The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 06.27.94
Taped from White Plains, NY
Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Randy Savage
Jerry Lawler is forced to apologize to Duke Droese for attacking him with the garbage can last week. Truly that’s the worst thing you can do to a person. So apparently Lawler was actually kind of shooting and wasn’t supposed to use the garbage can last week, and USA freaked out about it and made him apologize. No wonder the gun incident nearly took them off the network two years later.
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Mabel
Bigelow quickly attacks and manages to throw Mabel around, then pounds away until Mabel just kind of decides to stop selling. Mabel blocks a charge with a big boot and follows with the legdrop, but he stops to go after Luna and ends up missing an elbow. However, Bigelow accidentally whips Mabel into his lovely fiancée and knocks her out cold on the floor, and they both go brawling out there until Mabel beats the count at 3:35. Shit match, shit finish. DUD Luna did take a nice bump into the railing, I guess. And then Ted Dibiase continues his spending spree, coming out to make peace between the couple and eventually buying off Bigelow.
Meanwhile, Dibiase re-introduces The Undertaker on Superstars, who is now mysteriously 6 inches shorter than when he left.
IRS v. Rich Myers
Myers tries a headlock and gets suplexed, and Irwin goes to the abdominal stretch, as he is wont to do. Legdrop and chinlock, and he finishes with an STF at 2:35.
The King’s Court with Jim Neidhart. Apparently Anvil is bitter at giving advice to Bret all these years and getting NOTHING in return. So he saved the title for Bret, in order to make sure that Owen gets his fair shot at the title later. Owen Hart joins us with his super-cheesy King outfit and dollar store scepter, and he’s gonna win the title from Bret. Gorilla is really counter-productive here, yelling over Owen’s interview that he’s a liar and just got lucky when he beat Bret and won the Kingship. What’s the point of cutting down your top heel?
The Headshrinkers v. The Executioners
I’m assuming this is just Gill & Hardy in yet another identity. They do have cool matching black outfits, at least! Samu beats on Executioner #4 (who has “Agony” on his tights) and Fatu catapults him under the rope and gets a short clothesline for two. Samu gets a DDT out of the corner and poor Agony continues getting pounded, and the Shrinkers keep picking him up at two. Fatu finishes with the flying splash at 4:52. Pain never even tagged in!
Meanwhile, in the locker room, Dibiase makes Bigelow an offer he can’t refuse.
Kwang v. Mike Moraldo
Kwang with a spinkick and he’s blowing the deadly red mist everywhere while slowly pounding away. Leg lariat in the corner and a back kick gets two. Moraldo randomly gets a comeback, but Kwang uses yet another spinkick to finish at 3:34. Harvey is proud of his Kwang, notes Gorilla. Good to know.
The New Generation! Guys like Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik are OLD, but guys like Roddy Piper and Nikolai Volkoff are NEW. You might want to take notes here.
Lex Luger v. Unnamed Jobber
Ted Dibiase peers out from the curtain ominously while Luger beats on the guy and the announcers start to try out the “Rebel” nickname for Luger that flopped spectacularly. Torture rack finishes at 3:00.
Next week: Tatanka v. Jeff Jarrett in the most mid-90s WWF match possible, plus Undertaker returns to RAW with different tattoos.
As a kid, I liked the format of putting the feature match first because I had to go to bed at 9:30 or so during this time, so you got the see the one match that mattered.
ReplyDeleteI'm sensing a running pattern of these shows not being very good.
ReplyDeleteA mid 90's house show that I attended around this time:
ReplyDeleteDuke "The Dumpster" Droese vs. Bastion Booger
Alundra Blayze vs. Luna Vachon
Razor Ramon vs. Diesel
Doink vs. Jeff Jarrett
The Smoking Gunns vs. The Executioners
Bob Backlund vs. The Brooklyn Brawler
Lex Luger vs. Crush in the main event.
It's safe to say that this show was the best they could do with what they had.
I remember when calling it the Rebel Rack for a while there. What was he rebelling against, anyway?
ReplyDeleteMaking money.
ReplyDeleteThey should have turned Dibiase gay. He could've pulled off an evil gay rich character.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I saw a show with the exact same card except... Diesel showed up with crutches, and introduced us to his replacement... Jeff Jarrett, pulling double duty!!! Razor won by rollup, then Diesel did the old "take 3 regular steps right before going through the curtain" spot.
ReplyDeleteWinning the world title.
ReplyDeleteIs Kevin Nash the biggest name that never gave a shit?
ReplyDeleteHe'd be perfect driving around the Bait Bus.
ReplyDeleteI remember the Tatanka-Jarrett match being pretty good and I thought Brian Lee did a pretty good job as the Fakertaker..
ReplyDeleteI thnk I mentioned this in a thread a few months ago, but he was advertised for 4 different house shows that I had tickets to... and I only saw him wrestle once (injured all 3 other times)
ReplyDeleteI like it too, just for the sake of something different.
ReplyDeleteI think during an episode of Legends of Wrestling he talked about suffering a stinger in a match against Hall, but he said he worked through it.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe they made Lawler apologize. Again, he's the best thing about these shows. He can job cleanly and then come back the next week and get his heat back.
ReplyDeleteOf all the reasons Neidhart has to be pissed at Bret, that is what he goes with. How bout Bret broke up the team and now he's having a hard time paying bills. He called Bret and asked to borrow some rent money and he big-timed him.
In a one hour show this works. Be cool if they did this every now and again. Use the final hour for the fallout or something.
ReplyDeleteSaw it earlier. It wasn't terrible, but the finish sucked, for sure.
ReplyDeleteWonder what WWF would've been like had WCW launched Nitro in 1994.
ReplyDeleteI have no recollection of a singles Mabel push prior to '95 but apparently it happened. Taking on Jeff Jarrett at Summerslam and being part of Lex's team at Survivor Series.
ReplyDeleteJerry Lawler apologizing for using a fucking trashcan! Harvey Whippleman still employed!
THIS is how the WWF countered WCW signing Hulk Hogan?
Not much better. Vince was distracted by the steroid trial, so booking was all over the place. Also, if they did Nitro after Hogan came in, the product there wasn't much better. As someone who was a fan in 1995 (my first year following the product), both companies didn't have a lot to write home about angle wise. You had your pick of the Dungeon of Doom vs. Diesel Power.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely. As much as they like recapping stuff that just happened, you would think they would be all over that.
ReplyDeleteI also remember during this period that it was a big deal to see a guy on RAW. Like "oh man! Razor is on tonight's show!" It didn't matter if Razor was squashing someone. It was just cool to see him wrestle because he hadn't been on the show in several weeks.
ReplyDeleteTrue and I think that's why Tatanka never really got over during his undefeated run. He won most of his matches in the weakest way possible.
ReplyDeleteI grew up watching the Muthaship, if you will, and the stars were there every week, if only to cut a promo. I just couldn't vibe with this philosophy.
ReplyDeleteMo was written out for about 6 months with a knee injury, after an AWESOME angle on Challenge where he tore his knee against Owen, and then Owen slapped the sharpshooter on it, just to be an asshole.
ReplyDeleteThe paradox was such: Mo was doing as good a job as anyone could do of selling that his knee was wrecked, and Oscar is about as passive and uncaring as a person can be (i.e. just standing there while Owen's stomping Mo on the floor).
Worth a look: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgnMfnxcRRg
I give them a bit of a pass in the sense that the Undertaker was on the shelf and Vince was facing a lengthy prison sentence and an aggressive federal prosecutor (for who knows why since the government's case was flimsy at best). The company could've done better by getting Randy Savage more engaged in the product rather than letting him bolt to WCW, but their options were really limited at this time.
ReplyDeleteThe company's talent level really grew at the beginning of 1996 when they ditched some of the New Generation failures and signed people like Mick Foley, Steve Austin, and the like.
Yeah, I wasn't into WCW as much as the WWF. I remember I was excited that WCW had a Saturday wrestling program that was two hours long (as long as it wasn't pre-empted by Braves games)!
ReplyDeleteHaha in 1994? That might've put the WWF out of business for good.
ReplyDeleteJust wait. When Vince hears about Michael Sam in 6 years, we'll get a gay wrestling charaacter.
ReplyDeleteOscar sucked. I never liked the guy (and never liked Men on a Mission either).
ReplyDeleteCommon sense finishes in main events.
ReplyDeleteThey should just recycle the Johnny B. Badd character.
ReplyDeleteMabel was always protected somewhat due to his size, but wasn't pushed as such. His match with Jarrett had no build up and he lost despite Jarrett being pretty low on the totem pole at this point and he was only on Luger's team because the roster was thin at that point and there was no-one else to choose from.
ReplyDeleteWas there some reason Oscar just stood there?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, nice of the Thunder to show up tonight.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid I felt I had to cheer Men on a Mission because they were trying to make a difference or clean up the streets or whatever the fuck they were up to. Ditto Fatu.
ReplyDeleteLeslie and Tenta, the Outsiders?
ReplyDeleteokay, this made me laugh. Oddly enough, I hated when they pushed that moral crap on me.
ReplyDeleteperhaps because the whole 'selling to the audience' thing is foreign to him
ReplyDeleteHaha, well I did support Fatu for that (because as a mark I'd pretty much cheer for anything the company told me to), but never really liked MOM. I preferred the Smoking Gunns!
ReplyDeleteOh no doubt, i loved the WWF's signings in '96. Add Vader,Brian Pillman,Marc Mero. Throw in new faces like HHH & Ahmed Johnson
ReplyDeleteIf they could have hung onto Diesel & Razor and got a lil something more out of the Ultimate Warrior i think they would have stood a good chance to beat Nitro handily.
But that's still a year and a half away!
Noone liked Men on a Mission.
ReplyDeleteI would actually argue that 1994-1995 are WAY better than 1996. The 1996 shows feel like death and I had to make sure I didn't fall asleep when recapping them for the blog two years ago. There's just a depressing feeling around everything, especially after Diesel and Razor leave. It's good that Bret wanted to work with Austin because that started to right the ship.
ReplyDeleteLeave noone out of this
ReplyDeleteBeefcake putting Bischoff through the stage.
ReplyDeleteI was a dumb mark too that believed most of WWF's propaganda and I thought MOM were okay as Mabel actually had a personality whereas Smoking Gunns were dull and even I knew at that point that the cowboy gimmick was passe.
ReplyDeleteThen cutting his hair! Resulting in a lawsuit.
ReplyDeleteCould not disagree more.
ReplyDeleteThe first half of 94 is fine at least on PPV but then it all goes to hell aside from some HBK matches for the next 18 months.
I think I liked the Gunns because they seemed to have decent matches and had a cool finisher. It definitely wasn't their gimmick!
ReplyDelete"He called Bret and asked to borrow some rent money and he big-timed him."
ReplyDeleteBret would just give him a 30 minute lecture on how to manage your finances. Julie, with tears in her eyes, would confide in Bret every month that their checkbook was the most beautifully balanced checkbook she's ever seen.
I guess it just comes down to what you find more entertaining. I love whacky Backlund, a few Bret Hart challenges for the title (he also had good matches in 1995 despite being stuck in awful feuds), and Bigelow-LT was good.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of PPV, I'll take the 1995 Rumble card over 1996, probably take WM XI over WM XII (which is a one man show), and 1995 Survivor Series over the 1996 version. The 1996 KOTR and SummerSlam were better than their 1995 counterpart, though.
Still, it's a race to the bottom when you try to argue which year of the "Dark Ages" is the better one!
Yeah as a kid I hated the Gunns because I didn't know much about workrate as such. I just based my likeness on a wrestler's personality. But as I watch the old shows today, I have a new appreciation for the Gunns and I see they were pretty talented.
ReplyDeleteUnless you consider the Gunns to be gay - then they were 11 years early on the gay Cowboy gimmick.
ReplyDeleteDude, I would have marked out so hard for that.
ReplyDeleteThey struck me as guys who made it to the top of the tag team division because there was nobody better left...and once they beat the Kid and Holly the night after they won the titles I hated them.
ReplyDeleteI was okay with everything you were saying until the 1996 Survivor Series part. That show rocked!
ReplyDeleteThey held the title forever in 96 cause they were the tag division. Tough times for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe Gunns are kind of a forgotten gem in the 1990s tag division, which was something WCW just completely obliterated the WWF on. I remember the Apter mags always did mock WWF vs. WCW cards and the tag matches were easy wins for WCW. I'd pick Harlem Heat, the Outsiders, Sting & Luger, the Steiners, and the Road Warriors over the Gunns anyway.
ReplyDeleteThe Gunns were also hurt in the momentum department because one of them tended to get injured right when they'd build up a following.
Haha, that 1996 tag division was a joke: Gunns, Godwinns, Bodydonnas, and the New Rockers. The WWF had to throw Owen & Bulldog together just to bring some credibility back to the division.
ReplyDelete1996 ppv was actually pretty decent, but the tv just brought the product down so much.
ReplyDeleteI still don't get that booking choice. Holly & the Kid go on this magical run and win the titles, but then job the next night? Why even have the damn tournament?
ReplyDeleteWeren't the Gunn's heels when the lost to Owen and Bulldog? Vince was probably like fuck it by that point.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I hated the Gunns super push of 95. Prior to that they were basically the JTTS of the tag division and all of a sudden WWF started pushing them as one of the greatest teams ever. Feels a bit like how TNA are pushing Eric Young now. Plus I also hated them because they beat one of my favorite teams in Kid and Holly. Wish WWF had the confidence in Kid and Holly because I believe they could have carried the tag division pretty well.
ReplyDelete1996 Survivor Series is good, but I like the 1995 version better because I like the WWF title match between Diesel-Bret more than HBK-Sid, the Wild Card match over any of the Survivor matches in 1996, etc. However, 1996 does have Bret-Austin to speak for it.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like weird booking to kick the Gunns off as face champions by having them beat the popular underdog team.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it was heel vs. heel, which was really strange and the crowd didn't know how to react to it. Then the WWF split the Gunns up and they had a weird match on RAW where Billy feigned a neck injury and then their feud was forgotten.
ReplyDeleteI liked them a good bit back then. As Scisco noted, decent matches and a cool finisher.
ReplyDeleteWas the injury to Billy real? I guess if he wasn't ready to start the tournament it made sense to hold off their win until it was over, but they pushed Kid and Holly as lovable underdogs then expect people to cheer the Gunns for beating them?
ReplyDeleteProbably for the best. No one wanted to see them feud and they both eventually found something better.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes it worse was that Gunns were booked as faces. If they booked a heel team to end Kid/Holly's magical run after one day that would have been pretty cool, but choosing the Gunns to do it just made me hate that team just a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteYep, reminds me a lot of when Rey won that title tournament, only to have to face Cena on the same night, and losing.
ReplyDeleteYeah, watching the WCW shows from the 80s on 24/7 was night and day. There was always something interesting going on or some big star popping up to challenge Ric Flair or squash some dudes. The RAW shows here basically treat anyone who's not on the show like they don't exist.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I know the Billy injury was legit. They just really booked themselves into a corner in that tournament.
ReplyDeleteGorilla Monsoon was on a streak of suck at this point. I loved Gorilla's work for pretty much his entire run as a commentator, but my God, he was shit in 1994.
ReplyDeleteThen the Nasty Boys would have been the third (and fourth) man.
ReplyDeleteI liked him, to an extent. Not as top contenders, but as midcard filler.
ReplyDeleteMonsoon was okay with Savage, but he really didn't have someone to work off of like Heenan. I remember that Monsoon-Ross team was death and they tried to make Monsoon a color guy and that was just not up his alley.
ReplyDelete1994 was also when the company tried to put Stan Lane over as the next color commentator. That didn't work out.
The frustrating thing was that the tag division didn't need to be so bad. There was no reason why Owen and Bulldog could have been a full time tag team a year earlier.
ReplyDeleteRoyal Rumble 95 rocks
ReplyDeleteYes, Gorilla was a part of my childhood too, but he's absolutely useless by '94. He had stopped being good about putting over the heels quite a while ago, but he was just not giving a fuck at this point. I watched Owen's promo a few weeks ago (and it's a damn good one, btw) and was wanting to scream when Gorilla interjected. It's really one of the worst announcer calls I have ever, ever heard.
ReplyDelete'90s Vince was a tough listen, too, but goddamn, he knew what to say to get Owen over: "Owen beat Bret on Bret's best day--at SummerSlam, he could do it again for the title!" That's how you sell a damn PPV main event, not "Owen got lucky."
I agree. Michaels was getting ***1/2 stars out of anything that moved, and even some of the undercard was passable. Plus, we got the Austin-Hart match at Survivor Series.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the New Rockers and think they could have helped carry the division in 96 if they were pushed as the top team.
ReplyDeleteSupposedly Owen and Neidhart were supposed to win the titles at one point, maybe that threw things off.
ReplyDeleteIt really didn't. They let it get so bad in 96 that they had Sunny carrying the tag division with her title whoring.
ReplyDeleteNot a big fan of Austin/Bret SS 96 to be honest
ReplyDeleteThey were but the Gunns were about to break up anyway with Bart turning face.
ReplyDeleteSomeone here mentioned a few weeks back the Gorilla stuff talking over Owen's promo, and I figured it was just Gorilla being Gorilla. Checked it out: Youch, I'm sorry I defended him. Did Owen piss in his bowl of Cheerios as a rib?
ReplyDeleteMo was taken out shortly after WM10 (on-screen credit went to Owen, who beat him with a Sharpshooter on Challenge and then left it on for awhile after the match to injure him). Must have been a legit injury because he came right back before the '95 Rumble.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have no idea why the WWF made them the joke of the division. The only big New Rockers moment I remember is Cloudy kissing Leif Cassidy and causing them to lose the Free for All match at the 1996 KOTR.
ReplyDelete38 minute Royal Rumble. Nuff Said! Mania XII over XI because aside from the 2 top matches and Undertaker beating Bundy i can't remember XI. I liked both Survivor Series but again i give the edge to '96 cause i loved the MSG crowd cheering Sid to his first world title and Austin & Bret tearing the house down.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't even say Mabel was pushed, so much as he was one of the only guys they had.
ReplyDeleteThat loss to Jarrett was BIZARRE. I guess I didn't know that JJ was being groomed for the IC belt, but still...I wasn't used to big fat guys losing to little ones in the WWF just yet. Especially babyfaces losing clean as a sheet.
ReplyDeleteYou like DQ draws and shitty battle royals?
ReplyDeleteMabel's "push" was basically "he's big and fat, come see for yourself." He never won a significant match during his singles run, and always jobbed in embarrassing ways (like flopping like a fish when he's pinned).
ReplyDeleteThey didn't do a full-on feud, but from the times we saw them wrestlingone another they did have pretty good chemistry as opponents and I think if WWF followed through with the feud it would have gotten both guys slightly more over.
ReplyDeleteAh, I remember that story now. It would've made a lot of sense based on the way late 1994 was booked and Owen later winning the titles with Yoko.
ReplyDeleteWhen you go back and watch each show in succession, you can see each show building to the next which was very NWA-ish. I think the continuity + HBK make them easily re-watchable.
ReplyDeleteThe Stan Lane experiment... a surprising failure. He seemed so uncomfortable no matter what he was trying to go for.
ReplyDeleteI loved that angle. The Sunny-Phineas angle was an underappreciated part of the mid-1990s. When he finally slopped her on Superstars it got a HUGE pop.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite New Rockers moment was them beating Godwinns on an episode of Superstars. Marked out for that one.
ReplyDeleteThat was a kick-ass way to build heat on Owen. Where the heck was Mabel, letting his little buddy (his little 300 pound buddy) take such a beating?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he still wanted to wrestle and Vince said no?
ReplyDeleteIf Phineas didn't suck so hard that could have turned him into a star. Made him a very sympathetic character and Sunny was great at her "mean girls" gimmick or whatever you want to call it.
ReplyDeleteI call that the Jim Ross push. He was always touting for people to buy tickets to come and see how big guys were. "BUY A TICKET AND SEE HOW BIG THE BIG RED MACHINE IS FOR YOURSELF!"
ReplyDeleteYou wanted a 60 minute Rumble with Kwang, Well Dunn, Mantaur, Aldo Montoya, and Doink involved? They did us a favor cutting it in half.
ReplyDeleteI'll see that and raise you:
ReplyDeleteYokozuna vs. Typhoon (surprise sub for Earthquake--this may have been his first appearance/re-appearance)
The Smoking Gunns vs. The Bushwhackers
1-2-3 Kid vs. Bastion Booger (LONG gone from TV at this point)
Koko B. Ware (!) vs. John Paul (!!) who was subbing for The Genius (!!!)
Duke Droese vs. some guy
Tatanka vs. Crush
And maybe one other match. It was DISMAL.
Sunny managed like 3 of those teams didn't she? In a row no less!
ReplyDeleteHe never returned to the ring expect for spot indy bookings, as far as I know. He had a successful career in broadcasting after leaving WWE, according to Wikipedia.
ReplyDeleteHa, to be fair Sunny was the best thing about the division at that time.
ReplyDeleteNo, Lane had wanted out of full-time wrestling for awhile, as far back as 1990. He and Cornette made up later, I think, but Lane leaving SMW wasn't under the rosiest of circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI still remember my reaction when Mantaur first debuted with that giant bear head or whatever. The camera showed people in the crowd just laughing their ass off at it, as I was at home. Complete flop of building a monster heel there.
ReplyDeleteI think they were DQ'd in the tournament, some kind of funny business that could've set up them wanting a rematch. Bret's book says Neidhart missed shows over Christmas and was fired then.
ReplyDeleteHe would pop up on espn2 hosting random sporting events. That was just strange.
ReplyDeleteThe Genius? In 1994???
ReplyDeleteDamn, that's like a card for your nightmares.
ReplyDeleteI laughed when I saw him "Moo". That was the highlight of his WWF career.
ReplyDeleteAside from HBK, Sunny was arguably the BEST thing about the company for much of 1996.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble with Phineas was that he actually had a personality and probably could have gotten over based on that if he wasn't saddled with the pig farmer gimmick..
ReplyDeleteAnd it wasn't just that. If you get a chance to check out the famous Steiners/Harts match, he's absolutely awful at that. Calling out the Harts for not wearing headgear like Rick, talking about how Owen can't possibly get a submission on Scott with an abdominal stretch so it's a waste of time to try it and why isn't Scott just getting out of the hold, and other crap that serves no purpose except to show that Gorilla's the smartest guy in the room.
ReplyDeleteA lot of that shit was stuff he was doing even in his "glory days," but it was a little easier to swallow when Jesse or the Brain were there to call him out on it.
You'd think Vince would have learned his lesson after the Black Saturday debacle 10 years earlier.
ReplyDeleteBut knowing Vince he blamed the fan outcry over his sub-par shows on Ted Turner and not himself for putting out an inferior product.
I think the WWF ribbed Cornette by putting them with him too. I was like "what the hell is Jim Cornette doing wasting his time on this idiot?" It was sort of funny too because none of Camp Cornette's other guys even got near Mantaur.
ReplyDeleteI still think Country Girl Sunny was screen-door banging hotter than anything else she wore.
ReplyDeletethis is probably true. Knowing Vince and he's feeling toward country folk, I doubt he was even expected to get over.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's a weak roster when the frigging Bushwhackers are brought out of the mothballs to fill the Rumble out, along with Well Dunn. Seems like half the participants were tag wrestlers that year.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, no doubt. I still have a tape I recorded of WWF Mania where she guest hosted . I just wish WWF pushed her as the top female rather than Sable.
ReplyDeleteHaha, yeah I have that tape too. I remember watching it a few years back and being like "WAIT!?!? That's Sunny!"
ReplyDeleteI really wish Sunny had her head on straight because she should've been a much bigger star. She had far more talent than Sable, but her demons caught up to her and she left right as the product as getting red hot in 1998.
MOM, Gunns, Heavenly Bodies, New Headshrinkers, Bushwhackers, Blu Twins, Well Dunn. Yep. What a field, eh?
ReplyDeleteFor sure. The fact that she still managed to get heel heat shows how talented she really was.
ReplyDeleteDownvote for reminding me Well Dunn existed.
ReplyDelete"THE SUNNY SHOW," you mean.
ReplyDeleteSunny was also one of the best things about 1994 Smoky Mountain. The Wellesley College feminist gimmick was fucking brilliant, and she was a natural pro at age 19-20. Such a goddamn shame what she turned into.
They weren't THAT bad....
ReplyDeleteOK, I'm lying.
Obvious riff on Big Van Vader. I bet Vince genuinely felt Mantaur would be headlining against Diesel by the fall.
ReplyDeleteLOD 2000 attire is calling and says you are wrong!
ReplyDeleteYeah it seemed WWF had planned giving Owen the tag title a few months in advance, but couldn't decide on his tag partner. Dirtsheets rumored that Benoit could have been Owen's partner.
ReplyDeleteNot making it up. He actually did wrestle on a few house shows at that time. That Gunns/Bushwhackers match is out of bizarro world, too. Even if you're one to buy what the Bushwhackers are selling--which a lot of little kids did, let's be honest--they are NOT a team cut out for babyface vs. babyface respect-style matches.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't be worse in match quality than the stuff with Sid.
ReplyDeleteSunny could have worn anything during this period and still be the hottest woman in wrestling.
ReplyDeleteI stand by my choice, but I would be lying if I wasn't turned on by anything Sunny wore.
ReplyDeleteHe did have a minor bidding war for his services during his ECW run.
ReplyDeleteHe chose WCW which was probably for the best. But hey who knows, maybe if he signed with the WWF then he tears the house down with Owen or HBK and gets over despite his weak mic skills.
That's an interesting "what if," but I think Benoit made the best call. He would've been saddled with some ridiculous gimmick in 1995-1996 WWF.
ReplyDeleteI remember an In Your House started off with Sunny in a silver bikini warning us that parental supervision is advised.
ReplyDeleteI literally can't remember a thing about the show that followed.
Yeah same here.
ReplyDeleteA few RAW episodes had her in a bubble bath warning that viewer discretion was advised. I was almost banned from watching RAW after my parents caught that segment one time!
ReplyDeleteHe would have been the Canadian Snow Plower or some shit and come to the ring in a parka and snow shovel.
ReplyDeleteTrue, plus how would he interact with the Kliq? Shane Douglas was as hot a free agent as could be and well we saw what happened with him.
ReplyDeleteCatering?
ReplyDeleteYou want bad, THIS was recorded by a fan to prove it existed...
ReplyDeleteCornwall, Ontario - October 2nd, 1994:
Doink vs. Volkoff
PJ Walker vs. Abe Schwartz
Tatanka vs. The Dumpster
Gunns vs. Heavenly Bodies
Razor Ramon vs. Pierre
Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid
Sunny in a bikini warning us about what we're about to see was the highlight of the February-March '96 Raw's.
ReplyDeleteNothing to do with Jarrett's size, I just couldn't take him seriously because he lost like 99% of his matches and all of a sudden beats Mabel.
ReplyDeleteAt least the main event could have delivered if they had their working boots on that night.
ReplyDeleteHarvey Wippleman prolly offered his wife to the locker room. Or she offered herself. Either or.
ReplyDeleteGunns/Bodies has legit potential, too.
ReplyDeleteGreat point here, as I've always felt he was giving Owen the short shrift in that match.
ReplyDelete7-minute match, which would still be good, but not good enough to save that card.
ReplyDeleteNot arguing quality, but the Heavenly Bodies were only a step up on Well Dunn for jobber status.
ReplyDeleteI'll take WM XII. Iron Man (which is an acquired taste), Taker/Diesel, Savio/Austin and the opening 6 man. Survivor Series is tough, because other than Goldust/Bigelow, that whole show is fun, but the 3 singles matches and the opening tag elimination (once it comes down to Owen/Davey vs Furnas/Lafon), are great. Plus, an always hot NY crowd.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, my dad almost banned me from getting wrestling magazines after I got the first Raw magazine, which had a big photo shoot of Sunny.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, I used "half" as an expression. I didn't expect to almost be right. Completely forgot the Bodies and Headshrinkers were in there.
ReplyDelete(Delrays comes in)
ReplyDeleteLawler: I like this guy?!
McMahon: Is he going to win the rumble?
Lawler: I don't like him that much.
Then they did the same exchange for Pichard, except "I don't like him that muych, either."
I think it was WWF that turned down Benoit. He had a shitty match with Adam Bomb, I think? I remember reading that they turned him down and in Bret's book he mentions riding with Benoit during his try-outs.
ReplyDeleteHe would have gotten over no doubt, but Kliq would have most likely buried him so he didn't threaten their spots. I'd say Benoit came to the WWF at the perfect time.
ReplyDeleteBut, 96 Survivor Series has a ***** and **** match? See your side of the argument for the rest though.
ReplyDeleteI know he was part of the original Heavenly Bodies but i don't know how his career ended.
ReplyDeleteThe Fabulous Ones,The Midnight Express, The Bodies. Damn Sweet Stan was like a junior Arn Anderson in the multi-tag teams world.
It's sad how fun the mid-1990s Survivor Series cards were versus how much the company writes off that show today.
ReplyDeleteDitto. Sorry I'm straight.
ReplyDeleteGhdjsjfkehxhdhshwhsshsbdrjeurid, Men on a Mission! Whoomp! There it is!
ReplyDeleteI wish Heyman could've loaned out 911 for a night just to chokeslam him...in MSG, just for the pop.
Deserves more upvotes.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I somehow was able to buy that magazine despite not being 17 or whatever I think you had to be to buy it. I had enough sense never to let my parents see me with it.
ReplyDeleteIn Canada their called chequebooks. I can't reward such blatant disinfo.
ReplyDeleteI think the main hang-up is that Benoit didn't want to give up his NJPW dates. There was much more money there than in the U.S.
ReplyDeleteShe probably also sucked 37 dicks. In a row?
ReplyDeleteTry not to suck any dick on your way to the ring.
ReplyDeleteI do love both those '95 matches a ton though. But i sill laugh at how bad the Undertaker's team is that year,Savio Vega,Fatu & HOG!
ReplyDeleteAnd, that Bret is the most jam up guy of all the jam up guys.
ReplyDeleteRight, that makes sense, I think Jericho said that was appealing about WCW for him to, the working agreement with New Japan.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that team was horrid. I remember they had matching t-shirts for being on the "Dark Side." I just chalked it up to the Undertaker not giving a damn who his teammates were because he was going to destroy the Royals on his own (which he did).
ReplyDeleteGorilla was ALWAYS calling out the heels on their bullshit.
ReplyDeleteOverly tight t-shirts? Lex, what are you rebelling against? I DON'T KNOW!!!
ReplyDeleteSomeone probably found a bunch of unsold "Rebel" Dick Slater shirts and thought the nickname was too good not to use again.
ReplyDeleteI'll give Russo credit, those Raw magazines were great for a high school mark who'd never heard of Dave Meltzer.
ReplyDeleteI thought Gorilla called the Harts/Steiners match perfectly and made it seem like a real fight. Gorilla's point about the abdominal stretch was that Owen didn't have the strength to keep Scott there, which ended up being true because Scott easily countered out of the hold a few seconds later. Gorilla was trying to say that he couldn't match strength with Scott and he had to use his quickness instead.
ReplyDeleteMonsoon was a serviceable straight-man for Jesse and Brain and nothing more. He more than deserved all those "worst announcer" awards from the Wrestling Observer. I'll take Vince and his "12hegothimnohedidntcomeonref" stuff over Gorilla any day.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty funny in hindsight that Russo's original gimmick was being an Internet smark.
ReplyDeleteRusso's writing style always irked me, with long winded rambling and LOTS OF CAPS!!!!!! to get his point across mid-sentence.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Stands on the apron letting Mabel shit himself with fear that he's back, while his teammates work for, what 10-15 minutes? Says "Fuck it", tags in and just mows through the Royals, makes Mabel shit himself even more to the point of going Honky Tonk Man circa Survivor Series '87.
ReplyDeleteI like overbooked matches if they are fun and memorable battle royales with show stealing performances from Shawn and Bulldog
ReplyDeleteIf that's what your are referring to
Razor/JJ
Tag title match
Bret/Diesel
Rumble match
Pam Anderson at her peak
Yea Iove that show. Best ppv of 95
Your explanation made the match 75 times better than it was by just watching it. Kudos!
ReplyDelete'95 Rumble is a decent show, but I'll take Survivor Series from that year.
ReplyDeleteFair enough but to read the WWF talk about Diesel & Razor signing with WCW plus the move to a more mature stance with things like blood and well tits being promoted heavily was a breathe of fresh air and boded well heading into 1997.
ReplyDeleteI forget was his mask uh masking a legit injury? I can't imagine them doing that with the Undertaker if it wasn't real but who knows.
ReplyDeleteI liked the style the Magazine was going for, but when half the articles are penned by Russo, it gets to be a trying experience to read all of it.
ReplyDeleteLet it go.
ReplyDeleteGorilla was a bit grouchy by this point, but 90s Vince is a giant pile of steaming shit. Between his inability (or lack of desire) to call even the simplest of moves, his stupid calls of obvious kickouts as pins, his "whatamaneuver," and finally his homerotic calls for muscular lunks and in particular Shawn, the guy just ruins the entire middle of the decade for me. 80s Vince is a campy but tolerable announcer. 90s Vince makes my ears bleed.
ReplyDeleteVince's knowledge of the actual wrestling is obviously not something I'm going to argue, but he had passion in his voice, which made it better than he really was at calling stuff. When his voice seemed tired and lifeless, then you're in trouble, and you know the show REALLY sucks.
ReplyDeleteKayfabe reason was a cracked orbital bone. May have been the legit reason too.
ReplyDeleteVince sounded on the verge of coming in his slacks during a Shawn Michaels entrance in 1996.
ReplyDeleteThis literally might be the worst comment of all time. Your opinions are stupid and deserved to be downvoted.
ReplyDeleteCan't really argue cause I know I'm in the minority as a fan of 90's Vince on commentary. Like Izzo said below, at least the passion was there.
ReplyDeletebut his passion was so over the top. His passion in the 80s worked. His passion in the 90s was a man in desperation, not believing in anybody else to see his "vision" and desperately trying to convince a crowd that what he knew was garbage was quality programming.
ReplyDeleteYa, I think his first match back was in the tag title tournament. I believe it was a legit injury.
ReplyDelete