The PG Era Rant: Raw, 5.26.14

When last we left our heroes, they lay in peace. Never Forget those who sacrificed on this Memorial Day.

The PG Era Rant for Raw, May 26, 2014.

Live from the University, Knoxville, TN. Please inform Rebel and Crazzy Steve they're in the wrong building.

Your hosts are Cole, King, and Bradshaw, with Josh, Book, and A-Ry on the pre-show.

Your Pre-Show Report:

SIR NOT APPEARING ON THIS RAW: Santino Marella.

SUPERSTARS MATCHES: Big E Langston vs. Titus O'Neil, Ryback/Axel vs. Truth/Woods

RAW PREVIEW: The Shield and Evolution sign contracts; Daniel Bryan makes a decision; Sheamus faces Alberto Del Rio

Also announced: Paige vs. Alicia Fox for Payback made official.

Memorial Day tribute video to open.

From there, we go to the arena with the Authority. Cole informs us that Daniel Bryan made the trip to Knoxville and is in the building. Stephanie calls tonight's show “historic” and she feels good about it. It's because tonight is about choices – such as Daniel Bryan's choice. Will he do the right thing and surrender his title? (Crowd chants YES; Stephanie: “That's right! It's the right thing to do!”) And Daniel Bryan knows it's the right thing because he's the people's champion. And the people want to see the champ active and competing. Daniel Bryan, right now, cannot do it. Stephanie, in the long run, didn't want to be right about Bryan being incapable of championing, but Bryan's body gave out on him. Stupid B+ body. So in spite of Bryan wanting to do the right thing – and Stephanie encourages a chant for Bryan, because she knows he wants to defend it and they want him to, but it can't happen. So tonight, Bryan will do what's right and vacate.

HHH says he's sure Bryan doesn't want to surrender, but he's incapable of competing. So hopefully he'll make the right choice. Speaking of choices, every generation has a performer who becomes a superstar. Some people, when they get there, burn out. Some become legends. Why? Because they stand the test of time. Every month, every year, every generation, they remain dominant because they can adapt. Those that don't (like Bryan) just perish. The ones that last live forever. That's Evolution. So this Sunday, at Payback, the Shield will find out that you cannot stop Evolution. But first, a contract signing tonight in the ring. And the Shield's choice is: adapt and not show up, or sign and perish.

Stephanie has an announcement about the Pay-Per-View, and she calls out Brad Maddox. Brad is slow to come out, and honestly, he looks a little nervous. HHH: “Come on, TV time is money, let's go.” HHH explains the problem: in Seth Rollins' match with Batista, no non-officials could be at ringside – and HHH and Orton were official somethings. But Maddox named Ambrose and Reigns as commentators, which isn't Best For Business. HHH asks Maddox to explain himself. Maddox says he didn't want it, but that he was forced to. Stephanie hushes down Brad and says she knows Brad felt like he didn't have a choice. Which is why the Authority also has no choice but to bring out Kane.

JBL: “If Brad Maddox has a choice right now, he'd leave Tennessee.”

Lawler: “Don't just stand there, run!”

He tries to, but runs into a HHH right hand. Kane stands over Maddox, kicking him to the ground. Stephanie is enjoying this. She orders Kane to teach him a lesson. Kane picks Maddox up and holds the goozle for a long time before chokeslamming Maddox. From there, it's a Tombstone. Kane sets off the pyro (slight delay there) as the Authority looks down at what's left of Maddox... but Stephanie has more to say. See, on top of that, Maddox is fired. So there. Stretcher comes out for Maddox as JBL says he almost feels sorry for Brad.

Later tonight: Daniel's Choice. Plus, Bray Wyatt has a message for the entire CeNation.

Note: if Brad Maddox doesn't do something on Sunday, they've missed an opportunity. Even if it's failed interference.

Bo Dallas wants you to change for the better! Bo-lieve! Tonight!

Antonio Cesaro v. Rob Van Dam. Given that these two are challengers for titles on Sunday, I'm not betting on a clean finish. If Brad Maddox were still GM, I'd bet on a tag team match erupting. But first, Bad News: it's the first day of summer. But that's not the bad news. The bad news is that we can't fit in our swimsuits because we're fat. Also, on Sunday, “your precious RVD” will have his Indian Summer end. Cesaro attacks RVD when the latter is staring at Barrett with stomps and a back suplex. Uppercuts, but RVD with a leg cradle for one. Spin kick by RVD and he lands right hands, but Cesaro turns it into a Karelin suplex. Running uppercut by Cesaro, then a forearm and another runner. Cesaro stomps away in the corner, then a boot choke. Blind charge hits elbow, and RVD with a flying kick and over-the-top clothesline. Apron moonsault try, but Cesaro catches and throws him into the barricade, twice, as we go to break.

Cesaro/RVD, part two. Cesaro gets two off of whatever, three times over, then a one. Military press slam gets two. To the chinlock, but RVD fights out into a slugfest. RVD with a spinkick to win it for a double KO. RVD crawls over for one. Back superkick by RVD, into Rolling Thunder, for two. Cesaro reverses a whip but hits elbow, and RVD with a flying flip senton for two. RVD gets a slingshot plancha, then superkicks Barrett – who was just on his way to leave, so he says – for good measure. Back in, RVD with a high kick from close quarters, and the split-legged moonsault for two. Uppercut by Cesaro, but RVD gets the stepover enzuigiri. He's going up, kicking Barrett again for good measure, but Cesaro catches him with a German suplex and bridge for the win at 9:33. **3/4 But before we go anywhere, Sheamus races to the ring and Brogue Kicks Cesaro into next week. Heyman's face is priceless. Sheamus then shakes Cesaro's hand to rub it in.

Later tonight: Bray Wyatt has something to say to what's left of John Cena's fans! Plus, Daniel Bryan has a tough decision to make! And, a contract gets signed – place your bets as to who eats table!

I say Seth Rollins. As for Cesaro/RVD – interesting that they give Cesaro a win here. I would've had a DQ finish, and matches like this are why you have them. But the ending makes me think Cesaro's the favorite.

Let's Rewind to SmackDown, where Summer Rae screwed over Eva Marie. Something something Total Divas.

Eva Marie v. Summer Rae. Eva Marie's on Maxim's Hot 100. We remind you that Summer Rae was back last week and attacked Layla. Eva slaps Summer to start, then stops Summer and pulls the “your shoe's untied” trick – and it works! She knocks down Summer and mocks her blowing kisses, but Summer reverses to the corner and kicks away. Hairpull slam (Eva oversold it, but why not) gets one. Summer throws Eva's head to the mat and taunts her. Three times. Crowd loves this match so much a Daniel Bryan chant breaks out. More mat slams... and here comes Fandango and Layla! Summer Rae is understandably angry at seeing Layla kiss Fandango onstage, which allows Eva the rollup for the pin at 1:56. Yay, it was under two minutes and I don't have to rate it! Summer Rae throws a fit after the match.

Backstage, Orton talks to Batista when the Rhodes Brothers show up and ask why they're not booked. They are issuing an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Batista tells them to get lost, and Orton reminds them that he got them both fired. Cody notes about how they beat the Shield – who in turn has Evolution's number. Orton congratulates them on their momentum. Cody calls them lapdogs... and finally HHH shows up. Cody directs his challenge to Orton and Batista, and HHH makes it happen. Orton's up for the workup. Batista hates the term “skinny-jeaned sellout” that Cody used.

So Eva Marie is stuck up on the show and has shown signs of heeling in the ring... Summer Rae makes everyone's life miserable... and Layla is hanging out with that stuck-up Fandango... who am I rooting for? Well, I'll root for Layla. Deal with it.

More Memorial Day tribute video stuff.

Drew McIntyre v. El Torito. Let's get this out of the way now: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE! McIntyre shoves Torito from behind, and Torito draws the line in the sand in the ring. Each one encourages the other to cross, and Torito gets the better of it. A springboard is caught, but Torito reverses to an armdrag. A moonsault is caught and Drew slams Torito. Drew stalks Torito, but Torito lands on his feet only to get piefaced. Drew flings him into next week. Drew picks up Torito and points to Hornswoggle, then gets a stalling suplex into a fireman's carry. Drew climbs the ropes and tries a superplex, but the Matadors distract and there's a fight on the outside. Torito gores Drew's calf for the pin at 2:26... wait, what? 1/2* Hornswoggle attacks Torito from behind and tries to unmask him. Then he succeeds in yanking Torito's tail off his outfit. Torito runs around with a pain in the backside. This segment alone takes at least 2 points off of the final score.

Up next: Bray Wyatt to talk!

It was three years ago, Vince. Let it go. And yes, I'm certain that's it.

The de-tailing gets a replay and some Serious Voice from JBL and Cole. And we head back to the trainer as the Matadores beg him to re-attach the tail. El Torito's in pain.

He's here. We look back at last week, and we look forward to Payback. Of note: they cut two or three lines from the song, which makes the count seem shorter than it was. And Bray starts by leading another sing-along. He says the words are true – Bray has the whole world in his hands. The world leans on Bray because deep down, he wants what's best for everyone. The problem is that what's best isn't easy. Sacrifices must be made. We go to work and break our backs to keep the family fed, and we suffer while another man tells us who to be. But, when will you understand that it's all pointless? The poison is setting in, and the only way to cure a snakebite is anti-venom. So which one is Bray? Bray knows what his role is in this world: the necessary evil that the world needs. And in the end, if you're with Bray, you will stand by him; but if you're his enemy, you will fall. We all understand that Cena is an enemy to us all. But don't you worry, because on Sunday, he will be the last man standing (Bray, not Cena). But why should John be the only one punished? There's more to go around. “To get to the king, you must first go through the pawns.” (Crowd: CENA!)

And speaking of kings, may I have a word with Jerry Lawler? Well, Knoxville's close to Memphis. Lawler refuses. Bray: “How unfortunate.” And he sends Rowan and Harper to him. Will Lawler do it the easy way or the hard way? Bray just wants to talk – Cole, don't be a hero. You either, JBL. Rowan is leaning over Lawler. But JBL has had enough and goes to the ring, only to get intercepted by Harper. Rowan throws JBL into a discus lariat.

“Now, look what you've done, Jerry. Just come on in.” Lawler very nervously heads to the ring, looking at Harper and Rowan the whole time. “C'mon, Jerry, I ain't got all day.” Cole points out Jerry is in no condition to be picked on. Crowd chants for Jerry. Cole hopes Lawler doesn't do something foolish. Bray even provides a chair for Lawler to sit in. Lawler nervously sits down. Bray just wants to ask a few questions. First: are he and Cena friends? Sure they are. And Lawler's helped Cena reach the top, right? How? By calling on commentary all the nonsense about what a great man Cena is. But never once did he question Cena's morality – just bought it, like everyone else. Lawler has fed the poison, and it's now out of control. So does Lawler feel guilty? Do you feel any remorse for destroying lines in his corrupt name? How does being a liar feel? And did you think you'd get away with it? So, for what happens next, Bray's sorry it had to be Jerry, but it's a necessary evil – as Harper and Rowan pick Lawler up. Bray with the INVERTED LOOK OF DOOM as Cole is freaking out on commentary...

and Cena RACES to the ring to make the save, but the numbers are too much for Cena, too. Bray has Lawler hostage as Harper and Rowan pick Cena up. Bray chokes Lawler with his boot and says that at Payback he will hurt Cena. He will end him then, but as for now? He wants Cena to watch Lawler fall, and it'll be on Cena's hands. Sister Abigail's Kiss is loaded up... but the Usos now make more than enough number and help Cena clear the ring once and for all. Lawler retreats to the table as the two sides face off.

Cena: “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!” Bray has crossed the line. When Bray first got here, Cena was excited to see him (Bray: “I'm a god!”). Bray was different and charismatic, making people listen. But does BRAY listen to himself? He called himself a god! Lincoln said that a test of a man's character is power, and power has made Bray sick. Look at what Bray just tried to do: attack an innocent man because he disagrees! That's not necessary evil, that's just plain evil. The crowd is almost unanimously behind Cena here. Almost. Cena believes in who he is and what he does. He believes that Bray must be stopped, and that's what he'll do at Payback. It's no longer about who wins, it's about being the last man standing. Bray has accused Cena of living a lie, but now he wants to punish the innocent? At Payback, there will be justice, Cena-style. Justice may be blind, but for Bray, payback will be a bitch. This segment gets the 2 points back. Lawler checks on JBL at ringside as Cena raises the Usos' hands in the ring and the Family retreat in the aisle.

Later tonight: Daniel Bryan has to decide if he'll vacate! Plus, contracts!

This. So much this. Why couldn't we have more of this? Finally, you've made it clear: Bray is a hypocrite and evil, and getting behind Cena – no matter what Wyatt says about change – is what has to happen. I loved it.

JBL has been taken to the back.

Zack Ryder v. Alexander Rusev. Ryder has the US flag for Memorial Day. Pre-match he gets cut off trying to speak on Memorial Day. Of note: I called this match before Rusev appeared. WWE is predictable. Note: one of my globetrotting friends says Lana speaks Russian like an Australian speaks Spanish. Say what you will about that. Lana says that if you don't go forward in compliance with Mother Russia, you will be disciplined. There is no choice, just the future. Rusev says stuff. TO THE MATCH, as Ryder sticks and moves and gets an opening flurry before getting smashed into the ropes. Rusev mounts and works the back of the head. It's already Rusev Crush time. Tapout comes at 39 seconds. But Rusev won't let go, so Big E Langston races in to do something about it... and he gets beaten up too. But Rusev charges into a clothesline, and Langston recovers to send him out of the ring. Langston waves the flag to fire up the crowd.

Backstage, Alberto Del Rio is talking to Stephanie McMahon about something.

Tonight, contract signing! I wonder if a brawl will break out.

If that's our Memorial Day play-up, it's weird. After all, you have a kayfabe VIETNAM VETERAN who likely lost friends in war. Why not have him play it up? Meh.

Another Memorial Day bumper.

Randy Orton and Batista v. Cody and Dustin Rhodes. Hey, I think there's a six-man on Sunday. Batista and Cody start, with Batista backing Cody into the corner and landing shoulder rams. Blind charge eats boot, and Cody drops an elbow. Batista with clubbing blows, but Cody with the sliding uppercut and Dustin's in. Batista backs Dustin into the corner, and Orton comes in to take over. Dustin hooks the ropes to stop a powerslam, and he gets an Oklahoma Roll and a slam of his own for two. Cody in off the top with a shot to the arm. Orton goes to the eyes and gets mounted punches, but Cody escapes and works Orton over in the corner. The ref has to separate them, allowing Orton a shot to the gut. Cody fires back, but gets caught in the gut with a knee. Orton with a big stomp and Batista's in. Batista chokes Cody on the bottom rope, and back in, he works the arm. Short clothesline gets one. Cody tries to fight back but gets caught with a back elbow. Batista tries an Oklahoma Slam, but Dustin tags in and lands shots on Batista. Kneeling uppercut, but Orton cuts Dustin off and Batista gets a spinebuster for two. Orton in as Dustin is dumped, and he hits the pose as we go to break.

This just in: the June 23 Raw will be in Washington DC and it will be the 1,100^th Episode! Do I go?

Evolution/Brotherhood, part two. Batista has Dustin grounded and throws him into the ropes, getting a kidney punch. Batista drops his weight on Dustin, but Dustin stops another kidney punch and tries to fight back. Batista cuts off the tag and floors Dustin with a lariat for two. Dustin gets a springboard back elbow out of the corner, and the crowd is begging for the hot tag. HOT tag Cody, and he takes Orton down with the follow-on clothesline. Big kneelift and he goes to the apron, getting a springboard dropkick for two. Disaster Kick to Batista, and Orton is cut off on a blind charge, but the Disaster Kick lands into the RKO out of NOWHERE. A second RKO for good measure ends it at 10:07. Much better match when Batista wasn't in. BUT WAIT! It's actually an elimination match match, so we continue. Oh, and now it's No Holds Barred. So we resume – and I'm not counting the intermezzo in the timeframe. Orton and Batista surround Dustin, and despite Goldy's best effort it's a 2-on-1 mugging. Orton with the back suplex on the barricade. Batista throws Dustin into a barricade across the ring. Orton stands over Dustin and picks him up, and in the ring, it's the Draping DDT. But Dustin backdrops out only to turn around into a spear. Orton decides that's enough and gives Dustin an RKO. Batista wants the Batista Bomb, and Dustin eats it for the pin at 12:43. That next two minutes raised the match a bit. ***

Do you Bo-Lieve? You'd better, because he's next!

Now THAT'S more like it. There was definitely a shade or two of the Viper in that match. The more Orton goes psychotic, the better he is.

Sin Cara v. Bo Dallas. JBL has been released to ringside. He and Lawler shake hands and agree they'll never do that again. Dallas has the microphone and introduces himself. He says that Raw is the summit on the top of the mountain of his dreams. He's learned that we don't conquer the mountain, we conquer ourselves. All you have to do is Bo-Lieve! Lockup, and Dallas with a fireman's carry and he celebrates a little too much. As in, he high fives ringside. Cara catches him with a dropkick on the way in, then a plancha. Back in, Cara chops away in the corner, but Dallas with a Hammer Throw for two. Dallas with a suplex – that smile is so silly – and rolling kneedrops, but the third one is a handstand kneedrop. He celebrates himself again, then lands a back elbow. Cara cuts off a second one with calf kicks and an enzuigiri. Cara with chops and a moonsault press for two. Tajiri elbow follows, then the Angle Slam. Cara up top, but Dallas gets separation, and an alley-oop and tornado Bulldog wins it at 2:54. * Dallas almost looks surprised that he won. He does a victory lap around the ring, then returns and takes the mic to thank the crowd and his Bo-Lievers. But you don't get satisfaction from winning, you get it from effort. If you gave it your all, you're already a winner. Just Bo-Lieve! And he gives Cara a celebratory hug.

Up next, what will Bryan do?

I don't know if Bo Dallas has the talent to maintain this character, but they can push him all the way to the upper card just on how good he is at selling it. Seriously, this reminds me of Kurt Angle in his debut – the over-the-top celebrating, the victory laps, and so on. I loved it.

Your Main Event main event is the Usos facing Harper and Rowan in what appears to be a non-title match.

We look back at Brad Maddox getting beaten up and fired.

Stephanie is back. Earlier tonight, she and HHH said it was a night of choices. It's important to have an active WWE Champion... so let's cut to the chase: Daniel Bryan needs to do the right thing. It's time.

Daniel Bryan is wearing a neck brace on his way to the ring. He's in street clothes, but he has the gold. Stephanie offers a microphone and says she's glad to see him. It's a long road to recovery, right? And yeah, Stephanie could just strip Daniel of the title, but she doesn't want to martyr him. So Daniel needs to tell the fans why he must vacate, and that it's the right decision. They deserve an active champion. Epic matches. Unforgettable moments. Things Daniel can't do – he's not physically able. And Daniel's not selfish, so he'll do the right thing... for the fans, right? He needs to vacate.

Bryan says that becoming champ was the payoff to years of hard work. But Stephanie's right: the injury to his neck is worse than they thought. In no small part because of a man^H^H^Hdemon Stephanie can't control. Although tonight we saw better. Stephanie: “No one's lying about your condition.” Bryan agrees there's no shame in surrendering the title, healing, coming back, and regaining it...

Stephanie: “You're right, there is no shame.” She guarantees he will have the championship opportunity as soon as he's healthy.

Bryan really doesn't want to relive the last 8 months, as you can imagine. So there's no shame, because the fans deserve an awesome champion. But! But Stephanie wanted to put it on Bryan, and it's not about Bryan, but Stephanie. Stephanie has wanted to strip Bryan of the gold ever since Mania, when Bryan beat HHH. This isn't about the fans; Stephanie's doing it for Stephanie. And if Daniel vacated, it would negate everything he fought for and that the fans fought for. It would destroy the YES movement that began in defiance of the Authority. If they handed the titles over, it would be throwing it back in their face. So, the word from Daniel is one Stephanie doesn't hear often, or ever: NO.

NO! NO! A thousand times NO!

Stephanie says she was afraid of this. The people are messing with his brain, or maybe it's the injury. Stephanie didn't want to bring this up, but: two weeks ago, Brie put her hands on Stephanie. Now, Bryan didn't see it, so let's show everyone. Bryan approves of it... but you can't touch the boss. And she's both Brie's and Bryan's boss. Every action has consequences... so here's Daniel getting another chance to do it right. This Sunday, either Bryan surrenders the title, or Stephanie fires Brie. Stephanie walks off as the announcers yell at each other about whether any of this was justified.

Tonight, they sign a piece of paper!

Well, well... this is getting interesting, even if it means more Stephanie on your screen.

We look back to last Monday, when Alicia Fox upset Paige.

Alicia Fox v. Emma. They shot a few bubbles early during Fox's entrance. Whoops. Lockup goes nowhere, and Fox shoves Emma and tries a kick. Emma with a clothesline, but she goes into the corner. Blind charge misses, and Emma with the Tarantula and low corner splash. Fox refuses to be pulled out of the corner and walks off. But it's a ploy, as when Emma chases, Fox boots her hard in the head. Axe kick while Emma's draped on the apron follows, and back in, it gets two. Fox shoves Emma around and slaps her a bit in the corner. Emma responds with a slap of her own, and after a missed boot, Emma gets a cradle for the pin at 2:11. Fox is furious and cuts Emma off as she leaves, throwing her into the barricade. She tosses her back in, stomping away and getting the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. She tells off the ref and throws Emma out of the ring from the side suplex position. Alicia: “I don't lose, okay?” She heads to the announcers (who are not comfortable) and begins bullying around everyoneat ringside, ringing the bell over and over right in Lawler's ear. “I AM NOT A LOSER!” She slaps around some crew members as she leaves, even giving the trainer a wedgie and threatening a camereman She sprays soda into a crewman's face, and into a fan's, then does a Stone Cold salute on herself before throwing the cans at a crewman... and apologizing. 1/2*

Contract signing later! Adam Rose next!

Um... if you're going to give her a character and a push, would it hurt to give her wins?

John Cena narrates another Memorial Day bumper. This one played in the arena and got an ovation.

On the Payback Kickoff, we're getting a Mask vs. Hair match between Torito and Hornswoggle.

Damien Sandow (as Davy Crockett) v. Adam Rose. This began when Sandow was insulted because a crewman thought he was part of the Exotic Express in his wild frontier get-up. EUGENE IS DRESSED AS JOEY RYAN. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. JBL is cranky about the Entourage, which lets Lawler know he's back to 100%. Rose dances around the ring, but Sandow gets an armbar, which Rose somersaults out of ten times over. Sandow with a clubbing blow, but Rose holds Sandow away with bicycle kicking. Sandow charges and gets nailed anyway, and a shoulder block gets two. And now Zeb and Swagger arrive, harassing a member of Rose's entourage. The lemon, of course. Sandow tries a cradle and misses, and the Hennig Cutter gets the pin at 1:37. Swagger races in and beats up Rose. WE THE PEOPLE! Zeb Colter wants more punishment, but Swagger walks into a spinebuster and Rose goes into a brawl on Swagger. Rose keeps up the assault as Swagger tries to bail out. “Nobody touches my lemon!” The entourage is out to celebrate some more. On the good side, Zack Ryder is definitely not the rabbit. JBL is indignant.

Up next, it's Sheamus facing Alberto Del Rio! You remember that from the pre-show?

Darn it, I was hoping JBL would be gone for the whole show. When he's cranky, he runs over Cole and Lawler on commentary, and it's less fun.

Please explain why people watch Legends' House. Seriously.

Sheamus v. Alberto Del Rio. Wait, this just in: Sheamus v. Barrett will be on SmackDown. Lockup, and Del Rio forces Sheamus into the corner. Neither side gets a clean break, and evenutally Del Rio gets the better of it with kicks. Sheamus unloads with fierce rights, and after an awkward armdrag exchange, Sheamus gets the Finlay Roll for one. Sheamus goes up, and a second-rope kneedrop gets one. Del Rio retreats to the apron, and that just means it's Ten of Clubs time. Sheamus heads outside and sends Del Rio into the announcers' table, and back in, he's caught with a kick to the head. A second kick sends Sheamus to the outside as we go to break.

Sheamus/Del Rio, part two. Del Rio has Sheamus floored and applauds himself, then chokes away on the middle rope. (This is because Sheamus missed a Brogue Kick in the corner and got hit with a Backstabber.) Sheamus takes some rights and gets ticked, firing back. Irish Hammer connects, as does another, but a charge sends his shoulder into the post. Del Rio kicks Sheamus's head against the post, getting two. Del Rio punches and taunts Sheamus, which causes him to Hulk Up into the Irish Curse for two. Del Rio with an enzuigiri from his back, but a blind charge eats elbow and the Celtic Cross follows. Sheamus gets Del Rio in the corner, and an Oklahoma Slam is next coming out. Sheamus is ready for the Brogue Kick for real now, but he's disoriented and Del Rio gets the step-up enzuigiri. Low superkick follows for two. Armbar is escaped before it can be applied, and the Brogue Kick connects for the pin at 9:16. But Paul Heyman is your guest announcer and mocks him. And reminds us what Brock Lesnar did. Heyman keeps talking about how this Raw match has no meaning (not like Del Rio's a Paul Heyman Guy). And suddenly Sheamus turns to Heyman, allowing Cesaro to kick him in the back of the head. Cesaro with a series of mounted punches before officials pull him off. But he bursts through and continues the attack. Sheamus refuses to stop fighting, though, and Cesaro drives a knee into Sheamus's head and lands the Neutralizer. **1/4 Sheamus is being checked on by officials as Cesaro walks off triumphant.

Up next, our main event contract signing!

See, this is where Sheamus would be smart and state that he's not medically cleared for Payback, and well, he has 30 days so it looks like he's under no obligation to defend. Of course, Sheamus fights through everything, so that won't happen. Which means Cesaro will win, but Sheamus will have been injured and it won't mean as much. It's the little things that cut out a push.

Main event angle. With no Brad Maddox, Michael Cole is your host. The announcers have been hammering that this match at Payback is what they believe to be their final showdown. Cole leaves as Rollins takes the contract. Ambrose calls tonight historic, and even he says they won't be in the same ring after Sunday, because at Payback, one team will be eliminated, not just from the ring, but from the business. Reigns is tossing out all the chairs. Rollins says he doesn't buy the nonsense. It's gone past the 3-on-3 showdown signing a paper. Thus the clearing of the ring (which Ambrose helps in): it's time to get down to business. Rollins begins to look over the contract when Evolution emerges.

HHH wants to clarify what everyone's witnessing and what's about to be signed. When the contract is signed, it'll be the last time the Shield is in a Raw ring. Too bad, really. The Shield could've had it all. HHH can judge talent well – just look at Orton and Batista – and he looked at the Shield, and he remembered signing them to the WWE. He thought to himself at the time that they would change it all, that they were the future. But the Shield threw it away. And now, the irony: HHH is going to watch them sign the contract that ends their career. So, are they sure they want to do this? Do they really want to ensure that Sunday is the last we see of them?

Without responding to Evolution, first Rollins, them Ambrose, then Reigns sign the contract. Although Ambrose fumbles the pen as he does. Reigns then tosses the contract out of the ring at Evolution's feet. Now, it's Evolution's turn. First Orton, then Batista, then HHH. The crowd is hushed and waiting for the explosions. HHH says the Shield will be a statistic... and Reigns shushes him, saying enough talk, let's go.

Evolution gets onto the apron. The standoff is set. HHH smiles. And Evolution jumps back down... no they don't, here we go! It's Ambrose/HHH, Batista/Reigns, and Orton/Rollins, and neither side has an edge. Crowd declares this Awesome. Ambrose sends HHH flying out of the ring, then low bridges Orton. Rollins gets the 7-10 split with a flip plancha, but Ambrose is floored by Batista only for Batista to be Superpunched. Reigns wants his spear, but HHH emerges with the sledgehammer. Ambrose and Rollins go after HHH, but Orton RKOs Rollins to stop it. Batista spears Ambrose, and Evolution is standing tall. HHH winds it up and nails the sledge into Roman's neck. OUCH. A shot for Rollins and another for Ambrose follows as Batista and Orton clear the announcers' table. Reigns is picked up by HHH as the table is cleared. Triplebomb to Reigns (Batista delivers) sends him through the table. HHH and his hammer stand tall and soak in the booing as Orton smiles. A replay of all the insanity follows as JBL hammers home that everything, literally everything, is legal. Evolution mocks the Shield's pose – using the sledgehammer – as we go out.

THOUGHTS:

Lots of go-home stuff on today's show, and that's perfectly acceptable. Only five matches as of now – plus one angle – but there's still SmackDown, and it's pretty clear there's a sixth match, perhaps a seventh will be coming up. I'm not sure who will be in it, but only six matches? I don't see it.

Anyway, this show was all about making you want to see Payback, and given the Cena/Bray and Evolution/Shield stuff, I think they've succeeded. Throw in the secondary title matches, and I think Payback will be a fun watch. I'll be viewing.

HOW I'D BOOK IT:

0. El Torito defeats Hornswoggle and takes his hair.
1. Antonio Cesaro defeats Sheamus to win the United States Championship.
2. Adam Rose defeats Jack Swagger.
3. Bad News Barrett retains against Rob Van Dam.
4. The Total Divas – perhaps even E itself – refuses to allow Brie to be fired, and Daniel Bryan refuses to abdicate.
5. John Cena defeats Bray Wyatt, but does so with the Benoit/Raven 1998 finish (Wyatt is knocked out but with a smile on his face – he unleashed the beast within Cena, even if he regretted it.)
6. Paige retains against Alicia Fox by DQ.
7. Shield defeat Evolution: Reigns pins Batista, Ambrose pins HHH, Orton pins Ambrose, Orton pins Rollins, Reigns pins Orton.

STATS:

MATCH TIME: 43:18 over nine matches

BEST MATCH: Rhodes/Evolution

WORST MATCH: Eva/Summer

MVP OF THE NIGHT: Antonio Cesaro

FINAL SCORE: 5. Wasn't happy about the Divas and McIntyre getting beaten, but Cena/Wyatt and the brawl at the end keep it from being a purely boring show. Still, two segments do not a show make, and there was way too much that didn't work – the Fox temper tantrum lasted about three minutes longer than it should have, and JBL's digs on Adam Rose were annoying. So let's split the difference.

Matt, Tommy, and Scott are waiting in the wings! Brian, Logan, and Scott will go old-school! Get ready! See you Sunday! Start whining now!