Back again, with another question of the day...
Most embarrassing moment, or the most embarrassed you've ever been to be a wrestling fan.
For me, it dates back to around 2001. I had a friend who was equally into wrestling as I was. I had another friend who thought pro-wrestling was a bit of a joke, and would give us shit for it. So, one day I'm at my friend's house and we decide to watch Beyond the Mat. Well, the friend who would give us shit comes over, and what part does he happen to walk in during? While Dennis Fucking Stamp is in the middle of his workout, in case he's booked again. My friend started laughing harder than I'd ever heard him laugh before. He then accused me and my friend of watching Gay Alcoholic Step-Dad Trampoline Porn every day for at least 6 months.
I hate Dennis Stamp.
Most embarrassing moment, or the most embarrassed you've ever been to be a wrestling fan.
For me, it dates back to around 2001. I had a friend who was equally into wrestling as I was. I had another friend who thought pro-wrestling was a bit of a joke, and would give us shit for it. So, one day I'm at my friend's house and we decide to watch Beyond the Mat. Well, the friend who would give us shit comes over, and what part does he happen to walk in during? While Dennis Fucking Stamp is in the middle of his workout, in case he's booked again. My friend started laughing harder than I'd ever heard him laugh before. He then accused me and my friend of watching Gay Alcoholic Step-Dad Trampoline Porn every day for at least 6 months.
I hate Dennis Stamp.
Yeah the trampoline part was strange. For me it was in college 99-2000 or so when Rikishi was giving everyone stinkfaces. As you may recall this somehow led to Pat Patterson giving stinkfaces with his skid mark underwear, (poop stain Patterson anyone?) Anyway my college roommate walks in just as this is going on. I just mumbled something to the degree of "yeah this stuff is pretty stupid sometimes"
ReplyDeleteEvery time I read a Jesse baker, mar solo, dynamic Dave or comdukakis post. Serious douchechills.
ReplyDeleteAlong those lines what about when some fan you tubes himself flipping out after his favorite wrestler loses?
ReplyDeleteI think I've been embarrassed to be a wrestling fan the entire time, save for 1998-2000 when it hit pop culture. I don't tell anyone I'm a fan.
ReplyDeleteThat fat guy who broke the rock DVD was flipping out last week about Bray Wyatt wearing a faceguard and leather apron. It was so sad.
ReplyDeleteOh, man. I completely forgot about all that. The fact that adults came up with that and said "this is hilarious! It's a go!".
ReplyDeleteFat guy who broke a Rock DVD? Do tell...
ReplyDeleteI always wonder about those. I mean, why would they be filming themselves watching a wrestling match? They're obviously all faked. Unless someone else decided to film them because they have a history of these actions or something.
ReplyDeleteSome super-smark in his Paul heyman guy t-shirt got very upset when punk lost the title, threw down his championship belt and broke a rock DVD in anger. It was linked on nopantsprovided a while back.
ReplyDeleteWhen the Yeti and the Giant double dry humped Hulk Hogan at Halloween Havoc.
ReplyDeleteThis wasnt infront of anyone, but back in the day one of these websites got an early report from a pirated feed that they were doing the Katie Vick angle. I guess they taped it beforehand and sent it via satellite somewhere and someone got a hold of it? Anyway it detailed that HHH was going to do the whole casket sex/screwed your brains out deal. That was a little much..I was actually embarrassed and didn't watch the segment.
ReplyDeleteThe only people who know I still watch wrestling are people who've lived with me and friends who used to watch wrestling back when we were teenagers. It's just not something you can really boast about watching. A few years ago I was working at a place that distributed all the WWE DVDs and whilst this meant I got a whole lot of freebies, it also meant I got to hear daily mockery of the products (which I agree with - I enjoy aspects of wrestling but I'd never defend it) which just re-enforced that wrestling is best kept, for me, as a hobby that I enjoy on my lonesome and discuss with like-minded people on sites like this. It's not worth the hassle of explaining that you willingly sit through some of the stuff the WWE and TNA put to air just to get to the Punk, Aries or Jericho matches/promos.
ReplyDeleteAs for most embarrassing moments as a fan - I remember being at a family BBQ when I was aboout 12 and managing to watch Nitro. Some family members watched along with me. It was the episode where the nWo kidnapped Ric Flair and buried him in the desert. Needless to say, there were many questions asked of me, namely: Why are you watching this shit? I had no sufficient answers.
I'd say most of the stuff that happened through 2002 - 2013 is pretty embarrassing. I couldn't imagine the reaction of someone walking in during shit like Triple H fucking a corpse, Hemme's butt on a pie, the Kane/Shane feud, Snitsky, Khali, Hornswaggle, or who knows what else.
ReplyDeleteI have so many questions about that, and I can only hope to ask Bischoff, or Hogan, or Big Show some day.
ReplyDeleteI mean, why did they call him the Yeti, and have him dress like a mummy? Why did Tony insist on calling him the "Yet-Tay?". Was he told to hug Hulk Hogan and shake? Who thought that the shaking thing would look menacing? It just baffles me that ADULTS, that GROWN MEN who are allowed to buy fire-arms, drive automobiles, and other such things thought of this crap and felt that it wasn't just a good idea, but an idea so good that it needed to be in the MAIN EVENT of a PPV!
Hemme's butt on a pie? How's that one go?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in school we had to write a report on our heroes and why we looked up to them. For some reason I wrote about Faarooq, and the teacher liked my essay so much she stuck it up in the hall for the whole school to see, complete with a picture of Faarooq in his blue spartan helmet. Needless to say, the older kids were ripping the shit out of me for weeks after that
ReplyDeleteHaving my whole family watch Hogan vs. Sting at Starrcade to see Hogan finnally vanguished. Then sitting there dumbfounded when Hogan got the pinfall.
ReplyDeleteShe told the Rock during the "Pie Eating Contest" that her butt was hungry and proceeded to sit on a pie.
ReplyDeleteI wish that there were some way I was making this up. But yes, the Rock was actually involved in that segment.
Chris Benoit - people looked at me like I was sick to be a wrestling fan.
ReplyDeleteKatie Vick. 'nuff said.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this happened to any other wrestling fan, but when all that bullshit went down, did everyone come to you and ask you questions as if you were the lead detective on the case and knew exactly what happened and why?
ReplyDeleteNever been embarrassed. If I was, I wouldn't be a fan.
ReplyDeleteNow, that isn't to say I don't find anything in wrestling to be embarrassingly bad, but I'm not personally embarrassed. Anyone who wants to give me shit for it, I'm willing to bet watches something equally as absurd as the worst wrestling has to offer- reality TV, CBS sitcoms, any network drama- without the upside of offering anything great like wrestling can.
Then again, I didn't start watching wrestling until I was 14 so I gravitated to the smarky, snarky, more cynical view of our beloved pseudo-sport almost immediately.
Eh, I don't agree with that first sentence. There are plenty of shows with terrible episodes or embarrassing scenes that you can stay a fan of despite the hiccups. I'm a huge Star Trek fan, for example, but there are about two dozen episodes that I would never show to a non-fan friend. Same with wrestling - I love me some Austin/Hart or Cena/Punk...but I almost die with every Hornswaggle scene/misogynistic 3rd grade writing for Nattie/Rock Bottom onto the dog poop.
ReplyDeleteThe immature 11 year old boy writing really embarrasses me. Including, but not limited to, 1. Skid Mark Pat Patterson, 2. The writing of virtually every female character ever (most recently Natalya), 3. Honswaggle, 4. Rock Bottom on to dog poop, 5. PUPPIES!, 6. The vast majority of comedy scenes.
ReplyDeleteDidn't own DVR? Couldn't pause?
ReplyDeleteNope, we were kinda poor at the time and just had basic cable, no cable box to record/DVR it.
ReplyDeleteThat was just terrible booking and not really in the same league with things like HHH humping a mannequin.
ReplyDeleteIs watching that really worse than any of the "Housewives of (blank city)"?
ReplyDeleteyeah I was in high school at the time and a few of my friends asked me WHY he did it coz i was a fan of his >_>
ReplyDeleteErm, if you're a guy then yes
ReplyDeleteThe Rock probably went home with at least three of the contestants that night, so a bit of embarrassment was a small price to pay
ReplyDeleteThe Dennis Stamp thing is bad, but for me, EVERY episode of the "Kiss My Ass" club makes me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan for sure.
ReplyDelete" The dog poop! The dog poop! Dog poop! Dog poop! Rock Bottom in the dog poop!"
ReplyDeleteMichael Cole's best call
Havent really been embarrassed by much since I got back into wrestling thanks to Punk, however looking back to when I was a kid, I remember my uncle, who's a nice guy and all, walk over to see what I was watching. It was the Summerslam when HBK oversold against Hogan, and the ridiculous custody ladder match with Mysterio/Eddie. the concept of grown men slowly climbing up a ladder when seconds earlier they were bouncing off the ropes is ridiculous enough for non-fans to take in, but both matches (from memory) were slow-paced and dull, I've never been more disappointed in HBK, rolling out of the ring and stalling every time Hogan's fist slowly wandered in his direction. Very embarrassing stuff that earned me a lot of scorn at the time, causing my Mum to intervene on my behalf, making it even more pathetic.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, 4/5 of my immediate family and my girlfriend all enjoy watching the Rumble and WM together since I got back into it, my brother likes Cena/Orton/Sheamus, i like Punk/Jericho/Shield/UT/DBry, my sister likes Cena and UT, my mum likes Big Show, Batista and Rey, and my gf likes Punk, Santino, and Kofi (and hates Morrison aka FlashPants).
It's a nice atmosphere being able to watch it out in the open which is something i was to insecure and embarrassed about doing as a kid.
I got that, as well as people calling me out of legitimate concern (or so it seemed) "I saw on the news about that wrestler Chris Benoit... he was your favorite right? Are you... ok?" very odd few weeks to be associated with wrestling.
ReplyDeleteI get free PPV at my job so everyone there knows me as the guy who's into wrestling. I'm not embarrassed about it but I do get annoyed by the whole "you know it's fake?" question. I get tired of explaining to my coworkers that I'm a 30 year old, college-educated individual. I know it's fake the same way I know Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't really a cyborg sent back in time to battle another cyborg made of liquid metal. That usually shuts them up until the next idiot comes along with the same question.
ReplyDelete#thatsasadlife
ReplyDeleteI watch TNA like this.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x81F28kPXuo
Meh you should have just told her no from the get go. Mrs. Parallax1978 the first would only be the sexual aggressor when I was enjoying something that wasn't her... because she had to be the center of attention... it worked for a while but after a time I stopped giving in just out of principle. Fortunately Mrs. Parallax1978 the second is more into wrestling than I am so it isn't an issue.
ReplyDeleteI salute you for even admitting to this. Guts, kid.
ReplyDeleteThat's embarrassing because it means you watched complete shows without FF'ing.
ReplyDeleteMy boss called me at work the night that happened. It was...odd. "I just saw Satanists killed Chris Benoit and his family! Thought you'd want to know."
ReplyDeletePretty much this. Wrestling has ALWAYS been made up of mostly stupid shit, mixed with a few memorable moments. Getting embarassed about it seems like a waste of time.
ReplyDeleteI don't have moments that make me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan, just people who really embarrass me to be a wrestling fan. (hinthint)
ReplyDeleteI bust out the "It's not fake, it's fixed" line. Usually all it takes.
ReplyDeleteIt was the beginning of Austin 3:16 mania. I was in 10th grade. One day I wore my Austin 3:16 shirt to school and a few of the "cool kids" saw me with it. One asked me (without sarcasm or teasing, genuinely asking) what "Austin 3:16" meant, if it "was a band" or something. Knowing the real answer was going to be much less accepting, I looked around nervously, saw a few others were watching/listening anyway and I had no choice but to answer or look like a goof, and replied, "No, it's a, uh...a wrestler."
ReplyDeleteThe guy smirks like he was sorry for asking, and one of the other kids sarcastically remarks, "That's what I want to be when I grow up."
Joke is on them: less than a year later almost everyone (ESPECIALLY the jocks) loved them some nWo and Austin 3:16. I was just ahead of the curve.
My current girlfriend knew I watched as a kid, but didn't know I still watched. I wanna say we were flipping thru the channels and she stopped on Raw, and in those few minutes we watched we witnessed Cena calling I believe the Miz or Rock a "poopyhead" and Natalya farting. Thx WWE
ReplyDeleteI still get that shit, too. It's one of the most condescending things to ask someone. "Do I know it's fake?" Yes, and so are TV shows, movies, theater and most "reality TV." Also, fuck you.
ReplyDeleteI steal Foley's line from his first book, when Owen is pranking him: "It's only about 34 percent fake. One time a guy got up to 42 percent fake, and they had to let him go."
ReplyDeleteSearching for this now...
ReplyDeleteLike I said: plenty of stuff I find to be embarrassingly bad, but that doesn't mean I'm personally embarrassed by it. If a non-fan was watching it with me, I'd be making just as much fun of the awful stuff, or fast-forwarding altogether.
ReplyDeleteDavid Arquette, WCW World Heavyweight Champion.
ReplyDeleteClose 2nd: HHH "screwed your brains out". Although I could put up another HHH "classic" here (HHH-Lucy-Steph-Jericho)
Extend the second half to "the death of WCW" for my line of questioning...
ReplyDeleteThat exact same thing happened to me. I remember one of them giving me shit for it being fake, and no joke, 2 months later the same guy runs up to me Tuesday morning and says "Did you see Stone Cold give Slaughter the stunner?! It was fucking awesome! Stone Cold is the man!"
ReplyDeleteThe correct answer whenever somebody asked you what Austin 3:16 meant was, "I just kicked your ass!" Then you kick him in the stomach and drop him like the bag of crap that he is. Flip him off, walk away and be done with it.
ReplyDeleteOh, I thought of that. But even then I knew that would likely cause a whole host of new problems.
ReplyDeleteThat definitely happened to me. I was working in a factory at the time and random people that had never spoken to me before that day were walking up to me and asking about him, like I knew Benoit personally or something.
ReplyDelete...and that's about the time she walked away from me! Nobody likes you when you're 23!
ReplyDeleteWhat gets me is trying to explain blading to people who say the fake blood deal
ReplyDeleteHere's the guy's guide to not getting into this situation, from the very beginning:
ReplyDelete1. Admit you like wrestling. If you're a smart chap who has impressed her with your intelligence, she'll just think it's "cute" that you like it.
2. If a wrestling show is on and you are with the woman, only leave it on if you have bankable stars who will entertain. Otherwise, abstain.
3. Take her to a live show. If she is willing to go, she won't regret it. Between the size of the guys, the athleticism, and the crowd participation, it's an awesome experience.
4. Now, she's taken the bait and starts to watch. Pepper her with guys she thinks are cute (for some, it's the Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/John Morrison types; for others, it's the Austin/Punk type; and some just like the Rock or Miz).
5. She is now a fan who will want to watch the Rock with you rather than craving attention during the show. However, if she is still in that mood...
6. Don't mix sex and wrestling. Get a "headache" until the Rock's segment is over. You can go downtown on a woman any time for a half hour, but there is only one time the Rock will come back after a 6 years hiatus. Although, it would be a pretty cool story for the "where were you when this happened?" files. "Um, I was chin deep in my wife's hooha."
7. If you are downtown while the Rock's music hits, choose the woman and do a little "if ya smellll-la-la-la"
I've been watching wrestling since '84. And the Katie Vick nonsense is the only time I think I've really been embarrassed to be a fan. It doesn't get any worse than that.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA5YR7PH2bM
ReplyDeleteThe day I explained to my future wife that I watch wrestling. She had never seen it before, and it was the night that Kane unmasked. She didn't understand what the big deal was. Then I had to give her Kane's backstory. HAVE YOU EVER FUCKING DONE THAT?? *ahem* Anyway, she seemed OK with my explanation of that. A few years later.....here comes fucking Hornswoggle. She asked me to explain that one. All I could come up with was "He's a leprechaun". So she was OK with the whole Kane backstory, but a fucking leprechaun makes her shake her head. Fuck you, Hornswoggle. Just.....fuck you.
ReplyDeleteI actually explained the Kane storyline to someone back in 1998 and it got them hooked on wrestling for about 2 years... that will never happen again.
ReplyDeleteKatie Vick made me so embarrassed to be watching that I stopped being a weekly viewer for over a year!
ReplyDeleteI was scared of that as a youngster.
ReplyDelete"He was insane."
ReplyDeleteThat's the only explaination I could come up with...
It's popular so it must be good.
ReplyDeleteI remember that Sting/Abyss Last Rites match from Destination X, I think in 2007. My dad was watching with me and I really felt stupid for not only watching, but him knowing I PAID to watch it....
ReplyDeleteI think Shockmaster was worse.
ReplyDeleteI was at the Arquette show... I think it was more embarrassed to be watching WCW at that point than wrestling in general. I know that everyone leaving the building that night was swearing off WCW as they were walking out (after they threw all their sodas, popcorn, etc. into the ring after Arquette won).
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean... but I gotta admit, the skid mark was pretty funny (I think it was more Lawler laughing hilariously at it).
ReplyDeleteI always thought the Rock was gay.
ReplyDeleteThree letters for you, sir... D. V. R.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I watched the Rumble with my non-fan brother, and even though the Rumble wasn't great (kind of a shame, cause I'd like my brother to see good wrestling) but we had plenty of fun by riffing on the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteDon't be embarrassed by wrestling sucking. You didn't write the shit.
You're spot on with this! I've gone through most of the steps with my wife, but have not been able to get her to go to a show. I'm going to try to convince her to go with me to New Orleans for Mania next year... it's a city that everyone wants to go to, so she may take the bait.
ReplyDeleteAs for 6, wrestling never wins out... that's what the DVR is for (as I mentioned above).
I don't talk about wrestling in public because most wrestling fans are total fucking goons and having to listen to 10 minutes of how awesome Randy Orton is would cause me to gouge out my own eyes.
ReplyDeleteThis embarrasses no one. This was totally awesome.
ReplyDeleteHere's the sad thing, you know WWE today, as much as they mock WCW for it, would probably do something similar if they could get a celebrity to stick around for a bit. Hell, I'm sure most kids today think they already did with the Rock.
ReplyDeleteCan't go two posts without mentioning me, can you?
ReplyDeleteBAZINGA!
ReplyDeleteDude... she's going to find out sooner or later! But I'm wondering what the opposite equivalent is... I'm guessing it would be akin to finding out your girlfriend still watches My Little Pony? Collects Barbies?
ReplyDeleteI don't know what my MOST embarrassing part of being a wrestling fan is, but my most RECENT one was the night after WrestleMania when the crowd was losing it for Fandango. I was watching with my wife and I had the biggest smile on my face and was just kinda laughing about it because I couldn't believe it. She was looking at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, I suppose I was only embarrassed that I was enjoying it so damn much and I couldn't look away.
Wait, are you talking about adults saying Orton is awsome? Really?
ReplyDelete"We, in the WWF, think that you, the audience, are quite frankly, tired of having your intelligence insulted."
ReplyDeleteIt's my honest answer.
ReplyDeleteThis is a bizarre subcategory "Angles that you can't explain". The one I ran into is Austin's "What?" phase. A friend asked why he kept saying it and I really had no answer.
ReplyDeleteI marked for this HUGE as a kid (I was big into horror movies at the time). I thought it was gonna lead to a badass path of revenge by Taker on everyone that participated...instead I got Leslie Neilson.
ReplyDeleteSomeone's gay for Mar Solo.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay, it happens. Usually to women but it's fine for the occasional guy to obsess over me.
You also have to crouch down next to them and shake your head side to side while you cuss the out...then double bird.
ReplyDeleteSo many people are CONVINCED it is fake blood or blood capsules.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't help the "gay" talk either.
ReplyDeleteI think you have confused homosexual attraction with embarrassment and pity.
ReplyDeleteI'm not the one who's confused. You can't stop talking about me.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop talking about how lame you are.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how old Mar Solo is, but you're 37, right? Just checking because the constant bickering and trolling between you and Mar Solo is really getting dumb. Can you both cool it for a while?
ReplyDeleteThe fat naked writer guy who showed up fairly often 4 or 5 years ago on WWE tv dripping in baby oil embarrassed me when I was watching with other non-wrestling fans on more than one occasion.
ReplyDeleteWell, to be fair I didn't bring my brother and my Mothers to watch HHH hump a mannequin.
ReplyDeleteI did bring them in to finally watch the nWo get what was coming to them and explaining to them how Sting can't lose and Hulk Hogan is finally going to get what was coming for him.
I guess they're adults? Orton is popular among the "too old for Cena, too stupid for Bryan" fanbase.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, there's some broad who goes to my school who rocks a CM Punk shirt, so I quoted the "The greatest thing the devil did..." promo and she no-sold it.
I know I shouldn't hate on new fans...but that promo is pretty fucking famous.
Dude's obsessed with me. I find it rather creepy.
ReplyDeleteMy money's on bi.
ReplyDeleteYou're easily confused due to low intelligence and social ineptitude.
ReplyDeleteand we got PURPLE Undertaker!
ReplyDeleteI've never understood the hate for this angle. Is it silly? Sure, a little. But I thought it was awesome as a young teen. It's certainly not the worst thing the WWF/E has put on TV or PPV.
ReplyDeleteCrap, I can't believe I forgot this part! *Hangs head in shame and leaves*
ReplyDeleteI mean...has he been seen with any starlet? Or any woman besides his wife?
ReplyDeleteOh please, the stories of Rock getting "pie" in South Beach are legendary down here. If he's gay, he's doing a helluva job to hide it in Miami Beach of all places.
ReplyDeleteEven the best of shows will generally have a moment that will make you face palm when a non fan walks in the room.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved in my future wife I think she was less disgusted by my death metal CD collection than my VHS wrestling library. I still get shit about my crates of VHS tapes in the basement.
ReplyDeleteI was in high school around that time, wrestling was so popular the cool kids and the nerds had rival backyard wrestling promotions.
ReplyDeleteMy friend and his dad are both willful marks and they both love Orton, namely because being a surly douche makes him seem "tough" to them. They both worship HHH too. For reference, the friend in question is 29 and his dad is 50-something.
ReplyDeleteOh fuck dude. YEARS of shit from the same hockey player assholes for me watching wrestling and then all of a sudden they wanna know did Pillman really shoot Austin.
ReplyDeleteIt's the toughest to explain to former fans why I still watch after they see Cenas schtick or Hornswoggle or dancing dunces. I guess I don't have an answer because I don't much care what they hell other people think about why I love wrestling.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Jason Giambis at bat music for the Indians is the wolfpac theme, which rocks.
Which it fucking should be, at this point.
ReplyDeleteDrives me nuts to NO FUCKING END that there are tons of women out there who condescend to me for watching wrestling but actually think Jersey Shore and Bad Girls Club is real.
ReplyDeleteI forgot that you're one of the youngsters here. And I've never seen the promo you're talking about either.
ReplyDeleteIf I only had one upvote to give...
ReplyDeleteYeah! People were talking about it all over so i'd usually end up having to fill people in on details and give them all the fucked up backstory. I got tired of it after a while. Funnily enough, I was at a concert when it happened and that Raw episode aired and I didn't even know about it until my non-fan sister told me when she saw it on CNN.
ReplyDeleteI was on a family vacation with my family in 2007 and put up a protest to leave whatever theme park we were (I think Sea World) to go to Smackdown in Orlando. My Dad wasn't thrilled about it but my sisters boyfriend and my girlfriend voted to go so off we went. My Dad decided to go, I think because he used to take us when we were kids and enjoyed it for what it was, but after listening to some rednecks in front of his yelling at Edge for 15 minutes he got up and left when a Boogeyman pre-tape aired. He always supported me being a fan, he thought Steve Austin was fun and watched Wrestling with Shadows on his own but this was the "you're too old for this foolishness" moment.
ReplyDeleteDidn't he not live in the same city as said "wife"? I've heard that rumor plenty of times. Plus, if you wanna give creedence to stereotypes, he's Samoan and is from Hawaii, both of which are mega-gay centric.
ReplyDeleteBack in 7th grade, so about 97 for me, everyone in my school had to have a day planner to carry around and write their homework assignments in, and you could decorate them however you wanted. Well, I had my wrestling motif, with Austin stuff and DX stuff and nWo stuff and whatever but for the front, I had a big one-page poster thing from WCW magazine of Goldberg. (Mind you, this was 97, when Goldberg was still feuding with Alex Wright and Mongo). Despite wrestling starting to become acceptable, I suffered a littany of gay jokes for having a big muscley guy in tights on my planner. Even moreso when some douchenozzle stole it and drew a dick coming out of his trunks. Needless to say I ditched the wrestling thing and started putting South Park and Korn on it.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I live in a nice state.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, he really gives off the gay vibe. The lack of hair and the gymbunny physique aren't doing much to quell that for me either.
ReplyDeleteUh...I'm in college. Stupidity is a universal fact of life.
ReplyDeleteAnd the promo that kicked off the original Summer of Punk heel turn? Back in RoH, when he won the belt he cut a promo talking about how everybody believed in him.
"You stupid old man, I'm a snake!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJapKTHWS_k
You live in California, right? Ok, just checking.
ReplyDeleteHey, don't compare Orton and Trips.
ReplyDeleteTriple H is a talented wrestler who has some of the best psychology I've even seen.
Orton is an indy goon in a CAW body.
Mrs. P1978 the first sounds a lot like an ex-girlfriend of mine; I still blame her for my team losing the Super Bowl because she couldn't keep her hands off me. I warned her, knowing she wasn't a football fan, but she instsed on coming over. We no longer speak.
ReplyDeleteGod damn, that's a pretty good promo.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I go see a PPV at the local movie theatre I am constantly embarrassed by the uneducated yokels surrounding me. I hate to sound elitist, but these are people who (judging by what I've overheard) still believe there were two Undertakers and two Ultimate Warriors, and that Kane and Taker are really brothers. One year I saw Summerslam at the theatre and during the pre-show a vignette for Randy Orton came on (this was during his "Legend Killer" gimmick). Some douchebag--a grown adult, mind you--shouted at the screen, "More like the Moron Killer!" I really wanted to say to him, "Think about what you just said: who were you trying to insult there?"
ReplyDeleteI remember watching oz as a kid, and it was during the middle of the day. My mom and dad randomly walked in the room while that Wolfgang dude (who left all his money to Alvarez) was ass raping schillingers former buddy who got the black guy gums. It wasn't just normal ass rape either, I remember the guy getting raped had a stocking stretched over his face and was getting donkey punched. Needless to say I was mortified at the timing
ReplyDeleteThank god for dvr
ReplyDeleteAny time wrestling is brought up, someone always chimes in about the 2 Ultimate Warriors, without fail.
ReplyDeleteDamn right.
ReplyDeleteOkay, at least you live south of the Everglades. The panhandle is a frightening place by all accounts I've heard.
The way he plays off the crowd is incredible. And the moment right before the betrayal. The crowd senses something was happening, but they didn't know what.
ReplyDeleteBest mic worker of all time?
You're easily confused because you have an obsession with another man. It's okay. We're here for you when you feel ready to open the closet door.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I'm not into guys.
Royal Rumble 94. Taker/Yoko. Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteYou continue to confuse attraction with repulsion. Invest in a dictionary. If you can find a book in that dump of a city you live in.
ReplyDeleteI love that promo but I wouldn't classify it as famous.
ReplyDeleteI usually just go overly into a whole "WHAT!?!? Next you're gonna tell me that Mark Ruffalo really cannot transform into a giant green monster."
ReplyDeleteThe 1999 Jim Ross heel run where he beat up MIchael Cole. My mother came in the room and saw an angry southern man who obviously had a real speech impediment/deformity shrieking about how Cole said he scared children and animals, and then kicking him in the shins and beating him up. She was pretty bothered by it.
ReplyDeleteRecently I had one of these moments. My cousin was visiting and we were on Netflix when he saw Raw 100 and said we should watch it(he used to watch wrestling with me but rarely does now) One of the early moments was the Tuxedo match between Fink and Harvey Whippleman.
ReplyDeleteI actually thought the first half of it was really clever. Even though I was only ten or eleven I'd always wondered why the heels didn't just swarm the face in a No-DQ match. It only got silly once, rather than the Undertaker being taken down by sheer force of numbers, they felt they had to have Yoko smash the urn to destroy the "power of the Undertaker." The colourful smoke that looked like the stuff that came out of Gonzo's horn during the Muppet Show Intro didn't help, nor did the goofy floor show and pseudo-philosophical ramblings as the Undertaker disappeared. Still, for the era it wasn't the goofiest thing they did.
ReplyDeleteYes, that fucking midget makes me sick. A few years back, I was watching wrestling upstairs in my parents place when I thought nobody was home and my redneck stepfather, who has hated wrestling since day one, walks in during one of those atrocious Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero matches! He flips out, grabs the remote and changes it to one of those car auction shows he loves so much. In my mind, I wanted to plow that midget through the pavement with my car if I saw him walking across the street! Hey WWE, lost your midget? Look under my tires!
ReplyDeleteNo it doesn't! I think I'd go to TNA and work independents before I join that club.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW!!!! And then get mad if you tell them otherwise!
ReplyDeleteI can say the same thing about parts of California...
ReplyDeleteYet, I was never more disappointed in his 'game' when I read about the time he tried to get it on with a just turned legal (at the time) Scarlett Johansson. Even 10 years ago, he thought he was irresistible, but she was just thinking "eww" at the time because of the age difference.
ReplyDeleteNot that I blame him for trying.
ReplyDeleteYep, I got an e-mail from a non-fan friend who knew Benoit was my favourite guy that said, "heard about Chris Benoit. I'm really sorry, man." It was worded a little strange, as if he were talking about a family member passing, and I didn't quite know how to respond.
ReplyDeleteOoooh...parts. We're the most populated states. Even god has an asshole.
ReplyDeleteFlorida has an island of sex offenders.
*drops mic*
In 2002 I was hanging out with a friend of mine who I kind of had a crush on, and we were sitting on her couch channel-surfing. We came across SmackDown, and she knew I was a fan and asked me if I wanted to leave the show on for a little while. I hesitantly agreed, because you never really know what might happen in some random segment. Sure enough, Rikishi fought Reverend D-Von, and D-Von did his diving headbutt to the groin off the top rope spot and got "stuck" in Rikishi's crotch. Neither of us said anything as we watched him try to squirm free for quite some time, and after an awkward silence, she just said, "that's disgusting'. I agreed with her, she changed the channel, and we never talked wrestling ever again.
ReplyDeleteBitch has CM Punk headphones.
ReplyDeleteShe should know her Punkstory.
I attended The Great American Bash 2004. The end.
ReplyDeleteSeriously now, I was in the stands watching Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. It was so quite that you could hear a pin drop. I wondered why Mysterio wasn't even getting a reaction. So at some point Chavo is looking right at me, I believe during a rest hold. Now, because it was a rest hold the crowd was even quieter than usual. Mysterio wasn't even trying to rally them either. I decide I'm going to yell a derogatory remark in Chavo's general direction. I screamed "YOU SUCK!" Somewhere between "you" and "suck" my voice popped something fierce. It sounded something like a cat scratching a chalkboard while getting squished. Everyone just sat there, looking straight ahead, cracking their eyes and trying to suppress their giggles. All except for one little girl, who immediately jerked her head around backwards to look at me with her mouth hung open. I died a little inside that day.
Prior to that they were filming a segway for Heat, back when they would roam the arena halls and film fans doing stupid shit. I was in the middle of one of those segways, positioning myself perfectly for my sign to make air. The cameraman raised his camera up and motioned for us to go crazy. I held up my sign: "WAYLON MERCY. KNOW WHAT I MEAN?" and boom, elbow to the face and a giant piece of cardboard goes up in front of me, held up by two mongoloid children who looked twelve in the face but were the size of gorillas. Once the camera goes down and I finish checking for blood, I see the front of it:
"CHAINGANG SOLDJER"
My hatred for Cena may very well be because of that incident.
It always seems like something happens to me at each wrestling event I go to. Starrcade 1991 I tripped walking down the stairs and landed head first. Being seven years old I cried like a bitch. During one of the famous "Ron Simmons as champion" WCW house shows of 1992 that drew 200 people to 20,000 seat arenas, I had a floor seat. I couldn't see jack shit, so my father suggested we go to one of the maaaaaany empty bowl seats. A nanosecond after our asses touched the seats, an employee told us to sit in our assigned seats or GTFO. We left.
At World War 3 1995 I begged a stranger to help me with the roll of film in my camera. As he was messing with it, the main event ended, so I caused him to miss the end of the main event. If that guy is reading this, I'm an asshole and I apologize. Um... other small stuff, like ripping the crotch of my pants while climbing down into my seat at a famous episode of RAW that Scott claimed to have fallen asleep 72 times while watching and spilling my massive drink at a WWF house show in 1998 and watching it run right into a ladies stack of freshly-bought t-shirts that she had on the ground between her feet.
Punk has headphones?
ReplyDeleteMrs. Parallax1978 The First sounds like a right cunt.
ReplyDelete....So? Did you end up fucking The Rock?
ReplyDeleteHe called you gay, dawg.
ReplyDeleteNote to closet gays: Just because YOU'RE attracted to them DOES NOT mean men give off gay vibes.
ReplyDeleteExcept for...
Hugh Jackman
John Travolta
Tom Cruise
Marlon Brando
Randy Orton
Okay so get this:
ReplyDeleteI'm watching Nitro. The Nitro Girls come out, so I decide to pleasure myself using Vaseline. I couldn't get to completion by the time the Nitro Girls finished, but I just kept on a-goin'.
Long story short, I was found naked with a prostate massager while Norman Smiley was on.
Awkward.
Apparent-fucking-ly.
ReplyDeleteAnd I reiterate. You rock Punk gear and date somebody with a PWG shirt? (It's SoCal) You should know Punk's indy work.
Rock is not my type.
ReplyDeletePunk though...*sighs*...
I enjoyed reading that. What was the main of WW3 1995 anyway? If I recall, Macho won the battle royal, but I can never remember if those obnoxious things were the mains or not.
ReplyDeleteDo you live in the South?
ReplyDeleteIt should be a shock to no one, but I laughed pretty hard at the "drew a dick coming out of his trunks" deal. I use to get shit for that too, as I had Kevin Nash and Scott Hall on my binder in the 6th grade. This was in 95/96, so wrestling was at the all time low. This was also during the time I was wearing the fake razor/gold Razor Ramon necklace too. I thought I was the coolest motherfucker with that thing.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that bad of a match, and it earns an extra star for the EXTREMELY loud "Fire Russo!" chants. I miss that old TNA crowd, they were fantastic.
ReplyDeleteI use to simply pull "What's your favorite TV show?" and go from there. Well, there was one smart-ass kid when I was in 9th grade, and when I asked that question he said "COPS". I had to give him props for being smart enough to figure out where I was going.
ReplyDeleteBlink's my favorite band, and I thought of that exact same thing when reading this. Criminally under-rated group...
ReplyDeleteI don't buy that because she was pretty open about having banged Benicio del Toro in an elevator at a party once, and still hasn't denied it. I think Rock's just bearding.
ReplyDeleteNo way. There is no way in hell that Big Dick Johnson could make anybody feel stupid for watching.
ReplyDeleteAh the Bad Girls Club where boyfriends/husbands are forced to watch stupid/crazy bitches attempt to get other stupid/crazy bitches kicked out of the house when that is not even the point of the show.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the Yeti was just trying to replicate WCW's awful vibrator toys action.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I can relate. I was watching Oz with my sister several years ago, and it was one of the shower fights... I want to say Alvarez and Guerra. My grandmother walked into the room to talk to us, so I paused the DVD... right when Alvarez's dong was front and center on the screen. Needless to say, my grandmother was mortified: "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING???"
ReplyDeleteIs that what she was thinking? Or, maybe black guys aren't her type? Age on Hollywood means nothing. She fucked Sean penn dude.
ReplyDeleteLots of parts, it's not like Florida voted down gay marriage. Pick up your mic.
ReplyDeleteI had those. They were an improvement over the action figures that didn't move. I never understood that. Who the fuck wants an action figure with no action?
ReplyDeleteYup. There is a reason she is "Mrs. Parallax1978 the first" and not "Mrs. Parallax1978"
ReplyDeleteNope, I was living in Calgary at the time. (Which is Southern
ReplyDeleteAlberta, if that counts.)
Blue spartan helmet wins you this thread, which is no small task in any thread where the Giant and Yeti dry humping Hogan is mentioned.
ReplyDeleteThis just might be the greatest post in the history of this blog, and it's buried nearly 200 posts deep, so hardly anyone will read it. I regret that I have but one upvote to give.for your prostate massager.
ReplyDeleteYou gave us Pitbull.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet again, you have ISLANDS OF SEX OFFENDERS!
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/03/sex-offender-city/307907/
I will not defend Pitbull...ever. I don't even know how we got here from my Rock comment, what was it that you meant?
ReplyDeleteFlorida sucks is my point. And you suck for living there.
ReplyDeleteOnly one of those comments was serious.
What does your attraction to me have to do with a dictionary? Are you saying you want me to pose as a sexy librarian for you? I have too much of a surfer physique to pull it off.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was born in Tampa and I've spent time in Miami Beach.
ReplyDeleteHonestly Florida is quite pretty. I'm just giving you shit.
But yeah, the Panhandle is scary white trash Bray Wyatt Deliverance poor.
...Korn?
ReplyDeleteChristian left him a voicemail with bad reception...
ReplyDeleteY'know...that really isn't better, is it?
You and your concern for "blood borne illnesses" pshh, man up Ryan.
ReplyDeleteNigga, you gay.
ReplyDeleteThose were her words at the time, not mine. She had yet to do anything past Lost in Translation at that point, so I think she was a little less shallow and a little more naive.
ReplyDeleteLike I just posted, that was Scarlett's story--him trying to lay the mack down (see what I did there?)--from one of them Allure or Jane like magazines.
ReplyDeleteThe battle royale was the main.
ReplyDeleteThat show is remembered for two reasons; Hogan burning a copy of Wrestling Observer and Hogan being booed harder than he ever was before his heel turn
I'd like to say it was only because I was a tween and didn't know any better but I actually had listened to better stuff before that (my moms friend used to give me her old rock magazines when she was done from when I was, like, 8, so I was a junior hipster) but Korn really caught my fancy at the time. Mind you, they'd only had two albums out and weren't super well known yet.
ReplyDeleterock's publicists probably planted that to fend off the gay rumors then, because she's been pretty open about boning guys older than Rock. Vin Diesel's gay too, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteOrlandos bars are cooler than its theme parks, you just gotta know the locals.
ReplyDeleteFor sure. I've partied there once or twice in my younger days. I live close to Ft. Lauderdale, so for bars, I go there rather than Miami.
ReplyDeleteMy brother, who is five years older than me (to the day, in fact) was a Korn guy.
ReplyDeleteI still give him shit.
P.S. I liked some real crap when I was younger (still do, honestly).
And you ended up marrying her.
ReplyDeleteHaha, nope.
ReplyDelete