplyDeleteHHH used to wear Poochie's leather jacket!!
ReplyDeleteI can't find her hot. She was in one of those stupid Natalya farting segments a while ago and I can't get the mental image of Aksana farting in one of her leather bodysuits out of my head.
ReplyDeleteMan I was just thinking how perfect it would be for Sandow and Cody to team. They should keep that going for a while, just to keep them busy.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to Cody's push. Is it back on again?
ReplyDeleteI miss heel Lawler.
ReplyDeleteI just wanna say to the BoD, these Live Raw thread jokes suck.
ReplyDeleteBut its not your fault.
You really have nothing to work with.
I guess it depends on what you mean by "bigger". Memphis survived for a long time in various forms, so props for that. But WCCW at it's peak was bigger than Memphis ever was.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I wasn't watching during that period so I can enjoy Aksana to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteWhat!? You say I'm smoking something and then you use words like I"'d say" and "possibly"? You contradicted yourself and said you could possibly put it number 4, which one off from where I put it. Plus, Memphis survived longer than them. Therefore, I would put it above them. I'm not going to name off a bunch of facts about Memphis, but read some of Meltzer's newsletters - and you'll learn how big Memphis truly was.
ReplyDeleteI know my snake has a mind of it's own around Askana.
ReplyDeleteBa-ding bum! I'll be here all weak, try the pepper steak!
Fucking right. I don't know about Flair, but definitely Hogan. Why the fuck wouldn't you lead with that?
ReplyDeleteI still think that a Cody/Miz tag team would be great. They can get heat Instantly.
ReplyDeleteSin Cara means "without talent"
ReplyDeleteI wish #WWERetirement was an option.
ReplyDeleteI like Sandow, but what's he going to do about his look in two months when that balding can't be hidden?
ReplyDeleteIn terms of longevitiy, they were in the game a lot longer than anyone else, and for a good part of the 90s they were probably tied for #3 with ECW until ECW got on ppv.
ReplyDeleteI'd say when AWA went to shit in 89 until late 94/early 95, you could make a strong argument they were #3, but mostly that arugment would be "who else is there?"
They should change his name to Sin Cara Calor: "Without Face Heat".
ReplyDeleteKatie Vick reference!
ReplyDeleteWow...I turn on Raw and I'm watching anger management classes? What does the second W in WWE stand for again?
ReplyDeleteLOL at Kane.
ReplyDeleteALRIGHT! KANE CHARACTER HISTORY! PROMO OF THE YEAR!
ReplyDeleteThis might be my favorite segment ever.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry...this anger management shit is funny...
ReplyDeleteOkay, Kane laying all that shit out like that was pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteKane was the best thing on this show tonight
ReplyDelete"For reasons never quite explained."
ReplyDeleteI love you, Kane!
Kane dissecting his whole career was pretty funny, actually.
ReplyDeleteThat was kinda funny.
ReplyDelete...well played.
ReplyDeleteWell this was the best segment ever. I have absolutely no reason to watch the rest of the show.
ReplyDeleteKane just totally owned that segment.
ReplyDeleteKatie Vick reference FTW!
The Pete Rose line was awesome.
I was waiting for the Snitsky/baby reference, but I can understand why they'd forgo that.
I loved that line.
ReplyDeleteA+ glen jacobs your the fn man
ReplyDelete"We have three hours of Raw to fill! What should we do?"
ReplyDelete"How about eight blowjob segments about how awesome HHH is?"
- said no wresting fan ever.
Does anyone know if Harold is Scorpio Sky? It looks just like him.
ReplyDeleteWonder how many times they had to loop that audio over to make a realistic Triple H chant.
ReplyDelete