The kickoff show starts at 7pm EST. Matches include:
The New Day vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd & Adam Rose in an Elimination Match
The Miz & Damien Mizdow vs. The Usos for the WWE Tag Team Titles
New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension
Nikki & Brie Bella vs. Paige & Natalya
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
30 Man Royal Rumble Match
Talk all about the show here and lets hope we get something good and some direction heading into WrestleMania. And if this thread gets far too big, I will start a second one.
Oh God, I feel like I'm going to shit out a long…
ReplyDeletetapeworm?
ReplyDeleteThe third most interesting match on the card ends up on the preshow?
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to be excited for a PPV again.
ReplyDeleteYes. Because fuck you. Jerk.
ReplyDelete- WWE Creative
Billy Gunn?
ReplyDeleteBryan wins or we riot.
ReplyDeleteAlright, I'm ready to RUUUUUUMBLE!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the network plug.
ReplyDeleteOFFICIAL PREDICTIONS:
ReplyDeleteNew Day Win
Usos Win
Ascension Win
A Women Tag Team Wins
Lesnar Wins
Rock Wins the Rumble
Alright, let's put some lipstick on this pig and get this rodeo started!
ReplyDeleteGet the riot gear ready!
ReplyDelete:: knifes you ::
ReplyDeleteThere you go, dude.
Bryan wins or we Wyatt
ReplyDeleteThat's marketing.
ReplyDeleteWell that escalated quickly
ReplyDeleteClever for a sign at the show.
ReplyDeleteI'll answer the question that is one every one of your minds... my numbers tonight are 4, 6, 9, 17, 24, and 27! You're Welcome!
ReplyDeletePlease, Hoss, I'm wearing riot gear in preparation of Bryan losing. That knife will do nothing to me!
ReplyDeletesuddenly Wyatt is being discussed on other sites as a probable winner. Who out of Cena, Rollins or Lesnar could he have a WM Main event level feud with?
ReplyDeleteJust say wrestlers, goddammit.
ReplyDeleteYou all ready for the Roman party tonight?
ReplyDeleteJesus. The promo for NXT just screams:
ReplyDelete"Hey, remember what wrestling used to be?"
If Rock fights and wins tonight, will they call him Rumble Johnson?
ReplyDeleteRemember kids, do not sports entertain at home.
ReplyDeleteHeh.
ReplyDeleteFun Fact: Winning number will be 21
ReplyDeleteZack Ryder is still in the "Don't try this at home" spot. And they say he's been buried...
ReplyDeleteI actually really like this advert for the WWE.
ReplyDelete'Lax.
ReplyDeleteFatassery is more like it. I decided to grab a burrito from Taco Bell for lunch, then some chips and beer for tonight. We opened the chips early, and it was a poor decision.
ReplyDeleteFair enough.
ReplyDelete:: runs over you with hijacked ice cream truck ::
Kid!
ReplyDeleteIt's ok. I only do pro wrestling at home.
ReplyDeleteTheir editing team is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteScherer pull that number?
ReplyDeleteAlright, predictions:
ReplyDeleteNew Day wins, Cesaro looks like a chump.
Usos beat Miz & Mizdow. - kicks off a feud between the two.
Ascension wins, then get punked out by the Dudleyz.
Bellas win because of who they're fucking.
Brock retains the WWE title
Bryan wins the Rumble.
One burrito and some chips give you tummy problems?
ReplyDeletewhat're you, a 12 year old lil girl?
The 8 year old in me wants cesaro to win the rumble
ReplyDeleteSting or Taker
ReplyDeleteI assume the song playing on a loop on the YT channel while I wait for the preshow to start is the official theme for the show. It's boring.
ReplyDeleteO'Doyle Rules!
ReplyDeleteYes, I only have a GED and thus unable to make my own prediction unless I take it from the elite section of his website.
ReplyDeleteIt always has been compare WCW and WWF during the Monday Night Wars and there's no contest.
ReplyDeleteI'm mean that really got out of hand.
ReplyDeleteIf it didn't kill the Rock in 2002, I'll survive.
ReplyDeleteGood evening.
ReplyDeleteMy stream has froze twice now.
ReplyDeleteThen now forever
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteWWE - IMMORTALS
Uh.
Pass.
This is one of the shittiest undercards I've seen in a long time.
ReplyDeleteMy body is ready to receive the Rumble.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfTvmbizNyQ
ReplyDeleteIs there tension at Kensington Enterprises?
ReplyDeleteTUNE IN TOMORROW NIGHT TO BoD RUMBLE AND FIND OUT
Bunny miscommunication in the kickoff match leads to Rose unmasking the Bunny during the Rumble
ReplyDeletePretty sure you're not Dwayne.
ReplyDeleteIs Austin in it?
ReplyDeleteIts bad.
ReplyDeleteDon't let us down, Philly crowd.
ReplyDeleteI just said that to Lindsey Lohan's agent last night.
ReplyDeleteOld WCW PPVs almost make no sense due to the lack of video packages putting matches in perspective. When you do have videos, they're poorly edited.
ReplyDeleteWWE Part Timers
ReplyDeleteFrom the Makers of Mortal Kombat
heh...that had me giggling like a little girl.
ReplyDeleteYou get HHH in a suit, deal with it!
ReplyDeleteIt's actually really quite an achievement, graphically and art-direction wise. Not the most fun game ever, but impressive.
ReplyDelete... A bean burrito, half a bag of chips and Hershey's minis. I haven't had junk food in a long time.
ReplyDeleteYou know why he picked 21? The 2 is for the number of homes he owns... the 1 is for the number of homes he could easily afford.
ReplyDeleteAnd to you.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Adam Levine join the preshow team?
ReplyDeleteLol what happened to Riley?
ReplyDeleteMy predictions.
ReplyDelete6 Man Tag - Cesaro lone survivor.
tag title - USOs win, Miz smacks Mizdow, leading to them interacting in the Rumble
Ascension squashes NAO
Natalya/Paige win to set up 4 way title match
Brock retains the WWE title
Bryan wins the Rumble.
If I can quit shitting first...
ReplyDeleteOne of the things WWE never picked up on that WCW nailed perfectly was how to stack an undercard. I bought my fair share of WCW PPVs largely on the undercard alone. The main events were white hot shit, but as long as you had a tight cruiserweight title match, a TV title match, and a lucha six-man, I was THERE.
ReplyDeleteWe find your optimism...amusing.
ReplyDelete- WWE Creative
Corey graves looks like a giant douche
ReplyDeleteWait, is Corey Graves supposed to be handsome? He looks like a skellington.
ReplyDeleteSurprise entrant!
ReplyDeleteCorey Graves is here to fuck your girlfriend... and record it.
ReplyDeleteI'm I the only one that thinks they booked that shit undercard because a dead crowd is better than a crowd just shitting all over everything? Fucking hell, I know I've said how bad it sucks, but actually seeing it? Jesus...
ReplyDeleteWho is this blonde? She is annoying but more bangable than every diva on the roster.
ReplyDeleteThe DC version it's based on is fun for a 5 minute diversion.
ReplyDeleteTurd sandwich!
ReplyDeleteRemember that wrestling game where it was all cartoony and shit where Undertaker would uppercut you and you'd fly 15 feet in the air while ghosts flew out of his fists and shit? I miss that game.
ReplyDeleteTo all those people who said you'll never get a decent job with a neck tattoo ... Corey Graves is in a TUX at work. So yeah.
ReplyDeleteIt's jsut a matter of time until Renee gets a real job.
ReplyDeleteSo bad. Triple Threat title match will be really good I'm sure, but Christ what a bunch of throwaway RAW matches they have here
ReplyDeleteGiant douche
ReplyDeleteThere's so much talent there that's just being wasted.
ReplyDeleteIn Your House?
ReplyDeleteHEYMAN & The Masters of the Universe sign wins the evening early.
ReplyDeletePorn star.
ReplyDeleteThat Heyman poster/sign in the background is amazing
ReplyDeleteall those words, and my mind gets stuck on "white hot shit."
ReplyDeleteI have issues.
Corey Graves looks like a junkie Vanilla Ice
ReplyDeleteRenee Young, Dean Ambrose's girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteIt's fun to pass the time in the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteCorey Graves looks like an ex con
ReplyDeleteProbably Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game.
ReplyDeleteThat is right.
ReplyDeleteRumble sells itself. That's how it should be. If Brock is supposed to leave with the belt, I would have led the proverbial lamb to slaughter against him.
ReplyDeleteIf only to keep Rollins & Cena in the Rumble match itself.
I suddenly hate Dean
ReplyDeleteAnything can happen, MAGGLE!
ReplyDeleteRenee Young
ReplyDeleteDean Ambrose's Current Girlfriend, My Future Wife
Hacksaw isn't literate enough to have made that tweet.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Shawn have a mirror that he'd drop on you?
ReplyDeleteWhat!? Dean, my man
ReplyDeleteWins the evening early!
ReplyDeleteOr the face of hepatitis.
ReplyDeleteShit they're actually discussing the Rock and building him up.
ReplyDeleteRock tossed by Rusev then
ReplyDeleteThis one was the best. Played kinda like Mortal Kombat.
ReplyDeleteYeah. The WCW undercards were the best part of the shows.
ReplyDeleteAt least a giant douche is clean.
ReplyDeleteI don't like the haircut Renee has on most women but she rocks it nicely.
ReplyDeleteDude. There are not sufficient words to express my disappointment.
ReplyDeleteWCW main events were the sizzle... the undercard was the steak.
ReplyDeleteWe've gotten spoiled. I'm going back and watching all the Manias. There's some hot garbage on those early undercards.
ReplyDeleteLana throwing it down on The Rock.
ReplyDeleteNah, if she was going to do that she'd have already jumped ship.
ReplyDeleteTurd Sandwich!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing. Girlfriend makes it work.
ReplyDeleteHope he wins the Rumble
ReplyDeleteAre they really going with Rusev vs Rock at Mania? Geez. Gotta build him up more for Cena I suppose. Sad.
ReplyDeleteTEW Update: After the May PPV I had Triple H suspend Roman Reigns for "assaulting an employee" after accidentally spearing the timekeeper through the barricade during a match. Then at the MITB match, he goes rogue and returns from his suspension to screw over Golden Boy Sheamus, giving Cena the win (who will uncharacteristically cash-in on Bryan a week later only to get destroyed by Brock Lesnar). Then I'll have him beat Sheamus on Raw to win his job back.
ReplyDeleteWe know Rock doesn't scare you Lana... you eye fucked him the entire time you were in the ring together.
ReplyDeleteSooooo Rock-Rusev at Mania?
ReplyDeleteIt was funny how obvious it was too. Anyone could see that .
ReplyDelete"The Eater of Worlds"? What the hell?!?!?
ReplyDeleteThe UK version of the Network is 15 second behind live for some reason. Restarted it and it's exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteGot a good laugh for that one.
ReplyDeleteI can't quite put my finger on why, but I absolutely loathe Byron Saxton.
ReplyDeleteThere's some hot ass garbage on this. I'd take the Red fucking Rooster getting squashed over a bunch of jobbers the WWE doesn't care about.
ReplyDeleteIs that reddit guy giving away spoilers still doing that?
ReplyDeleteThere's one guy picking Reigns.
ReplyDeleteI like Renee's new haircut.
ReplyDeleteShe likes caramel skinned men it seems.
ReplyDeleteBooker T chant. I want in on that.
ReplyDeleteok, bought the network to see the boogeyman. Apparently I can only watch on my phone though
ReplyDeleteHe had really bad wrestling pants.
ReplyDeleteI thought roman reigns would say suffering succatash
ReplyDeleteWyatt, Reigns, Rusev all picked by the panel to win the Rumble. And Renee with the smart pick!
ReplyDeleteGimmick infringement cried Galactus!
ReplyDeleteNah, he got butthurt at people calling his credibility into question and bailed.
ReplyDeleteHow about some Adorable Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer to tide you over!
ReplyDeleteBryan, Reigns, Rusev, Wyatt are the preshow panel's picks. Booker T specifically throws cold water on Bryan's chances. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteSee, I can't even get excited about the Rumble. And it's not that if Reigns wins I'll be pissed, but WWE has totally forgotten how to book it. The last 4 have been shit, and I don't expect anything better this year.
ReplyDeleteThat would be incredible. I'd totally mark out for that. I am the problem.
ReplyDeleteThat means Randy Orton wins
ReplyDeleteI'd probably go gay for The Rock.
ReplyDeleteI mean what?
Fandango looking very rapey there
ReplyDeleteDon't want in on that chant so much anymore.
ReplyDeleteRenee is cute but she isn't that hot. She looks like your friends girlfriend or something.
ReplyDeleteRenee isn't gonna pick her man?
ReplyDeleteHaven't we already seen that match a million times?
ReplyDelete*Pet Rock
ReplyDeleteFTFY
I love how this turns us all into nitpicking detectives.
ReplyDeleteFour? I say it's been shit for much longer than that. The 2009 show sucked. 2008 was saved by the Cena surprise.
ReplyDeleteHaven't been that up to date on dirt sheets lately, what NXT guys are supposed to be in the Rumble tonite of any? Philly would blow their load if Sami came out
ReplyDeleteSOLD, MAGGLE
ReplyDeleteShe's attainably hot. That's why she's so desirable. Like, if I ran into her at a bar after a show, I feel reasonably certain I could make that happen.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I couldn't. But I could envision the means by which I could.
Nobody thinks Ambrose can win.
ReplyDeleteThat top is doing it for me.
ReplyDeleteBingo
ReplyDeleteI think I'll watch the Pro Bowl instead lol
ReplyDeleteExactly. Her entire appeal is that she's attractive, but attractive enough than fans think "hey, if I have a good night..."
ReplyDeleteShe's seen what a loser he is.
ReplyDeleteHaven't heard of anyone specifically.
ReplyDeleteI like how all the male announcers they keep getting look like guys you want to punch in the face.
ReplyDeleteHe's The Bunny.
ReplyDeleteDid you saw the last Cage of Death?
Much more interested in the how then the who regarding this PPV. Woohoo Rumble!
ReplyDeleteEvery bitch has her price.
ReplyDeleteOr, can be knocked out and dragged off.
Whichever.
This backstage guy is whiter than Tebow.
ReplyDeleteLike the friend's girlfriend I slept with just for the hell of it? Yes, please.
ReplyDeleteShe has ugly arms. Weird complaint I know... but it is something I look at.
ReplyDeleteRenee has a haircut, though it's sadly not the more extensive one that would indicate she's fresh off of a break-up and is ready to suck however many dicks it takes to make Dean Ambrose jealous
ReplyDeleteRowan's not in the Rumble, right?
ReplyDelete^Protege
ReplyDeleteRenee remind me of michelle beadle
ReplyDeleteDid not. What happened at it?
ReplyDeletePLEASE BUY THE NETWORK!!! We have investors in two weeks!
ReplyDelete... and she's into wrestling.
ReplyDelete^ Best in the world. Trying to live up to it.
ReplyDeleteHe's not at the moment, but he could end up in anyway.
ReplyDeleteHer Wrestlemania outfit last year was where it was at.
ReplyDeletehttps://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/renee-young-espn-wwe.png?w=650
Is she? I think its probably just a paycheck.
ReplyDeleteI'm all up in this social media lounge, ready for some Rumble
ReplyDeleteso kofi isn't in the rumble? Isn't that why he's still on the roster?
ReplyDeleteIn theory: he lost his qualifier on Smackdown to Harper.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible there's some envy there, like you kinda wish you had their job, which makes you want to punch them in the face?
ReplyDeleteIs Natalya still mad at Paige for dry humping her?
ReplyDeleteYep. That's the ticket.
ReplyDeleteSo is Paige a face now?
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. So really, Bryan-Ziggler-Ryback should be first 3.
ReplyDeleteI'm not the biggest CZW, but I enjoyed the ME. BLK Jeez got the belt in a 4way cage of death.
ReplyDeleteConference call should only be year-end, so Rumble won't be included.
ReplyDeletei'm having a social media lounge added on to my house
ReplyDeleteNope. Yet Alex Riley is, for some reason. I imagine they need jobbers for Reigns to bounce.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA!! He Runs in and runs to other side of the ring and falls over the top rope. No one touches him.
ReplyDeleteA hotter Beadle.
ReplyDeleteOn my face. Yes.
ReplyDelete