PG WEEK: A Very Raw Christmas 2013

Yes, folks, it's PG Week here on Scott's Blog of Doom. With Scott on vacation all week, he's handed the keys to me (I volunteered). Every day from today to December 30^th, I'll be providing you with new content: recaps, retro rants, audience participation, everything. Sit back, relax, and enjoy, as we open PG Week with a look at a Very Raw Christmas! Welcome aboard!

When last we left our heroes, they had come within inches of the brass ring. Although in a non-title match, the proof remained that Daniel Bryan could hang with the best of the best... and were it not for a DQ, he would've won. But the show ended with Orton standing tall over not just Bryan, but John Cena. With Christmas around the corner, who will enter the holidays with something to cheer for, and can it be us?

The USA Network ad focuses on the Santa Fight. The allegedly live look-in does as well.

The PG Era Rant for Raw, aired December 23, 2013.

Almost Live from Stone Cold Steve, TX.  This will be important later.

Your hosts are Ebenezer Scrooge and Hermie the Elf. Herr Drosselmeyer has the night off.

Mark “Good Santa” Henry and Damien “Bad Santa” Sandow read Twas the Raw Before Christmas.

And what would Christmas be without HHH opening the show? He's joined by Stephanie McMahon, Kane, and an elf. Kane is handing out candy canes to the aiselway fans. He even shoves it into the chest of a Daniel Bryan “fan”. HHH talks about what a special time of year it is, and he says they've sent Superstars to volunteer. But Stephanie makes it clear they would rather be here in the WWE. They wish us a Merry Christmas with a great show. And yes, they ham up the Santa Fight, complete with ominous music. Stephanie: “YAY!” Also, we'll get Rhodeses/Bryan v. Wyatts in a 6-man tag. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! With our MAIN EVENT ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY, it's Langston/Cena/Punk v. Shield. I get the feeling we'll be light on angle advancement tonight. HHH wishes us a Merry Christmas... and just as I'm looking forward to a short segment, here comes Randy Orton. Did I mention Stephanie and HHH are wearing Santa hats? Stephanie looks girl-next-door cute in hers. Orton wishes us a Happy Holidays, and the crowd doesn't buy it. Orton thanks the Authority for their support in his quest to be WWE World Champion. And yeah, he won on his own, but they inspired him. Orton's in a giving mood, so he's going to give the Authority a Christmas gift. But what do you give to the McMahon who has everything? Himself. Really. Orton assumes he has the night off, and we get a group hug. But Kane has something to say: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. And he punctuates it by setting the corners on fire. Welcome to the WWE.

Tonight, six-on-six women's action in a Jingle Belles match. JoJo is missing from the Total Divas side, which makes it look like she's in trouble.

It's PG Week on the Blog of Doom, and I will use this time to announce that on Saturday, I will do a recap of NBC's Tribute to the Troops!

Natalya, Eva Marie, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Cameron, and Naomi v. Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Kaitlyn, Summer Rae, and Tamina Snuka. Manthief is at commentary. For the record, AJ isn't in it because she's the champ and she's scouting. Tamina slams Nikki to start, only to get a tilt-a-whirl. Kaitlyn jumps in and misses a charge, but catches Eva Marie and slams her down. Summer Rae walks into a knee smash, and enter Naomi with a snapmare. She misses a dropkick, but Summer Rae knocks her down and Alicia Fox enters only to get caught with a rana. Enter Cameron, and the Funks have a double suplex and bootylicious legdrop combo. Brie gets caught in a Northern Lights suplex for two. And here comes Vickie to slap Brie and leave. Yup. Aksana in, and Brie cradles her for two. Natalya enters next as AJ mocks every single Diva. Nice. A rollup gets one, but Aksana kicks Natalya and does a DDT/elbow drop combo for two. And now everybody races in for on reason. This allows Natalya to get a discus clothesline USING BRIE, then it turns into CRACKING THE WHIP on all the heels. This may well be the best and worst comedy spot ever. Having knocked them all down, the Total Divas take a bow. Everybody leaves, and Natalya gets the Sharpshooter for the tapout at 3:49. AJ: “Yay! Natalya finally won something! Good for her!” Last I checked, Natalya has a winning record in decisions against AJ. The Total Divas do a not-so-coordinated dance to celebrate. Eh, it's Christmas. 3/4* Of note: Michael Cole wasn't paying close enough attention during the match and accidentally called Summer Rae “Rosa Mendes”. He then covered for it by saying it was because he wanted to use Feliz Navidad. AJ rightly let him have it for that mistake.

Your Do You Know is about Santa. Hey, if you're gonna go theme, go all-out.

Curtis Axel v. Sin Cara. The transformation is complete: Hunico is the Sin Cara in Sin Cara's TitanTron. Sin Cara does the Superstars promo bilingually. Axel gets a headlock to start, twisting to an armlock and a slap to the back. Round Two, and Sin Cara returns the favor and does an armdrag. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors follows, but Axel trips Cara on a quebrada attempt. Axel shoulderblocks Cara to the floor and follows, throwing him into the post back-first. Back in, Axel with an elbowdrop and front facelock as JBL keeps saying Cara has something to hide. After all, masks mean bad people, right? Cara fights to his feet but gets slugged down as Cole namedrops Vampiro Americano. Cara with a bizarre pinning combo for one. Axel with a dropkick for one. Axel facewashes Cara and taunts the crowd before going back to the gutwrench. JBL endorses child labor on commentary (I think) as Cara fights back up only to get slugged down. A series of reversals sends Axel to the ground, and Cara follows with a somersault plancha. Back in, Cara with a bodypress for two. Another headscissors, and Cara does the Tajiri elbowsmash for two. Axel with a Northern Lariat to avoid the finish and get a two-count. Cara with the Angle Slam and he goes up, and the Senton Bomb ends it at 5:22. *1/4 On a related note, I think Cole and JBL have had eggnog before recording commentary.

We recap last Friday's 3-on-2 handicap match, which sets up tonight's six-man. Speaking of, here on PG Week on the Blog, on Friday I will review one of my favorite SmackDowns – the Mexico SmackDown, featuring Lucha De Apuesta and a shockingly good Show/ADR match!

Backstage, we replay Bad Santa's announcement that he wishes to cancel Christmas. Because tonight, we have a Battle for Christmas.

Next week's Raw is being hosted by Big Show as Baby New Year. I mean, at least it's not Ken Jeong in the back of a trunk, but on the disturbing meter, it's up there, right?

Batista is due back: 1/20/14!

Earlier today, Bad News Barrett was working for the Salvation Army. No, it's not a setup for a joke. It's just Wade doing good things.

We look back at the Wyatt Family torturing Daniel Bryan. It's a collection of crazy things Bray said, following up with the notes that Bray and Bryan could work together and be stronger than ever. We follow this up with Bryan fighting all three Wyatts but falling. Then, on SmackDown, the Rhodes Brothers lost to the Wyatt Family with help from Bray, after which they tortured Cody some until Daniel Bryan stormed in to make the save. Then, the Wyatts used their numbers to take Bryan out of the main event. It appears Wyatt has finished trying to recruit Bryan and will now destroy him instead.

Rhodes Brothers and Daniel Bryan v. Wyatt Family. Goldust has a new shirt. Crowd opens by chanting for Bryan. Wyatt's shirt has seven tick marks on it. Cody and Rowan start. Sign guy sign: “IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU'RE NOT A WYATT”. Rowan pounds down Cody to start, but a blind charge hits boot and Cody dropkicks the knee. The Rhodeses double-team and get one off of it. Rowan powers Goldust into the corner, but Goldust wins a slugfest and they put him in the corner. Bryan tags in and kicks away, adding knees until Rowan shoves him away. Cody tags himself in, and he and Goldust double-team Rowan. Goldust with a headlock, but he's in the wrong corner and Harper tags in. A long eyerake follows, and Harper bashes Goldust in the corner. A blind charge is two steps slow, and Goldust uppercuts Harper but can't snapmare him. He lifts his boot so Cody can tag it, and Cody takes over on Harper with a dropkick. Bryan in, and he gets kicked repeatedly in the legs. Harper stops it with a right hand and works him over in the corner. A big boot is once again slow, and Bryan puts Harper in the Tree of Woe and begins kicking like crazy, ending with a baseball slide. Bryan demands Bray, and he gets the crowd to encourage it, but Harper stays the legal man as we go to break. When we return, Rowan drops an elbow on Cody for one. Cole informs us Bray and Bryan didn't face off. Harper tags in and taunts Goldust before hitting a charging elbow on Cody. Harper with the Gator Roll as Cody is busted open from the elbow. Harper with a headbutt, but Cody steals Ted DiBiase's follow-on lariat to knock over Harper. Goldust in, and he bowls Harper over and nails the kneeling uppercut and inverted atomic drop. Ten-punch countalong follows, complete with taunt between 9 and 10, and Goldust stops a blind charge and gets a rana before getting booted down. Harper brings Bray in now, and he laughs at Bryan before dropping elbows on Goldust. Bray works Goldust over in the corner as Cody gets stitched up. Bray blows a kiss at Goldust and lands an avalanche before doing the inverted look. Harper tags in and drops an elbow on Goldust on the second rope. Harper steps on Goldust's throat, but he misses a drop before clearing the face apron to keep Goldust in. Rowan clubs away on Goldust as the ref is pre-occupied with Bryan. Big splash by Rowan gets two. Rowan puts a neck crank on Goldust and works his gut, but misses a blind charge only to catch Goldust and keep him cornered as JBL mocks Tony Romo. Rowan with the IRON CLAW on Goldust, throwing him across the ring for two. Harper in, but he throws Goldust into the Wyatt corner, and he beats everyone up with a facejam on Harper. It's a long crawl to the corners, and it's Rowan and Bryan. Bryan's immediately dropkicks Bray and goes to town on Rowan with kicks to the leg. He follows with the cross-corner dropkick, twice, before working on Rowan in the corner until he's thrown down. Bryan sticks and moves with a dropkick to the leg, and now it's the YES Kicks. Including the roundhouse! Must be a special night. Bryan goes up, and it's the Ram Jam to Rowan. Wyatt charges in, and Bryan punches him and chases only to be steamrolled by Rowan on the outside. The Wyatts taunt the Rhodeses as we go to break AGAIN. We're back for Act 3 as Bryan elbows out of Harper's grasp only to get hit with a knee to the gut. Harper guillotines Bryan in the ropes as we look at the set-up the Wyatts did just before the break. Bray tags in and headbutts Bryan before taunting him and boxing him in the corner. This just annoys Bryan, and he gets fired up only to be floored with a right hand. Bray goes ground-and-pound now, then drags Bryan into the corner and tags in Harper, who does a Tope Atomico (!!!) for two. (That's Eddie's flip senton over the ropes.) Rowan in, and he slams Bryan and adds a diving forearm. Rowan goes back to the neck crank, but Bryan twitches out of it and blocks a charge, getting a Tornado DDT. Bray directs traffic, but it's hot tag Cody, who gets a springboard dropkick on Harper and a jumping knee. Cody with the Brisco rollup for two and the sliding uppercut. Disaster Kick hits Rowan, and Harper eats buckle and moonsault press, Bray saves. Goldust is sent out, but Bryan leaps in with a missile dropkick on Bray and a tope suicida as the fight gets personal. Rowan pulls Bryan off and into the barricade, and Goldust with a flip senton on Rowan. WHERE DO THEY LEARN THIS STUFF? Harper sent to the apron, but Bray tags himself in. Harper eats Disaster Kick, and Bray follows with Sister Abigail's Kiss to win at 22:28. Goldust races in to help, and Harper sends him out. Bryan eats stairs courtesy of Rowan as the crowd chants NO. It's a 3-on-1 on Bryan, and Bray has Bryan dragged to the middle of the ring. He taunts Bryan and says it doesn't have to be this way. “I could've given you the world!” The Wyatts stand tall as we go black, and when we return, they're lounging in the aisle. Given enough time, just about anyone in WWE can put on a good match. ***3/4

Tomorrow, PG Week continues on the Blog as I will give you a special What If. It isn't about a booking decision; it's about life or death.

And now, we have Good Santa being informed of Bad Santa's intentions and vowing to stop it. The Force of ham is strong in this one.

Meanwhile, the WWE sent each Cy Young winner a replica WWE Title belt.

Back in the streets, Bad News Barrett is still working the kettle and bell. Barrett is saying all proceeds go to charity. I can only assume that's the name of Wade Barrett's escort.

CHRISTMAS CAROL SINGING CONTEST! Yeah, why not. R-Truth and Xavier Woods are up first. Woods does a decent “O Holy Night”, with R-Truth providing Diddy-esque remix comments. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre are next; they butcher a rock version of Jingle Bells. You know, it takes talent to sing this badly. JBL: “Was Jillian busy?” Team #3 is Santino Marella and Great Khali. They do “Deck the Halls”, with Khali doing the fa-la-la's... not well, mind you. Although Santino's falsetto singing isn't the worst I've heard. The Cobra is wearing reindeer antlers, too. Your winners: Santino/Khali. Yes, really. 3MB are sore losers and attack, but Truth and Woods cut them off and it's a mass jobber beating. Santino apologizes for the fight, and in order to make up for it: a four-man Wish You a Merry Christmas. Khali doesn't know the words. You get the feeling Vince knows nobody is watching?

Up next, a Christmas Present on a Pole Match between Fandango and Dolph Ziggler. Yeah, Vince knows.

As I've said several times, it's PG Week on the Blog, and I'm going to close it on Sunday with a special WrestleMania Rewind! You, the fans, get to decide which WrestleMania I recap! Feel free to discuss what sort of torture to put me through in the comments!

Pole Match: Fandango v. Dolph Ziggler. The candy cane pole has a present on it; first to claim it wins the match and, presumably, the gift. Were they giving out Santa hats to the first five rows, or did they all co-ordinate? All the big names are here: We Hate Cena Guy, Sign Guy, Brock Lesnar Fan... it's like a greatest hits in the crowd. We then learn that the prize is an I-C title match. Wisely, both men race to the corner and try to get up to the pole, but neither one succeeds. Fandango punches Ziggler as we get into the match proper. Cole: “I'd like to see [JBL] scramble up a pole.” Dolph with a dropkick and he climbs, but Fandango stops it. Fandango works on Dolph in the corner, then follows with a back elbow. He climbs, but Dolph yanks him off the corner. Dolph with a big right, but Fandango fires in a knee only to get Hammer Thrown away from the pole. Dolph is all alone and climbs, but Fandango catches him for a powerbomb only to get sunset flipped and Rocker Dropped. Cole more or less admits they gave away Santa hats. Good for them. Dolph is climbing again, but Summer Rae trips him (I think) and Fandango charges Dolph, sending both to the outside. No, on replay, Dolph just slipped to buy time. Fandango is higher up, but Dolph follows him and they're both on the top rope. Fandango goes down, but bounces back up with a rope-assisted roundhouse kick. Fandango then climbs OVER Dolph to the top, but Dolph recovers and makes a soprano out of him. Dolph goes up and has his hand on it before Fandango stops him and sends him off the ropes into the steps. And with that, Fandango will face Langston next week. Time of the match: 4:43. It's a pole match; they're kind of all the same. 1/2*

Coming up later: Cena, Punk, Langston v. Ambrose, Rollins, Reigns.

I've never plugged a commercial before (so far as I can remember), but for our military I'll make an exception: www.HireHeroesUSA.org.

Prime Time Players v. The Usos. Darren gets mad that Titus O'Neil does all the talking, then immediately addresses “Houston”. They're not in Houston. Darren is pouting over his mistake. Titus says they want three things: a win, a title shot, and a superdance. O'Neil and Jey start, and Titus with a tackle and bark. Jey with a headlock, but Titus shoves him off and catches him with a flapjack. Young in, and Titus suplexes him onto Jey. It doesn't even get one. Young to the headlock, and he catches Jey with an elbow, but Jey gets a hiptoss as the Austin crowd lets us know where we are. Jimmy with a hiptoss of his own and he works the arm. Crowd starts a Houston Sucks chant as Jimmy gets a flying back elbow for one. Another armdrag follows, and back to the arm. Jey back in, and he drops an axhandle on the arm and covers for one. Back to the arm with a chickenwing as Jey yells “This ain't Houston!” He's never going to live this down, is he? Jimmy in, and Young gets beaten up with a pair of double elbows for one. Back to the armbar as JBL and Cole speculate on the University of Texas coaching job. Young with a Northern Lights out of nowhere for two. He slugs away on Jimmy and gets a roaring elbow and Greco-Roman throw. Jey tags himself in with a cradle for one and superkick-throat thrust combo. Samoan Drop follows, then a hip check on Young. Titus saves, but Jey low bridges Titus and Young gets superkicked again. Jimmy puts on a Rudolph nose and flies with a Superfly Splash for the win at 4:52. Not so much a match as a sheer mockery of Darren Young. *3/4 Titus helps Young up, and everyone makes nice after the match with the Millions of Dollars dance. Titus has to help Young do it like Young's a ragdoll. I got nothing.

We get a Tale of the Tape on Good Santa and Bad Santa. That will be next. Cole is marking out for Good Santa, and JBL is cheering for Bad Santa.

Hey, the Rock has earned ALL the money in 2013. WWE wins! Sort of. You know, assuming Dwayne cares about his first job.

Mark “Good Santa” Henry v. Damien “Bad Santa” Sandow. I'm calling them Henry and Sandow and you can't stop me. Both men are introduced as Santa. Sandow comes to the ring with a giant lump of coal. And yes, they're both dressed as Santa. Let's just say this won't be a scientific classic. Sandow charges, but gets slugged down by Henry. Henry grabs a ginormous present in the corner... and it's a toilet bowl. Sandow attacks and gets headbutted. And from there, Sandow gets the SWIRLIE OF DEATH in the corner. Sandow bails and grabs a nearby gift – a fire extinguisher. He holds Henry at bay, but can't figure out how to operate it. So Henry shows him... about the way you'd expect. Sandow crawls to the entrance as JBL and Cole debate whether Santa's suit is fireproof or Santa himself is. They fight on the entranceway, where Sandow finds a kendo cane and destroys Henry AND the decorations at the top. Henry blocks and headbutts, breaking the stick in half and throwing Sandow down the aisle. Henry sends Sandow into a tree and pounds him with a present. Back in, Sandow jumps Henry and pounds away. He gets the extinguisher, but again doesn't know the next step. Henry kicks him down and uses it instead. World's Strongest Slam (which Cole re-christens the Sleigh Ride for this occasion) finishes as Christmas is saved at 3:17. Honestly, they should've given this more time like Orton/Otunga. Henry finds some sleigh bells in a present as JBL calls Santa a thief because those gifts are for kids, doggone it! Henry then finds cupcakes and throws them into Sandow's face for fun. Eh, it's a comedy match, what do you want? *

Renee Young gets to interview CM Punk. She asks about Punk's plan, and for once he has one. It's the middle of the holiday season, and the Shield's trying to ruin it. So Punk asks for help – yes, the loner asked for help. And he asked SANTA for help. And now that Santa saved Christmas, he gave Punk the gift of John Cena and Big E Langston. Langston appears and says his gift is a beating for the Shield. Cena is a little too excited about the Christmas season. Cena found the Shield's list, and tonight they'll give them their gifts. Reigns needs Big E to knock his teeth in, Rollins needs an Attitude Adjustment, and Ambrose needs to Go 2 Sleep. Langston: “Believe in that!”

Well, since Christmas is saved, I'll have a Christmas gift for you on the Blog as part of PG Week on Wednesday as I recap my favorite nostalgia PPV of all time! No hints, other than it's not a WrestleMania, so you can choose whichever one you want for Sunday.

We the People v. Los Matadores. Zeb Colter wants us to remember one thing during Christmas: Santa's an illegal immigrant, sneaking across our border and taking our jobs. But at least Santa's only around for one night every year. And by the way, don't say “Feliz Navidad”; it's “Merry Christmas”. As always, I'm calling them Epico and Primo. El Torito is white this week. Cole compares him to the Abominable Snowmonster from Rankin/Bass. Crowd chants that OU stinks as Cesaro works on Primo with uppercuts. Primo vaults over the corner and lands on his feet, then flips some more before getting headscissors. Twice. Cesaro misses a blind charge, but Primo gets caught and it's the GIANT SWING OF DOOM. We get to 22 and a half and Primo has to bail. Even Epico is getting sympathy dizziness. The two switch off, and Epico is thrown in, cradling Cesaro until Swagger saves. Epico thwarts a double-team and dives onto Cesaro as Primo gets a senton cradle for two. Swagger flips Primo, who does a headstand rana on Swagger followed by the Boss Man Straddle. Up top, as Epico cuts off Cesaro only to get sent into the barricade. Primo argues with Cesaro, and Torito gores Cesaro. Primo then gets a diving crossbody on Swagger for the pin at 3:19. NOSOTROS EL PUEBLO! *1/4

And if that translation's wrong, blame Babelfish.

Another look at last Friday's main event to set up tonight's main event.

Batista: still coming.

Kofi Kingston v. Ryback. Someone wanna clean up the entrance? Ryback opens with a hiptoss and taunt, but Kofi kicks away and takes over. Kofi works a headlock, but runs into Ryback. Ryback catches Kofi, but Kofi lands on his feet and gets a dropkick. Corner forearm and running dropkick and Ryback bails. He argues with the referee, and Kofi sends him to the floor instead. Ryback looks to leave and is intercepted by a Kofi somersault plancha. Back in, Ryback sends Kofi back out. He goes to the outside as the crowd chants Goldberg, and Kofi's head hits the apron. Back in, a Hammer Throw to Kofi leads to stomping. Ryback chops Kofi in the corner as JBL plugs everything he can think of. Bearhug by Ryback to Kofi as the announcers discuss what the wrestlers are getting for Christmas. Kofi elbows out but runs into a stalling suplex. Ryback gets two off of it. To the second rope, but he dives into Kofi's feet. Ryback eats elbow on a blind charge, then a springboard dropkick for two. Soccer kicks to Ryback follow, then the Boom Drop. He calls for Trouble in Paradise, but Ryback knows it and hides in the corner only to get pendulum kicked. Crossbody by Kofi gets two. Kofi vaults onto Ryback, but Ryback gets a faceplant on the top rope and Meathook. “Happy Holidays. Get up!” Ryback gets Shell Shock for the win at 5:45. Man, Ryback's really fallen into a slump in his in-ring work – he was BAD on offense. 1/2*

There's a main event tonight that you want to watch!

Thursday on PG Week, I'll have a little essay about recent off-screen WWE antics, comparing them to times past and wondering whether hypocrisy is involved.

Vince McMahon and a few expendable superstars went to Afghanistan this week, apparently returning “earlier today”. So R-Truth raced all the way to the arena to take part in the sing-off? Sorry, I can't resist.

So now the payoff: Bad News Barrett is at ringside to let us know that he's gathered money for charity. Thousands of dollars, in fact. But the bad news: he's not working for any charity, so the money is all his. Cole: “Bah Humbug!”

The Shield reports from an undisclosed location and says Punk has three thorns in his side. Ambrose says Punk's pain gives them pleasure. Rollins then questions Cena and Punk being allies. And why are they trying, since the outcome is always the same. Reigns lets us know that Langston's the big target and in over his head. Tonight, they will rip everything apart.

PG Week on the Blog will end next Monday with the final Raw of 2013, live from Richmond! SmackDown will be pre-taped in DC, my backyard. I'm very tempted to go, but I couldn't tell you about it because I don't do spoilers. Big Show sold separately.

Main event: CM Punk, Big E Langston, and John Cena v. Shield. Punk raises the roof for Langston. Cena gives a kid in the front row a T-Shirt... which would be more awesome except it appears Santino gave the same kid a Cobra. Ambrose looks to start against Cena as the crowd gets their duelling chant on. Cena with a headlock on Ambrose, adding a shoulder tackle. Rollins tags in to test his luck. He kicks Cena down, but Cena pounds away and gets a cross-corner whip into... his comeback? Yup, tackles and spinning slam, but Rollins rolls out before the Shuffle can get started. Shield call a huddle before returning. Reigns tags in now and stares down Cena. A shoving match breaks out, and Cena lands some punches only to run into a Samoan Drop for two. Reigns corners Cena and stomps away before tagging in Rollins as we go to break. We return with Rollins pounding Cena in a neutral corner, but Cena reverses a whip just to get caught with an elbow and Buff Blockbuster for two. Ambrose in, and he punches down Cena and gets a Power Drive Elbow for two. Headbutts and right hands follow. Cena tries to fight out of it, but gets caught in a sleeper. It's on for a very long time, as the crowd gets into it, and Punk tags in DURING THE SLEEPER. Leg lariat to Ambrose, and Punk follows with a tope suicida. Reigns is knocked over for good measure, and Punk with a twisting neckbreaker to set up the corner knee and short-arm lariat. He goes up top, knocking Rollins off the apron before he can get there, and that allows Ambrose to send him to the floor. Ambrose with a suplex on the floor, and he rolls in, begs off to the ref, and rolls back out. It's the little things, really. Back in, it gets two. Rollins tags in and kicks Punk in the back. Rollins points to his black eye (“You did this to me”) before trying to return the favor. Rollins with a Hammer Throw, as Cena begs for a tag only to get Rollins' attention. Rollins keeps kicking at Punk, stomping him down and taunting the crowd. Punk sends Rollins into the HBK Corner Flip to get to the corner, but Ambrose cuts him off with a front chancery. Punk gets to his knees and tries to get the tag anyway, but Ambrose stops it and throws him into the corner instead. Reigns tags in and headbutts an exposed Punk. Reigns shoves around Punk, but it allows Punk to get a flurry of offense only for him to run into a bearhug. Punk elbows out... only for Reigns to turn it into a spinebuster for two. Leaping elbowdrop gets two. Rollins tags in, and he hooks a bodyscissors. Cena leads a Let's Go Punk chant as Punk elbows out of Rollins's grip. Rollins charges but gets back suplexed, and now it's time for a hot tag. Ambrose knocks Cena off the apron to prevent it, which allows Langston to distract the referee and Reigns to steamroll Cena. Ambrose (somehow the legal man) stands over a prone Punk, then looks at Langston all alone in the corner. Ambrose pulls Punk up only to get a roundhouse kick to make him dizzy. Reigns cuts off the hot tag (BARELY), but his blind charge airballs and NOW Langston FINALLY gets the hot tag. Langston destroys Rollins and Reigns, sending the latter out of the ring and hitting the former with a Greco-Roman throw. Ambrose misses Langston and hits Rollins, and Langston gets the Ultimate Splash on both men. The STRAPS ARE DOWN, but Rollins tags in Ambrose. Ambrose runs into the Big Ending, but Rollins dropkicks Ambrose on top, Cena saves. Rollins dives into an AA, but Reigns spears Cena to stop it. Punk off the top to knock down Reigns as Rollins and Punk are dumped. Ambrose taunts, but Langston scoops him up for the Big Ending, but the Shield all attack en masse for the DQ at 16:00 or so. They set up the Triplebomb, but Cena pulls Reigns away and throws him into the barricade. Langston bowls over Ambrose and Rollins, who get AA/GTS in stereo. Play ALL the face music (Cena, then Punk, then Big E) to end as we all celebrate. ***1/4

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This was basically a house show, since I think Vince was betting on this show being poorly watched due to the holidays. If that's the case, I can't hold anything against anyone. There was no angle advancement tonight, and the matches didn't really matter that much. The only real thing you need to know is Fandango and Langston will meet next week in an I-C title match.

So if you didn't watch tonight, you didn't miss anything, and we all knew you wouldn't miss anything. On the other hand, I had fun watching, so does that count for something?

STATS:

MATCH TIME: 69:35 over nine matches

BEST MATCH: The Wyatt six-man

WORST MATCH: Kofi/Ryback

NIGHT MVP: Fandango

FINAL SCORE: N/A. No need to rate this one, since it's basically a house show. If you get a chance to find the whole show on YouTube and have a few hours to spare, enjoy. Otherwise, catch what you want.

Stay tuned all week as I fill the Blog with content! I'll be back tomorrow with a What If as we begin PG Week! Merry Christmas, everyone!