Fascinating wording: "How big, if a loser, is Scott Keith?" It appears he's conditioning this question. He wants to know Scott Keith's size, but only in the event that Scott meets the established criteria of a 'loser'. Were Scott to fall outside of the prescribed requirements, then Elvy is no longer interested in obtaining his measurements. "Is he the biggest Canadian loser ever?" In this question he ponders the nature of Scott's propensity to permanently misplace individuals of Candian nationality under his charge. Perhaps such a loss might occur when chaperoning them across the American border, a situation which accentuates their overall 'Canadian-ness'. So the true question is, during such jaunts, has Scott suffered a greater loss/casualty rate than any other such individual who had claimed responsibility for the well being of fellow Canadians. Fascinating is the fact that he perceives Dixie Carter as the leading authority of whom to make this inquiry.
I'm pretty sure Elvy is the one downvoting everything in the TNA threads, and he's also spent the past couple of years signing my e-mail address up for gay dating websites and any other randomly offensive things he can think of. It's quite the passive-aggressive campaign although I still can't figure out what his issue with me actually is.
Who is Elvy and why does he hate you Scott? Did you refuse to put him over, sabotage him politically, bad mouth him to upper management all while simultaneously banging your bosses daughter?
Wow. I had to look. I just had to, but I'm sorry I did. He has dedicated 50 or so tweets in the last two days to Scott, Madden, and Maffew. And he hit on a porn star, I think, in between it all.
Weird how he also mentions some other board members here (Ten Germans, Andrew B) and has gripes with them, too. One who knows him should probably be concerned for his mental health.
He's a weird, weird guy. He also posts on the 411 and Insidepulse comments using Fuj's name for some reason, always to defend TNA. I know his IP address so it's easy to determine when he pops up here or on Pulse, and he's been perma-banned here for years. And yes, he spends most of his time on Twitter hitting on porn stars while accusing others of not having a life and/or girlfriend.
His comments are mostly about my looks and given the amount of times they've tweeted about it in the last few days, there's definitely a lot of built-up tension there.
It's fascinating to me that no matter how low-level of a celebrity a person is, there is inevitably someone out there that will dedicate their life to obsessing over that person. I don't mean that to be insulting in any way, it's quite an accomplishment to make some money, and develop a following doing something that you love to do. Is it flattering in a creepy sort of way, or is it just creepy as all hell? Do you tell your wife about this kind of thing, and what does she think of it?
It's worse than that, even. Scott doesn't know he's Elvy, but as soon as he sees a picture of Mark Madden, he freaks out and switches Twitter accounts.
Join us on the Apple side of the aisle! I got my iPhone 5 a couple months ago and I absolutely love it. Wasn't as big a fan of the 4, had a lot of problems with it, but the 5 is the shit.
For those who ain't been paying attention, it seems like things have been heating up in the Impact Zone, brothers! Not only do we have a new World Heavyweight Champion but we have the hottest feud to hit wrestling since the days I was bodyslamming giants and chopping mountains down with the edge of my hand, dude. It seems the ElvyLand8s have a problem with my best friend in the history of the business, the Scotter. Well, Scott-mon, you're not alone in this fight, brother, because as long as the Hulkster has blood running in his veins and the word "Immortal" plastered on his back like a neon indicator of his mid-life crisis, he will be right here by your side, Jack.
So Elvy, I know that trolls usually live under bridges, brother, but the Scotter and I aren't the Billy Goats Gruff, dude, and as sure as I am that Eric Bischoff sneaks a look at my little Hulkamania whenever we share a sauna, I'm just as sure that my 24-inch pythons and the Scott-Mon's giant Hulk Fists are ready to take you to the other side, Jack!
I'm planning to upgrade my phone tomorrow and I'm down to choosing between the Galaxy S 4 and the iPhone 5. What specifically about the iPhone has you considering switching down the line? Note: I'm currently on Android.
Man, when I used to write for 411mania, anytime I mentioned TNA, Evyl would be right there screaming in comments about my "obvious bias" and then claiming I had said things I never did like Monty Brown would have been the Hogan of TNA or such. And I thought ECW fans drank the Kool-Aid.
I really like the Samsung as well, don't get me wrong. I've been using a Galaxy S2X for a year now and it's great. With the iPhone I like that accessories are more plentiful and it's overall smoother and faster and just WORKS. I don't mind playing with buggy and cutting edge stuff that sometimes crashes (as with many Android apps that have to be made for a wide variety of phone specs) but sometimes it's nice to just download shit and have it run like it's supposed to. Both are very nice phones, though.
What makes it weirder is that I was reviewing TNA and trying to convince people to watch it for close to a year, and yet he still attacked me in IP's comments, this time on the other side of the fence.
I never got putting so much effort into somebody you hate, online or in real life. It just seems like too much wasted effort when you can be doing something fun or constructive. I guess Elvy considers doing this "fun" but that's pretty fucking sad. If I don't like somebody or hate them I just don't have anything to do with them. It's just so much easier that way. I have enough grief in my life that I don't need to actively seek out more. Elvy needs to realize this and go get some friends in real life and if he's able to get a girlfriend and stop obsessing over porn stars. That's just creepy.
I thought some of my ardent admirers were bad, although they've all just about turned the corner now, but they're nothing compared to this Elvy character. I have no idea who he is, but man alive. I've been apart of a lot of fan culture online, and I swear that pro-wrestling has some of the most pathetic people on Earth at it's altar.
I think I know who you are and I read some of your columns at the other place. You did come off very biased and smarky against TNA. I have to admit that myself. Your writing reeked of WWE fanboyism at times from the small amount of stuff I read from you.
Well goddam! Hyatte is alive and kicking (though he seems to be short on material these days) -- Can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner -- "Did you know where you were when Menudo broke up?" has to be some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time...
Don't forget about the gnarly Menudo question -- We should all go back and reflect on where we were when they broke up as it marked a cultural paradigm shift, or something...
So you're saying I was "very" bad at one point, but I've been upgraded to "really"? That's improvement, baby! Before you know it, you'll make a post like "I can't believe I'm agreeing with you" and then soon it's "you've really improved, dig this review" and finally it's "Alright, dammit, I support Caliber"
I even turned Cultstatus, and he hated me. Sure, he'll deny enjoying my work, but I think he's just playing hard to get. Same with Dougie.
I could think of at least a half of Dozen Canadians that are bigger losers than Scott Keith.
ReplyDeleteDO your farts smell like Canadian Bacon?!
ReplyDeleteI'm generally more of a fan of turkey bacon.
ReplyDeleteHow big, if a loser is Scott Keith? Perfectly average size I think.
ReplyDeleteOrmie? Ttg? Marky Mark? Shaft? NAC? Rookie Monster?
ReplyDeleteNo one could possibly be a fan of turkey bacon.
ReplyDeleteHe/She hates me too. We should create a help group.
ReplyDeleteThat screenshot looks like it's from an iPhone. I thought you were an Android guy Scott?
ReplyDeleteFascinating wording:
ReplyDelete"How big, if a loser, is Scott Keith?" It appears he's conditioning this question. He wants to know Scott Keith's size, but only in the event that Scott meets the established criteria of a 'loser'. Were Scott to fall outside of the prescribed requirements, then Elvy is no longer interested in obtaining his measurements.
"Is he the biggest Canadian loser ever?" In this question he ponders the nature of Scott's propensity to permanently misplace individuals of Candian nationality under his charge. Perhaps such a loss might occur when chaperoning them across the American border, a situation which accentuates their overall 'Canadian-ness'. So the true question is, during such jaunts, has Scott suffered a greater loss/casualty rate than any other such individual who had claimed responsibility for the well being of fellow Canadians. Fascinating is the fact that he perceives Dixie Carter as the leading authority of whom to make this inquiry.
It's from my friend's phone. He sent it to me.
ReplyDeleteScott is merely a Canucks fan and not a Canucks player of Canadian nationality, so "no."
ReplyDeleteWhat?! It's great! Pretty much fat free and delicious!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Elvy is the one downvoting everything in the TNA threads, and he's also spent the past couple of years signing my e-mail address up for gay dating websites and any other randomly offensive things he can think of. It's quite the passive-aggressive campaign although I still can't figure out what his issue with me actually is.
ReplyDeleteSeconded. I do love me some turkey bacon.
ReplyDeleteHow could anyone downvote this?
ReplyDeleteThey're more chokers than losers. The Oilers or Flames would be the biggest losers.
ReplyDeleteThe one time I had turkey back it tasted like the plastic it was wrapped in.
ReplyDeleteWho is Elvy?
ReplyDeleteWow. I feel like I'm watching the episode of Arrested Development where George Michael reveals that he's never met Lucille Austero.
ReplyDeleteI miss Elvy....well not so much Elvy as Elvy's contributions here, he was a good heel.
ReplyDeleteYou think it's crazy someone doesn't like turkey bacon? Prepare yourself. I don't like bacon.....at all.
ReplyDeleteTurkey Bacon is great.
ReplyDeleteWho is Elvy and why does he hate you Scott? Did you refuse to put him over, sabotage him politically, bad mouth him to upper management all while simultaneously banging your bosses daughter?
ReplyDelete#Scott KeitHHH
I banned that fake turkey shit my house. Unless it is lunch meat for a sandwich or Thanksgiving dinner.
ReplyDeleteWow. I had to look. I just had to, but I'm sorry I did. He has dedicated 50 or so tweets in the last two days to Scott, Madden, and Maffew. And he hit on a porn star, I think, in between it all.
ReplyDeleteWeird how he also mentions some other board members here (Ten Germans, Andrew B) and has gripes with them, too. One who knows him should probably be concerned for his mental health.
I second the "Who is Elvy and why does he hate you?" question.
ReplyDeleteCookie Monster is Canadian?
ReplyDelete''When will @Maffewgregg apologize to RD Reynolds of Wrestlecrap for stealing his material? #AskDixie''
ReplyDeleteNEVERRRRRRRRR
He's a weird, weird guy. He also posts on the 411 and Insidepulse comments using Fuj's name for some reason, always to defend TNA. I know his IP address so it's easy to determine when he pops up here or on Pulse, and he's been perma-banned here for years. And yes, he spends most of his time on Twitter hitting on porn stars while accusing others of not having a life and/or girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteHis comments are mostly about my looks and given the amount of times they've tweeted about it in the last few days, there's definitely a lot of built-up tension there.
ReplyDeleteYou're only human Elvy. I think.
Admit it Scott, you're pulling an Andy Kaufman, and are in fact, Elvy.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I never thought of doing that to somebody. It would be a hilarious way to get back at my one ex.
ReplyDeleteI imagine Elvy's life is probably a lot like the movie Repulsion, except substitute the sexual repression for a complete social retardation.
ReplyDeleteI think that's his way of asking you out, Scott. He just hasn't come to terms with his feelings yet.
ReplyDeleteI like turkey bacon.
ReplyDeleteNot as much as the real deal, but I'll take it.
I once signed my brother up for a year's subscription to a gay porn mag. It was the gag gift that kept on giving.
ReplyDeleteLive, from the Blog of Doom, it's Personality Disorder Theatre!
ReplyDeleteIt's fascinating to me that no matter how low-level of a celebrity a person is, there is inevitably someone out there that will dedicate their life to obsessing over that person.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean that to be insulting in any way, it's quite an accomplishment to make some money, and develop a following doing something that you love to do.
Is it flattering in a creepy sort of way, or is it just creepy as all hell? Do you tell your wife about this kind of thing, and what does she think of it?
That ain't right.
ReplyDeleteYou, sir, must remove "American" from your username immediately.
ReplyDeleteugh...
ReplyDeletebut then again im black and pretty much addicted to pork.
i forgot he was the fake Fuj!
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, that makes sense now. TNA sucks, so he poses as me to defend TNA. He used to do it on Pulse all the time.
I'll go one further. I don't like pork. Not ham, not pork chops, not bacon, not pork rinds. Nada.
ReplyDelete:(
ReplyDeletePork is so good though.
I'll PRESUME it's the guy who sang I Want Your Sex you're talking about.
ReplyDeleteWhich reminds me, kind sir-this Rangers fan wants to know HOW THE HELL ARE THE DEVILS GONNA PAY CORY SCHNEIDER????????
ReplyDeleteThey call it back bacon in The Great White North, you hoser.
ReplyDeleteI was think more Dave Coulier and Snow actually
ReplyDeleteI subscribe to the Jules theory. I don't dig on swine. I used to eat ham at Christmas time but I've just never cared for pork.
ReplyDeleteChicken on the other hand...I could eat that all day. Grilled chicken is my bacon.
2 pork chop sammiches and some kesha?
ReplyDeletewith grapeade arizona?
what?!!!
It's worse than that, even. Scott doesn't know he's Elvy, but as soon as he sees a picture of Mark Madden, he freaks out and switches Twitter accounts.
ReplyDeleteI read that in Stone Cold's voice and paused for what's. I don't know if that was intended but damn him anyway.
ReplyDeleteAnd I might as well throw more dirt on my grave but I hate grape flavored stuff too.
I totally did it to an old college girlfriend after she cheated on me
ReplyDeleteJoin us on the Apple side of the aisle! I got my iPhone 5 a couple months ago and I absolutely love it. Wasn't as big a fan of the 4, had a lot of problems with it, but the 5 is the shit.
ReplyDeleteMOTHER-FUCKER!
ReplyDelete*slams imaginary papers down*
Bizarro Fuj...
Vagina still cool?
I read it in the voice of Dule Hill in Psych. Sounds exactly like something he would say.
ReplyDeleteYes. That's one that I agree with you on. Not that there's anything wrong with the other option.
ReplyDeletei concur.
ReplyDelete*smokes imaginary pipe*
Damn, you're right. That last "what!?" is totally him.
ReplyDeleteFor those who ain't been paying attention, it seems like things have been heating up in the Impact Zone, brothers! Not only do we have a new World Heavyweight Champion but we have the hottest feud to hit wrestling since the days I was bodyslamming giants and chopping mountains down with the edge of my hand, dude. It seems the ElvyLand8s have a problem with my best friend in the history of the business, the Scotter. Well, Scott-mon, you're not alone in this fight, brother, because as long as the Hulkster has blood running in his veins and the word "Immortal" plastered on his back like a neon indicator of his mid-life crisis, he will be right here by your side, Jack.
ReplyDeleteSo Elvy, I know that trolls usually live under bridges, brother, but the Scotter and I aren't the Billy Goats Gruff, dude, and as sure as I am that Eric Bischoff sneaks a look at my little Hulkamania whenever we share a sauna, I'm just as sure that my 24-inch pythons and the Scott-Mon's giant Hulk Fists are ready to take you to the other side, Jack!
This gimmick is smelly.
ReplyDeleteWe're all pretty sick of the *real* Hogan, I don't know why this guy thinks we need a fake one too.
ReplyDelete"Gag" gift?
ReplyDeleteI get it!
so madden: scott as blood: jospeh park
ReplyDeleteI'm planning to upgrade my phone tomorrow and I'm down to choosing between the Galaxy S 4 and the iPhone 5. What specifically about the iPhone has you considering switching down the line? Note: I'm currently on Android.
ReplyDeleteDave Coulier isn't Canadian.
ReplyDeleteMan, when I used to write for 411mania, anytime I mentioned TNA, Evyl would be right there screaming in comments about my "obvious bias" and then claiming I had said things I never did like Monty Brown would have been the Hogan of TNA or such. And I thought ECW fans drank the Kool-Aid.
ReplyDeleteI really like the Samsung as well, don't get me wrong. I've been using a Galaxy S2X for a year now and it's great. With the iPhone I like that accessories are more plentiful and it's overall smoother and faster and just WORKS. I don't mind playing with buggy and cutting edge stuff that sometimes crashes (as with many Android apps that have to be made for a wide variety of phone specs) but sometimes it's nice to just download shit and have it run like it's supposed to. Both are very nice phones, though.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes it weirder is that I was reviewing TNA and trying to convince people to watch it for close to a year, and yet he still attacked me in IP's comments, this time on the other side of the fence.
ReplyDeleteI never got putting so much effort into somebody you hate, online or in real life. It just seems like too much wasted effort when you can be doing something fun or constructive. I guess Elvy considers doing this "fun" but that's pretty fucking sad. If I don't like somebody or hate them I just don't have anything to do with them. It's just so much easier that way. I have enough grief in my life that I don't need to actively seek out more. Elvy needs to realize this and go get some friends in real life and if he's able to get a girlfriend and stop obsessing over porn stars. That's just creepy.
ReplyDeleteRob Ford?
ReplyDeleteYou know what?
ReplyDeleteI think he has been signing me up for cialis/viagra websites...
The Informer? Good sir, he'll lick your boom boom down...
ReplyDeleteI thought some of my ardent admirers were bad, although they've all just about turned the corner now, but they're nothing compared to this Elvy character. I have no idea who he is, but man alive. I've been apart of a lot of fan culture online, and I swear that pro-wrestling has some of the most pathetic people on Earth at it's altar.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Some wrestling fans make the rest look really bad.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on that. This type of person is a sad person.
ReplyDeleteThis.
ReplyDeleteI think I know who you are and I read some of your columns at the other place. You did come off very biased and smarky against TNA. I have to admit that myself. Your writing reeked of WWE fanboyism at times from the small amount of stuff I read from you.
ReplyDeleteDamn. That's foul. That's worse than being signed up for gay dating sites!
ReplyDeleteElvy=Tony Clifton?
ReplyDeleteA douchebag friend of mine that the same thing to me. Total humiliation.
ReplyDeleteI prefer not to have my boom boom touched at all. LOL.
ReplyDeleteCut it out!
ReplyDeleteThis thread is awesome! Discussing things like turkey bacon, gay mags, Dave Coulier, iPhone, Snow and licking the boom boom.
ReplyDeleteWith mayonnaise...I am on cloud nine.
ReplyDeleteLighten up.
ReplyDeleteThe threads that go a little sideways are always good.
ReplyDeleteIt can't be ALL about wrestling.
Well goddam! Hyatte is alive and kicking (though he seems to be short on material these days) -- Can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner -- "Did you know where you were when Menudo broke up?" has to be some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time...
ReplyDeleteDon't forget about the gnarly Menudo question -- We should all go back and reflect on where we were when they broke up as it marked a cultural paradigm shift, or something...
ReplyDeleteOr the Sabres...
ReplyDeleteFuck Crapple.
ReplyDeletePork rinds are absolutely fucking disgusting.
ReplyDeleteyoure still really bad
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to Snow, you don't really have a choice in the matter.
ReplyDeleteSo you're saying I was "very" bad at one point, but I've been upgraded to "really"? That's improvement, baby! Before you know it, you'll make a post like "I can't believe I'm agreeing with you" and then soon it's "you've really improved, dig this review" and finally it's "Alright, dammit, I support Caliber"
ReplyDeleteI even turned Cultstatus, and he hated me. Sure, he'll deny enjoying my work, but I think he's just playing hard to get. Same with Dougie.
Yeah right! Like all of that comes from some wonderful, "magical" animal!
ReplyDeleteElvy, they have medication and professional help ya know.
ReplyDelete