This week’s ROH TV features S.C.U.M. defending the tag
titles against BJ Whitmer and Rhett Titus.
First off, an apology to anyone that was offended by my
rather classless comments about the women in last week’s match. I’m here to
talk about the matches, not whether or not I think the girls in them are hot.
That being said, I still maintain that the match stunk and was a waste of time, and the totally dead crowd seemed to agree with me.
We open with Nigel McGuiness bringing out Wrestling’s Greatest
Tag Team. Pretty funny bit to start it off, as Benjamin congratulates McGuiness
on being named the new matchmaker and shakes his hand, but Haas blows it off so
McGuiness responds with the universal jerking-off hand gesture (Wanker!), which
is blurred by the camera. WGTT wants to know why Titus & Whitmer are
getting the tag title shot tonight when WGTT beat them at the PPV last month.
McGuiness tells them that it’s because Whitmer & Titus beat them on TV a
few weeks ago. Haas: “That doesn’t count!” I have to agree, a more recent win
on a PPV should carry more weight than a win in an impromptu TV match.
McGuiness says that if WGTT wants a title shot they have to beat Caprice
Coleman and Cedric Alexander RIGHT NOW!
Charlie Haas &
Shelton Benjamin vs. Caprice Coleman and Cedric Alexander: Haas throws the
(again blurred) double-bird during the Code of Honor. Kevin Kelly is left to do
commentary by himself for the evening, and is clearly not used to
flying solo. It comes off pretty poorly, as he’s kind of talking to someone
that isn’t there. Benjamin starts off with Alexander and they lock up and fight
over a headlock and a wristlock. Shelton gets the better of that and dumps
Alexander and Haas pounds him on floor for a bit before sending him back in.
Benjamin dumps him again, Hass sends him back in and Benjamin gets a scoop slam
for 2. Alexander gets dumped AGAIN, but this time he nails Hass and scores with
a missile dropkick on Benjamin to make the tag. Drop-toehold/legdrop combo gets
2 for the faces, and a top rope clothesline gets another 2 count for Coleman.
Benjamin tags in Hass and Coleman gets beat on in the heel corner, but comes
back with a standing leg lariat for 2. We play “face tries to come in and
distracts the ref while his partner gets beat on by the heels behind the ref’s
back” for a bit, and Haas hits an exploder suplex for 2. Rhett Titus (looking
like a smaller Kevin Nash while in street clothes) and BJ Whitmer join us for
commentary as we go to commercial.
Back from break as Benjamin hits a Bossman slam on Coleman
and grabs a headlock. Coleman gets free and hits a crossbody for 2, but
Benjamin takes over again with a knee and tags in Haas. Double-team backbreaker
for 2, and once again Alexander is stopped by the ref from getting in while
Hass chokes Coleman behind his back. Hass beats on Coleman for a while, but
Coleman reverses a scoop slam into an armdrag and both guys tag out. Alexander
throws forearms on Benjamin and hits an ugly enziguri, then hits a much better
one off the second rope for 2. He knocks Haas of the apron and the faces hit
the obligatory fucked up Total Elimination for 2. You’d think they’d be getting
better at it, but I swear it looks worse every time they do it. Christ, find a
new move! Hass makes the save and both he and Alexander go over the top, right
in front of the commentators. Coleman tries the triple Northern Lights, but
Benjamin gets a HUGE powerbomb and both guys are down. Outside, Hass bitch-slaps
Whitmer and a big brawl breaks out (with Kelly screaming MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!
like he’s taking a rough shit or something), as back in the ring Benjamin gets
a superplex on Coleman, but as soon as he hits the mat he’s nailed with an
Alexander frog splash to finish it at 10:50. Pretty cool ending right there.
***, wee bit sloppy from the face side but still a really fun match, can’t go
wrong with these guys. Give them a decent amount of time and they could hit
****+ easily.
Ryan McBride vs.
Bobby Fish: Fish is an indy journeyman; having done time in ROH, Evolve,
IWA-MS, NOAH in Japan, and various Northeast promotions, including my hometown
promotion, Empire State Wrestling. McBride is a former Shane Shamrock Memorial Cup
winner in MCW (Maryland Championship Wrestling, one of the better double-A
level indies out there), which speaks well of him, and a CZW vet, which doesn’t.
Not that it matters, as he is absolutely squashed here. Fish tosses him out,
hits a dive to the floor, and back in the child-killer flying headbutt gets 2.
McBride reverses an Irish whip and gets a couple shots in the corner and hits a
vertical suplex for 2. That’s the extent of his offense, as he spends too much
time going up top and misses a frog plash, and Fish ends it with a crescent
kick at 2:19. This only served to let fans know who Fish is when he appears in
the next segment, so I won’t bother to rate it.
Davey Richards/Kyle O’Reilly segment: O’Reilly is sick of
playing second banana to Richards, Richards feels that O’Reilly is a little
bitch and doesn’t appreciate what he’s done for him, including introducing him
to his wife. O’Reilly asks for forgiveness, Richards accepts and they hug it
out. Of course, O’Reilly turns on him and hits some horrible looking punches,
but Richards quickly gets the anklelock. The stooges and Bobby Fish come out to
break it up, but Fish blasts Richards with a kick to the face and locks in the
Crippler crossface while O’Reilly gets in Richards’ face and talks shit. Given
the lack of mic skills from the people involved you’d think this whole thing would
suck, but it actually came off really well outside of the bad punching.
Inside ROH: More
PPV hype. As expected, Michael Elgin vs. Roderick Strong is announced for Final
Battle, Truth Martini tells us in an atrocious promo that he won’t let it
happen. The Briscoes, Adam Cole, and Jay Lethal get airtime as well. Speaking
of Cole, it’s announced that the Cole/Matt Hardy match is non-title. That's assuming
Hardy makes it to the PPV, as he was injured with what was reported to be a
pretty severe concussion at the Extreme Rising iPPV last weekend.
ROH Tag Team Title:
Rhett Titus & BJ Whitmer vs. Steve Corino & Jimmy Jacobs: Titus and
Whitmer jump S.C.U.M. from behind and everyone brawls for a while. That all
gets sorted out and Corino gets a Russian legsweep on Titus and tags in Jacobs,
S.C.U.M. takes over with quick tags and lots of the usual heelish tactics.
Jacobs misses and blind charge and Titus gets the tag, spinebuster from
Whitmer gets 2. Double Northern lights gets 2, but a Rock Bottom attempt is
reversed into a roll-up. Spear from Jacobs gets 2, Titus kind of rolls out of a
reverse rana and hits clothesline with the 360 sell by Jacobs. Both guys tag
out, a forearm battle between Corino and Whitmer ends with a Whitmer
clothesline for 2. Tilt-a-whirl on Corino, Jacobs makes the save, the faces try
the “whip the opponents into each other” spot but Corino reverses his end and
Jacobs hits another spear on Titus. Whitmer tries to suplex Jacobs to the
floor, but the momentum takes both guys out and here’s WGTT to spike Whitmer on
the barricade. Titus is left on his own, and the champs retain on a suplex by Corino at 8:00. I think we could all see that interference coming
after what happened in the opener. **, I have nothing further to add on this
one. Benjamin and Hass beat Titus down to end the show.
Much better show than last week, with every segment building
up some sort of angle, and no terrible in-ring work. Next week: The Briscoes
vs. The Headbangers and a rematch of the Michael Elgin/Davey Richards match
from WrestleMania weekend.