Monday
Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls
Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators:
Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
I'm really starting to
feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard
and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while
the old guard just won't shut up and get out of the way. There's
room for the older generation in a company because the young guys
have no credibility without wins over established names, but there
comes a point where it's time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that
was well over a year ago. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of
last week's main event stuff in case you're having a hard time
staying awake this week.
Recap of Hogan vs. Nash
with Goldberg basically as a plot device.
We see Harlem Heat
reuniting on Thunder.
Harlem
Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow
Non-title
with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your
mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying
David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh
you know it's on now. Well at least Harlem Heat's music is on, minus
the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the
black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they're in
black and white.
Page
leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest.
Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it's off to his
brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a
power brawl. It's Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually
blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker
and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting.
Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it
be Stevie vs. Bigelow?
Anyway, Bigelow offers
a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex
puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two.
It's not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow's mama was worse
than Chris'. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing
the flying forearm.
The hot tag brings in
Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care.
Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury
Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends
Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come
out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save,
allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.
Rating:
C+.
This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace
from the stuff I've been sitting through lately, but at the same time
I'm really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag
team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be
great, but I really don't want to see the team again in late 1999.
Booker is the guy that
should be the US Champion, but instead we're sitting through an angle
designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn't have the
power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn't done something
about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for
like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn't he like, done something
yet?
Benoit wants a match
later with Page.
Lenny
and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they're gay you see and
gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY'RE
GAY YET??? I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH
YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE!
Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?
Opening
sequence.
Chad Brock will be
performing next week. I don't know who he is either.
Here's President Sting
with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but
needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to
think that's quite a jolly idea. He'll be back here at 9pm to get
Goldberg's answer.
Sonny and the Cat
(sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip
on Buff's bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he's going to whip
someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here
right now. If they show up, he'll tell them where he shops.
Apparently this is a match.
The
Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi
They're
now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their
heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating
on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving
Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can
pin Lane.
Ok, time to pause for a
second. Let's take a look at this. We have two men who are
apparently gay, even though I don't think it's actually been said
yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the
book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then
apparently they're stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in
less than two minutes because they're weak fighters. Oh and they're
brothers because why not make an incest joke too.
What
in the world is the point of this storyline? If there's any reason
behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can't see
it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints
from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a
case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved
every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW
got.
Compare them to the
version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I'm not
saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights,
but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To
begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other
words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single
match between the two of them since this story started?
On
top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren't treated as
something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy,
but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi
are seemingly getting beaten up because they're easy targets. Billy
and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This
story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really
hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly
brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW
trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.
Here's
Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle
guy. Anyway here's Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made
of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks
have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead
of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras
had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so
lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn't have
stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING.
Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.
Sting
comes out to get Goldberg's answer. We see Goldberg looking at a
clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner
before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room
where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in
the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.
This
goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat
Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting
fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for
the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6'10
300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but
whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main
event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the
match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster
but the build was good.
Evan
Karagias vs. Disco Inferno
Karagias
speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can
tell there's something here as the announcers actually stop prattling
on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that,
Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic
drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A
second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right
hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco
actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick.
The Last Dance is enough for the pin.
Rating:
C.
Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It's so
rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah
it's a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his
experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact
that there's something to a match this short says a lot. I've said
it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over
thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it's going to be
entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough
to make a match work.
Torrie
thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like
it because he's already beaten everyone. Ok then.
Video on David Flair's
US Title reign.
KISS is here in three
weeks.
Nitro Girls.
Sid says.....something
in a whisper that I couldn't understand other than the word Goldberg.
Hugh
Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas
The
youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a
Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save.
The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not
really but you get the idea. Back in and it's Morrus gorilla
pressing Shane, which I'm sure is Ric Flair's fault somehow. Shane
escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that's enough wrestling for
Shane so it's back to Malenko for a rollup.
Apparently
Dean isn't cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group
with people who have put up with WCW's nonsense so he tags him right
back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No
Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag
brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another
clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat
before Flynn starts kicking.
We
run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from
the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag
and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his
495th
kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas
cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two.
Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin
Jerry.
Rating:
D+.
Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing
tag team! Clearly they're ready to move to the top of the company
and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too
late as we had to sit through Bagwell's push just dying and the Triad
going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three
day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these
guys could light the world on fire but it's never going to matter
because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of
paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.
Malenko takes the
Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he's bringing this back to Fit
Finlay where it belongs.
Speaking of the musical
acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.
Goldberg Megadeath
video.
Nitro Girls.
In a bizarre segment,
Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly
to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.
We
come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an
ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff
babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of
Stephanie McMahon's stupid interviews where she just goes on and on
about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while
no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she's
talking about.
Sturn
comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about
how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the
next generation. I'm sure that's why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in
a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs.
Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn't actually have a match
announced.
As
if that wasn't enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on
Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution
can't get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again,
you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit
and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want
a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches
and turn 40.
Anyway
Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death
Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now
because he isn't a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.
Saturn
vs. Curt Hennig
Saturn
is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro
and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the
face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the
corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as
Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low
blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don't remember
the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he
rips Curt's shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel
kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.
Rating:
D+.
This was just story development as I'm assuming we're setting up the
Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really
wasn't the best match in the world but again, that's due to the lack
of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham
instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather
than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn't
manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so
they're improving.
The
Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in
for the save.
Video of Benoit getting
screwed out of the US Title last week.
Chris
Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page
All
this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until
Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex.
Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the
Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page
nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and
Benoit grabs the snap suplex.
Remember
a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the
midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he
was before and Page has just been going through the motions for
months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy.
Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter
bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works
in real life) for two.
Another
low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another
two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and
superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans
but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets
two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive
connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron.
The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one
of his own for the pin.
Rating:
C+.
Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a
former World Champion. Like I said it's a far cry from their great
US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it's always good to
see Benoit get something like this. It wasn't even that overbooked
with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit
gets to keep this momentum going.
And of course it lasts
all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off
the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt,
apparently continuing their.....I'm not sure what to call it because
a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn't sound like much
of a feud.
Here's Savage on his
own to talk to Okerlund. He's suspended his campaign for President
(oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and
Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the
former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again
so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says
she's still fired.
Cue
Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they
mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably
because once you've gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once
you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman
comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love
it as we go to a break.
Why are these two
feuding? That's a serious question. One night Savage just started
talking trash about Rodman and now we're watching this mess every
week. As has been my issue for months, why isn't this ANY ACTIVE WCW
WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It
worked wonders for Page last year but now it's all about Dennis
Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have
some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer
for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?
Vampiro
vs. Eddie Guerrero
Vampiro
has Raven and the Clowns with him. It's amusing hearing Heenan talk
about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are
and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to
him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to
apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I'd prefer
he just apologize for the previous segment but I'd rather not hear
him talk about doing the right thing again.
A clothesline turns
Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is
sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some
cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie
trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and
dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking
dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting
up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.
Rating:
C-.
Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the
Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks
and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a
huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking
spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But
hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to
mean something right?
The Clowns beat Eddie
down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.
Berlyn is coming. I
actually liked that character.
Hogan comes out for
commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.
Sid/Rick
Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting
Hogan's
first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There's a
LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over
with. It's a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes
Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four
seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess
these old guys can't handle having a match at this point. Steiner
sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the
match actually gets going.
Sting
takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast
save. That's enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on
the mat hits knees. Sid's legdrop hits the mat though and Sting
loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything
breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally
it's time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him
in the head with it, drawing a DQ.
Rating:
D.
Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg
never actually tagging in. It's a shame that the main event is being
hogged by these guys but that's a broken record at this point. This
is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches
at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to
gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and
Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning
heel. This really shouldn't surprise you.
Cue
Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers' table to end the
show. It's a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that
it was clearly gimmicked.
Overall
Rating: C-.
I hate to admit it but they're getting a little better. Maybe I'm
just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn't hate this
episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine
and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly
about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing.
At this point it's more that you have to just accept what you're
given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get
weaker and weaker every week.
The
Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see
them chomping at the bit to take over, but they're clearly running on
a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over
instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the
guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because
once you're a draw, you're ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can't
become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest
guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a
catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but
still weak show here.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6