The PG Era Raw Rant: 4.28.14

When last we left our heroes, the times were changing. A man who seemed retired and off to the front office found his inner demons and unleashed them. The hero began to wonder if he'd been alive long enough to see himself become a villain. And two men found themselves a step away from gold, but the one who got away was the biggest story of them all. As we enter the home of the Viper, the previous champion, what will the current champion do? And what will everyone else get ready as we prepare to go extreme?

The PG Era Rant for Raw, April 28, 2014.

Live from St. Louis, MO.

Your hosts haven't changed since I started this gig.

Pre-Show News and Notes, for those just reading this and not watching:

1. Your guest panelist is Santino Marella.
2. Hugh Jackman is in the house. If he interacts with Zack Ryder, I'll mark.
3. The Usos will defend the titles against Ryback and Curtis Axel.
4. Roman Reigns faces Randy Orton, with everyone teased at ringside.
5. Damien Sandow appears to be on Superstars. It looks like Sin Cara's the opponent, but the lighting is normal.
6. As a reminder: Wade Barrett faces Rob Van Dam tonight. Winner goes against Big E Langston for the title.
7. Superstars spoiler: Natalya vs. Tamina.
8. Alex Riley compares Evolution to a team of Jordan, Kobe, and LeBron. Which one's which?
9. Emma and her pink Cobra show up on the Pre-Show. Santino almost calls her his girlfriend. She knocks out Alex Riley.

We open with a look back at the 3-on-1 main event, as chosen by the fans.

As we go live, the cage surrounds the ring, complete with Ominous Music™. This brings out John Cena, showing much less of his carefree spirit than usual. We get a rundown of tonight's highlights (Reigns/Orton! Usos/Rybaxel! Stephanie apologizes!) as Cena stares off into the distance. Cena: “Why?” It brings more boos. He keeps asking. The point is: why did the WWE fans want a handicap match? What did he do to deserve that? This brings a “You Suck” chant. Cena says that he was given a chance at a fair fight or no chance at all, but... why that? Because Bray Wyatt wanted to show how you felt? The fans overwhelmingly chose to give no chance, and last week Cena had to go 1-on-3. He quotes the line of “die a hero / live to be a villain”, and now he believes it. See, it was years ago in St. Louis (that gets a cheer) when Cena was drafted from SmackDown to Raw. And they were so loud that night – the loudest ovation he ever had. But times have changed. It's not the fans' fault – change happens. Cena remembers he's had good times and tough times. But no matter what, he never abandoned the WWE and he put the fans first. So, seriously, why Bray Wyatt? Cena knows the score: he can't do this forever. And he agrees with those who want to see it happen, because he knows the next generation is ready to carry it. Daniel Bryan, the Shield, Cesaro... he sees greatness in them. (Crowd: YES!) He even mentions Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn. He knows they have passion for the WWE and for the fans. But Bray Wyatt? He's a dangerous man. He's not like them. Bray is a mystery, and his speech may be captivating, but he has no heart. His passion is himself, not the fans. So... why is Cena in the cage? Because on Sunday, he will have Bray to himself – and Wyatt's message will be contained. He hears the singing, and he believes that if Wyatt wins, his message grows. And with a guy like Bray Wyatt, if he takes on the world, the world's in trouble.

And this brings out Bray Wyatt for a rebuttal. But first, a child is singing. The crowd is half-singing and half-booing. The single voice gets a chorus. And as the lights come back up, it's a gospel choir on the stage. The crowd is chanting NO. And as they finish, the transmission break leads to Bray singing as he heads to the ring, lantern and Family with him. They walk to the ring – choir, too. “He's got the whole CeNation in his hands”. “He's got the Big Bad Monster in his hands”. The crowd boos this as the lights go down again and Wyatt is seated. And when the lights come back up, the whole choir has sheep masks on. All of them just staring at Cena, who seems ready to throw up. Even Sign Guy looks disgusted. One of the kids sits on Wyatt's lap. Bray just starts laughing maniacally. “Can't you hear them, John?” Bray's laughter is the only noise – even the crowd is eerily quiet – as the camera focuses on the little kid on his lap. Kids in the crowd try a Cena chant as we cut out.

Great visual, and one of the creepiest things Raw has had in some time, but... where are they going with this? What's the point? A double turn? Fine. But we all know Vince won't allow Cena to turn heel. Let me give you a quote I got from my minion: “I told you. Endgame- make John Cena LITERALLY Jesus Christ. Only better, because EVEN JESUS was brainwashed by Wyatt.” I have a different idea. I'll get to it in a future How I'd Book It.

Let's give that a replay.

WWE Tag Team Championships: Ryback and Curtis Axel (challengers) v. Jimmy and Jey Uso (champions). This match gets its own hashtag. Interesting. Jimmy has paint on his right side. Axel and Jey start. A corner tangle allows a chop by Axel, but Jey fires back. Jey with a flying forearm for two. Ryback tags in, and he shoves Jey's face and trash talks. Jey fires back with right hands. Ryback gets the advantage with a slam, but the splash misses. Jimmy in, and a double superkick sends Ryback out. Axel is caught coming in and bails, and the Usos do a double plancha. Jey appears to hurt his ankle on the landing. We go to break on that. (Author's note: Jey appeared to have trouble clearing the top rope on his dive.)

Tag Team Championship, part two. We return with Ryback on the second rope as Jimmy is face in peril. Doctors are attending to Jey as Axel comes off with a second-rope elbow for two. Axel to the armbar as JBL says they should've taken a countout. Axel works the arm of Jimmy. A whip is reversed as Jey goes back to the apron. Axel with a kneelift for two. Ryback in, and he gets a press into a powerslam for two, two, and one. Axel gets in as Jimmy's on the corner, and both men climb. A double superplex try, but Jimmy fights out of it ad headbutts away. Jimmy dumps Ryback, tosses Axel onto Ryback, and slinks down to try to make the tag. Hot tag Jey, who says why not and dives onto Axel for two. Uppercuts to Axel, and he pounds away in the corner. Ryback is caught with a superkick and Axel with a Samoan Drop. Jey drags himself to the corner and delivers the Rikishi hip check for two. Ryback tags himself in, and Axel with a Saito suplex. Ryback gets a standing spinebuster for two. Ryback wants the Meathook, but he charges into a superkick for two. Jey chops away on Ryback, but Ryback catches him on a whip with a lariat. Shell Shock is set up, but Jey with a sunset flip for two. Ryback clubs away and brings Axel in. Jimmy tags himself in as Ryback is disposed. Perfectplex to Jey, but Jimmy's legal, and the Superfly Splash keeps the gold at 11:21. **1/2 Commentary puts over the Usos' guts and heart.

So the show isn't on DirecTV or DISH Network, but it's on the WWE Network and cable PPV. DO EET.

Hugh Jackman in the house tonight! Plus, Roman Reigns faces Randy Orton!

Adam Rose wants to bring you onto the Exotic Express where it's party time ALL the time! His first match is next week!

Backstage, Cesaro talks to Paul Heyman about something. Heyman says he's disappointed in RVD speaking out against the hand that fed him. Heyman risked his reputation on RVD, and RVD is under Heyman's skin. The Undertaker got under Heyman's skin, and we know what happened next. Heyman's not offended – RVD is right. Heyman can't be trusted. He's unethical. But Heyman is also successful. Cesaro's convinced he made the right choice, and they shake hands.

Another look back, this one to Kane's attack on Daniel Bryan. “Kane! You bastard!” Still a great line. So tonight, Stephanie McMahon will apologize to Daniel Bryan.

Raw is in my neck of the woods again on June 23.

We're backstage with a slow pan to Kane's mask in its glass case. And that's it. Lawler believes this means Kane is not in the building tonight.

Sheamus v.... Wait, never mind, Titus O'Neil attacks him from behind and throws him into the barricade over and over again before introductions. The referee demands they bring it in the ring. He continues the ground and pound until the ref breaks it up and checks on Sheamus.

Sheamus v. Titus O'Neil. O'Neil stays on Sheamus and backs him into the opposite corner with kneelifts. O'Neil jumps back in, with the ref constantly separating him, until Sheamus lands a Brogue Kick out of nowhere to win in 37 seconds. Ouch. There goes your cred, Titus.

We look back at how Hugh Jackman tried to make up with Dolph Ziggler. Damien Sandow got involved, one tweet led to another, and... well, Jackman is coming up next, so let's see what happens.

Kofi Kingston does a WWE Network tutorial, playing up how it's essentially WWE Netflix.

If you can't see yourself as a winner, you'll never be one. So Bo-Lieve in yourself!

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring. Dolph calls spring his favorite time of year – the warm weather, the bikini babes, the superhero movies. He's excited about X-Men: Days of Future Past, and we get a mini-trailer. This leads to Dolph introducing Hugh Jackman! Jackman signs an autograph on his way to the ring. Jackman warms the crowd up before declaring it's glad to be back. (He doesn't try to hide his Aussie accent.) He says he's done big things in his career, but Raw is the excitement. It's because of the live crowd, the intensity, and the anything-can-happen atmosphere. Dolph: “Funny you should say that.” Dolph reminds us that last time Jackman was here, he got decked. (He throws in a quick Ryder reference.) Jackman didn't want to talk about it, but hey, Dolph says if you're gonna get punched out, why not by Wolverine? And it was a heck of a moment, too. The two men bury the hatchet and shake on it.

But wait... this brings out Damien Sandow dressed as Magneto. Dolph: “You serious, bro?” Magneto announces that the greatest mastermind in cinema is being portrayed by someone actually intelligent! Sandow is here so that the “inferior insects” can see him in his glory. Sandow/Magneto sees the fans trembling at the sight of him. In the ring is a blond half-wit trembling because he is starstruck. Sandow says Dolph looks ridiculous. (Dolph: “You tripped on your cape when you said that.”) Sandow addresses “Hugh – excuse me, Wolverine.” He says if Jackman is a mutant. The point is, tonight, Jackman and Dolph will meet the same fate. “What?” “I don't know, I don't speak jive.” The crowd starts a chant of some sort. Jackman mocks Sandow's costume as Magneto... er, Sandow... anyway, they strike poses. Jackman messes with Sandow's costume. Sandow makes sure Jackman is done before continuing. “BEHOLD! The power of Magnetism!” He tells Jackman to be silent. Dolph tries to jump in, but Jackman says that's not the real Magneto. You think? Sandow's ready to perform... and he tries to draw something to him with his hands. Via pantomime, we're supposed to believe he's yanking the mic right out of Jackman's hands. And then Jackman stops playing along and attacks with the mic. Zig Zag and Sandow bails. Cole and JBL are shooting superhero poses on commentary. This happened. I recapped it.

We go back to last week's Raw for a look at Evolution's confrontation and walkaway against the Shield, then to the Shield owning SmackDown. This leads to tonight's main event – Randy Orton against Roman Reigns.

Paging WrestleCrap... paging WrestleCrap...

Jack Swagger v. Antonio Cesaro. We look back at Zeb Colter getting mad at Paul Heyman and a fight nearly breaking out. Paul Heyman does the intro before the match. On being booed: “You're buying into this advocate thing too much.” He insists he's just a guy with two kids. He asks for the crowd to start over... and they boo louder. Heyman says he'll prove he's a great guy with a joke. It's all a setup for the Conquer the Streak line. Sadly, no tomatoes are present. Heyman promises not to mention the Streak anymore. TO THE MATCH, as Swagger gets a go-behind and takedown. Cesaro reverses, Swagger reverses, and eventually Cesaro gets it into a Karelin suplex. Two, in fact. Heyman applauds as Cesaro kicks Swagger out of the ring. Cesaro follows with a double axhandle. Whip attempt, but Swagger reverses and follows into the barricade with a knee smash. Back in, it gets one. Swagger sends Cesaro into the post, then gets a short clothesline for one (which Heyman emphasizes). Swagger with a butterfly lock as he screams WE THE PEOPLE into Cesaro's ear. Swagger with a kneelift and a whip, but Cesaro with a kneeling uppercut. He runs into a big boot for two. Swagger lunges for a lariat, but he misses and Cesaro gets a suplex. Colter trips Cesaro, so Heyman attacks Colter. Swagger follows, and Cesaro catches him with a German suplex and bridge for the pin at 3:11. *1/4 Colter's not acting like it's over.

Another look back at the Children of the Corn opening.

Renee Young wants to ask John Cena for his reaction. Cena walks away without saying anything.

Meanwhile, Kane's mask.

Alberto Del Rio v. Cody Rhodes. No entrances. Del Rio attacks before the bell and works him over in the corner. Cody reverses and kicks away, but Del Rio gets feet up on a charge and lands a suplex for one. Cody with a short lariat and slam for one. Cody works the arm with a twist and armdrag as Goldust tries to coach. Del Rio fights out of the corner with a straight right and running... something. Back suplex gets two. Del Rio to the chinlock. Cody steps on his foot to break, but Del Rio tries a back supex. Cody flips out into a dropkick, but is caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Kick gets two. Back to the chinlock. Cody with a snapmare and sliding uppercut, then the Holly Kick. Springboard dropkick is caught with a shot to the gut. Low superkick and armbreaker end it at 3:40. Yawn. 1/2* Cody tells Dustin to keep his distance as they leave.

Coming up later, Stephanie wants to apologize to Daniel Bryan.

The Extreme Rules theme song is “Come With Me Now” by the Kongos.

Backstage, Cesaro and Heyman are having a conversation, but the cameras can't pick it up.

Alexander Rusev v. Xavier Woods. It's a preview for Sunday. Woods attacks quickly with a dropkick and shots to the gut. He races in, but Rusev catches a wheelbarrow rollup try into a Sambo Slam. It's Crush time, and the Camel Clutch ends it... no, R-Truth races in for the DQ at 41 seconds. He low-bridges a charging Rusev, and when Rusev gets back on the apron, a double-team leg lariat knocks him down. Lana actually restrains Rusev and tells him to save it for later.

Tomorrow is World Wish Day, the anniversary of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. John Cena is up to 404 wishes granted. And yet, the children hate him and are siding with Bray Wyatt. Or something. The Kids are at ringside, too. Text WISH to 80088 to donate $10 to Make-A-Wish. US Carriers only. Yes, I'm asking you to do it.

Renee Young is interviewing Rob Van Dam. He's asked about his mindset entering the match with Bad News Barrett. He's been a six-time champ, and seven is RVD's lucky number. Tonight, Barrett gets the Bad News. But first, Zeb Colter says that he and RVD have something in common: Paul Heyman. Common enemies can make for good alliances. Since they both don't like him, how about they work together to get rid of him? RVD says thanks but no thanks. He has a mind of his own. He doesn't need to join any group. He'll be his own man.

Meanwhile, Colter is having a conference with Jack Swagger.

Los Matadores v. Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater. Your minis are going to be the pre-show. They're calling it a WeeLC Match. A what? Primo and McIntyre start. McIntyre wish a back elbow and uppercut. Primo with a headscissors to reverse. McIntyre knocks Primo down, and Slater in with punches. Primo gets a springboard back elbow for two. Epico in, and he gets Tope Atomico and throws Slater into the buckle. Slater tries a backdrop, but Epico balances into a headscissors. He works the arm as Jinder Mahal has to separate the minis. Torito gores Jinder, who knocks Swoggle over. Torito gets the best of Mahal, and now Primo has to separate them. Slater, meanwhile, gets the Impaler on Epico for the pin at 2:17. DREW MCINTYRE WINS! Sort of! JBL: “Barry Horowitz just spun in his grave and he's not even dead yet!” Hornswoggle dives onto Los Matadores... and they move out of the way to let him airball. Now Torito dives onto 3MB (after slipping on first try). DUD Crowd is dead.

Coming up next, Stephanie will apologize.

Is this SmackDown and no one told me? Short matches, the announcers no-selling the action, the fans not mic'd up...

Your Main Event main event is Sheamus facing Bray Wyatt. That oughta be good.

And here comes Stephanie McMahon. We take YET ANOTHER look back at last week's attack. Stephanie, sounding emotionally choked up, calls last week a tragedy. He says Kane is unstoppable, and she wants to make it up to Daniel Bryan. She asks Bryan to emerge. No Daniel, smartly enough. So Stephanie invokes the fans' chanting for him to get him out, and that works.

Bryan has Brie and a neckbrace. Either the crowd mic is really dampened for this segment or they're not all that lively. Bryan stays on the stage, wisely not going to the ring. Stephanie applauds Bryan as the crowd chants his name. Even Brock Lesnar Guy is chanting. Daniel says he almost believes Stephanie. Did she truly want him to stop? Bryan would've thought so, except Stephanie's never sincere. Stephanie admits she had it coming. But she needs Bryan to understand. They never wanted Daniel Bryan to be champ – everyone knows that. They went to great lengths to stop him, and Stephanie admits her emotions got in the way. Daniel: “How do you think my wife felt?” At every opportunity, Bryan was slapped in the face. They even bring up the waterboarding. Brie was told not to do anything, and Brie respected Bryan's request. Stephanie: “You did it on your own.” Daniel Bryan proved Stephanie wrong. Stephanie says she just wanted to give the Director of Operations a backbone and be credible. But Kane went into being a Demon, and it went too far. Stephanie has been with HHH in ambulances and hospital beds, and it's an awful way for a wife to be. And for all of that, she is sorry.

It's a complete apology: for what Kane did, for all the heartache, everything. The crowd doesn't buy it, though. Neither does Daniel. They think Stephanie's still full of it. Stephanie doesn't know how else ot prove it – she asks Daniel to come to the ring and look her in the eyes to see her sincerity. The crowd smells a trap a mile away.

Daniel knows he'll see a liar in those eyes, and that at the snap of the fingers, Kane can attack him OR Brie. Yes, Daniel's head hurts, and as of now he can't move his neck, but he has never given up. He's cleared for this Sunday, and he will not give up then, either. He knows what Stephanie thinks (that Kane will take him out), but he promises that if Kane takes Bryan down, Bryan will take Kane with him to Hell.

Stephanie says she hasn't seen Kane all day, but she locked away the mask for protection. And yeah, Daniel can't compete until Sunday, but Brie can. So Stephanie will make it up to them: a chance to make them both champions. It's Tamina on Sunday, but tonight, Brie Bella gets the first shot at Paige. And that is tonight, In This Very Ring. Heck, Stephanie will even let Bryan be at ringside. And that match is RIGHT NOW! Er, I mean, after the break.

Uh-oh. The mask is gone.

Divas' Title: Brie Bella (challenger) v. Paige (champion). Lockup, into the ropes, and Paige grabs a headlock takeover. It gets one. Brie reverses to a headscissors and leaping snapmare, then a dropkick for one. Paige controls the hair and screams, getting a hairpull slam. Paige stomps away in the corner and gets a Perfectplex for one. Brie with a back elbow, but Paige knocks her into the ropes and works the knees to the head before shrieking. Brie with a kick to the head from her back, then a running knee, as Lawler screams trap. Brie goes up, but Paige cuts her off and follows. Cole brings up that Brie's not exactly #1 Contender as Paige gets a superplex. And here's Kane. Bryan races to the ramp and stands his guard as everyone looks around for him... and he comes out from THROUGH the ring and drags Brie! Bryan attacks Kane, who shoves him aside and keeps trying to drag Brie to hell. Bryan attacks again to no avail as Kane stalks Brie. Brie cowers in the corner as Kane grabs her ankle and drags her to the ring. But Bryan has a wrench and smokes Kane with it upside the head. He checks on Brie, which allows Kane to sit up. Brie escapes as Bryan throws himself to Kane for a chokeslam. Call the match 2:41 as that's when Kane grabbed Brie. But Brie didn't run – why??? – and Kane has her cornered. He drags Brie through the mat, but Brie kicks away and runs for it. Brie hides behind WWE officials as they all check on Bryan and help him to the back. Kane laughs as he sets his pyro off.

Oh, the match? Call it 3/4*. I will say I'd like to see a complete match between the two. Really. Stop laughing.

Quote from my minion: “Yeah, but can Daniel Bryan change a tire?”

Cole uses his sober voice to recap what we just saw.

Brie is shaken in the back as Bryan is being checked out by doctors. Stephanie tries to apologize again, saying she had no idea and she knows Daniel doesn't believe her. Bryan promises to be at Extreme Rules, and says Stephanie will regret bringing Brie into this. Stephanie's apologies understandably fall on deaf ears. Brie: “GET OUT, YOU BITCH!”

It's been a night of eerie overtones, says Cole, as we see the opening segment one more time to prove it.

Meanwhile, Renee Young says Cena's now ready to talk. Cena slams the door on his locker room and apologizes for brushing Young off earlier. He says he's been proven right: Wyatt's goes to great lengths to manipulate. But he was also wrong about something. He thought the WWE Universe turned its back on Cena. They haven't. Yeah, everyone was having fun, and there was still passion, and passion is hope, which is fight. Tell Bray Wyatt that the mind games stop on Sunday. He has special plans. He's gonna buy Bray a mule, and he'll teach it to sing. That way, Bray can sing alongside the mule. (Insult implied but not stated.) It will be the last time. Because on Sunday, he'll have the whole fist in his face and the whole foot in his ass. Oh, it's ON!

Bad News Barrett is on his podium and has a gavel! He's dressed for action, though. He has some Bad News for Rob Van Dam: Then, Now, Forever? No, for RVD it's just Then. Then is the last time RVD was relevant. Heck, Barrett was in diapers the last time RVD won the I-C gold. And after tonight, RVD will be in diapers, drinking meals through a straw, thanks to BNB. Cole: “Wade was in diapers as a teenager?” That match is NEXT!

Children of the Corn, Nightmare on Elm Street, Aliens... we got all the horror films covered?

#1 Contenders Finals: Bad News Barrett v. Rob Van Dam. Barrett forces RVD into the corner, but it's a clean break. RVD with an armbar, but Barrett punches out only to get armdragged. Armdrug? Crowd is split as RVD gets a waistlock and drop toe hold. Headlock takedown as Langston looks one. Barrett gets a one-count on a rollover, then the two get vertical. Barrett shoves off, but RVD slams on the breaks and low bridges Barrett. RVD with a baseball slide and apron moonsault (which almost missed!). Back in, it gets two. Back to the headlock, and again Barrett with a one-count on the rollover. Barrett shoves off and gets an elbowsmash, knocking RVD out of the ring. Outside, Barrett sends RVD into the barricade before mocking RVD's chant (“B!N!B!”). RVD visits the announce table, and back in, it gets two. Barrett with a punch and whip, but RVD gets a kick and leg cradle for two. Shoulders to the gut in the corner, but Barrett reverses a whip and stops RVD's back leapfrog with a kick to the gut. RVD falls outside as Barrett celebrates and we go to break.

RVD/BNB, part two. Barrett, of course, has the chinlock as we come out of break. A nice “RVD” chant starts up as he elbows out, then unloads with rights. Barrett reverses the whip, but RVD backflips over Barrett only to be caught in the Bossman Slam for two. Second-rope elbow for Barrett gets two, but not right away. Barrett works RVD's back and sends him into the buckle, adding a boot choke. Split chants again as Barrett gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to the chinlock. Barrett switches to a surfboard instead, then back to the chinlock. RVD elbows out again, getting a cradle for two and a superkick. RVD calls for Rolling Thunder, but Barrett is ready. RVD switches to clotheslines and the stepover enzuigiri. But before we can continue, Cesaro approaches the ring, but Swagger attacks him from behind. Cesaro gets the better of that, but back in, RVD ducks the Bull Hammer and gets the spinkick. Rolling Thunder follows. RVD goes up top for the Frog Splash, but he has to cut off Cesaro and the splash hits knees. Bull Hammer ends it at 11:18. I could've done without the cluster on the outside, but unlike with Russo at least all of it made sense. **1/4 Langston is ready.

Meanwhile, RVD is trying to get back up, but Cesaro attacks from behind at Heyman's orders. Cesaro stomps away, but Swagger cuts it off and attacks Cesaro. Swagger with the old Red White and Blue Thunder Bomb on Cesaro. WE THE PEOPLE! And now he turns to RVD just to make a point. Colter's calling shots now, and Swagger tries to nail RVD, who reverses and gets a springboard thrust kick. Swagger bails while he's ahead, and RVD does a long-distance Five-Star. There's your triple threat for Sunday. Heyman is not amused.

Another look at how the Shield took over SmackDown on Friday. Which means up next is our main event: Roman Reigns against Randy Orton!

Ambrose says the clock is ticking on Evolution. They will prove evolution has passed Evolution by, and they will chew them up and spit them out. Rollins says Evolution is all about flaunting their power. They show their opulence because they think those are symbols of power, but those are just small things done to make people feel bigger. The Shield's fists are the true power. When Evolution steps in the ring, they'll find out what true power is. For years, Orton said he was the future. But Reigns believes him to be the past. He is today, tomorrow, the future. Believe it.

Hey, who said Barrett was going to win the I-C title tournament? This guy.

Meanwhile, on SmackDown, Dean Ambrose will defend against Alberto Del Rio, Ryback, and Curtis Axel, but in a handicap match.

Because it's St. Louis, Orton gets a few cheers as he heads to the ring. Wisely, instead of saying where he's from, they say “representing Evolution”. But first, HHH talks. He says that on Friday, the Shield took out 11 guys, and HHH ain't even mad. He's impressed. The Shield are reminding him... of them. Orton says the Shield thinks they're the new Evolution. But Batista says there's a problem with that: Evolution is still around. HHH brought Shield into the the WWE, and he'll take them out with Evolution. On Sunday, they will adapt or they will perish.

Main event: Randy Orton v. Roman Reigns. They've already ditched the half-masks. But before we begin, RIC FLAIR IN THE HOUSE! The Shield don't react as Flair enters the ring, but Evolution applauds and welcomes him back with warm embraces. And now Flair has a mic as I assume no match.

“Is this St. Louis, Missouri?” Yes, Ric, it is. “Have I ever been here before?” Yes. “Well I have, and I've had a lot of fun, thank you. But what I'm here tonight is to tell the whole world that it's great being in the ring with men that exude what this business is all about: DOMINANCE. Now I ran for years with the Four Horsemen. Ran up and down the road; we ran wild. But we controlled the marketplace. We styled – WHOO – and we profiled. The same could be said for Evolution. Good Lord, Dave: I miss seeing you all on Saturday night. You too, buddy [HHH]. You were always home eating a ribeye.

You know, in my years on the road, I have seen everything come full circle. And I mean, the word 'greatness' come full circle. And then tonight, I'm surrounded with superstars that exemplify power, style, and grace. But what I'm talking about now...

...is the Shield!” Batista does a double-take as Flair shakes the hands of each Shield member. Orton is absolutely annoyed. Flair goes to leave as Orton asks what the heck just happened. Flair walks off.

The match: Reigns blocks Orton and pounds away on the ropes. Orton comes back with headbutts and right hands, but cuts off a rally with a shot to the eye. Orton dumps Reigns and follows, and the war continues on the outside with Reigns getting a headbutt. Orton with a suplex try on the floor, but Reigns blocks three times before reversing. Reigns rolls in and back out, and he throws Orton in as Orton falls back out. Reigns follows with another headbutt. Orton reverses a whip into the steps as the crowd starts a Hounds of Justice chant. Orton glares at Ambrose and Rollins, begging them to hit him in the back, but HHH comes over to stop that. Orton slams Reigns's head into the steps and throws him in, then follows, getting one. Orton with a hairpull and chinlock. Reigns punches out of it, but Orton reverses a whip and sends Reigns out with a clothesline. He pulls Reigns back in and gets the Draping DDT try, but Reigns avoids it so Orton pounds some more. Hammer Throw, but Reigns pops out with a clothesline. Whip is reversed, but Reigns with a leaping lariat and running clothesline. Big right hand drapes Orton on the bottom rope, so it's Drive-By Dropkick time. He taunts HHH before signalling, and the Superpunch... no, HHH yanks Reigns' leg, and Orton gets the backbreaker. Everyone fights on the outside, with Ambrose on HHH and Rollins on Batista. Ambrose is sent over the table, and HHH helps Batista and throws him into the apron. Meanwhile, in the ring, Reigns shoves out of the RKO and gets the Superpunch. He heads outside and attacks Batista, and HHH steps in as it's all thrown out at 4:43. It's 3 on Reigns as the other two are down, and HHH and Orton work on Reigns. Batista throws Ambrose back into the announce table, and Rollins goes flipping into the barricade. Reigns eats steps from a double-team as they go back to Rollins. Orton picks Ambrose up and throws him to HHH, who gives him a spinebuster on the floor. HHH with knees to Rollins as Reigns gets double-teamed. The whole Shield is down as Orton poses. Batista and Sign Guy get in a verbal argument. HHH and Batista remove their dress shirts to keep up the fight. Ambrose and Reigns are thrown in the ring as Orton stomps away on Reigns. Big punt to Ambrose's chest. Orton chokes away on Ambrose. HHH begs Ambrose to come on, and when he does, it's a clothesline. Pedigree try to Ambrose, but Rollins with the flying knee to take out HHH. The Shield now have numbers on Orton and Batista, and they clear the ring of everyone... but HHH. Reigns spears the life out of HHH. They're ready to give him the Triplebomb, but Orton and Batista have chairs. The Shield cut them off and steal the chairs, and Evolution bails. Give the match * and the post-match insanity another **.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Man, that middle hour was bad, but the final hour was good. It's somewhere in between for the show itself. I had to quote Ric Flair in full because he's Ric Flair, and it was a big deal. (As a side note: how did CRZ do it?) We opened with an epic moment of creepy, had more horror movie moments, but the faces wouldn't back down. This is what you need on a go home show.

STATS:

MATCH TIME: 41:29 over nine matches

BEST MATCH: Usos/Rybaxel

WORST MATCH: Sheamus/O'Neil

NIGHT MVP: Not Zack Ryder, I'll say that. Let's go with Bad News Barrett.

FINAL SCORE: Let's see, one good hour, one bad hour, a little mediocrity, low wrestling, a hot finish, Ric Flair... I punt. Call it 4.5 and feel free to disagree. It was middling, to say the least.

Later this week, if I remember, I'll do a How I'd Book It for Extreme Rules! See you then, and get ready for Sunday! Now, let's vent.