But...John Cena! Isn't John Cena supposed to guarantee hordes of children ready to drag their parents to shows and buy all the wristbands and keep Vince swimming in money?!
I went to the show myself and I wouldn't say it was far from full. Perhaps 75% full. There were few empty seats shattered around here and there but nothing pitiful. The top right section of the arena was closed off.
I went to Smackdown! earlier this year, it was the episode where Del Rio won the world title from Big Show and where The Rock came out. THAT show, a fucking nothing tv show, was sold out. Proves that The Rock was good for the WWE.
I thought for sure after his Bob costas interview where he explained undressing with children and then-showering nude with them was just a part of sports culture he was a lock for the Wheaties box. Guess I got that one wrong.
i was there live for this show (which also had batista's awesome heel turn)
the match wasn't bad live, though all the stuff with the pyro required a bit more suspension of disbelief. the match was manageable for me at least since i went in with the mindset of just sitting back and (no pun intended) let them tell their story and see where it went
same thing for the hhh/benoit iron man match we had in '04, though i was much more excited and invested in that match. it carried more of the wrestling element, while the cena/orton match was definitely more angle/storytelling
I was called a misogynist and a tprincess white knight in the same npp thread so let me say kudos to tprincess for a very funny post title and pile on with some misogyny also.
He seems to be pretty good as a condescending dick. Maybe that can be his gimmick, that he's a condescending dick who can back it up. Nah, let's have him be yet another dumb musclehead under Heyman's control.
You're not gonna turn into one of those serial killers that shoot women that look like your ex-wife are you? Because I have to get me, "He was the quiet type" speech ready for the media interview.
You know, I actually thought the I Quit match and Hell in a Cell match between these two were quite good. They weren't going to give any work-rate fiends hardons or anything, but they told good stories, had some creative stuff, and for those two first matches it honestly did feel like a big-match atmosphere.
This blow-off match did a lot to bring down the whole feud. If they had crammed most of this into a 30 minute match, it probably would have been great too. But the pacing was dreadful, they couldn't decide what story they wanted to tell (was this two equals going at it, was it Orton sinking to new viscious lows to finally put Cena away and Cena overcoming, was it Orton running and trying to get out by the skin of his teeth.... oh, it was ALL those things one after the other. Great.)
That said, I do have one thing that I really liked about this match. Kofi and Legacy had been kinda feuding for a month or so... not really feuding, just annoying each other mostly, but it was escalating right as they were heading into this PPV. So it made perfect sense for Kofi, who had gotten a beating from Cody and Ted, to interfere and drive them away from ring-side. That act gave Orton perfect motivation to segue from obsessing over Cena and the title and onto something new.
It reminded me a lot of how Xpac ran into Fully Loaded 99 to interfere with the Undertaker... not because he particularly cared about Stone Cold winning, but because the Undertaker - in addition to feuding with Austin at Fully Loaded - had also started a storyline with Kane on the side heading into that PPV*. It was a nice, fleeting memory of what WWE was like when all the storylines and characters intersected, and their interactions outside the key feud could come to bear.
*The Corporate Ministry had basically dissolved after King of The Ring 99. Undertaker asked Kane to return to the fold and work with him. Kane said no, he'd rather be with Xpac. Undertaker disliked this answer...but instead of going after Kane in anger, he decided to just take it out on Xpac every other week between feuding with Austin, while Big Show was keeping Kane busy at the time (after a terrible KOTR match but a NASTY chairshot started a feud between the two.... which Hardcore Holly somehow got involved in, because he considered himself a 'super heavyweight' and felt deserving of inclusion). So at Fully Loaded 99, you had the intersection of the various feuds. After Big Show beat Kane with assistance from special ref Holly, Xpac came down to try and even the odds... and then Undertaker came down, and he and Big Show beat the crap out of everybody, forming a tag team. So in one night, you had the logical end of one feud (Austin/Undertaker), the logical creation of a new issue (Xpac costs Undertaker the title in retaliation) combination of two feuds (Kane/Xpac vs Undertaker/Big Show) which left the main event scene open for the next feud HHH/Austin (HHH beat Rocky in a #1 contenders match earlier that night)....
....shit, just writing that makes me miss how everything in WWE used to feel so important connected.
Wasn't the I Quit match basically Cena torture porn? I really didn't like that match. Orton did all of these "terrible" things and then basically gave up in about 2.3 seconds and Cena didn't really beat him up or anything.
There was Orton beating down on Cena, there was extended periods of Orton running away and killing time, there were periods where there was actually good back and forth action with them cutting off each other's momentum. There was just no coherent story to the match at all.
I didn't mind the STF at the end of the match, because CENA had it on for like a minute and a half, and it was basically a 'can Orton hang on just long enough to beat the clock?' So it wasn't a super-quick tap out, it made Orton look pretty good in that fall for holding out so long.
I understand people being tired of seeing Cen and Orton wrestle simply because they've done it so often over the years, but they actually do have good chemistry, IMO.
It's an incredibly frustrating match. For most of it's length, its brilliant. They do a lot of creative stuff with the stipulation and Orton is so good at playing the methodical sociopath, and as you mentioned, even the comeback is different; but then that quick, wrap-it-up ending..... Tack on about 5-10 minutes of Cena beating the shit out of Orton before locking on the STFU smack in the middle of the ring and you'd have had a classic. Cest la' vie.
Were 3 masturbation references really necessary?
ReplyDeleteThey werent even funny masturbation references. GAWD!
ReplyDeleteIt was 4:30 in the morning. That's where my mind goes at 4:30 in the morning
ReplyDelete;)
I was fine with the first one but I just gave up with the second one.
ReplyDeleteRyback loves him some making fun of fans
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/Ryback22
"@butterfliegirl13 words for ya sweetums. Salad no croutons
This is tremendous stuff
ReplyDeleteBut...John Cena! Isn't John Cena supposed to guarantee hordes of children ready to drag their parents to shows and buy all the wristbands and keep Vince swimming in money?!
ReplyDeleteI went to the show myself and I wouldn't say it was far from full. Perhaps 75% full. There were few empty seats shattered around here and there but nothing pitiful. The top right section of the arena was closed off.
ReplyDeleteI went to Smackdown! earlier this year, it was the episode where Del Rio won the world title from Big Show and where The Rock came out. THAT show, a fucking nothing tv show, was sold out. Proves that The Rock was good for the WWE.
Jerking off at a wrestling show feels a little too sanduskyish for my tastes.
ReplyDeleteFootball reference? That's not really my wheelhouse...
ReplyDeleteit wasn't that bad
ReplyDeleteWell he was a football coach but I'd say all his fame really came from being the patron saint of child molesters.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't seem like a title one should aim for
ReplyDeleteOr..*parallax1978 voice*
ReplyDeleteSo what your saying is you'd be molesting children when you jizzed at a wwe show.
I don't think its worked out especially well for him.
ReplyDeleteNot exactly appearing on any Wheaties boxes?
ReplyDeleteAnyone that calls me a misogynist in the future please refer back to this post... GIRLS ARE MEAN!!!
ReplyDeleteI thought for sure after his Bob costas interview where he explained undressing with children and then-showering nude with them was just a part of sports culture he was a lock for the Wheaties box. Guess I got that one wrong.
ReplyDeleteinb4 Unification Rematch requests.
ReplyDeletei was there live for this show (which also had batista's awesome heel turn)
ReplyDeletethe match wasn't bad live, though all the stuff with the pyro required a bit more suspension of disbelief. the match was manageable for me at least since i went in with the mindset of just sitting back and (no pun intended) let them tell their story and see where it went
same thing for the hhh/benoit iron man match we had in '04, though i was much more excited and invested in that match. it carried more of the wrestling element, while the cena/orton match was definitely more angle/storytelling
Girl seems so juvenile. I prefer something between a chick and a broad.
ReplyDeletei've always like 'slore' for when i'm feeling really bitter
ReplyDeleteGirls are mean(t to jizz on)
ReplyDeleteFtfy
I was called a misogynist and a tprincess white knight in the same npp thread so let me say kudos to tprincess for a very funny post title and pile on with some misogyny also.
If I was a girl I'd go back and forth on gash or slit as the most offensive thing I could be called.
ReplyDeleteStop trolling us!!!
ReplyDelete"You ungrateful bastards will watch it and like it because it's what's good for business."
ReplyDeleteHA! Awesome.
I think this whole A+ Match of the Day can be a running gag. And I promise some of the matches will be awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy only complaint? Match wasn't long enough.
ReplyDeleteI chuckled. Would have been funnier if it was one of those terrible 14 minute promos between the two.
ReplyDeleteNeeded HHH running down and interfering.
ReplyDeleteHe seems to be pretty good as a condescending dick. Maybe that can be his gimmick, that he's a condescending dick who can back it up. Nah, let's have him be yet another dumb musclehead under Heyman's control.
ReplyDeleteYou're not gonna turn into one of those serial killers that shoot women that look like your ex-wife are you? Because I have to get me, "He was the quiet type" speech ready for the media interview.
ReplyDeleteNeeded a 45-minute overtime to really settle the matter.
ReplyDeleteI love it.. Ryback is the Don Rickles of the WWE. #BeABully
ReplyDeleteLol... I think everyone is safe... I'm not going to belike Matt hardy either...this will sadly provide you with little entertainment value.
ReplyDeletePfffft. I'm starting my own running gag then.
ReplyDeleteIntroducing my 1st ever "D- Match of the day".
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4e7bp_al-snow-vs-big-boss-man-unforgiven_sport
Threadjack: No matter how good this kid on the right will be, he will never be signed by WWE.
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/mivL6vL.jpg
I support this. Raja Lion vs Giant Baba next, please.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, he's got that killer instinct.
ReplyDeleteSo good.
ReplyDeleteIs the guy on the right an atrophied Matt Hoffman?
ReplyDeleteI dunno. Is 'brick' really that flattering?
ReplyDeleteWhy would they sign the kid from 'Lord of the Rings' to a contract?
ReplyDeleteIf only there was a way he could bulk up quickly.
ReplyDeleteIn the past I've tried to watch this match a second time, and once it got to the pyro spot I remember why I didn't take it seriously the first time.
ReplyDeleteNot a bad match by any means, just kind of....there.
You know, I actually thought the I Quit match and Hell in a Cell match between these two were quite good. They weren't going to give any work-rate fiends hardons or anything, but they told good stories, had some creative stuff, and for those two first matches it honestly did feel like a big-match atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteThis blow-off match did a lot to bring down the whole feud. If they had crammed most of this into a 30 minute match, it probably would have been great too. But the pacing was dreadful, they couldn't decide what story they wanted to tell (was this two equals going at it, was it Orton sinking to new viscious lows to finally put Cena away and Cena overcoming, was it Orton running and trying to get out by the skin of his teeth.... oh, it was ALL those things one after the other. Great.)
That said, I do have one thing that I really liked about this match. Kofi and Legacy had been kinda feuding for a month or so... not really feuding, just annoying each other mostly, but it was escalating right as they were heading into this PPV. So it made perfect sense for Kofi, who had gotten a beating from Cody and Ted, to interfere and drive them away from ring-side. That act gave Orton perfect motivation to segue from obsessing over Cena and the title and onto something new.
It reminded me a lot of how Xpac ran into Fully Loaded 99 to interfere with the Undertaker... not because he particularly cared about Stone Cold winning, but because the Undertaker - in addition to feuding with Austin at Fully Loaded - had also started a storyline with Kane on the side heading into that PPV*. It was a nice, fleeting memory of what WWE was like when all the storylines and characters intersected, and their interactions outside the key feud could come to bear.
*The Corporate Ministry had basically dissolved after King of The Ring 99. Undertaker asked Kane to return to the fold and work with him. Kane said no, he'd rather be with Xpac. Undertaker disliked this answer...but instead of going after Kane in anger, he decided to just take it out on Xpac every other week between feuding with Austin, while Big Show was keeping Kane busy at the time (after a terrible KOTR match but a NASTY chairshot started a feud between the two.... which Hardcore Holly somehow got involved in, because he considered himself a 'super heavyweight' and felt deserving of inclusion). So at Fully Loaded 99, you had the intersection of the various feuds. After Big Show beat Kane with assistance from special ref Holly, Xpac came down to try and even the odds... and then Undertaker came down, and he and Big Show beat the crap out of everybody, forming a tag team. So in one night, you had the logical end of one feud (Austin/Undertaker), the logical creation of a new issue (Xpac costs Undertaker the title in retaliation) combination of two feuds (Kane/Xpac vs Undertaker/Big Show) which left the main event scene open for the next feud HHH/Austin (HHH beat Rocky in a #1 contenders match earlier that night)....
....shit, just writing that makes me miss how everything in WWE used to feel so important connected.
Is this someone I should recognize? Like couldn't I just pull a picture of any random dude and say WWE will never sign him?
ReplyDeleteReally, you don't see it?
ReplyDeleteNo I really don't
ReplyDeleteThat is Benoit's son. He is training to be a wrestler.
ReplyDeleteWasn't the I Quit match basically Cena torture porn? I really didn't like that match. Orton did all of these "terrible" things and then basically gave up in about 2.3 seconds and Cena didn't really beat him up or anything.
ReplyDeleteBEST FOR BUSINESS is still a better meme to have than EVERYTHING IS FINE.
ReplyDeleteYou like chroad?
ReplyDeleteIt was all over the place.
ReplyDeleteThere was Orton beating down on Cena, there was extended periods of Orton running away and killing time, there were periods where there was actually good back and forth action with them cutting off each other's momentum. There was just no coherent story to the match at all.
I didn't mind the STF at the end of the match, because CENA had it on for like a minute and a half, and it was basically a 'can Orton hang on just long enough to beat the clock?' So it wasn't a super-quick tap out, it made Orton look pretty good in that fall for holding out so long.
Good description of WWE Main Event Style (TM) in general, actually. Plenty of 3-4 star matches...all of them forgettable.
ReplyDeleteIf ANYBODY should know enough to stay away from wrestling...
ReplyDeleteI understand people being tired of seeing Cen and Orton wrestle simply because they've done it so often over the years, but they actually do have good chemistry, IMO.
ReplyDeleteIt's an incredibly frustrating match. For most of it's length, its brilliant. They do a lot of creative stuff with the stipulation and Orton is so good at playing the methodical sociopath, and as you mentioned, even the comeback is different; but then that quick, wrap-it-up ending.....
ReplyDeleteTack on about 5-10 minutes of Cena beating the shit out of Orton before locking on the STFU smack in the middle of the ring and you'd have had a classic.
Cest la' vie.
It was pretty much unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteNeeded HHH as the special referee.
ReplyDeleteHere's me thinking it was the skinny chap from Road Trip.
ReplyDelete