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Impact Wrestling - January 23, 2014

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 23, 2014
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

We're back with Genesis Week Two, featuring all of the matches that we couldn't get to last week because we needed a thirty minute opening segment. Tonight we have Roode vs. Angle in a cage, Gunner vs. Storm for the briefcase, Sabin vs. Aries for the X Title and Sting vs. Magnus in a contract vs. title match, even though Sting was forbidden from challenging for the title ever again just a year ago. Let's get to it.


The opening video recaps Sting challenging Magnus from last week and the Roode vs. Angle feud.

Dixie and Spud are in the back with Dixie freaking out about Ethan not being here. Magnus comes in and shakes hands with some lawyer whose name sounded like Creed. Apparently there was a meeting with the board of directors and someone is setting up a hostile takeover of TNA.

The attorney says he can deal with the new investor, even though it seems to be something personal. Magnus says deal with it because he has a title defense. Apparently the investor wants someone in Sting's corner so Magnus wants No DQ and No Countout. The lawyer and Magnus almost get in a fight until Dixie defuses it. The editing in this made it feel really unnatural.

Here are Magnus, Spud and Ethan to the arena. Nice to see that the “where's Ethan” problem was settled inside of four minutes. Magnus accuses Sting of playing politics and thought he was a bigger man than that. This brings out Sting himself who accuses Magnus of backing out of deals of his own. Magnus says this is about Sting and wants to know how much he paid the new investor.

Either way, Sting has to face Magnus on his own tonight and Sting just can't beat Magnus on his own. Sting says he's watched their BFG match over and over again and is ready. The fans chant Paper Champion at Magnus so he slaps Sting, triggering a brawl. Sting is outnumbered but Samoa Joe makes the save. Naturally Joe is the man in Sting's corner tonight.

Video on Gunner vs. Storm, leading to their match for the briefcase tonight.

Spud freaks out about Joe so Dixie puts him in a match with the Samoan. Spud panics even more. Dixie after Spud leaves: “Please don't get killed.”

James Storm vs. Gunner

Of course it's a briefcase on a pole. The announcers emphasize that you have to get full possession of the case. Feeling out process to start with Storm skinning the cat but walking into a running clothesline to put him back down. James comes back with a kick to the head but gets caught in the corner and taken down by a fallaway slam. A suplex puts Gunner down but he counters the Last Call into a Rock Bottom.

Gunner goes up but gets taken down by a hurricanrana of all things to put both guys down again. Storm goes up and gets his hands on the case but Gunner stops him, bringing the case down. That's not full possession though so it becomes a fight for the case. A headbutt knocks Storm away and Gunner gets the case at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This was every pole match you've ever seen though there were some decent spots in there to fill in some time. The ending didn't add anything special and Gunner still having the case doesn't change the situation. I don't buy Gunner as a title contender but beating James Storm won't hurt him. Can we get Storm a story that doesn't involve a tag team though?

Kurt Angle says if he can't beat Roode tonight, he doesn't deserve the Hall of Fame.

Earlier today, Velvet Sky got a package from Chris Sabin and we get to see her open it. The note says she needs to bring them to Impact this week. There's a teddy bear and a lead pipe, meaning Velvet isn't pleased.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Sabin is defending and Velvet is in a small cage at ringside, complete with a bag containing the gifts. Feeling out process to start until Aries grabs a quick Last Chancery. Sabin is thrown to the floor but jumps back onto the apron to crotch Aries in the corner. Aries gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide but avoids being thrown to the floor.

He comes back with elbows to the head and a Lionsault for two. A discus forearm sets up the running dropkick in the corner but Sabin counters the brainbuster. Sabin heads to the floor and gets the bag from Velvet but it just has the bear. Aries gets in an ax handle from the apron followed by a missile dropkick. The brainbuster gives Aries the title at 5:10.

Rating: C-. I'm having a really hard time caring about these matches when I don't think all three have combined to go twenty minutes. These are all just meaningless title changes and the belt hasn't grown at all as a result. I believe this puts Aries at four title reigns and it doesn't make him a bigger star at all.

We get a strange promo from the Wolves with the camera going all over the place. Richards says you've seen their matches on Youtube so why would you make the wolves dance for their meal? They're the start of the new era and next week the investor will be revealed to the world. Cool video.

We recap Angle vs. Roode. Bobby has beaten him over and over but tonight it's in a cage and if Angle loses, he can never go into the Hall of Fame.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

Roode has a new sleeveless full body vest. It's pin/submission/escape here. There's no bell after the break so we'll say this is joined in progress. Roode goes after Kurt to start but walks into a belly to belly suplex to give Angle control. He stomps Bobby down in the corner but his right hands are countered with a powerbomb into the cage. A suplex gets two for Roode and more choking ensues.

Angle grabs the legs and catapults Roode into the cage, setting up the Rolling Germans. The Angle Slam is countered and Angle is sent into the cage. A spinebuster gets a fast two for Roode but a Roode Bomb attempt is countered by Angle ramming Bobby into the cage. Now the Slam connects for two and there go the straps. Ankle lock goes on but Roode fights to his feet and takes Angle down with an enziguri.

We go old school with Roode's Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) for two. Roode goe sup but Angle makes a save and rams Roode into the cage over and over again until he falls down. Kurt is still on the ropes and goes to escape before looking back at Roode. Oh no. Angle busts out the moonsault but only hits mat in a HUGE crash. Roode crawls out the door but Angle grabs the ankle to pull him back in. Kurt is kicked away so they do the same thing again but this time Kurt puts on the ankle lock, only to have Roode whip him into the cage.

The Roode Bomb gets two and Bobby climbs the cage, so Angle runs the corner and hits the Angle Slam to put both guys down again. Kurt crawls over for a slow two before making a very slow climb to the corner. He gets a leg over but Roode pulls him back in onto the top rope. They slug it out until Roode is crotched on the top, allowing Angle to climb out for the win at 14:17, seconds before Roode makes it out the door.

Rating: B. Angle is going to die in a wrestling ring at some point and there's no way around it. This was a good but not classic cage match and there's nothing wrong with that. Above all else, this match was given time to develop and it worked much better as a result. I'd buy this as the ending of the feud but there's a chance they could get one more match out of them.

Ethan gives Spud a pep talk and names him the British Dream.

Here are the Bro Mans who say they're on Team Dixie. Jesse says you only Bro once and asks the fans to tweet something right now to remember this moment. They say the word hashtag about 17 times and call out Eric Young and Joseph Park but just get the smaller one. He charges the ring and tries to fight everyone off but gets beaten down until Abyss makes the save. The monster cleans house and the champions and Zema run, leaving Eric to be grabbed by the throat but he talks Abyss out of it.

Joe is ready and wants a piece of Magnus afte Sting gets done with him.

Angle is worried about what happens if TNA loses Sting.

Rockstar Spud vs. Samoa Joe

This is exactly what you would expect with Joe not being afraid of Spud at all and hitting an early Facewash. Spud goes get in an eye rake and some kicks to the leg, only to charge into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The MuscleBuster and the Koquina Clutch are good for the win for Joe at 2:20.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Sting

No DQ and No Countout with Sting's contract (not career) on the line against Magnus' title. Joe is at ringside in Sting's corner. Magnus cranks on a headlock to start as the fans chant Paper Champion. Off to a wristlock by the Brit but Sting flips him down onto the mat and Magnus bails to the ropes. A double clothesline puts both guys down and here's Ethan to interfere but Joe blocks him on the ramp as we take a break.

Back with Sting putting on the Scorpion but Bad Influence comes out to neutralize Joe, allowing Ethan to make the save. Everyone is in the ring now so we're already at four interferences. Joe and Sting fight them off and Magnus takes the Death Drop but it's Zema and the Bro Mans for the save, getting us to seven interferences.

Bad Influence gets back into things but Angle makes a save (8), allowing Sting to superplex Magnus. A replacement referee comes out (9) and counts two but the Stinger Splash takes him out as well. There's the Scorpion but Bobby Roode (10) breaks up the hold to save a tapping Magnus. The champ gets up for a Michinoku Driver and it's Dixie bringing Earl Hebner (11 and 12) for the three count for the pin at 13:25. That one move put Sting out for about 45 seconds.

Rating: T. For twelve people that came out during the match. It's hard to get that many people into a show sometimes and they did it in a fourteen minute match. These things are making it hard to care about any main event TNA promotes because they're bigger messes than the Attitude Era ever dreamed of airing. This was more of a match than AJ vs. Magnus though.

Magnus rips up Sting's contract to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. For Impact, this wasn't bad but it keeps up one of TNA's many problems: they always seem to be building to something but we never actually get to that point. It's very much a company chasing its own tail and it has been for years. For instance, we spent months building to BFG but BFG was just a step towards Dixieland. Now Dixieland has bene just a step towards the investor, which will be a step to something else.

I'm sick of these power struggle stories and they keep TNA feeling like they're on life support. I'm mildly interested in the reveal next week but my hopes are low enough that a mouse couldn't get fit underneath them. The cage match was good but the main event was overdone, much like every other title match anymore.

Results
Gunner b. James Storm – Gunner grabbed the briefcase
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Brainbuster
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Angle escaped the cage
Samoa Joe b. Rockstar Spud – Koquina Clutch
Magnus b. Sting – Michinoku Driver


Remember to pick up my new book of the History of Summerslam for just $4 from Amazon at:

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Also check out my Amazon author page with other wrestling books at:


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Comments

  1. TNA's booking right now makes Vince Russo look like Jim Cornette.

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  2. Never thought I would see that rating, T.

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  3. At least this is only Aries 4th, as oppose to Sabin's 8th.

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  4. The new WON notes that Sting is finishing up the last two dates of his real contract via house shows and then he'll likely be coming in for Wrestlemania.

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  5. I had the Main Event at F for "Failed" to attract my viewership. It was a mind-boggling awful main event that made me long for the early days of TNA when Double J matches had only 7 or 8 people run in.

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  6. Well the match didn't meet the three minutes of wrestling threshold so I couldn't give it a regular rating.

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  7. I laughed at the Grade of "T" for the main event.

    Good Review man

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  8. Hopefully he doesn't wrestle in a T-Shirt

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  9. Maybe they'll do the match under some goofy lighting, like early Kane or Glacier matches.

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  10. Part of me wishes the new investor is Vince Russo or someone equally hated by the IWC. Just to see everyone do the slap-the-forehead spot at another boneheaded TNA move.

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  11. Much appreciated.

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  12. He's probably hiding some ripped six-pack abs so that he can surprise everybody when it counts.

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  13. There must be some misunderstanding. There must be some kind of mistake.

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  14. T was a bit too harsh. I had that match as a Q.

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  15. Shades of Ric Flair vs Mr. Perfect!

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  16. Three letters above a T. If Sting wasn't so lazy, they could have pulled it up into the M or N range.

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  17. Quick, change the channel.

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  18. Three grades above a T.

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  19. If we end up getting Sting/Taker as opposed to Cena/Taker you're probably going to have to ban me. It'll be a ridiculous amount of incessant whining, yelling, and emails coming from OfficerFarva

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  20. With the going rate of TNA, the investor could well be any one of us.

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  21. Maybe TNA can use whatever cash they have left to lure one of the manatees from Family Guy?

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  22. Wasn't he already Cornette? I mean, they're both awesomely talented at booking like shit.

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  23. TNA makes it so hard to want to see the company succeed when they put on shows like this.

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  24. It actually blows my mind that Sting is *really* coming to WWF after so many years of hearing the rumor. You might as well tell me that the Hart Foundation is reforming and Yokozuna is joining them after revealing he faked his death.

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  25. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 23, 2014 at 11:29 PM

    Never mind the gimmick, it was just a bad match on it's own. Sting hits a scoop slam right at the bell, and that's the last actual move of the match. The rest of it is them punching and chasing each other around.

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  26. I'm almost afraid to ask, but...is that really so much worse an option at this point?

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  27. I know Undertaker's had wonderful Streak matches in the past five years, but his opponent was such a good match for him that they always wound up far better than anyone expected. There's so much failure written all over a Sting/Undertaker match, between the clash of styles, their combined ages of 100, their broken bodies, and the lack of any real setup (I can't see any reason they can give for a match that will possibly make me care for this), that it's probably going to rank among the worst of UT's Streak matches. The only worse option would have been Goldberg.

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  28. It should be noted that Dixie Carter's heel turn won the Gooker Award over at Wrestlecrap. It's very well-deserved.

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  29. I think wrestling in an undersold high school gym made him think about how he wanted his career to end.

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  30. Tonight was no Broadway Melody of 2014. More like "Calling All Stations".

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  31. I'd love for the February 24th Raw to end with the Undertaker standing at the top of the steps (to bring up the lights)... Only for the lights to go out.

    They come back up for only a few seconds and Sting stands in the opposite corner with the bat. After pointing it at the Undertaker, the lights go out again and Sting has vanished. The lights come up with Undertaker stunned, still in place on the steps. Fin.

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  32. I'm willing to bet the investor is Randy Hales which means we'll get the epic return of Macho Warrior Ric Hogan and the debut of his cousin Ice Cold Rocky John Bryan any day now.

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  33. Even more embarrassing, it was a freaking middle school gym because TNA can't even upgrade to high school gyms and even ROH has upgraded from high school gyms hence why they haven't held a show in one in several years.

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  34. It will be their luck that they end up getting one of the manatees from The Cleveland Show instead.
    And I think now we can officially call Dave Lagana the worst Paul Heyman protégé ever because he's about as good at writing as Greg the office boy is at running Ring Of Honor.

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  35. Threadjack: seems legit

    http://www.kayfabenews.com/slater-expected-to-win-rumble-says-unreliable-backstage-source/

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  36. Hey! Calling All Stations was one of the best Genesis tribute albums ever made!

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  37. Randy Hales is too busy with Southern States Wrestling right now. They're gonna pass TNA to become the number 2 promotion any day now.

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  38. Hey now, don't underestimate the great drawing power of Southern States Wrestling. They're really effective when it comes to drawing thousa....hundre....doz...fans.

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  39. I saw at least 8 fans on the screen on the last show when Eric Darkstorm defended the title against Thorn.

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  40. As legit as any other wrestling rumor I've heard.

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  41. Yeah I could see AC Slater coming in and winning the Rumble. I mean, he was All State in high school wrestling. He wrestled in college as well, he had a hard time at first but ended up doing rather well. He also bangs this married chick, Kelly, on the side.

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  42. hey now, their combined ages exceed 100!

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  43. They really should just give The Gooker Award to TNA every year or just rename it the TNA Award. You know, there have been times TNA has shown sparkles of promise for a little bit of time but they seemed to constantly flush that down the toilet. Kinda sad as I want a solid, good number 2 promotion. It doesn't have to be competitive with the WWE, just put out a decent product.

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  44. I wouldn't entirely hate that idea. If Russo could have somebody to reel him in and screen his ideas a little, I could see him doing ok. Even if he was able to run wild with TNA, well it wouldn't be boring"

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  45. I've given up on TNA, mainly because I'm never home on Thursday nights and my DVR can't seem to handle recording things when I want it to. I'll eventually catch up when Impact updates it's On Demand listings. But reading these recaps, it isn't making me want to see the show.

    Is there word about who the investor is supposed to be? If it turns out to be Bischoff, I may never come back...

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  46. That excuse ranks up there with the women that couldn't go out with me because they had to wash their hair.

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  47. I think it would have been better deserved for this year, and Brooke Hogan should have won the 2013 Gooker. But it's TNA either way.

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  48. Don't worry, next week, they'll be re-lacing their sneakers.

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  49. The swerve comes when Slater is revealed as a "Morris Guy," after Zack hits Daniel Bryan over the head with his oversized 80s cell phone.

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  50. Why? Please explain the intrigue in a Sting/Taker match. It would be a 4 star match...nope. Sting has been relevant the past ten years and it's a dream match...nope. sting and Taker are both phenomenal on the mic and could cut great dueling promos...nope. I think most of the fascination by fans is because they both wear black and it fills some pseudo comic book fantasy they have

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  51. I am really not sure about that.

    that's why I pointed out Big Show as an example. he obviously "gets it" but the crowd often does not react to him because it seems "boring" in comparism.

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  52. well according to the date on the article, Slater will win LAST year's Rumble. I have it on good "authority" that a certain "game" changing superstar/executive will enter and reclaim his place as the face of the WWE. You heard it here first.

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  53. Cue the TNA kickstarter campaign...

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  54. Ok...so Roode / Angle.


    Angle doesn't want to be inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame (*snicker*). Roode is upset by this for some reason. So they have a feud where if Roode wins, Angle can't ever get inducted into the Hall of Fame, even though Angle already said he doesn't want to be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

    That seems perfectly logical.

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  55. Your DVR probably doesn't want to watch it either.

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  56. Thank you! I couldn't agree more. "15 years ago they both had spooky gimmicks!"

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  57. "lack of any real setup"? Hey, they both wore black clothes and didn't speak much 15 YEARS AGO! What more of a setup do you need?

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  58. You don't want those fancy Sin Cara lighting effects to go to waste.

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  59. That's really the only explanation I can come up with. It does the same thing to me with Raw.

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  60. It was Brooke's to lose until Dixie came along. If your big idea to save your company is to do a poor man's Stephanie McMahon impression, you deserve all the anti-accolades you get.

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  61. That would be quite a Scoop.

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  62. How shortsighted of both of you. You don't see how this bridges the gap between WWE and GCW/Turner, for purposes of the Network? What about how Sting could induct the Warrior in the HOF? Ah, none of that matters because Farva and jdg want to see something else.

    The Blog of Doom: Where low-to-middle class white-collar marks tell us how to feel and think.

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  63. "I want a solid, good number 2 promotion"
    Well, you're certainly getting THAT every week

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  64. But that's really the point. Sometimes wrestling isn't about ***** matches or technical prowess or anything like that. Sometimes it's all about "what ifs" and what not. Will Sting-Taker beat Savage-Steamboat? F no. But there is a curiousity, however fleeting, involved. And while it won't be a show-stopper, it's still a match involving the one guy who has NEVER wrestled in WWE/F. That alone is noteworthy.

    And really - a good wrestling mind could make Brooklyn Brawler vs. Barry Horowitz compelling, given the right amount of material.

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  65. If they want to bring Sting in for the purposes of the Network great. He would be a great ambassador for the network. If they want him to induct Warrior into the HOF, sure go for it (although I've heard they hate each other). Sting deserves a HOF induction in his own right.

    None of that changes the fact that Sting/Taker for Wrestlemania would be a disaster. If you want to see two guys whose combined age is over 100 have a crappy match to satisfy your fantasy booking itch from 15 years ago you're free to do so. But we're free to also give our opinion about why we think that would be a bad ida.

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  66. They could milk a little something out of sting but booking him with undertaker for wm would be an embarrassment. Even the wwe wouldn't book something that lame.

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  67. If they wanted to do sting vs taker it should have happened in 2007

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  68. I'd legit rather see hhh vs undertaker part 4 than sting vs undertaker

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  69. No need to cyber bully others with a contrary opinion

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  70. I think putting him with Kane or adr in a singles match or having him tag with a returning sheamus against some heel tandem would be fun. I 100% support a sting wwe run, hof induction, and DVD I just don't want to see sting vs taker at wrestlemania

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  71. The Stossell question is basically an Austin podcast meme now. I don't understand his obsession with it.

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