Clash Countdown: #27

The Netcop Retro Rant for WCW Clash of the Champions XXVII (June 1994)

- Live from Charleston, South Carolina

- Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan and Jesse Ventura.

(Apologies for any formatting weirdness, but this is from close to 20 years ago, back when we used to chip blog posts into stone slabs.  It's also one of my first true Retro Rants.)  

- Opening match:  WCW World tag team title:  Cactus Jack & Kevin

Sullivan v. The Nasty Boys.  This, like most of the card, is a rematch

from Slamboree.  That match was one of my favorite matches, ever.  This

is not as good because it's a straight tag team match and 3/4 of the

participants are shitty at straight tag team matches.  Two referees here

for no reason in particular.  (No reason needed!  Referees for everyone!)  Not too painful to watch, because WCW

allows them one last flirtation with hardcore wrestling before the

arrival of Hulk Hogan puts Cactus Jack on a permanent leash.  (And then WWF put him in a restraining mask.)  Sags and

the Sullivan brothers brawl outside the ring and Jack DDTs Knobs for the

pin to retain the titles.  Not bad, and an enjoyable opener.  **1/2

- Guardian Angel promo.

- Guardian Angel v. Tex Slazenger.  The Angel is of course Ray Traylor,

and this is the debut match for the gimmick.  Speaking of bad gimmicks,

ol' Tex is currently stinking up the WWF as everyone's favorite hog

farmer, Phineas I. Godwinn.  

(Geez, this was written before he even started switching gimmicks around.  So basically I was doing a retrospective on a show that wasn't even four years old at that point?)  

And this match is a squash.  Angel gives

Tex three "strikes" (ie. shots) before he flips out and ends it with the

Bossman slam.  One of the better gimmicks for Traylor, to be sure, but

doomed to failure for legal reasons.

- Extended footage of Hulk Hogan's limousine pulling into the building

is shown, as Bobby fires off a couple of OJ jokes.  Back when they were

still funny.  (Of course now that he's in prison, they're back in vogue.)  

-  WCW World TV title match:  Larry Zbyszko v. Steven Regal.  Here's the

short version of this feud:  Regal was acting like a pompous ass and

generally pissing on Zbyszko's leg (much like Scott Hall today) so one

day while interviewing him, Zbyszko decided to deck him and come out of

retirement.  They fought at Slamboree in a non-title match to prove

Larry's worth, and that earned him a title shot, which he also won,

which was aired on Worldwide (I think).  This is the rematch.  Steven

Regal is my god at this point, and I wish he'd remember how good he was

in 1994 and go back there again.  (But keep the hair.)  By this time, these two have wrestled

each other twice and have a really awesome groove going together.  Both

guys are total professionals and know how to keep a match from getting

boring, and their styles mesh perfectly here.  The crowd is very

appreciative throughout, as Regal draws monster heel heat.  When was the

last time that happened?  (This was of course written before he ever went to the WWF and got awesome.)  End comes as Zbyszko tries a Boston Crab, but

Sir William pulls him over with the umbrella, putting Regal on top, and

Regal then grabs onto the top rope for leverage and gets the pin and

his second TV title.  Terrific match.  ***1/2  (I'm dubious but don't have time to go back and redo it.)  

- Mean Gene interviews Dustin Rhodes.  Rhodes has been feuding with Col.

Parker's stable for a few months, and now he's asking Arn Anderson to be

his partner against Terry Funk and Bunkhouse Buck, in retaliation for a

beating at Slamboree.  Arn accepts on the condition that Dustin realizes

it'll be the old, sneaky, dirty trick playing Arn that shows up.

Dustin, like an IDIOT, agrees and of course when they wrestle at Bash at

the Beach, Arn turns on him and beats the hell out of him.  They just

don't write great storylines like that one anymore.  (But they're TELLING STORIES!  Like about how Damien Sandow dresses like other people for some reason!)  

- US title match:  Stunning Steve Austin v. Johnny B. Badd.  Another

rematch from Slamboree.  Austin had fired Parker the week before and was

better for it.  It was supposed to be Austin going over Flair for the

World title in the next few months, but Hulk showed up and screwed it

up, and screwed up Austin's career with it.  (Wait, what?  Like Austin was ever in line for the title.  That's why he left!)  Ironically, it was the

bitterness caused by this that created Stone Cold Steve Austin.  A damn

fine match that isn't as good as Slamboree, but it's a lot different and

different is good sometimes.  I just watched some Johnny B. Badd stuff

from 1991-ish this afternoon, and the difference between then and

1994-ish is ASTOUNDING.  The guy improved 200% in that time span.  Goofy

ending to the match:  Austin pulls out a gimmick (foreign object,

whatever you want to call it) from his tights and nails Johnny in the

gut, then small packages him for the pin.  Austin does a lousy job of

hiding it, however, and a second referee runs down and sees Austin drop

it, then restarts the match.  Badd cradles Austin and gets a quick pin

from the second referee, and is declared the new US champion!  We go to

break and a decision is promised when he come back.

- We're back, with no mention of the decision.  I grumble to myself and

check the PWI Almanac, which says that it was Badd by DQ.  Good enough

for me.  (Jesus, back when I had to use PWI to check results stuff instead of the multiple sites dedicated to exactly that.)  

- Hulk Hogan comes out to a decent pop.  Boos can be heard, however.  He

challenges the winner of the Flair-Sting match later in the show.  Flair

pops up on the video wall, to a pop at least 3x louder than Hogan got.

Keep in mind that WCW turned Flair heel not two weeks prior to this in

order to prevent exactly that sort of thing from happening.  This is why

I hate Hogan so much.  (Among other reasons.)  

- Main event:  "Unification" match:  WCW World champion Ric Flair v.

Bogus World champion Sting.  Flair gets an amazing pop, half face/half

heel.  Sting gets an even louder face pop.  Hulk didn't get half of what

either guy got.  The subplot here is that Sherri Martell has been

showing up in the front row of WCW shows for weeks now, and no one knows

who she's managing.  Once again, before we start, I feel the need to

reiterate that this match unified NOTHING and Sting's "title" was

WORTHLESS.  Sherri comes down with her face painted like Sting and sits

in his corner.  This is about the closest these two got to having that

big epic showdown that everyone was waiting for but never happened.

The first Clash of Champions was too soon for Sting to win.  He was too

injured at Bash 90 and the match was too bogged down with storyline.

This had a great reason for existing (The World title controversy), a

good storyline (They hate each other...what more do you need?) and GREAT

heat.  It's not a great match, but it's really, really good.  Lots of

stalling from Flair to start, which drags it down but gives Flair

mega-heat.  Flair is the king, I swear.  It amazes me that WCW could

manage to put Flair over as the biggest babyface champion they'd had in

years, then ask him to turn heel again on two weeks' notice and watch as

he puts every other heel in the federation to shame.  The man could do

it all.  And WCW pissed it away for Hulk.  It gets *really* good 15

minutes in as Flair takes over.  Sting makes the comeback and starts

rockin' and rollin' on Flair, showing more moves than in all of his 1998

matches combined.  Flair rolls out and Sting tries a plancha, but Flair

pulls Sherri in the way and Sting wipes her out.  Sting is in shock over

it, and is distracted enough trying to help her up that Flair can simply

roll him up and pin him to unify the titles.  Holding the tights, of

course.  ****

(Here's the later version from the Flair DVD and a couple of others:)

And don’t even get me started on the reasons behind this match.  Sting was the International World champion and Flair was the actual WCW World champion, and just leave it at that.  Flair goes for the arm to start, but Sting keeps kipping up.  They trade hammerlocks and Sting shoves him down, so Flair bails to the ramp and regroups.  Back in, Flair grabs a headlock, but Sting escapes and gets a press-slam.  And hey, why not another one?  Flair bails again and stops for a Flair Flop outside, and stalls.  Back in, Flair goes to the eyes and tries a chop, but Sting is having none of that.  He hiptosses Flair and follows with a trio of clotheslines, and Flair bails again.  Way too much stalling thus far.  Back in, Flair finally takes over with a cheapshot, but Sting no-sells and comes back with a hiptoss, only to whiff on a dropkick.  Flair goes for the leg, but Sting comes back and Flair bails again.  Flair decides to start chopping, but Sting fires back…and misses the Stinger Splash.  And NOW Flair takes over, dumping Sting behind the ref’s back and laying in the chops.  Back in, Flair necksnaps him on the top rope and drops a knee.  Another one gets two.  Back to the chops, and a backdrop suplex, but Sting escapes the figure-four.  Flair gets a back elbow and grabs a sleeper, but Sting fights out of it and sends Flair into the corner.  Sting knocks him down and gets a sloppy slingshot into the corner, but Flair bails.  Sting suplexes him back in for two.  Flair Flip and Sting clotheslines him off the apron, then brings him in for another clothesline, which gets two.  They go up and Sting brings him down with a superplex, but goes for a flying splash and misses.  Flair gets a suplex, but Sting no-sells and hiptosses him out of the corner, into a dropkick and a press-slam.  A clothesline puts Flair on the floor, so Flair slickly hides behind Sherri Martell, who was supposedly on Sting’s side that night.  Sting follows with a pescado and wipes out Sherri as a result.  No one ever said she was afraid to take a bump.  Back in, Sting gets a backslide for two.  Clothesline and he checks on Sherri, but Flair rolls him up for the pin at 17:11 to unify the belts.  I gave this a really good rating back in like 1998, but they didn’t click at all here and Flair seemed really off his game.  ***  Flair & Sherri reveal their alliance and team up on Sting afterwards, but Hulk Hogan makes the save, which doesn’t get half the pop they were probably banking on.  

After the match, Flair and Sherri hug, since it was all a ruse, of

course, then clobber Sting.  Hogan makes the save.  Oh, the irony.

- Everyone promptly forgets what a good match we just saw as Hogan poses

and challenges Flair to a match at Bash at the Beach.  Sting?  Who's

Sting?

The Bottom Line:

He ruined it all.

From 1989 - 1993, WCW was led by a parade of idiots, blunderers,

accountants, lawyers, old men and faded ex-wrestlers, none of whom could

both satisfy the bottom-line craving suits and put on a watchable

product.  Bill Watts tried but was fired for daring to have an opinion.

Things were terrible in 1990 under Ole Anderson, but Dusty Rhodes tried

everything new and original he could think of in 1991 to rebuild.  It

didn't work, but many of the stars built in that era (Austin & Badd to

name two) would stick around to help later on.  In 1992, Bill Watts gave

the federation a complete makeover before Eric Bischoff forced him out

in a power play typical of WCW.  In 1993, Ted Turner threw every cent he

could at WCW in a desperate attempt to boost the federation to the WWF's

level and the decision was made to put Sid Vicious on top for the bulk

of 1994.

Then, a few weeks prior to Starrcade 93, Vicious nearly stabbed Arn

Anderson to death with a pair of scissors and was promptly fired.  WCW

was left without their biggest draw and, more importantly, a credible

challenger for the monster Vader at Starrcade.  So they did what they

always did in their most desperate times of need:  They went back to Ric

Flair, hoping for a stopgap until they could start from square one, just

like they always did.  But the unthinkable happened:  WCW finally got it

right.

We're still not sure how or why it happened, but they put on a hot

Starrcade, followed it up with a good Clash of Champions, then blew

everyone away with Superbrawl IV, Spring Stampede and Slamboree.  The

quality was through the roof.  Flair was drawing like nuts as a babyface

and Sting was more over than ever before in his feud with Rick Rude.

WCW could do no wrong, and with Steve Austin and Johnny B. Badd in the

wings, being prepped for major star turns, they looked to be ready to

mount a major offensive against the WWF within weeks.  They even flirted

with a more mature, "hardcore" style by signing Terry Funk and allowing

Cactus Jack to book his own matches.

Then they signed Hulk Hogan.  And it all fell apart.  Flair was turned

heel to set up a hastily signed match between the two at Bash at the

Beach.  Sting was put on the backburner for more than a year.  Cactus

Jack was put on a virtual choke-chain and forced out of the federation

by the fall.  All of Hogan's friends came in and took away the spots

earned by WCW's rising talent.  Austin was jobbed out and humiliated.

Badd was stuck fighting the Honky Tonk Man in the opening matches.

Vader was relegated to ineffective heel while Brutus Beefcake fought

Hogan in the main event of Starrcade 1994.

For me, it was like watching a relative deteriorate due to disease.

After seeing WCW fuck it up for so long, then get it totally right, I

couldn't help but have a soft spot for them.

But Hulk Hogan ruined it all.  I never forgave him for that, and in fact

I stopped watching WCW entirely for 18 months following Bash at the

Beach, as my own personal protest.

This Clash represents the last truly great show WCW put on in 1994, and

is the turning point for them, as they went from penthouse to outhouse

in one month flat.  Had they continued with this level of quality, they

wouldn't have needed to wait until 1996 to overtake the WWF because

their product could have stood on it's own, with the talent they already

had.

But Hulk Hogan ruined it all.

(Yeah, well, he also drew a shitload of money in his first PPV and justified most of his ridiculous contract, so it's hard to blame him specifically.  However, the booking stuff revolving around him is another story.)  

As usual.

I highly recommend watching this show, and thinking hard about whether

or not it was worth ever signing him.

Later.