So, that was an interesting RAW.
Thank you to all the BoD'ers and, hey, if you wanna read more of our stuff, please check me out at The Daily DDT (http://dailyddt.com/author/mattlperri/) for all my wrestling editorials and opinion, visit WE HATE YOUR GIMMICK at http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com and, of course, visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/wehateyourgimmick/.
I actually kinda liked it. Cena was limited to the opening and had a decent match with Cesaro, Orton and Reigns is tempered in bad blood and the Bella/Steph thing FINALLY took off after 736 handicap matches.
Also, Bo Dallas's dark side really finally made an appearnce, thus making his character that much more interesting. I'd love to see where they go with him at this point.
For those broken up over his loss -- it was necessary. And if you're still sore about it...don't be. You'll be happy again...all you have to do is BO-LIEVE.
In the meantime, here's an animation of Bo running Torito over to cheer you up.
 |
| It's so hypnotic. |
On the downside, Jericho/Wyatt is boring as fuck, Summer Rae making out with Torito is an image I'll never get out of my brain and what the holy hell is going on with Stardust?!
We've got a few weeks before SummerSlam, so I'm sure our questions will be answered. Or not.
All right, WWE. Show us what ya' got.
We are LIVE(!) from the American Bank Center in Corpus Christi, Texas!
Byron Saxton & Tom Phillips are your mic dudes.
TONIGHT: We get to hear the censors bleep out "bitch" -- even though they let both women say it without bleeping it with the eight-second delay -- and, possibly, "HELL" if they're feelin' real frisky.
Ambrose is out to the ring to give a promo. He says he's back in he's pissed. He doesn't kiss babies or anything like that. Let's cut the crap, he says. He tells Seth Rollins to get out here so he can get his teeth kicked in. But, he knows Rollins won't show up. Ambrose channels Michael Keaton in BATMAN and says he wants to get nuts.
Seth doesn't show. Ambrose says he thought that's what would happen. So, he'll continue to chase Rollins around and go through the Authority to do it.
Del Rio shows up and tells Ambrose to focus on him, instead. He says that he's gonna lock in the Cross Arm Breaker on Ambrose, rip his arm off and put it on his shelf as a present. Then he weakly kicks Ambrose in the arm and Ambrose oversells it, falling to the mat like a pile of bricks, because, damn, that shot to his shoulder really hurt his legs.
Del Rio, for some reason, just leaves the ring and stares down Ambrose who isn't very happy.
LAST NIGHT: Cena was not happy with the idea of being VICTIMIZED by Brock Lesnar.
Apparently, they're gonna fight at SummerSlam.
The Usos are backstage, ready for action...NEXT!
Promo for Sunday SummerSlam, running each Sunday up until SummerSlam.
Promo for Slam City which still exists, I guess.
RybAxel is out for action against The Usos.
MATCH #1: RybAxel (Ryback & Curtis Axel) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos (Jimmy & Jey) (non-title)
Xavier Woods and the Nation of Reluctant Supremacy are at ringside. Kofi is especially adorable in his Angry Hoodie of Doom while E's gone Mr. Hughes without the shades and suspenders. Ryback starts with Jimmy, locking him up and bullying him in the corner. Jimmy hits a chop, dances around and then hits a dropkick off a whip. Jey tags and they hit an elbow on Ryback. Ryback hits a belly to belly suplex and tags in Axel. Axel hits a nice dropkick and stomps at Jey's chest. Tag to Ryback and the two drop several knees to Jey, pinning him for two. Woods is upset about the lack of title shots that they've gotten while Ryback slugs away at Jey and tags in Axel. Axel hits a backbreaker and gets two, tagging in Ryback. Ryback hits a Warrior Splash and a Spinebuster. He goes to the top rope but misses the Macho Elbow. Hot tags on both sides. Jimmy all over Axel with uppercuts and kicks. He hits the Rikishi Splash and tries to get on the buckle but Axel knocks him off. Axel hits a Perfect Plex but Jey runs in and makes the save. Ryback dumps Jey. Jimmy kicks Ryback. Axel rolls up Jimmy for two. Jimmy gets up and hits a Superkick and they get the Superfly Splash at 7:00 to win.
WINNERS: The Usos via Superfly Splash
RATING: **
Post-match, Woods, E, and Kofi look at the Usos who flaunt the belts at them. Kofi and E look envious even though Kofi's already been a Tag champ, but whatever.
TONIGHT: Clips of Steph and Brie at RAW.
Promo for WWEShop.com.
RAW REBOUND: Brie shows she's better than Steph by illegally blackmailing her.
TOMORROW ON WWE.COM: Cole will interview Brie Bella.
Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil come out for a tag match.
DANIELLE: I thought Titus didn't like Heath anymore.
MATT: He doesn't.
DANIELLE: Why are they together again then?
MATT: I don't know.
DANIELLE: But Titus can just walk away...
MATT: I know...
DANIELLE: I don't get--.
MATT: I don't have anymore answers...wow, they're taking on Zack Ryder and Damien Sandow dressed like Tyson Kidd?!
MATCH #2: SlaterGator (Heath Slater & Titus O'Neil) vs. Zack Ryder & Tyson Kidd
TONIGHT: We get to hear the censors bleep out "bitch" -- even though they let both women say it without bleeping it with the eight-second delay -- and, possibly, "HELL" if they're feelin' real frisky.
Ambrose is out to the ring to give a promo. He says he's back in he's pissed. He doesn't kiss babies or anything like that. Let's cut the crap, he says. He tells Seth Rollins to get out here so he can get his teeth kicked in. But, he knows Rollins won't show up. Ambrose channels Michael Keaton in BATMAN and says he wants to get nuts.
Seth doesn't show. Ambrose says he thought that's what would happen. So, he'll continue to chase Rollins around and go through the Authority to do it.
Del Rio shows up and tells Ambrose to focus on him, instead. He says that he's gonna lock in the Cross Arm Breaker on Ambrose, rip his arm off and put it on his shelf as a present. Then he weakly kicks Ambrose in the arm and Ambrose oversells it, falling to the mat like a pile of bricks, because, damn, that shot to his shoulder really hurt his legs.
Del Rio, for some reason, just leaves the ring and stares down Ambrose who isn't very happy.
LAST NIGHT: Cena was not happy with the idea of being VICTIMIZED by Brock Lesnar.
Apparently, they're gonna fight at SummerSlam.
The Usos are backstage, ready for action...NEXT!
Promo for Sunday SummerSlam, running each Sunday up until SummerSlam.
Promo for Slam City which still exists, I guess.
RybAxel is out for action against The Usos.
MATCH #1: RybAxel (Ryback & Curtis Axel) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos (Jimmy & Jey) (non-title)
Xavier Woods and the Nation of Reluctant Supremacy are at ringside. Kofi is especially adorable in his Angry Hoodie of Doom while E's gone Mr. Hughes without the shades and suspenders. Ryback starts with Jimmy, locking him up and bullying him in the corner. Jimmy hits a chop, dances around and then hits a dropkick off a whip. Jey tags and they hit an elbow on Ryback. Ryback hits a belly to belly suplex and tags in Axel. Axel hits a nice dropkick and stomps at Jey's chest. Tag to Ryback and the two drop several knees to Jey, pinning him for two. Woods is upset about the lack of title shots that they've gotten while Ryback slugs away at Jey and tags in Axel. Axel hits a backbreaker and gets two, tagging in Ryback. Ryback hits a Warrior Splash and a Spinebuster. He goes to the top rope but misses the Macho Elbow. Hot tags on both sides. Jimmy all over Axel with uppercuts and kicks. He hits the Rikishi Splash and tries to get on the buckle but Axel knocks him off. Axel hits a Perfect Plex but Jey runs in and makes the save. Ryback dumps Jey. Jimmy kicks Ryback. Axel rolls up Jimmy for two. Jimmy gets up and hits a Superkick and they get the Superfly Splash at 7:00 to win.
WINNERS: The Usos via Superfly Splash
RATING: **
Post-match, Woods, E, and Kofi look at the Usos who flaunt the belts at them. Kofi and E look envious even though Kofi's already been a Tag champ, but whatever.
TONIGHT: Clips of Steph and Brie at RAW.
Promo for WWEShop.com.
RAW REBOUND: Brie shows she's better than Steph by illegally blackmailing her.
TOMORROW ON WWE.COM: Cole will interview Brie Bella.
Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil come out for a tag match.
DANIELLE: I thought Titus didn't like Heath anymore.
MATT: He doesn't.
DANIELLE: Why are they together again then?
MATT: I don't know.
DANIELLE: But Titus can just walk away...
MATT: I know...
DANIELLE: I don't get--.
MATT: I don't have anymore answers...wow, they're taking on Zack Ryder and Damien Sandow dressed like Tyson Kidd?!
MATCH #2: SlaterGator (Heath Slater & Titus O'Neil) vs. Zack Ryder & Tyson Kidd
No. That's THE Tyson Kidd. Ryder and Kidd come out to absolute silence and the arena is dead silent throughout the match. Ryder hits shoulderblocks on Slater to start. Slater hits one of his own. Ryder drops Slater on his face and tags in Kidd. Kidd hits a nice roll-up on Slater. Slater whips Kidd into the ropes. Kidd flies into the ropes and holds onto them like a fucking spider. Slater chases but he misses and flies outside. Tag to Ryder and a dropkick on Slater. Slater tags Titus who slaps Ryder in the chest, then hits a backbreaker for two. Titus misses a corner clotheslines and tags Slater who can't complete a side suplex. Ryder lands on his feet and tags Kidd who charges at Slater. Slater counters, elbowing him in the face. He hangs Slater up in the Tree of Woe, then kicks Titus in the head when he comes in to makes the save. Ryder hits the Broski Boot, then takes Titus out of the ring. Kidd goes up to the top rope but Slater grabs him after Titus's distraction and hits a nice Powerslam for the win at 4:55.
WINNERS: SlaterGator via Powerslam
RATING: **. Well-wrestled but nothing special.
Post-match, Slater celebrates and hogs the spotlight. Titus and Slater shove one another, fighting over who got the win.
ON RAW: Orton beat the shit out of Reigns.
ON SMACKDOWN: Orton has a "message for Roman Reigns".
Dean Ambrose is out for the main event.
Promo for Cena/Ambrose at SummerSlam.
MATCH #3: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ambrose is all over Del Rio to start, running him from buckle to buckle, then climbs on Del Rio and punches away. Suplex and one-count. Del Rio kicks Ambrose in the head on a comeback but Ambrose knees Del Rio in the stomach off a Whip. He tosses Del Rio outside and into the crowd barrier before putting Del Rio back in the ring and pounding on Del Rio's chest. He locks Del Rio in a submission hold and shoulder spears him in the corner after Del Rio gets to his feet. He charges at Del Rio but Del Rio moves and Ambrose's shoulder hits the post. Del Rio kicks Ambrose in the head from outside the ring and then works on Ambrose's injured arm. Ambrose gets free but misses a corner charge and ends up tied up on the buckle. Del Rio attacks but Ambrose knocks him off and hits the Missile Dropkick, then starts slugging away at Del Rio, stomping at Del Rio in the corner. Del Rio gets up and tries to toss Ambrose out of the ring but Ambrose lands on his feet outside the ropes. Del Rio sees this and hits an Enzuguri, knocking Ambrose outside. We go to break.
WWE 2K15 Sting Promo.
Total Divas commercial.
Del Rio has Ambrose in a Side Headlock as we come back from break. Ambrose breaks and kicks at Del Rio. Del Rio comes back and clotheslines the hell out of him for two. Del Rio picks up Ambrose and tosses him into the ring post. Del Rio picks up Ambrose and goes for the Superplex and hits it. Two count. Alberto puts Ambrose in another headlock. Ambrose counters with a Side Suplex and Cross Body with punches. Del Rio rolls outside and Ambrose hits a Suicide Dive. Del Rio actually ends up in the front row as a fan tells Del Rio he wants to see his ticket. Back in the ring, Alberto misses a kick and Ambrose rolls him up for two. Del Rio hits a kick and Ambrose misses the Clothesline. Del Rio hits a nice German Suplex for a close fall. Ambrose gets to a corner and Del Rio follows only to get DDT'ed. Del Rio quickly hits an Arm Breaker and the Mini Superkick, getting two. Del Rio goes for the Cross Arm Breaker but Ambrose counters and hits the clothesline off the rope bounce. Suddenly, Seth Rollins shows up and it's a brawl. Match time was 13:03 for those playing the home game.
WINNER: Dean Ambrose via DQ
RATING: **. This just had no real intensity or heat.
Post-match, Ambrose beats Rollins outside near the announce table, then tosses him back in the ring and clotheslines him out the other end. Del Rio sneaks up on Ambrose but Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds. He invites Rollins back into the ring and the two just glare at one another as we go off the air.
OVERALL: Meh. Was fair, at best. At least it was consistent tonight.
WINNERS: SlaterGator via Powerslam
RATING: **. Well-wrestled but nothing special.
Post-match, Slater celebrates and hogs the spotlight. Titus and Slater shove one another, fighting over who got the win.
ON RAW: Orton beat the shit out of Reigns.
ON SMACKDOWN: Orton has a "message for Roman Reigns".
Dean Ambrose is out for the main event.
Promo for Cena/Ambrose at SummerSlam.
MATCH #3: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ambrose is all over Del Rio to start, running him from buckle to buckle, then climbs on Del Rio and punches away. Suplex and one-count. Del Rio kicks Ambrose in the head on a comeback but Ambrose knees Del Rio in the stomach off a Whip. He tosses Del Rio outside and into the crowd barrier before putting Del Rio back in the ring and pounding on Del Rio's chest. He locks Del Rio in a submission hold and shoulder spears him in the corner after Del Rio gets to his feet. He charges at Del Rio but Del Rio moves and Ambrose's shoulder hits the post. Del Rio kicks Ambrose in the head from outside the ring and then works on Ambrose's injured arm. Ambrose gets free but misses a corner charge and ends up tied up on the buckle. Del Rio attacks but Ambrose knocks him off and hits the Missile Dropkick, then starts slugging away at Del Rio, stomping at Del Rio in the corner. Del Rio gets up and tries to toss Ambrose out of the ring but Ambrose lands on his feet outside the ropes. Del Rio sees this and hits an Enzuguri, knocking Ambrose outside. We go to break.
WWE 2K15 Sting Promo.
Total Divas commercial.
Del Rio has Ambrose in a Side Headlock as we come back from break. Ambrose breaks and kicks at Del Rio. Del Rio comes back and clotheslines the hell out of him for two. Del Rio picks up Ambrose and tosses him into the ring post. Del Rio picks up Ambrose and goes for the Superplex and hits it. Two count. Alberto puts Ambrose in another headlock. Ambrose counters with a Side Suplex and Cross Body with punches. Del Rio rolls outside and Ambrose hits a Suicide Dive. Del Rio actually ends up in the front row as a fan tells Del Rio he wants to see his ticket. Back in the ring, Alberto misses a kick and Ambrose rolls him up for two. Del Rio hits a kick and Ambrose misses the Clothesline. Del Rio hits a nice German Suplex for a close fall. Ambrose gets to a corner and Del Rio follows only to get DDT'ed. Del Rio quickly hits an Arm Breaker and the Mini Superkick, getting two. Del Rio goes for the Cross Arm Breaker but Ambrose counters and hits the clothesline off the rope bounce. Suddenly, Seth Rollins shows up and it's a brawl. Match time was 13:03 for those playing the home game.
WINNER: Dean Ambrose via DQ
RATING: **. This just had no real intensity or heat.
Post-match, Ambrose beats Rollins outside near the announce table, then tosses him back in the ring and clotheslines him out the other end. Del Rio sneaks up on Ambrose but Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds. He invites Rollins back into the ring and the two just glare at one another as we go off the air.
OVERALL: Meh. Was fair, at best. At least it was consistent tonight.
Er...that's it.
--
I'll be back next week, same time, same website. Thursday's double-feature day with the great Scott Keith's NXT report and Danielle's Total Divas recap/rant. Tommy will cover Smackdown to take you into your weekend and Andy PG will be back to start your week off right with the PG Era Raw Rant on Monday.
Thank you to all the BoD'ers and, hey, if you wanna read more of our stuff, please check me out at The Daily DDT (http://dailyddt.com/author/mattlperri/) for all my wrestling editorials and opinion, visit WE HATE YOUR GIMMICK at http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com and, of course, visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/wehateyourgimmick/.
But Kofi has never been tag team champs with Big E.!
ReplyDeleteAh! That's what I'm supposed to care about! :)
ReplyDeleteStealing the Team Hell No gimmick isn't the worst thing they can do with those guys...
ReplyDeleteAh, noncommittal PG booking!
ReplyDelete- Mr. Woods-
- Dr. Woods, please
- Dr. Woods, in recent weeks you've spoken of superstars who need to step up and take what's theirs. Which superstars do you mean?
- You know who I mean
- So you're looking at superstars like Big E and Kofi Kingston?
- Yes, as well as any other Bla- I mean funkiness-endowed superstars.
Will Dancin' Devin Harris leave for the WWE?
SlaterGator worked better this week than last week. I will say that.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the point of having super heated guys like Dean Ambrose work main event. If anything it should be an opportunity for newer guys on the roster up from NXT and divas to work longer matches to get accustomed to the big stage. Alberto Del Rio would be a good heel ring general to try to show someone like Adam Rose, who clearly needs a hand, how to work a ten minute match...dull as his character is he has solid fundamentals.
ReplyDeleteI was going to watch some Network but I got roped into Enough Said on HBO. James Gandolfini is great...was great....just another reason to miss him. I am sad that great little stories like this barely move the needle at the box office and Melissa McCarthy's latest Obnoxious Fat Bitch vehicle makes billions.
Review needs more banter between you and Danielle. That's what keeps me coming back to her 40,000 word Total Divas recaps. I'll be skipping these reviews until at least after Summerslam.
ReplyDeleteOh. Cool.
ReplyDelete:) LOL
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. Forgot to stick in my patented emoticon.
ReplyDelete:D
SOMEBODY CALL HIS MOMMA!!!!!
ReplyDeleteif you want to find out if he is leaving or staying.
Dean Ambrose is working Main Event to make Main Event a show you don't skip.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan worked the first Main Event show that went live on the Network.
Why do they constantly throw together tag-teams with no angles,promos or anything to establish this new random/wacky pairing first?
ReplyDeleteDoing it this half assed way has worked once. The New Age Outlaws, hell even they had an angle where they both dropped their stupid music gimmicks and beat up the Honky Tonk Man together. So yeah it's actually never worked.
He couldn't have at least made an appearance on RAW?
ReplyDeleteHopefully you're equally offended when Seth Rogen's latest Obnoxious Scruffy Dude vehicle makes billions.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Main Event and Superstars, I wish they could find a balance between pushing mid-carders, including bigger names, and not showing so many RAW/Smackdown replays. Ideally you could take the mid-card angles like Xavier Woods' new faction, or this Titus-Slater team, or Adam Rose vs. Sandow or whatever else you give 1-2 minutes on RAW, and treat them like "main event" angles on Main Event so they can develop. Not only do the mid-carders need that platform to improve in the ring, they can use it to improve their acting and mic work in front of a crowd.
He should have been on Raw too. But working main event isn't itself a demotion.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds of me the Sopranos episode where Christopher has to take off his pants and Paulie replies: I guess you can call that a dick. On the contrary, I guess you can call this a review.
ReplyDeleteSo you're saying that you want The Honky Tonk Man involved here?
ReplyDeleteRogan is hardly the same thing. He's not wallowing in lame jokes and stereotypes and then waiting for the white knights to roll in when someone calls it what it is.
ReplyDeleteZach Galifianakis is a more apt comparison. At least for playing the same obnoxious character ad infinitum.
You're saying you don't?
ReplyDeleteA Del Rio match without intensity or heat. Say it ain't so!
ReplyDeleteOnce again Del Rio avoids doing a clean JOB.
ReplyDelete