Howdy Blog Otters, how is everyone's manic Monday going? Mine's pretttty swell, I'm typing this pre-'sure thing' date, and it got me to thinking about, well, how do you all going about seducing the fairer, or samer, sex?
Do you online date? Take to craigslist postings? tackle the icky-but-almost-assured-to-get-you-lucky world of fetlife? Consider this thread something along the lines of Free Masonry. A brotherhood of men helping other men, get women...or men
Thus:
What's your art of seduction, and what pointers can you give to the masses that you think most folks miss out on, and what are some definite red flags you've run into while attempting to get your proverbial rocks, off?
I have a couple of tried-and-true methods, mostly messaging ladies with the brightest smiles and being my typical dorky self, which tends to really kick-start the the engine of 30-something divorcee's, single mothers, and this one lawyer lady I was certain was either going to be the sexiest person I ever got with, or would kill me and take my kidneys.
My worst adventure involved a girl who wanted to be erotically cut, she literally presented the cutting implements to me like they were a secret ingredient in Iron Chef.
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Blog Otter Award: Jobber123 for his ability to drink veggie juice straight. You're a stronger man than I, sir. You award can be found below:
1. How far are we all in GTAV? I'm going to make the spoiler post and run a Review for Friday.
2. In case you want an idea of a surprisingly successful online dating profile, give mine a gander. If you give "A_Fun_SofaB" a google with Okcupid, you'll find me.
Do you online date? Take to craigslist postings? tackle the icky-but-almost-assured-to-get-you-lucky world of fetlife? Consider this thread something along the lines of Free Masonry. A brotherhood of men helping other men, get women...or men
Thus:
What's your art of seduction, and what pointers can you give to the masses that you think most folks miss out on, and what are some definite red flags you've run into while attempting to get your proverbial rocks, off?
I have a couple of tried-and-true methods, mostly messaging ladies with the brightest smiles and being my typical dorky self, which tends to really kick-start the the engine of 30-something divorcee's, single mothers, and this one lawyer lady I was certain was either going to be the sexiest person I ever got with, or would kill me and take my kidneys.
My worst adventure involved a girl who wanted to be erotically cut, she literally presented the cutting implements to me like they were a secret ingredient in Iron Chef.
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Blog Otter Award: Jobber123 for his ability to drink veggie juice straight. You're a stronger man than I, sir. You award can be found below:
1. How far are we all in GTAV? I'm going to make the spoiler post and run a Review for Friday.
2. In case you want an idea of a surprisingly successful online dating profile, give mine a gander. If you give "A_Fun_SofaB" a google with Okcupid, you'll find me.
Rufies, vodka, more rufies
ReplyDelete"Hey Mr Quagmire, can I have some rufies?"
ReplyDelete"Rape it forward Glen, Rape it forward."
ReplyDeleteRoofies.
ReplyDeleteBeing incredibly sexy
ReplyDeleteSeriously Meekin, ive always had the mindset on first dates as "just dont fuck up, and go for the kill on date two." I typically play it cool and try not to do anything offensive to piss her off. Its also a good time to study her for things that will help you close the deal later that night or the next date. Things like the way she communicates affection (there are 4 ways people do it and if you can match her method youll be able to connect with her), seductive touches on the lower back, etc. These little things combined with just playing it cool typically is the best way to go IMO. Then after sealing the deal they can see the real obnoxious Farva.
ReplyDeleteWhat about having a massive penis?
ReplyDeleteI try to be modest about such things...
ReplyDeleteJust when I thought this place couldn't get more pathetic and sad.
ReplyDeleteHow does yours compare to Jacob Goodnight's?
ReplyDeleteHow about good first date stories?
ReplyDeleteOh we can sink way lower I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteHaha I am aware. I'm not seeking advice for myself, I just think it'd be a cool little topic to exchange war stories, etc.
ReplyDeleteI know that was a Kane character and thats about it.
ReplyDeleteCmon dude that shit is fantastic. And you feel so good after you drink it.
ReplyDeleteHeres the question...will you be bringing condoms along? I always feel awkward doing this bc a) I feel its presumptive b) hate condoms.
ReplyDeleteOn the first date with my most recent ex we went to the movies. Apparently the mother of her ex-boyfriend worked there and they didn't get along. When she realized she might be there she calmly reached in her purse, pulled out a box cutter and said, "I'm gonna buck-fifty that bitch if I see her." Suffice to say I suddenly was in the mood to go to the boardwalk.
ReplyDeleteHa. I find that incredibly attractive for some reason.
ReplyDelete...why leave us hanging like that? Did you close?
ReplyDeleteI think its a good topic bc we all have 1 think in common: we like pussy.
ReplyDeleteYes. That is when I learned firsthand crazy chicks pussy = incredible pussy.
ReplyDeleteOr dick, I didn't want to be exclusionary.
ReplyDeleteIts a universal truth
ReplyDeleteI also learned don't let them know where you live, work or what you drive.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Well said.
ReplyDeleteScott, you have to check out the Greatest Rivalries one on Netflix currently. It's one talking head per rivalry and some of them are fairly surprising. No-one in the rivalry gets to talk about their own, so it's nothing from HHH or Foley about their stuff, but someone else from the outside... Road Dogg I think in this case.
ReplyDeleteThe best being the Flair/Steamboat talking head.
Am I crazy or is caddyshack the best comefy movie ever?
ReplyDeleteIts up there, way up there.
ReplyDeleteIt was one of those movies that were so good that you knew a remake would never live up to the original.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I was right.
As an English major/Creative Writing minor, I feel pretty valid in saying I have a way with words, which allows me to be creative with compliments. Everyone can say a girl is beautiful, but I go for something like, "We need to create new superlatives to describe how radiant you truly are." It sounds cheesy on paper, but words + a sincere delivery works like magic. It's like that episode of Friends where Joey introduces his How You Doin catchphrase and Phoebe's skeptical until he does it to her and reduces her to blushing.
ReplyDeletePlus, girls like it when you listen, which is good, because I prefer that to talking in any case.
Or real name if you can help it.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with the listening thing. They like it when their guy friends listen... but I have never seen someone convert listening into pantie removal...
ReplyDeleteIt's in the conversation, sure.
ReplyDelete"The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, 'A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.' He was a funny guy."
NANANANANANANANAAAAA
You're that Tim Robbins bastard from High Fidelity aren't you?
ReplyDeleteAgreed. It's one of these things where a lot of things you're told to do in the name of being a nice person, typically don't stoke the proverbial flames of passion.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just listening, it's listening and relating. And since I was a fundraiser-by-phone for seven years, listening and relating is my speci-AL-ity, as Young Obi-Wan would say.
ReplyDeleteThat's surprisingly an apt description.
ReplyDeleteI read "How to be a 3% Man" by Corey Wayne. In it he talks about when you go on a date with a woman you should be doing 80% of the talking and every response you give should be in the form of a question. I tried it once and it made me laugh because in the one case it worked.
ReplyDeleteI copied the Blues Brothers and gave her the address of an empty lot. (instead of Wrigley Field.)
ReplyDeleteThere's a good book by Jim Belushi that takes that concept and kind of relates it to the common man.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I think of Tim Robbins I think of Shallow Hal.
ReplyDeleteOff the top of my head I'd say
ReplyDelete1. Caddyshack.
2.Friday
3.naked gun
4.Manhattan
5.the jerk
Obviously I'm forgetting lots of shit but I think thats my list
LOVE the top 3. Im a huge sucker for Ben Stiller so would throw Meet the Parents amd Tropic Thunder in the mix.
ReplyDeleteI like Mel Brooks movies, so Blazing Saddles and History of the World were good too.
ReplyDeleteBTW, am I the only one who finds that movie underrated? People give it a lot of shit, but I like it.
ReplyDeleteJust get her to talk about herself the entire time on the first date. Let her go for as long as she can. Even if you didn't have a good time, she'll feel like it was the best date ever.
ReplyDeleteMy 6-10 would have both those. Also the only play I've ever gone to see in new york was the producers. I love a lot of Mel brooks.
ReplyDeleteCertain movies are like that. Whenever I Robot comes on I could stop what I'm going to watch it, but some people say it sucks.
ReplyDeleteI once went on a date with this chick I met when I was in med school. She was 24 in like sophmore undergrad, which I thought was weird, but she was smoking hot and seemed cool.
ReplyDeleteLiterally 10 minutes after dinner she pulls me into the bathroom, busts out a small bag of blow and goes "I just got AIDS tested so am good to go" as we hit the booger sugar. I didnt really know how to proceed after this.
Mine would have Dumb and Dumber in there.
ReplyDeleteTropic thunder is fucking great. I love stiller. I think royal tennanbaum-might be #6. Stiller has been in so much great shit though. Heavyweights is seriously underrated btw
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, Joe gets points for the outro music... Has there ever been a better "bad" entrance theme than "I'm The Mountie?" (not counting "We're Not the Mounties," of course)
ReplyDelete*taps out*
ReplyDeleteYou win.
I hope it was GRADE A, 100% PURE COLOMBIAN COCAINE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DISCO SHIT
ReplyDeleteLebowski is my #1. 90% of the dialogue makes me giggle like a Japanese schoolgirl.
ReplyDeleteWe need Caliber to come back an answer this. He can bed any chick he wants, you know.
ReplyDeleteIt was so weird, I didnt have a rubber and did I really want to proceed without one with this chick who was clearly sleeping around with numerous guys?
ReplyDeleteI thought about mentioning that, but didn't want to be "That guy" thanks for grabbing the ball and running with it for me!
ReplyDelete"And still addicted to them hoodrats..."
ReplyDeleteShe was the poster child for high risk.. All she needed was the hypodermic needle sticking out of her arm that she got from her bisexual boyfriend Thad.
ReplyDeleteHa. Yea it is. Shit like Dodgeball and Zoolander aernt great movies but are great for laughs.
ReplyDeleteIf his name is something other than Thad there is nothing to worry about?
ReplyDeleteI'll get a bunch of downvotes and "let it go" responses, but what I said was not out of malice. It was literally just the first thing I thought of.
ReplyDelete"Not every cab I get in is a clean one but they still get me where I need to go."
ReplyDeleteNah, you should be cool.
ReplyDeleteYeah that's a classic. Also gotta give it up for lady killers, hudsucker proxy, Fargo... fuck it just put Coen bros anything in top 5 list of films
ReplyDeleteYou left your question unanswered. My money is on that you still hit it.
ReplyDeleteI like Caliber but jokes made at anothers expense takes priority.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I read that in the voice of the principal from American Dad?
ReplyDeleteSame... but I knew I would get the response you describe. Way to not give in to the peer pressure.
ReplyDeleteMy art of seduction? Rohypnol.
ReplyDeleteThey still make me laugh every time. Also super troopers has to be in there somewhere
ReplyDeleteDude, CW's "I can get any woman I want" is a BoD meme that's still funny. Fuck the haters.
ReplyDeletesheainee'enknowit...
ReplyDeleteHa. Yea, it wasnt worth it though as I was really nervous about the repercussions after the drugs booz wore off
ReplyDeleteMy recollection is that DiBiase came out for a while to "Born in the USA" and later came out to "Bad Reputation." I believe the new Mr. Wrestling II ended up being former WWF star Hercules.
ReplyDeleteHA!
ReplyDeleteSexually inexperienced girls are up there. My longtime gf was one of those "sex is icky" girls growing up (she was from a super strict family and was pretty asexual until we became friends) but eventually our relationship got to the point where she wanted to take the plunge (heyo!) and after that, it was like Pandora's Box (heyo!). She was insatiable, and it was great; she would be up for anything (almost too much anything: she initially brought up the idea for a threesome, but I turned it down because it was of the 2 Guys 1 Girl Triple Threat variety).
ReplyDeleteSadly, she became too insatiable and our six-year relationship (and nine-year friendship) ended when she cheated on me. But still, that was a great relationship stretch with no complaints on the sex front of any kind. Best example I've had of "lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed".
You know what I'll say zoolander > old school, and I say easily!
ReplyDeleteeh, we're men, repercussions are things you worry about later. That's how we are. Who hasn't been at a bar or club, getting drunk, hitting on chicks and having a bad night. While the night gets later, your standards get lower and you finally bag a chick that's maybe a 4 or 5 (and fat) when sober and you basically tell your brain, "I'll worry about it AFTER I fuck her".
ReplyDeleteFuck no!
ReplyDeleteI'll back you on that one.
ReplyDeleteThe bisexual girl I dated was like that. Just fucking insatiable. Sex all the time..and sometimes it was with me.
ReplyDeleteGreat so smart-its-dumb comedy.
ReplyDeleteYou're only downvoting because you're jealous of my rapier wit.
ReplyDeleteFRIEND ZONE DOES NOT EXIST
ReplyDeleteThere's a Rodney Dangerfield joke there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteWhat are "Things Glen Quagmire would say" for $1000?
ReplyDeletej/k
*tugs on tie*
ReplyDeleteWhere does The Hangover fit in? Top 10?
ReplyDeleteThere's a Rodney Dangerfield Joke for everything.
ReplyDeleteI've seen it as a first-hand witness...and it's brutal. I think he drank the whole bar that night when she told him, "I love you so much...but not like that."
ReplyDeleteI saw it in the theatre when it came out and I laughed my ass off. I've seen it several times since and it feels to romcomish
ReplyDeleteThat is waaaaay too much work. Props to you for having that kind of patience.
ReplyDeleteYes, we all have one think.
ReplyDeleteThose words are like a shotgun blast to the heart. I have a story for tomorrow already.
ReplyDeleteOld school? There is some romcomish (as you put it) weaved in, but the laughs pack a serious punch. It's essentially the modern day Animal House, just not as good.
ReplyDeleteI would take an example of how to relate versus how to listen. Is it asking questions about their expierence, or relating it to something you've done? Because I've always found when someone tells me something, I'll relate it to something I've done, then I feel sort of like a "mememememememe" show.
ReplyDeleteIT DOES NOT EXIST
ReplyDeleteFor sure, nearly breaks the limit of quotability.
ReplyDeleteI've got super troopers, blazing saddles, tennabaums, cb4, and maybe don't be a menace filling out 6-10. I think its bumped
ReplyDeleteOkay, you're mad crazy about a girl, you're great friends, but she doesn't feel the same way toward you. What do you call that?
ReplyDeleteIt does, but you can get out of it.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I am not proud of it but I find married women/women in a relationship to be the easiest to pull.
ReplyDeleteMore often than not women are bored/unhappy/sick of their man... it is pretty easy to pick up on if you pay attention. From there you just need to be "Opposite" of the other guy... whatever he does you don't do and vice versa; eventually she will come crying to you when they have a fight or something because you "get" her... then it just takes a couple of well timed "Forgive me for saying so, but you really don't deserve to be treated like this... you are an intelligent, charming, beautiful person, and if I had a woman like you I'd never (thing she is upset about)" you should be in there at that point. It helps if you make friends with the guy as well that way he isn't constantly on the defensive when you are around or when your name comes up.
Some may frown on this type of behavior and I understand why... but honestly if she is willing to screw around just because of a fight/down cycle in the relationship it is probably never going to last anyway and you are doing everyone a favor (him, her, your wang)... this worked for me when I was single on numerous occasions.
I'm guessing this isn't going to be well received here...
The Royal Tennenbaums is teetering on drama. Great movie, but not an outright comedy. You know what doesn't get nearly enough mentions as a brilliant dark comedy? Bad Santa.
ReplyDeleteHer not being attracted to.
ReplyDeleteYea :P
ReplyDeleteYour entire post reminded me of the adventures of George Costanza, lol.
ReplyDelete...and it turned out to be the one and only magic johnson
ReplyDeleteMost women know whether they're going to have sex with you or not within the first 10 minutes that they meet you. Sometimes, you can pull them to your side if you're "that" friend for years. Otherwise, it's already been written on the stone tablets.
ReplyDeleteCocaine is a helluva drug.
ReplyDeleteWas never really a Seinfeld guy... explain?
ReplyDeleteA better example is you've been going out with a chick for awhile you think things are cool and THEN she hits you with the" You're such a good friend." speech over and over again.
ReplyDeletehttp://kesseljunkie.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/phantom_zone.jpg
It's a delicate balancing act. That's always a tricky line to include yourself without making everything she says all about you, yet it's also a good way to give insight about yourself without her resorting to "So tell me about yourself." It depends on the girl and the conversation, some girls want to have control of the topic and others want you to divulge about yourself. It's hard to put into words, I chalk it up back to my fundraising experience, and being trained and having a sense of what verbal buttons to press to get the emotional response I want.
ReplyDeleteThe drama was all a joke though. Plus danny glover fell through a man hole. But I do love bad Santa. That's a fucked up comedy. Soooooo underrated
ReplyDeleteLet's see how well I remember:
ReplyDelete1. In one episode, he wore a fake wedding ring to get women. He thought women were more attracted to guys that are married (true actually).
2. In another episode, he did everything opposite of his instinct, including going up to a super hot chick and telling her what a loser he is.
3. He tried to hook up with Marissa Tomei while married (or was he engaged at this point?) because she liked short fat men.
They're not directly linked to what you were saying exactly, but it reminded me of something Costanza would do.
I actually agree and disagree. It exists, but it isn't inescapable. Eventually, if you're smart about it, you'll be the guy she trusts enough to fuck between shitty relationships.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is when you care too much you get stuck there. The dude that doesn't give a fuck is the one she sleeps with. The less you care the higher % you'll bang her.
ReplyDeleteIf you're trying to be that guy you are an awful person.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your date Meekin, just remember condoms are for losers...its putting a latex bag on your dick. Avoid unless you see cold sores.
ReplyDelete#kidding
The funniest part of Bad Santa were all the families in attendance when I saw it at the theater. Fucking hilarious movie too, and IIRC Billy Bob was legit drunk through most of it.
ReplyDeleteYour memory is correct. There's that one shot where he's passed out coming up the escalator that he was completely wasted. Confirmed by the director and Billy Bob himself.
ReplyDeleteHere is an opinion from a guy who had exhausted all resources locally, so resorted to the internet to meet his woman:
ReplyDelete1. Lie your ass off.
That is all. You're welcome.
Gotcha.
ReplyDeleteI should add that another upside to already committed women is that they usually aren't interested in "You" exactly but that you represent the "not him" thing so you never have to worry about getting tied down or dealing with the nonsense that comes attached to pussy that we all hate... I have had numerous times where I would wear out some guys woman... then have her have to leave because he and she had to go to some family function or a play or some shit... Its good stuff... until you get sick of it and want something permanent yourself.
Chris Rock has a bit where he says you have to lie because nobody is going to love you for you. You aren't going to find someone else that loves Seinfeld and The Wu Tang Clan!
ReplyDeleteYour post reminded me of that...
I was going to say that I love how this new series of QOTD are essentially trolling the guy. =) And this is from someone who likes Cal.
ReplyDeleteAs great as Caddyshack is, I've got to give some love to "Easy Money". Dangerfield was at his absolute sleazy-hilarious best.
ReplyDeleteNobody intends to be that guy.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I haven't had to navigate any of this in about 15 years, so I could be wrong I guess.
Having been with my boyfriend for almost 16 years (November is our anniversary), I don't really go after anyone anymore, although we don't keep our relationship 100% closed. We do have a couple of long time friends we mess around with in 3 or 4-ways on occasion, and rarely we may add someone new to the mix.
ReplyDeleteI do have a Fetlife presence, but I don't really use it to find folks for sex, it is a great place though to share stories, porn, and get ideas to use in ones own sex life. It's also fun to find someone you know irl on Fetlife and discover what they are into.
There's a fine line with that one. If the woman is married, and the husband is a detached, heartless douchebag...you might be okay. If he is a saint, and she is just a whore, then I'm not sure you want to be part of that fallout.
ReplyDeleteIt's very different in the gay world. I work in Miami Beach and some of my colleagues are gay and they can basically have sex every night of the week if they choose to. Since we're talking men and the hormones we carry, I don't think you have to put in the same amount of work to get some as us straight dudes. :-)
ReplyDeleteI wish women thought like men. We'd have a much more liberated society, sexually speaking.
In college, I dated a girl who was a vegan, and had a strict rule where she would not date a non-vegan. I decided immediately that I was going to lie to this girl, tell her I did not eat meat or poultry or anything that had a fucking shadow, while ordering burgers and fries from the drive-thru after dropping her off home at night. After a few weeks of getting nowhere, nudity-wise, I crack under the pressure, order a fucking steak at dinner, and she gets mad, tells me to take her home. "After I finish my fucking steak", I said. She walked.
ReplyDeletefor christs sake, just fucking stop already with these stupid qotd's focusing on love, sex, dating, relationships, and all related bulslhit
ReplyDeletei come here to escape my problems, not have them fucking thrown back in my face
I get your point... but that second combo is pretty unlikely... and even if it is he is likely too much of a pussy to try and fight you AND will likely forgive her for being such a whore because he "loves her".
ReplyDeleteMr. Loser, honestly I made this post, maybe a bit, with you in mind. I'm trying to help us all fair better with the fairer sex. Perhaps we can lend you a hand. Lay it on us brother, what are your hangups.
ReplyDeleteI know I have been on lockdown too long when I have know idea what fetlife is... and being at work am afraid to google...
ReplyDeleteI'd like to point out I am continuously intensely jealous of gay men - or the stereotype of them - fashionable, personable, pretty much capable of macking it all the time, anytime, etc.
ReplyDeleteThere's an app for it for chrisssakes! Grindr!
\thread
ReplyDeleteDo not google.
ReplyDeleteI had to look it up too. It's a bondage, S&M and fetish community.
ReplyDeleteHeh, well I don't fit the fashionable part, but I guess I am personable, and could easily mack it all the time if I wished to.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of dudes who operate to be that guy.
ReplyDeleteIt's a kink facebook pretty much.
ReplyDeleteSee! So not fair!
ReplyDeleteI had a similiar situation with a girl who raised chickens for show competitions, which is apparently a thing. She made me choose between her and eating chicken.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't a choice, really.
I'm having trouble finding WWE stuff on Netflix. Searching WWE gives about 10 choices (the ones starting with "WWE" naturally) but then the recommendations afterwards list stuff like the new Mankind one or the Randy Orton one which don't come up in that list. Is it just a limitation of the Netflix app on PS3 I wonder?
ReplyDeleteI absolutely lied to my current girlfriend when we first met about being into environmental concerns. Like 100% bullshitted her. The first time she was at my house she saw me throw a beer bottle in my garbage and noticed that 1) I only had one container to throw shit it in and 2) I threw a glassbottle in the garbage. I quickly lied my way out of it, and ironically enough ended up becoming some what of a environmentalist just by educating myself enough on the issues to lie like I knew/cared.
ReplyDeleteLOVE Bad Santa! "You know, I think I've turned a corner...I beat the shit out of some kids today."
ReplyDeleteSay something flattering about her looks. She laughs, feigns embarrassment, says "stop", means 'keep the compliments coming'. At that point hit her with this gem: "No, but seriously I find you attractive to the extent that I would absolutely be willing to perform intercourse with you were such an opportunity to avail itself." Nod and flash a winning smile. The rest is a formality.
ReplyDeleteAss Man is a strong number two.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I honestly believe that if something were to happen to Mrs. Stranger, and I found myself back on the market, I would totally avoid women who were adamant or militant about their social concerns. If I were to make a list of pros and cons, "Socially conscious" makes the cons list at #3, losing out to "Don't be a dude" and "shower regularly".
ReplyDeleteAll yu have to do is listen.
ReplyDeleteOR...
In Germany, be African-American. Its fucking in the bag once you open your mouth.
If you're a Jew, it's fucking in the oven
ReplyDeleteThe dutch oven?
ReplyDeleteI posted this in the Raw Thread a while back, but I really, as a joke, want to walk up to a woman with index cards with bad pick up lines written on them, and read them slowly to her.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I think that would garner a huge laugh.
Otherwise, I just do my usual. I start off with a goofy line and go from there. If she's a teacher, doctor, or lawyer, it's in the bag already. Just this past Friday I picked up a doctor after accusing her of stealing my friend's drink. She replied that she put roofies in my drink, right after I sipped from it. Mind you, I didn't think she was that attractive, but we were making out by the end of the night.
We went out for drinks last night, turns out I had reverse beer goggles on or something, because she looked amazing (turns out when I had met her, she had just come from a salsa dancing lesson).
I dunno, a few days ago I elbowed the wife awake and said "hey, let me fuck you."
ReplyDeleteIt worked!
Romance~!!
Deutch oven.
ReplyDeleteThis guy.
ReplyDeleteThat's so money. BEARD Money.
ReplyDeleteHigh five for wives! No pick up lines...no expensive dinners...hell, you could have BBQ sauce on your shirt ALL DAY LONG, and at the end of the day, if she has needs, you're right there. You don't even need seemingly endless foreplay. Don't forget the fist bump before you roll over for sleep.
ReplyDeleteStill too much work. Some days my gf just blows me while I'm asleep.
ReplyDeleteIn my dating days I never really had much in the way of game plans. I have a personailty that puts off some girls (sometimes strongly!), but more than a few are really attacted to (I don't know why either, but it's worked out well.)
ReplyDeleteI would always just throw myself out there, wait for a bite, and then if I liked her I'd do the usual bullshit of look at her mouth while she talks, smile, ask her to elaborate about herself, drop subtle compliments, be witty ("witty"), etc.
I guess the only tip that I have is to be confident, but don't take it too far into cocky territory.
And don't be too picky either. I know guys that neeeeever get laid and it's at least partly because they have some ludicrously complex checklist that needs to be met. I'm not saying jump on anything that moves, either, but there's a huge middle ground, and variety is the spice of life as they say.
C Dub. Westsiiiiiide!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat's icky about Fetlife?
ReplyDeleteMeh. After the hundredth or so time, is it really worth going out of your way to get some?
ReplyDeleteHey now, I'll cop to pathetic, but I'm NOT sad, you take that back!
ReplyDeleteYou're killing it on this thread. It's like I think it and you post it.
ReplyDeleteIt doe the same thing on the Roku and on the Xbox
ReplyDeleteHolländische Backofen!
ReplyDeleteGame gear > super gameboy
ReplyDeleteHi scott. Its best to search the online library on your computer using a browser...At www.Netflix.com. otherwise you only get the 10 choices if your using a roku like device to search and watch.
ReplyDeleteI was so upset having to go through a miz talking head, especially that he got the rock-austin rivalry. UGH. No big names in it really, so that was upsetting. Seeing Vinnie Ru in their docs is still surreal, as is Shane Douglas.
ReplyDeleteHA. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteSorry, that's just my personal opinion. If you're into BDSM and bondage and that sort of thing, more power to you, but every time I see a girl who's wrapped ropes around her breasts, or takes photos of the huge welts on her ass, in the name of pleasure, I get a little woozy.
ReplyDeleteHa. Flair said it in regards to another comment but this reminds me of something Costanza would say.
ReplyDeleteBlade Runners came out to a Styx song believe it or not. It was castle walls or something. They only used the beginning.
ReplyDeleteYou have to remember some stuff just doesn't hold up. Mr. Wrestling II was really good in the ring back then. He was also quite a bit older which is part of the reason he wore the mask in the first place.
MSW really was probably the best in ring product of the day. Some holds up well and some doesn't. I enjoy watching the territory stuff because I grew up on it, but I can definitley understand if you are younger not liking it as it is much different than today's wrestling.
I've enjoyed the set very much, there is just some stuff that's just eye-rolly. I like the whole 'face gets suspended, mysterious new-comer under a mask comes in, wink-wink' angle. But this seemed like they were trying to make the crowd really believe that Stagger Lee and JYD were two different people. There's just some cornball stuff thrown in with the Well Dunn angles.
ReplyDeleteI love that George actually calls Marissa again after Susan dies, and she hangs up no him after he mentions going on a date after Susan's funeral.
ReplyDeleteLol well for starters, a roadblock would be letting anyone found out you went to a website and posted the question "Howdy Blog Otters, how is everyone's manic Monday going? Mine's pretttty
ReplyDeleteswell, I'm typing this pre-'sure thing' date, and it got me to thinking
about, well, how do you all going about seducing the fairer, or samer,
sex?" Lol
Insanity.
ReplyDeleteI had a date end on the set of a Harrison Ford movie.
ReplyDeleteYoure going to need to elaborate on this. How did it happen? What movie? Did you meet Harrison?
ReplyDeleteOf course she does
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'm trolling anyone. I apologize if it appears that way. I know I've covered similar ground to my predecessor, but that's more because I'm not sure what he covered, and not because I think I can do it better.
ReplyDeleteOh no, sorry. I should have been more careful with my phrasing. I didn't think anything of you covering this ground, I meant more that you covered some topics that were begging for a Caliber run-in.
ReplyDeleteNever leave!!!
Yeah the militant nature of those sorts of things are what makes them so hard to champion. YES I care about your cause, but I'm not so binary to think that if someone doesn't 100 percent agree with me, they're the enemy. Sometimes people need dialog.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually interviewing some folks who are boycotting GTAV because of violence toward animals in that game, so we'll see how that turns out.
1. It's a blog. 2. That's TWO questions 3. You cut out the part where I said I was getting hella laid, 4. Yeah probably.
ReplyDeleteJust seemed odd to call that icky right after name dropping Craigslist of all things.
ReplyDeletehaha well Craigslist is icky in the wow I'm about to have sex with a girl who grows facial hair, kind of way, where as Fet Life tends to be icky in the I-understand-lots-of-people-like-this-but-you-lost-me-at-nipple-clamps-and-'fur'-families sort of way
ReplyDeleteOkay.
ReplyDeleteIf you're at all familiar with the Philly area, we met up at Morgan's Pier a new deck bar that had opened on the Delaware River, with an amazing view of the Ben Franklin Bridge. Basically, I open a tab, give the bartender my card, we have a few drinks, go dance for an hour, then leave the bar. We walk to Olde City, grab a slice, then remember that I left my card at the bar.
We eat pizza, then I proceed to walk her home, which I now realize is in Rittenhouse Square, a good 15 blocks from the bar. After a couple of blocks, she tries to convince me to go back and get my card before the bar closes, I say no, I'll make sure she gets home ok first. We get to her place, in which that movie Paranoia is filming right in front of her house.
We kiss each other goodnight, and I proceed to RUN back to the bar to get my card.
We dated for about four months after that.
I find that very attractive. I take no interest in anything important so I respect those who do.
ReplyDeleteI've killed poor old chop 50 ways by now
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure there is at least one black German kid over there that looks like my brother.
ReplyDeletey...yea....yeah? Yeah!
ReplyDeleteScott, I'll happily buy a copy of the Mid South blu ray for you. It's remarkable. I also think you should set up an Amazon wish list for us to buy stuff for you.
ReplyDeleteI still find it odd when the RNR don't come out to Rock and Roll Is King.
ReplyDeleteMale/female relations give us great fodder to dissect. It's real to me, dammit!
ReplyDeleteAlways bring condoms.
ReplyDeleteIts better to have one and not have sex, then about to have sex and not have sex.
Bullshit.
ReplyDeleteIve gotten plenty of pussy by NOT TALKING.
Or saying very little.
Great story, but I got one.,
ReplyDeleteIm in my dorm room about 3 days before I leave for Germany and a chick walks in my room. I was on a big NES kick that whole summer so i would play my games with the door open and people would come in sit and drink and play with me.
Its like 10pm and im playing with the door cracked and she knocks and walks in. She closes the door behind her and sits on my bed. I restart SMB3 and we start playing after she dies once she turns to me and says.
"I hate rumors... so when I fuck you, you cant tell anyone because you will be gone."
Game. Paused.
Proceeded to smash