Impact
Wrestling
Date: May 29,
2014
Location:
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Tazz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
After last
week, the only hope that I have is that the focus is spread out a
little bit, rather than having almost everything being about the new
trio. We're coming up on Slammiversary with Eric Young defending
against MVP, but now we also have to deal with Dixie Carter not being
ok with MVP's actions. Let's get to it.
We open with
a video on the trio's dominance and desire for power with a lot of
clips from last week.
Here's Bully
Ray to say that he's obsessed with six people here in TNA. They all
have bullseyes on their backs and he promises to put them all through
tables. There are six tables standing up next to the ramp with names
on them: Lashley, EC3, Kenny King, MVP, Spud and Dixie Carter. Ray
heads to the ring and calls out anybody for a fight right now. He
gets MVP in wrestling gear but the boss is walking slow. MVP says
this isn't happening tonight and there's no fun in coming to the ring
for a fight. Well, at least not on his own.
King and
Lashley come out as well but EC3 and Spud slide into jump Ray. The
trio gets in as well and Ray is in big trouble. EC3 and Spud bring
the Spud table to the ring but Eric Young, Austin Aries and the
Wolves come in for the save. The heels leave but Spud gets caught.
Aries wants a six man tag and Ray wants it next. As a preview, Ray
hits a middle rope powerbomb to drive Spud through the table.
MVP/Bobby
Lashley/Kenny King vs. Wolves/Austin Aries
This is
joined in process in a big brawl on the floor as we come back. It's
Lashley throwing Aries around to get us going legally before choking
away. Aries comes back with some kicks to the leg as Edwards and
King come inside for brawling as well. Aries escapes the powerslam
and low bridges Lashley to the floor. King is sent outside the same
way, followed by Richards (with his heavily taped ribs) sending MVP
out to join them. The Wolves hit stereo dives and Aries comes off
the top to take out Lashley as we take a break.
Back with
King in trouble but MVP throws in a kick from the apron to put
Edwards in trouble. Lashley comes in off the tag and throws Eddie
around with ease. He drives shoulders in the corner before it's back
to MVP for a hard lariat and two. King comes back in but Edwards
flips out of a German suplex and makes the tag to Aries.
Austin fights
hard but gets caught in a running powerslam from Lashley. Aries
escapes the Royal Flush though and nails the brainbuster on King.
Back to Richards who goes up and rips the tape off his ribs, only to
have the double stomp hit King's shoulders. Lashley spears him down
though and MVP hits a Drive By for the pin on Edwards at 14:50.
Rating: C.
Not bad but the injury was clearly going to be the focal point of the
match. I'm kind of surprised they had this match here instead of
swapping some people in for a big match at the pay per view. I'm
really hoping Dixie's team doesn't hook up with the trio but it
certainly looks like we're heading that way.
Bram tells
Magnus to be out there for his match.
EC3 is
worried about going through a table but Dixie says don't worry about
it because she has business with MVP.
Tigre Uno
vs. Bram
Bram runs
Tigre down to start and growls at him with some freaky eyes. Uno
fights out of a choke but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. An
Impaler DDT gets the pin on Tigre at 2:08.
Post match
Magnus has to stop Bram from killing Tigre with the metal rod. Bram
says the old Magnus would have ripped the mask off and beaten him
senseless. Magnus says maybe Bram needs a better opponent. Maybe
someone a little crazy. Maybe a former World Champion. Maybe....it
should be Willow.
Anderson asks
Gunner what's up with him and Shaw. Gunner says Anderson knows what
it's like to be in the military and Shaw just needs someone to talk
to. They're a team tonight.
Brittany
wants Madison Rayne's help against the Beautiful People tonight.
Madison tells her to not have the match and Brittany reluctantly
agrees.
Gunner/Mr.
Anderson vs. BroMans
The BroMans
jump Gunner and Anderson to start and it's Gunner in early trouble.
Double teaming ensues and Robbie gets two off a middle rope knee
drop. Gunner comes back with a bad looking fall away slam and it's
off to Anderson to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Mic
Check sets up a top rope headbutt from Gunner for the pin on Robbie
at 3:14.
Rating: D.
Just a glorified squash here as Anderson vs. Gunner seems to be an
upcoming story, even though Anderson vs. Storm was set up over the
last few weeks. The BroMans have gone from Tag Team Champions to
jobber tag team in just a few weeks, even though there's almost no
one to challenge the Wolves.
Post
match the Menagerie comes out to freak out the BroMans. The goofy
guys (the BroMans if that's not clear) get destroyed.
Gail
Kim agrees to be Brittany's partner.
Here
are Dixie and Ethan to call out MVP. The trio comes out and Dixie
offers some help, but MVP says he's got power and a title shot, so
why does he need the Carters? Dixie threatens to go to Dallas and
tell the board what kind of abuse of power MVP has been showing. So
the board of directors doesn't even watch the show? MVP says he has
a ton of money, which Dixie calls dirty. MVP says he'd love to play
a game of money chicken and see who blinks first.
Eric
and Bully come out with weapons but Ray says don't do it and wait for
the time and place. MVP says it won't go well for the champion and
Eric should just lose the title and go fish. Bully wants to go now
but Eric stops him. “Time and place. Where were you a few seconds
ago when you said that?” MVP makes Ray vs. Eric with EC3 as the
referee. Ray says no but MVP threatens to fire him.
Ray
says go ahead but Dixie asks who is going to pick up the pieces and
fight her and MVP? Eric doesn't have the ego or stomach to fight
this war. Also, isn't Bully from New York, because New Yorkers don't
quit. Ray says he'll never quit until Dixie is gone. All the people
want Dixie out of here forever and promises to put all five people in
the ring through tables.
We
look at EC3 injuring Angle's knee a few weeks back. Earlier
today, Angle said the knee rehab is going well even though he's still
in a cast. He thanks the fans for their support.
Beautiful
People vs. Brittany/Gail Kim
Brittany
comes out and then runs up the ramp to point at Gail during her
entrance. Angelina pops Brittany with forearms and a shoulder to
start before running shaking her hips a bit. Velvet
comes in for some choking in the corner but Brittany trips her up for
two. The Beautiful People take her back into the corner for some
double teaming before Brittany finally dives over for the tag.
Brittany tags herself in and says she has this, only to miss a Tajiri
handspring into a moonsault. Angelina kicks her head off with the
Botox Injection to give Velvet the pin at 5:40.
Rating:
D+. Totally basic match here
but the problem is the story. As I've been saying for weeks now,
this is the same stuff we've been seeing forever with the Beautiful
People and it hasn't been interesting in forever. It's like they're
just completely out of ideas and they're doing the same stuff over
and over again.
Ray
says if he beats Eric he'll be #1 contender. They respect each other
though, because that's just what you do in TNA.
After a break
and Brittany is still in the ring. She calls Madison down for a talk
and asks her why she wouldn't team up against the Beautiful People
tonight. Madison says this is getting weird for her. The issues
with the Beautiful People have been going on for years and there are
some things that only her and the Beautiful People know about. She
won't be responsible for Brittany being dragged into that. Brittany
says she'll accept responsibility and only wants to be with Madison.
Madison asks
what Brittany just said and Brittany gets close to her and repeats
it. Rayne shoves her away and says this just went a bit too far.
Brittany needs to keep her distance but that's too far. Brittany
freaks out and asks why Madison doesn't like her. Cue the Beautiful
People who say that's the real Madison Rayne and they made her that
way. Madison says she's not like either of them and that she's
coming for the Title next week.
The trio
wants to do business with EC3 and he's kind of interested.
Bully Ray
vs. Eric Young
Non-title.
King is guest ring announcers, EC3 is guest referee, Lashley is guest
enforcer and MVP is guest timekeeper because this idea hasn't been
done to death before. Lashley is holding Eric's title. Ray actually
starts with an armdrag but Young nails a pair of his own before
dropkicking Ray to the floor. King gets in a cheap shot but Young
comes out to stand guard.
Back with the
guys still being tentative and not wanting to fight each other while
also having to watch the trio on the floor. Ray finally gets tired
of dealing with it (and we're running out of time) and kicks Carter
in the face. The trio comes in and beats both guys down for a no
contest at roughly 10:00. I'm not going to rate this as a lot of it
was during the break and there was barely any wrestling at all.
Samoa Joe
returns for the save and does the always awesome side step of a King
dive. A MuscleBuster to King ends the show.
Overall
Rating: D. Do you remember back
in the Aces and 8's clubhouse when they threw darts to pick out their
next targets? TNA feels like they've put every old booking idea on a
dart board and throw darts to pick what they put on the shows. This
week's show was better than last week's as they had some other stuff
get focus, but at the same time it had the same lack of energy that
TNA constantly deals with.
Above
all else though, the moment they lost me this week was when Dixie
Carter said Ray didn't have the ability to fight this war. I
actually said out loud, “Why does it have to be a war?”. We just
got done having a nearly two year war against Aces and 8's, and now
that team's leader is on the other side of a war? Why do we need to
do this same thing again? Between that and the two heel groups
seeming to merge or at least have common goals (albeit with issues
between the leaders), it feels like we're doing the same thing that
people complained about for over a year. Why would I want to watch
that again?
Results
MVP/Kenny
King/Bobby Lashley b. Wolves/Austin Aries – Drive By to Richards
Bram b. Tigre
Uno – Impaler DDT
Gunner/Mr.
Anderson b. BroMans – Flying headbutt to Robbie
Beautiful
People b. Brittany/Gail Kim – Sky pinned Brittany after a Botox
Injection from Love
Eric Young
vs. Bully Ray went to a no contest when Kenny King, Bobby Lashley and
MVP interfered
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
Because of those goofy guys, I changed my avatar.
ReplyDelete"So the board of directors doesn't even watch the show?"
ReplyDeleteCan you blame them?
If they watched the show, they'd be the Bored of Directors.
ReplyDeleteThat got a chuckle out of me.
ReplyDeleteWould explain why they keep pouring money into this crap year after year.
ReplyDeleteIs there some sort of stipulation that TNA may only run the same six ideas over and over? Like, does the company not receive their cash from Panda if they try and have a different thought?
ReplyDeleteIt's the only theory I can come up with, other than blinding, over-powering, I-think-I-shit-my-pants-but-I-Can't-tell-yet ignorance.
Now your catchphrase has never been more fitting! You're just tooooooooo DAMN fruity!
ReplyDeleteI do like that they're setting it up so MVP has multiple challengers after he wins the title: Samoa Joe, Aries, Bully. (Does EY have to go off TV for a while and promote/shoot his Animal Planet show?) And at some point they'll probably do the HHH/Batista storyline and have Lashley defect from Black Evolution with a face turn.
ReplyDeleteMy fear is that TNA will take those feuds -- which they could stretch out for months of interesting material -- and fire through them in like three weeks.
Looks like my sleep idea was the absolutely correct one last night. Okay, maybe not absolutely correct, but at least a better one.
ReplyDeleteTommy, I'm impressed that you watched a 2 hour wrestling show AND iMPACT in the same night and provided a timely review of both.
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to think Tommy has invented time travel.
ReplyDeleteTommy is DBry?
ReplyDeleteNo, but maybe he worked with Bryan.
ReplyDeleteBecause, yeah, that is something TNA would do.
ReplyDelete:bust out laughing:
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the jump to #4.
ReplyDeleteHe'll be three by EOD
ReplyDeleteThanks. I do it every week.
ReplyDelete