When last we
left our heroes, they were given a gift in the form of a large handicap match
against the Shield. Four men won the
match, but only one stood tall in Daniel Bryan.
Yet SmackDown revealed that all is not in their corner in WWE. Randy Orton has already put Miz on the shelf,
and it’s clear that, whatever management feels about anyone, the road to the
title goes through him. We’re six days
away from Battleground, so let’s see where they go from here!
Our
commercial talks about the debut of Los Matadores and the McMahons meeting with
the Rhodeses.
- The PG Era
Rant for Monday Night Raw, September 30, 2013.
- Live from…
wait, the commercial wouldn’t say?
- Your hosts
are the usual suspects.
- And in a
change of pace, we’ll open with CM Punk.
They’ve busted out the pink ropes for October, even though October
begins tomorrow. Commentary emphasizes
that Punk knew he was going to regret his attack and didn’t care. Punk talks about the unpredictability of Raw,
but last week’s obvious turn of events was not unexpected – and that’s
okay. But the predictability extends to
the end of the story, which is Punk taking everyone out one by one. (A small chant starts up, and Punk encourages
it to get louder.) The only question is:
when does Punk take out Heyman? That
part isn’t predictable. It could be
tonight, next week, Sunday… but he prefers tonight. CM Punk wants a fight with someone in the
Dangerous Alliance (no, that’s not their name), and whatever the history books
say about wins and losses, Heyman will be DONE.
This brings out Brad Maddox, who looks nervous about the potential of
the fight. Punk: “You don’t even get
music?” Maddox sympathizes with Punk,
but it can’t be RIGHT NOW because it’s not Best For Business™. Can’t he wait until Sunday? But Maddox IS the GM of Raw, so Punk will
have a match… but Punk doesn’t want to hear from authority and demands an
outlet. This brings out… Big E
Langston? Langston says he’s the man,
and the ambush is on. Langston works
over Punk in the corner until a blind charge hits the post. Maddox separates everyone and calls for a ref
to come down as we go to break.
- CM Punk v.
Big E Langston. Joined in progress as
Langston misses Punk on the outside and hits the post. Punk with roundhouse kicks as he throws
Langston back in, going up top and landing a bodypress for one. Spinning back kick by Punk, and he teases
GTS, but Langston shoves out and catches Punk with a modified Rock Bottom for
two. Running splash to the back follows
for two. Langston to the single-leg
crab, but we’re not in Boston so he fights out.
Punk stands up to get out and uses chops and kicks, but runs into a
Vader crush for two. Langston carries
Punk, but gets rolled up for one only to recover with a belly-to-belly suplex
for two. Punk fights to his feet and
tries to build momentum, but runs into a fireman’s carry only to escape with a
standing roundhouse for two. Punk up
first and goes for GTS, but Langston is too big and delivers a short-arm
clothesline for two. Another running splash
misses, as does the ensuing avalanche, allowing Punk the chance at a
comeback. Spinning neckbreaker puts Punk
in control, and he waits for Langston to be up in the corner to deliver the
knee into a short-arm clothesline. Up
top, the Savage Elbow connects. It’s
sleep time, and despite precedent of Langston being too big it connects for the
pin at 5:58 shown. If this is the setup
for Langston to be the next Heyman Guy, that would be great foreshadowing. But my understanding from my NXT fans is that
Langston has great face charisma he hasn’t tapped yet, which makes me wonder
why they don’t run with it. Or, for that
matter, with anything. Not that I’m
complaining too loudly, since the match served its purpose and showed that
Punk, even though he’s hurt, will be able to go against Ryback. *3/4
- Later
tonight, Orton and Bryan are face-to-face, while the Rhodes Family will meet
with the McMahons.
- Help me
out, experts: does being the most socially active TV show actually mean something?
- Fandango
v. Kofi Kingston. So which is worse:
Fandango as the male Shakira, or Summer Rae as Mrs. Fandango? Honestly, JBL’s kinda lost his fastball
because he’s too busy playing the heel on commentary. JBL: “Fandango is like Usher crossed with
Randy Couture.” Lawler: “You mean, like
if they had a baby?” Me: “CAN I UNHEAR
THAT?” Fandango starts with a knee to
the gut and controls with a headlock, but Kingston pushes off only to get
shoulder tackled. Kofi with the blind
leapfrog into a back elbow, followed by a twisting rana. Fandango FLIPS Kofi with a forearm shiver for
two. Fandango with a pair of short-arm
clotheslines and a suplex, floating over for two. Fandango HITS THE CHINLOCK. Kofi fights out and connects with a backflip
DDT to get the crowd’s attention (some were trying to chant for Lawler). Chops to the chest and a big dropkick follow,
but he gets lifted into the top buckle on a charge. Fandango up, but Kofi meets him only to get
headbutted down. Now Fandango realizes
he can’t hit the legdrop, so he jumps down and charges, only to eat post and
get hit with Trouble in Paradise for the Kofi win at 3:02. But before anyone gets too excited, the
satellite link is hijacked and it’s Wyatt Family time. Kofi takes advantage of the long entrance to
grab a chair and wait for the Wyatts.
Bray, though, cuts a promo and talks about the wicked games and why bad
things happen to good people (like himself).
The nightmare never ended for Bray, so now he’s going to spread the
nightmare to everyone else. There’s no
confrontation as we go to break. It was
a very hot start, but Fandango needed a chinlock? In a 3-minute match? With one of the most athletic men on the
roster? 1/4*
- Your
kickoff match will be Dolph Ziggler v. Damien Sandow. Okay then.
- Meanwhile,
Brie is so happy about being #1 Contender against AJ, but Randy Orton breaks up
the happyfest with her sister to talk about Brie’s engagement. The sisters give Orton the silent treatment,
so Orton makes it clear: they’d better get married this week or Bryan will be
sharing his nuptials in a wheelchair.
Evil Orton rules.
- Elsewhere,
Renee Young interviews Paul Heyman for a rebuttal of CM Punk. Heyman says it’s too bad that Punk has gone
into insanity and obsession with Heyman.
But CM Punk can’t intimidate Paul Heyman because he realized Punk is
just Heyman’s creation. The two together
were the best in the world. Young points
out that the Alliance is hiding off-camera and asks if it’s a trap. Heyman BEING HERE is a trap for CM Punk
because of how spiteful Heyman is.
Heyman has a big occasion tonight, and he basically DARES Punk to do
something about it.
- OLE! OLE!
OLE! OLE! OLE!
What, you thought you were done with over the top vignettes?
- Los
Matadores v. Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal.
Los Matadores are “Fernando” and “Diego”, with “El Torito” by their
side. They do an elaborate entrance,
with a few passes of El Torito. Torito
jumps all over the place in the ring, ending on their shoulders. “Diego” is the shorter one, so I think he’s
Primo. Fernando (yes, that’s clearly
Epico) will start with a baffled Mahal, getting a very high snapmare into a
deep armdrag. He ducks under a
clothesline into a rana. Diego in off of
a monkey flip, and Slater tags in, though he doesn’t know what to make of the
guy either. Diego with a legsweep into a
headscissors, and Fernando back in as they get a double back drop with a ton of
theatrics in the whip. Slater rushes
Fernando into the corner, and Mahal with the double-team. Knee smash gets him control, and a suplex
gets one. Mahal drops a series of knees
and chokes Fernando before bringing in Slater for a kneedrop for two. Slater goes straight to the chinlock as the
crowd gets bored. Slater with a slam,
but he’s caught with a tilt-a-whirl-headscissors off of a headstand by
Fernando. Hot tag Diego, who gets a
series of Flying Jalapenos and a diving standing headbutt. Slater gets hit with the old Scot Drop for
the pin at 4:02. Too much offense for
3MB – this needed to be a squash. El
Torito does more bouncing off the ropes to entertain. 1/2*
- HHH and
Stephanie are out next. Announcers have to remind everyone that Dustin
Rhodes is Goldust, as though we couldn’t figure it out on our own. Bonus points because if you know Latin, HHH’s
TitanTron is awesome. No preliminaries
as the Rhodeses are invited down right away.
For those who care about this sort of thing, yes, Goldust is in face
paint and a suit. Cole (recapping Dusty’s
Choice): “Choose which one of your jobs gets their son back.” Stephanie lays on the fake niceness, but the
Rhodeses aren’t very happy. HHH reminds
us all how many “chances” he’s given the family, but they failed at every
opportunity. And Dusty was selfish and
made it about himself. So one MORE
chance for the Rhodeses. Stephanie notes
that Dusty is an NXT trainer and has a chance to mold the future. So here’s the deal: Cody will get his job
back, as will Dustin, assuming that they beat Rollins and Reigns on
Sunday. HOWEVER, should they lose, they
will never work in this company again AND Dusty will be fired. Dusty has something to say about that. He gets right in HHH’s face – and tries to
block Stephanie’s – and he asks for one extra twist: that he be in the Rhodes’
corner. It’s agreed to. Stephanie tells him to be careful what he
wishes for. I’m ready for a Shield
run-in, but none is evident. Well, no
Shield MUSIC is evident, but they jump in out of nowhere and do a beatdown,
with Dusty getting a chair to save only to get cut off. Cody tackles everyone as much as possible
(Reigns took Goldust out with a spear to start this fracas), but it’s not
enough and Cody eats Triple Bomb.
Reigns: “GET USED TO THIS!” Rollins
sees Dusty rolling to Cody and stomps him, just to be a proper villain. Everyone gets over in this segment! Everyone wins! I approve!
- R-Truth v.
Curtis Axel. Truth’s timing is off on
his rap. JBL calls himself a
rapper. Yeah. Axel with an armdrag to start and he taunts
Truth. Truth does some dancing to fire
the crowd up, and some trash talk ensues that leads to Axel getting his hard in
the mouth. They lock up (finally), and
Truth flips Axel with some kicks to the calf.
Axel stalls for time, but Truth follows in and gets the ten-punch
countalong... cut off at three as Axel drops him on the ropes and takes
over. Axel kicks Truth in the gut and
punches away. Truth fires off to get
separation but runs into a dropkick for two.
Axel goes right to the chinlock (crowd chants for R-Truth, so wherever
we are, they’re into him), but Axel cuts off the comeback. Blind charge hits the boot, and Truth gets a
European Uppercut and clotheslines.
Suplex into a stunner gets two.
Dropkick airballs on Axel… and here’s Punk’s music! Axel and Heyman freak out, but we all know
what happens next, right? Yup, Truth
takes advantage, and the Little Jimmy ends it at 4:24. Heyman gets an “I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE”
look on his face, as he seems a little too busy being impressed to be mad. For the record, I wish to join Scott in
saying that finish is really dumb and gets nobody over and needs to be retired
now. DUD
- THIS JUST
IN! Trish Stratus is a mom! Maximus Fisico born at 8 pounds 3
ounces. My friends are already trying to
come up with silly WWE names for him.
- We recap
the relationship of Daniel and Brie with Total Divas footage. Okay, so maybe the show has a point after
all.
- Brie Bella
v. Alicia Fox. Alicia works the arm to
start, but Brie backflips out of it into a fireman’s carry and armbar. Alicia pulls the hair to get a rope break and
offers a handshake, but kicks Brie out of the ring. Back in, she chokes Brie while taunting Nikki
as AJ and Tamina watch on a monitor.
Alicia with a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Alicia with a facejam for two, and she gets
the neck-scissors while commentary yells at each other about who’s supposed to
call the match. A bizarre Rocker Dropper
variant gets two for Fox, and we HIT THE CHINLOCK. Brie elbows out and gets a clothesline much
like Bryan’s, following with a dropkick and running knee. Fox bails out and cheapshots Brie, then
smacks Brie in the back of the head.
Back suplex is flipped out of, and Brie with the facejam to win at
3:20. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling by
Divas standards. 3/4*
- Backstage,
Curtis Axel is upset, and Heyman yells at him.
Heyman’s not worried about the one-upsmanship that Punk is doing because
there is no topping Heyman in mind games.
Ryback says to give him what he wants.
Heyman dismisses Ryback for the time being and explains to Axel how
awesome Ryback has made Heyman’s life.
And he’s going to propose to Ryback.
Really.
- Renee
Young is with Big Show. They recap Show
being THIS CLOSE to losing his mind.
Show is frustrated that he’s broke, and people say being a man means
doing the right thing, but that’s easy when your livelihood isn’t on the
line. He calls his current situation the
lesser of two evils. He loathes what he’s
being asked to do, but he’s done it because the alternative is something he can’t
handle. He’s so upset about the Dusty
situation he can’t even look Dusty in the eye.
He’s this close to snapping. The
self-loathing continues as he makes it clear he’s MAD AS HELL AND HE’S NOT
GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! Once he finds
HHH, he’s going to let him have it. It’s
KNOCKOUT TIME when he finds HHH. The
hunt is on.
- Backstage,
Truth is lobbying for an Intercontinental Title shot, but Maddox is
reluctant. Big Show storms into the
office and screams for HHH, choking Maddox until he finds out. Maddox doesn’t know, so Show sends Maddox to
find him and bring him.
- Zack Ryder
v. Alberto Del Rio. For those who don’t
watch SmackDown, ADR and RVD are facing off in a Hardcore Match on Sunday. Ryder backs ADR into the corner, but ADR gets
a break and kicks away. Ryder is knocked
over, but gets hiptossed and promptly goes to the ropes to stall. ADR reverses a whip, but misses a blind
charge and Ryder gets a flapjack and clotheslines ADR out. Ryder dives out, but ADR avoids him and
throws him into the barricade. Back in,
it gets two. ADR with La De A Caballo,
into a chinlock, but Ryder fights out and gets a sunset flip for one. ADR follows with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker
and jumping stomp, and back to his chinlock.
Announcers are focused on Big Show.
Ryder counters a backdrop attempt with a facejam and rests in the
corner, knocking ADR aside and going up with a missile dropkick. Corner forearm and Broski Boot follow,
getting two. Ruff Ryder is called for,
but ADR throws Ryder over the top and gets a German suplex hold for two. ADR jumps on Ryder’s back, literally, and jams
the arm on the ropes, following with the armbreaker for the tapout at
4:07. They gave Ryder quite a bit of
offense that you wouldn’t expect, given he got a “jobber entrance” in this
match. Maybe they’re seeing if he’s got
staying power after he was part of the Revolution. *1/4
- They’re
recapping the Shield attack on the Rhodes Family, and I have to say, Dustin’s
double-take when he realizes that they’re not alone is really good.
- Polite applause
for the breast cancer survivors. Good
for them.
- Okay, here’s
Heyman and Ryback. This is gonna be…
interesting. Heyman begins by reminding
us he beat CM Punk before going into political science. He says you can’t put down insurgents in
their own soul, which is why it hurt to go against theory and quell CM Punk in
Chicago. This is all stalling for time,
mind you, until we get to the punchline, so we recap the ambush from last
week. And yeah, Punk is a man on a
mission, but when Heyman’s face is the mission, it needs to be stopped… and
that’s where Ryback comes in. Ryback
takes the mic and re-iterates how much he hates bullies. It’s clear Punk should’ve been more grateful
to Heyman, but he wasn’t, and that made Ryback angry. Ryback makes it clear there’s nothing he
wouldn’t do for Heyman… and now the proposal.
Heyman talks about how he doesn’t want to be stigmatized in the usual relationship
and credits Ryback for making him feel happier than ever. He wants to feel great for the rest of his
life. Crowd chant: “GET A ROOM!” Heyman talks about mutual understanding and
sacrifice, and how he talked about it to his children, in sickness and in
health, from opening match to main event, as Ryback looks very confused. I hope.
Heyman does indeed drop to one knee (as the crowd freaks out), Heyman: “Ryback…
will you… (several pauses)… Ryback, will you become a Paul Heyman Guy?” Note from the WWE: Gotcha. Before we get an answer, Punk’s music hits
again. But again, no Punk appears. Heyman looks around to find Punk, who leaps
over the barricade and crumples with a bad knee. Heyman and Ryback are trying to decide what’s
going on as we focus on an injured Punk.
If this is a setup, Heyman isn’t biting.
Punk pulls himself to the apron, but can’t stay on it. The doctor checks on Punk, and that causes
Heyman to come to the apron to figure it out… and at that moment, Punk pulls a
kendo stick out from under the ring and whacks Heyman, Ryback, and Axel as the
deception FINALLY did enough to work.
Axel is left hung out to dry as Ryback and Heyman scatter. Several dozen kendo shots later, Axel gets
hit with GTS, with Punk using the leg he pretended was hurt to balance on. The cat and mouse is really nice, because
both sides know the other is smarter than average, so it’s seeing who’s going
to fall for what.
- Big Show
has found HHH’s office and is pacing back and forth as we go to break.
- The Shield
v. The Usos and Dolph Ziggler. As a
reminder, these are the other three
guys who survived last week alongside Daniel Bryan. Dolph and Ambrose will start, as they have
the issue. Ambrose gets the advantage on
a lockup and beats down Dolph before raking his eyes on the ropes. Dolph with a vault and dropkick for one as
the crowd chants for Ziggler. Rollins in
after Ambrose pounds down Ziggler, but Dolph with a hiptoss and Jimmy is
in. Running diving headbutt gets
one. Jey in, and he gets a crossbody off
a Jimmy whip for one. Jey works the arm,
but Rollins punches out and in comes Ambrose.
A heart slap keeps control, and a snapmare brings Rollins in to keep Jey
as face in peril. Forearms to the back
of Jey and Rollins tags Ambrose back in.
Jimmy gets a blind tag and dropkicks Jey over onto both men, and all
three men team up to remove the Shield.
The Usos with a double plancha as we go to break. We return with Rollins working over Jimmy
with a chinlock. Jimmy blocks and
reverses a suplex on Rollins, but Ambrose is in to cut off the hot tag. Ambrose stomps on Jimmy’s hand and gets some
crossface blows and a sleeper. Crowd
REALLY wants Ziggler. Jimmy fights out,
but runs into a back elbow from Ambrose, into a Power Drive elbow as Reigns
comes in. Reigns imitates Ziggler’s
elbow for two, and we go back to the chinlock.
Rollins taunts Uso with the camera nearby in a nice touch. Jimmy fights out, but Reigns gets Nodowa
Otoshi for two. Jimmy cuts off a Reigns charge and low bridges him to the
outside. But it’s not enough, as Reigns
cuts off the hot tag only to get superkicked.
Crowd is INTO this. Rollins
knocks Jimmy off the apron, but Jey backdrops Rollins and Dolph gets the hot
tag, taking it to Ambrose right away.
Ten punch express follows, into a neckbreaker. The ten-elbow countalong only reaches three
before he intercepts a flying Rollins with a dropkick. Ambrose rolls Dolph up with the tights for
two. Dolph with a Rocker Dropper for
two, Reigns saves. Uso sends Reigns out,
but Ambrose cuts off the flight only to get dumped. Rollins was tagged in and gets an enzuigiri
on Jey, but Dolph gets the Zig Zag only for Reigns to spear him cold for the
pin at 12:04. That was a very hot finish. ***
I hadn’t even noticed that Reigns was tagged in because the action was so fast.
- Okay, so
Big Show is impatiently in HHH’s office… and maybe he shouldn’t have tipped his
hand, because someone called the cops on Big Show. Stephanie intervenes and stops an arrest by
pleading Show’s case and says there’s no need for any intervention because Show
is under so much stress and is having a bad life. Then she adds an aside that Show’s wife is
disappointed with him. Man, that whole
thing was just COLD. I don’t even blame
Big Show for crying this time. But Show
sees a poster for HHH’s DVD on the wall and puts his fist through it
instead. The poster AND the wall.
- Backstage,
we interview Rob Van Dam. Pink for his
shirt doesn’t work. RVD says he’d rather
not talk about his hardcore expertise, so CUE THE YOUTUBE VIDEO instead. RVD says that Del Rio has a mean streak, but
he doesn’t understand hardcore, which RVD does, and that’ll be the difference
on Sunday. The universal word for
Hardcore is ROB – VAN – DAM!
- SmackDown
main event: Big Show v. Shield.
- Santino
Marella v. Antonio Cesaro. Ah, Zeb
Colter finally reveals where we are: Mississippi. WE THE PEOPLE! I want to see Great Khali try to
powerwalk. If the Giant Swing doesn’t
appear in WWE 2K14, they’ve totally missed out.
Santino with a headlock, which he controls off of a whip attempt. Cesaro no-sells a shoulderblock from Santino,
but walks into a judo throw. Cesaro
reverses with a European Uppercut. He
adds another one in the corner and stomps away, following up with a slam and
Sullivan stomp for one. Into the corner,
but Santino slides out and misses a rollup.
GIANT SWING OF DOOM is teased, but Santino kicks away from it and cues
the comeback. Cobra appears, but Cesaro
goes low, and the GIANT SWING OF DOOM connects for 26 rotations. Santino collapses as he tries to get up, and
the Cobra is disposed of. Judo throw is
blocked, so Santino shifts his weight and cradles Cesaro for the pin at
2:49. Just a comedy match. *1/4
One of these days they may realize what they have in We The People and push
them, but this is not that day.
- Main Event
Interview: Jerry Lawler will moderate.
Lawler mentions Total Divas coming back, and you can see two guys in the
front row in CM Punk shirts, behind his left arm, facepalm in unison. Someone needs to screencap that. I’m serious.
It happened. There are some
fangirls in the crowd who didn’t get the memo that Randy Orton is the bad guy
now. Lawler reminds both parties that
they don’t want any fighting in this confrontation, guaranteeing there will be
fighting. Lawler mentions the vacancy of
the WWE Title, and it causes Orton to say he was upset he didn’t get the belt
back. But that motivated and inspired
him to be a predator. It made him go
from good guy to company man to soulless human.
He talks about ruining Miz in Cleveland and hearing his mom ask for
mercy. Orton guarantees victory because
of his genetic superiority and Bryan is a small man. Bryan’s response is to mock Orton’s monotone
and overly memorized style. You wanna
call attention to that?? Bryan says
Orton needed to be motivated because of the money HHH will make… or maybe, it’s
because Orton was coasting and needed the motivation. And Bryan never needed motivation to reach
full potential. That’s why he’ll win on
Sunday. YES! YES!
Orton: “NO! NO! SHUT UP!”
Crowd just chants louder. It’s
old-school and it works. Orton mocks the
crowd. He says that, wow, Daniel’s
marrying Brie (and what’s wrong with Brie that she has to settle, anyway?), but
none of that makes him a champion. Orton
promises that one day Brie will wake up with regret. Orton: “She’s sleeping with a barnyard animal”—and
that cues the attack. Bryan sends Orton
to the outside. He pounds away by the
barricade, but Orton reverses and sends Bryan into the stairs. Orton goes ground and pound on the outside
before sending Bryan into the post twice.
Orton then pulls Bryan’s shoulder into the post over and over. Orton drops Bryan on the barricade – right in
front of Sign Guy, for those who care – and keeps pounding away. He drags Bryan out of the timekeeper’s area
and sets up the Draping DDT from apron to floor, but Brie comes out to
beg. In a mirror of 2009, Orton doesn’t
care and delivers the DDT anyway. Orton
leaves, statement made, and Brie checks on Daniel. But wait, Orton isn’t done, glaring at Brie
as he returns to stand over Bryan. Time
to destroy the table. Brie: “STOP!” Orton: “STOP?
You want me to STOP??” And an
evil grin. Bryan is put on the announce
table, and it’s an RKO right through it.
Brie begs for mercy as Orton just smiles at her. There’s a vocal Randy chant from some
fans. Orton finally walks away as Brie
checks on Bryan to end the show.
FINAL
THOUGHTS:
First thing to
note: not much wrestling in this show.
Normally, I’m a fan of good matches and these talk-heavy segments don’t
do it for me. However, the segments were
more or less leading to fighting, and in my mind they were compelling
enough. All the same, the first hour and
a half wasn’t any fun.
Seriously,
where are they going with Fandango? Was
he out there to get Kofi a win? Was the
whole match an excuse to get the Wyatt family out? Further, why did 3MB get any offense against
a debuting team? It should have been a
squash, honestly. And JBL, as good as he
is at unbiased commentary, is absolutely hard to swallow as a heel commentator,
yelling at his two co-workers and taking away from the match (to the point
where, during the Divas match, Cole and Lawler finally got sick of it and told
him he was on his own).
But these
were First Hour issues. The big stories –
Shield/Rhodes, Orton/Bryan, Punk/Ryback – are built very well, with the top mic
guys working the mic and the top fighters fighting. They’re using everyone’s strengths here in
those stories, and the end result is the fans are loving everyone in it – even Orton. Battleground looks to have 6 matches on it –
five announced and one likely to be added – and hopefully, every match will get
lots of airtime as a result. The best
part is that I have no idea how the big matches will turn out, as the story
could easily continue with any of multiple endings. That’s a good time.
HOW I’D BOOK
IT:
With
apologies to the former WWE Creative Man, allow me:
* On the
pre-show, Dolph Ziggler beats Damien Sandow.
* AJ Lee
retains against Brie Bella.
* In an
added match, Curtis Axel retains against R-Truth.
* Big Show
knocks out Cody Rhodes in the tag match, but does so in front of the referee,
allowing the Rhodes Family to win by DQ.
(And yes, he will have done this on purpose.)
* Alberto Del
Rio retains against Rob Van Dam, putting him on the shelf until the Royal
Rumble and allowing Rey Mysterio to return and step in.
* CM Punk
pins Ryback, but gets jumped by newest Heyman Guy Big E Langston, forcing
Maddox to make Punk/Heyman for Hell in a Cell.
* Randy
Orton and Daniel Bryan go to a no-contest, meaning it must be settled inside
the Cell.
Yeah, I
know, ending on a non-finish will be unpopular, but right now, the advance
booking forces them to do it. There’s no
way they’ll have Bryan win, because that would end Orton as the top contender
right away. And an Orton win, while
feasible, seems like it would be used as an excuse by HHH (in-character, mind
you) as a reason to keep Bryan out of the title picture. But Hell in a Cell is next, and this feud
needs it. So we need a way to get there,
and this is it.
STATS:
MATCH TIME:
39:46 over eight matches
BEST MATCH:
The Shield six-man
WORST MATCH:
Truth/Axel
NIGHT MVP
(kayfabe): Well, if you beat a champ, you get the honor, so R-Truth
FINAL SCORE:
6. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the
story segments in the ring more than made up for it. All three of them were great at getting their
stories over.
That’s it
for me. Agree or disagree in the comment
section. Tommy will be in on Friday, and
I’ll see you with a post-PPV recap, as I examine the booking and see if I think
the right decisions were made. Have fun!