The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 03.27.95
Taped from Stockton, CA
Your hosts are Jim Ross & Gorilla Monsoon, so I guess this is a repackage of the Sunday Night Slam show? And why not show THAT in between the 3/20 show and this one? I know the people putting this network together aren’t actually paying that much attention, but GEEZ. This is actually the kind of thing people are complaining about.
Vince McMahon and Todd preview Wrestlemania, recapping the Diesel v. Shawn storyline and then the LT v. Bigelow one. Hey, and then Jarrett v. Razor as well, as the entire first 2/3 of the show is WM previews.
No Holds Barred: Bret Hart v. Owen Hart
So they meet again for the first time for the last time! Bret attacks and hammers away in the corner to start, then tosses him and beats him up on the floor as well. And we go back to the dressing room, but this isn’t 1998 so Bret hauls him right back to the ring again. Back in, Bret pounds away on the ropes, but Owen drops him with a cheapshot and PULLS DOWN THE STRAPS. Oh, it’s on now! Owenzuigiri gets two. He tosses Bret and runs him into the railing, and we take a break. Back with Owen holding a chinlock, and he hangs Bret in the Tree of Woe and pulls the turnbuckle off the other corner. The ref helps Bret down, and that triggers a RAGE in Gorilla, because he fucking hates referees who interfere with the wrestlers. Bret reverses Owen into the exposed turnbuckle and drops an elbow for two. Backbreaker gets two. A NASTY piledriver gets two. Owen blocks the Sharpshooter with the old eyepoke and runs Bret into the exposed turnbuckle, which gives his usual bump a double whammy of awesome. Owen to the top, but Bret sidesteps the missile dropkick and slingshots him into the turnbuckle in a fantastic sequence, before putting him away with the Sharpshooter at 14:15. Had the done this at Wrestlemania instead of Bret-Backlund, it would have stolen the show. ***3/4
Next week: The fallout from Wrestlemania, as Shawn’s luck goes from bad to worse!
That was a quick rant... didn't even have to scroll the page. I too demand the SNS Special. I want to see Bam Bam vs. Seonne... or is it Sionne... or Sione'?
ReplyDeleteWant to congratulate anyone who spends three hours watching wrestling every Monday. Sounds like hell.
ReplyDeleteDid they really hype the "last" Bret vs Owen match before this? I remember something slightly different, where they hyped Owen's last title match against Bret on the Action Zone.
ReplyDeletei never do so. Maybe that's why I'm not burned out on the product, and still find WWE enjoyable when I occasionally tune in. Small doses = better.
ReplyDeleteOwenzuigiri....that's awesome
ReplyDeleteFor the network or Hulu: shitty raws in less than 30 min (no replays, fast forward to endings, no divas, sort of like that raw in less than 5 min web series
ReplyDeleteThe 90 minute Hulu version really exposes how bloated the three hour show is, between the constant replays and commercials and shilling.
ReplyDeleteThere really was no reason WMXI had to be as bad as it ended up being. Just blow off Bret and Backlund at the Rumble and build to an Owen-Bret "I Quit" match at Mania, do Luger/Tatanka in the cage like you'd been planning, feud Bulldog with Backlund or a Backlund-managed Yoko, turn the Gunns heel and have Kid/Holly chase them, and you can leave the rest as it is.
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't have been a blowaway card or anything, but it would have at least felt like a culmination, as opposed to one or two matches surrounded by seismic amounts of nothing.
That was indeed hyped as Owen's "last" shot at the title. Action Zone really had it's moments of awesome before turning into a D-level recap show.
ReplyDeleteLuger vs. Tatanka in a Cage sucked a wet fart (as did most of their matches). That match would've made sense but would've died no matter what. I'm glad it was left off the table.
ReplyDeleteMOM vs. Smoking Gunns would've made sense with the heel turn already taped to air a month before Mania XI, and Bret vs. Owen would've indeed been an undercard saver.
I remember Bret vs. Owen NHB being above **** but I may be mixing it up with an action zone match. They did this match SO much around this time.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, good to know about Luger/Tatanka. I never actually saw the match so just assumed it would have helped the card to have a match with an actual story behind it, instead of the random Allied Powers/Blu Brothers match.
ReplyDeleteI figured MOM vs. Gunns would have had the same issue: like, is it worth it to have a bad match on the card because it has a story behind it? Or is it better to have a contextless match with better in-ring potential on your biggest show of the year?
I feel like the answer, ultimately, is to not book two people in programs together if the match is going to suck. But this was 1995 WWF, so the pickins were embarrassingly slim in terms of guys who could actually go. We're spoiled today.
RAW actually went to fucking STOCKTON?!
ReplyDelete209, bitch.
ReplyDeleteYo
ReplyDeleteYou have the following guys in their (or close to) their primes on the roster: Diesel, Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Jeff Jarrett, Lex Luger, Tatanka, Heavenly Bodies, Headshrinkers, Smoking Gunns, and Undertaker. Shit, even Sid.
ReplyDeleteAnd THIS is what we got?
WM XI has to be as bad as it was because so it can be the real, definitive answer to the worst Wrestlemania question. I mean, IX has too fun of an atmosphere to hate. My dad, who loathes wrestling, let my brother and I put on the DVD audio on from the backseat player on a road trip because he was enjoying listening to Ross, Heenan and Savage so much.
ReplyDeleteI actually Taker was going back into the ring to put Edge over, give him some respect on a hard fought battle (like he did for Hardy after the ladder match). How wrong I was.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great trivia question.
ReplyDeleteI'll use this forum to once again complain about Edge being needless jobbed out at the WM23 MITB match, which cost us WM24 being Streak vs. Streak.
ReplyDeleteHad Edge still been a perfect 6-0 going into Orlando, I think there would've been legitimate belief that Taker would finally lose. Edge was younger and seemingly had many more years of wrestling ahead of him (man, this business is funny sometimes), the Vickie marriage angle still had tons of heat and Taker would've been 15-0 so he would've still gone out on a round number. Would've made a nice parallel to Andre's alleged 15-year unbeaten run, as Andre and Undertaker are the two greatest special attraction monsters in WWE history.
edge is the most over rated wrestler ever. his finisher sucked (the tackle), his music sucked (orton's is better the "you think you know me, you think you know me *techno* you think you know me, *watered down techno break* you think you know me, you think you know me, you think you know me), and i'd rather watch kurt angle act in sharknado 2 then watch an edge promo. if he was so good, why couldn't he transition from in ring to broadcast commentary like savage or hennig? he's a douche and the only reason you nut huggers like him is nostalgia.
ReplyDeleteNext time try to sound less desperate to get an argument going.
ReplyDeleteAlso, sentences. Sentences are cool.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteHe's right, though. Nostalgia is the only reason I like Edge. I remember when I was watching him and enjoying his particular brand of sports entertainment and thinking, "This makes me so nostalgic for what I'm seeing live right now!"
ReplyDelete