I've had a hell of a weekend.
That was just the beginning.
For those who got to hear the audio team fucking with the audio on the show, you might have missed these gems:
Let's move...
We are LIVE(!!!) from my hometown in San Jose, California!!!
JBL, Cole and Booker are the guys on the mics.
Brock comes out to a huge pop (I mean, HUGE...the roof practically blew off) and has Paul Heyman with him. Heyman calls Lesnar "the biggest ass-kicker of the PG era". He says that Lesnar did nothing but suplex the shit out of Reigns. The Smark crowd starts their first chant: "SUPLEX CITY". Heyman corrects them: "Or...as my client said -- Suplex City...BITCH!". He recaps how Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and stole the title. He's pissed and says that the rules weren't clear and that he can go down to Sacramento, go to the 7th Circuit Court, have the decision reversed, and hold WWE up in litigation for months. But, he doesn't wanna do that because Lesnar thinks all lawyers are scumbags. So, that's not happening. Instead, all Lesnar wants to do is move on and invoke his rematch clause...and that's happening TONIGHT.
Steph comes out and recaps how great WrestleMania was tonight. The crowd chants "Ronda Rousey". Steph tells them if they want the re-match, they should all shut up. She insults Lesnar and says that Rollins kicked him around, too. She says that Rollins will be here soon -- and when he gets here, Lesnar and Heyman will find that he's up for the challenge.
Heyman says that he has a prediction: Lesnar will destroy Rollins and Lesnar will, once again. be the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
TONIGHT: John Cena issues an open challenge for anyone who wants the U.S. Championship, the Christmas fruitcake of the WWE Championship case.
ALSO: Daniel Bryan defends the IC Title against Dolph Ziggler.
MATCH #1: Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs. Daniel Bryan (champion) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
The crowd inside the Shark Tank was already blowing the fuck up. The first minute is, basically, the two of them trying to lock up and get a grip on one another while the crowd tries a LET'S GO BRYAN/ZIGGLER chant. Nothing happens for the next 30 seconds and the crowd is already yelling, "THIS IS AWESOME" when it clearly isn't "awesome" at all yet, so this is the type of crowd these guys dealt with. Bryan hits the Surfboard, prompting Cole to name-drop Half Moon Bay because that's a place where you can SURF, BRO. When we come back from break, Bryan nails Ziggler with a running dropkick. The two brawl in the corner and Bryan manages to hit a Super Side Suplex from the top rope. Two count. Yes Kicks but Bryan misses the Roundhouse. Ziggler rolls him up for two. The two fight for a backslide pin and Bryan ends up heading into the turnbuckle. Ziggler hits a Superkick, countering the Flying Knee. He NEARLY gets the fall. Both men get up and do the mutual headbutt spot from last night. Bryan eventually knocks Ziggler away and hits the Running Knee at 11:52 for the win.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Daniel Bryan
RATING: **. The match was better when it wasn't interrupted. There was more to it than this.
Post-match, Barrett gets in the ring to beat up Daniel Bryan -- but Sheamus comes out, sporting a mohawk and beard dreadlocks. He fights off Barrett and checks on Ziggler. The crowd doesn't care and they shit all over him and this spot. Sheamus dares Barrett to get in the ring -- then attacks Bryan because, surprise, he's a heel. He takes out Ziggler with the Brogue as the crowd chants, "YOU LOOK STUPID". Sheamus just feeds off it and tells them bring more. He grabs a mic and says, "I'm back." Then he leaves.
COMING UP: Brock Lesnar faces Seth Rollins.
ALSO: A look at how Arnold and Nash were more important than Randy Savage.
AND: Sting will show up and spin the fact that he lost at WM 31 is a good thing.
When we come back, we run through the Hall of Fame stuff and it's on to the next match...
MATCH #2: The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) (w/ Xavier Woods) & Lucha Dragons (Kalisto & Sin Cara) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) & The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) in an 8-Man Tag Team Match
Sin Cara and Cesaro start off and Sin Cara tries to flip all over Cesaro, only to end up in a Flipping Backbreaker. Tag to Kalisto and he flips all over Cesaro like a fucking stripper pole, tossing him across the ring with a Hurricarana. Crowd lost their shit over this and starts chanting "NEW DAY SUCKS". Kofi and Konnor get in and battle. Kofi knees him in the gut and it's back to Sin Cara with an "NXT" chant as if they're just going down some sort of "chant list" handed to them at the door. When we come back, Cesaro is in the ring while the crowd does the "Ole" soccer chant. He beats on Sin Cara and tags Konnor who eats an Enzuguri. Tag to Kofi and the crowd shits all over him as he goes A-House-A-Fire on Konnor. Tag to Tyson and he gets hit with a Cross Body. Two count. Cesaro nails Kofi with an uppercut. Viktor tags himself in and that pisses off Cesaro. Kofi tags Kalisto who flips around like Mary Lou Retton on Jolt, nails Konnor and gets a two count. Cesaro saves the pin and it's Spot-a-palooza by every single guy until Kalisto ends it with the Salina Del Sol for the win at 10:04.
WINNERS: The Faces.
RATING: ***. Actually, this was good because Lucha Dragons looked like the only team that wanted to be there.
Brock comes out for the championship rematch. Rollins is out next -- and he actually taunts Lesnar with the belt. Lillian announces them...but when the match is about to begin, Seth bails from the ring. He says he's feeling jetlagged, which makes sense since Levi's Stadium is about 5 miles from SAP by freeway. He's pulling the rematch. Lesnar doesn't accept. He grabs Rollins and tries a German but Rollins lands on his feet and runs again. Lesnar chases and tries an F5 but J&J save him. Rollins gets away. Lesnar flips the announcer desk on top of Cole, JBL and Booker. He destroys some ringside staff, then grabs Cole as Cole runs for his life. Heyman begs Brock to let him go but Brock's inconsolable and hits an F5 on Cole, much to the delight of the crowd. He grabs a camera guy next and goes for an F5.
This prompts Steph to run out and stop Brock. Brock doesn't listen and F5's the camera guy. Steph suspends Lesnar and walks off. Crowd chants "BULLSHIT" as this entire segment was worth the show. We see the damage Brock has left behind as EMT's hit ringside to help a dead Booker and JBL.
When we come back, Cole is being loaded on a stretcher while Booker is waking a bit. JBL is still out.
We get clips from MOMENTS AGO when Brock unleashed hell following Rollins' escape.
Backstage, Steph is walking. Renee interrupts her and wants her to explain why she just suspended Brock Lesnar. Steph says that Lesnar's still an employee and he will get his rematch. She says that he's just suspended -- and she'll fine him, too. She says Brock isn't going back to MMA, either. He's under contract and she owns "that summabitch".
TONIGHT: John Cena begs someone, ANYONE to take his new toy belt. Seriously, he'll lay down and let them have it.
When we come back, Byron Saxton is all that's left of Brockpocalypse. He'll be doing commentary solo from here on out.
MATCH #3: Stardust vs. Damien Mizdow
Mizdow is still "Miz"-dow despite turning on Miz? Mm-kay. Miz-dow takes his sunglasses off and clotheslines Stardust. Miz-dow basically runs through Miz's moveset until Stardust kicks at him and hits a Front Suplex. Crowd chants "CODY" and cheers Miz-dow -- though Miz-dow's fandom is noticeably diminished. Star goes for a backbreaker but gets hit on a counter by the SCF. Miz-dow wins at 2:23.
WINNER: Damien Miz-dow
RATING: DUD. And, now, we find out if the fans truly care about Miz-dow.
Post-match, Miz attacks Miz-dow and hits the SCF. He yells in Miz-dow's face.
FOLLOWING RAW: Sting is interviewed.
LAST NIGHT: The Rock and Ronda Rousey confronted Steph and Triple H at WrestleMania. Highlights from that next.
We get the clips we're promised, then a nice media package showing our local print and television media covering WrestleMania.
Curtis Axel is in the ring. Axelmania, this. Axelmaniaxs, that. Ax-streme Rules is also now a thing. Neville debuts in case you wanna get to the part you care about. The match doesn't even begin and Neville attacks him, tossing Axel from the ring and flying right on top of him.
MATCH #4: Curtis Axel vs. Neville
Once back in the ring, Neville hits some flying lariats and some quick kicks. Crowd loves it. The Red Arrow wins it at 1:11. "Wow," says Saxton with all the excitement of a Speak n' Spell.
WINNER: Neville
RATING: DUD, but Neville's badass.
NEXT: John Cena faces the guy who reluctantly wants to try for the goofy 'Murica belt.
We come back from break and Byron explains that Brock is the reason we're hearing him instead of JBL and Cole arguing about Frodo.
Out comes Cena as the crowd boos him back to the Stone Age, singing "JOHN CENA SUUUUUUCKS". We take a look at clips of Rusev and Cena at WrestleMania last night. Cena says the crowd will hear about WrestleMania Moments all night long. Cena says that the crowd in San Jose is the best audience of the year. They actually pop. He calls them all, "budding musicians". This prompts the crowd to sing his theme song. He tells them that, if they believe that, they're gonna have an issue with this next one: THE CHAMP IS HERE! He says he's "dressed like Johnny Cash" (he's wearing all black, so that's valid, folks...he's just like Johnny Cash) and he puts out his challenge.
And out comes...
Dean Ambrose!
MATCH #5: John Cena (champion) vs. Dean Ambrose (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
Ambrose and Cena trade a couple of spots and, instantly, Byron sends us on our commercial break because we didn't want to see this match anyway. When we come back, King's with us because Byron's about to break down in tears and, suddenly, this is CNN live from New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. If anyone can explain why the desk is still on its side, please let me know. And somebody get these guys chairs. My fucking feet hurt watching them stand up. Cena hits moves 1 through 3 and Ambrose kicks him. He tries the Rebound Clothesline but Cena ducks and hits #3 again. He hits #4 and goes for an AA which Ambrose breaks from and counters with a Sunset Flip for two. Ambrose hits a horribly delayed and telegraphed Rebound Clothesline but Cena, being the good guy he is, eats it anyhow. He tries Dirty Deeds but Cena stops it. The two trade BOO/YAY punches, then end up in the corner where Ambrose hits a Tornado DDT for a two count. Cena ends up outside and Ambrose nails him from the top buckle. They both roll into the ring and, suddenly, Super Cena is up and hitting an AA for two. The two end up fighting near the corner and Ambrose botches a Falling Sunset Flip. He pulls Cena down but Cena counters and hits the STF. Ambrose breaks it, so Cena goes for an AA. Ambrose breaks that and hits a pseudo-STF. Cena tries for the ropes so Ambrose breaks the hold and pulls Cena back to the center of the ring. Cena kicks at Ambrose and tries another AA. Ambrose counters with Dirty Deeds and NEARLY gets the pin. Cena and Ambrose trade shots again. About 7 AA counters later and Cena finally hits an AA, retaining at 14:20, after countering a crossbody by Ambrose.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: John Cena via AA
RATING: ***. Not bad...but can we stop pretending Cena's suddenly a little indie mid-carder?
Post-match, Ambrose isn't happy. He gets up, though, as Cena goes for the RESPECTFUL POST-MATCH TRIPLE H HANDSHAKE. Ambrose accepts, kinda, and we move on.
LAST NIGHT: It was Suplex City, bitch, hefore Seth Rollins cashed in and won the match.
Renee Young speaks with Seth Rollins backstage. He thinks that Brock Lesnar is out of control. He got what he deserved. Orton shows up and reminds Rollins that he beat Rollins at WrestleMania last night. He wants Rollins' title...but Kane and Big Show show up to stop this noise real quick. Rollins says he'll face Orton -- in a tag match. He wants Orton to find two guys to face the three of them at the end of the night. Orton doesn't look happy.
AJ Lee heads to the ring as we go to break.
MATCH #6: AJ Lee, Paige, & Naomi vs. Natalya & The Bella Twins (Brie & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella) in a 6-Diva Tag Team Match
Nattie and Naomi begin the thing. Nattie escapes head scissors which looks like it would hurt if Naomi held on tighter to Nattie's neck. Naomi hits a sitting dropkick after rubbing her ass in Nattie's nose (DON'T DO THAT TO NATTIE! IT'S ALL SEXUAL AND FLIRTY AND STUFF!!!) Tag to Brie as the crowd chants for Paige. Brie puts Naomi in an armbar, then arm drags her to the mat. Naomi escapes and tags Paige. Paige hits headbutts and dumps Brie to the mat. Two count. Brie calls Paige a "loser", so Paige dives at her and both girls are outside the ring. It's a standoff between the remaining Divas as we go to commercial. It's Nattie and AJ when we come back. AJ breaks a submission move but Nattie kicks her and suplexes AJ for two. Nikki comes into the match and puts a chinlock on AJ who the crowd actually gets behind instead of mocking. AJ breaks the hold and runs to her corner but Nikki blocks her and dumps her to the mat. Two count. Naomi and Paige scream for a tag, so Nikki nails Naomi with a forearm and goes back to work on AJ with a Crosslock. AJ breaks and Nikki runs at Naomi and Paige, swinging with forearms. She gets to Paige but misses Naomi. Hot tag to Naomi and she hits Nikki with a high kick and crossbody. Nikki manages to counter a head scissors off the buckle and dumps Naomi to the mat. Paige saves the pin and it's a melee as Nattie hits SUPLEX CITY BITCH on Paige. The ring clears with Naomi in between Nikki and Brie. Nikki goes for her forearm -- but hits Brie instead. Naomi hits the Rear View to get the win at 13:07.
WINNERS: The faces
RATING: **1/2. Not a bad Divas tag. They're finally starting to take that roster seriously.
MOMENTS AGO: Brock destroyed everyone and everything.
Orton is backstage. Ryback shows up and he wants to be a part of Orton's team. Orton accepts.
THIS THURSDAY ON SMACKDOWN: Dolph Ziggler & Daniel Bryan face Sheamus and Bad News Barrett.
ALSO ON SMACKDOWN: Orton, Cena and Reigns will all be there.
Michael Cole apparently has a "cervical fracture"...so treasure these brief weeks when we won't hear him speak.
MATCH #7: Goldust vs. Rusev
No Lana. Kick, wham, Accolade anyhow, and we're done at 2:18.
WINNER: Rusev
RATING: DUD. So, Rusev fights -- but it isn't for the title? Ok.
NEXT: The big 6-Man Tag Match.
MATCH #8: Kane, Big Show, & WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton, Ryback & Roman Reigns in a 6-Man Tag Team Match
Kane and Ryback start out. Ryback eats a boot in the corner. Rollins gets involved and he gets sent outside. Break again, even though we're nearing the end of the show. Orton is beating on Kane, then tags Ryback as the crowd is insanely restless at this point, chanting ANYTHING that comes to mind. Rollins tags in and he's all over Orton with kicks in the corner. He sends Orton into the other corner but Orton comes back with a clothesline and punches at Rollins in the other corner. Crowd begins a "BREEZE IS GORGEOUS" chant and then a "HOW YA' DOIN'" chant. Tag to Show and the crowd chants "PLEASE RETIRE". Show laughs and just drops elbows on Orton. He slaps Orton's chest and tags Kane. Kane hits a snapmare as the crowd chants "SAN JOSE", then "WE WANT RYBACK". Orton beats on Kane but then runs into a boot. The Wave starts in the crowd and Rollins cannot believe his eyes. The cameraman follows the wave around, making the entire audience fucking seasick and, finally, the match continues. Rollins splashes Orton in the corner, then yells at the crowd. A "CM PUNK" chant begins as Rollins grabs Orton's neck in the corner. Orton fights out as the crowd chants, "WE ARE AWESOME". Reigns gets the hot tag and he hits a Samoan Drop on Kane. He takes out Show, then clotheslines Kane in the corner. Reigns goes for a neckbreaker, then changes his mind and hits Kane in the head. He goes for the Superman Punch. Show grabs him instead. Reigns escapes and hits a Superman Punch. Show runs over Reigns. Ryback hits a Shell Shock on Show. Curb Stomp to Ryback by Rollins. The ring clears and it's Reigns behind Rollins. Reigns goes for a Spear. Rollins dodges it and runs. Kane attacks Reigns, only to eat an RKO from Orton. Reigns gets the pin at 13:00 and we're done.
WINNERS: The faces.
RATING: **. The crowd killed most of this.
Post-match, it's a heel/face staredown as we go off the air.
OVERALL: **1/2 stars. Brock signs a new contract and he's probably not gonna be on much. Meanwhile, it was just a "pile of bodies" show with 20 people involved in three decent matches. Everyone seems so misused lately.
Unfortunately, no best-of-Monday Night Open Mic this week. Too much to recap. See you next week.
Er, that's it.
It's not quite real to me yet. The rest of the pics and recaps are coming.
In
any case, I was actually AT RAW tonight and...well, it was insane. The
crowd went from nuts to batshit crazy gradually -- but when the fans
lost their shit, I'm honestly surprised the show wasn't delayed. I
really thought it would be by the time Seth Rollins began yelling at the
crowd during The Wave.
Yes. Somebody actually decided to start a Wave.
That was just the beginning.
For those who got to hear the audio team fucking with the audio on the show, you might have missed these gems:
- "YOU SUCK CENA" (No...they didn't say this to Cena...they said it to Nikki Bella during the Divas match, causing Nikki to point her finger to the ceiling and say something to Nattie. They high-fived...so the crowd decided to pick on Nattie...)
- "YOU SUCK TYSON" (And Nattie grinned or...something...)
- "YOU SUCK PUNK" (To AJ. Barely lived because everyone who chanted it suddenly realized that they're supposed to like CM PUNK, hence the stupid, endless "CM PUNK" chants.)
- "WE DON'T LIVE HERE" (When Lillian Garcia advertised the tickets for the next San Jose RAW event.)
- "ASSHOLE" (When Miz attacked Miz-dow
- "WORSE THAN CENA" (To Roman Reigns)
- "PLEASE RETIRE" (To Big Show, who just shrugged it off and kept moving without missing a beat.)
- "LESNAR'S GONNA KIIIIIL YOOOOU..." (To Seth Rollins when he came out to face Lesnar)
- "WE'RE SO AWESOME" (The Smark crowd, patting themselves on the back)
Let's move...
We are LIVE(!!!) from my hometown in San Jose, California!!!
JBL, Cole and Booker are the guys on the mics.
Brock comes out to a huge pop (I mean, HUGE...the roof practically blew off) and has Paul Heyman with him. Heyman calls Lesnar "the biggest ass-kicker of the PG era". He says that Lesnar did nothing but suplex the shit out of Reigns. The Smark crowd starts their first chant: "SUPLEX CITY". Heyman corrects them: "Or...as my client said -- Suplex City...BITCH!". He recaps how Rollins cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and stole the title. He's pissed and says that the rules weren't clear and that he can go down to Sacramento, go to the 7th Circuit Court, have the decision reversed, and hold WWE up in litigation for months. But, he doesn't wanna do that because Lesnar thinks all lawyers are scumbags. So, that's not happening. Instead, all Lesnar wants to do is move on and invoke his rematch clause...and that's happening TONIGHT.
Steph comes out and recaps how great WrestleMania was tonight. The crowd chants "Ronda Rousey". Steph tells them if they want the re-match, they should all shut up. She insults Lesnar and says that Rollins kicked him around, too. She says that Rollins will be here soon -- and when he gets here, Lesnar and Heyman will find that he's up for the challenge.
Heyman says that he has a prediction: Lesnar will destroy Rollins and Lesnar will, once again. be the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
TONIGHT: John Cena issues an open challenge for anyone who wants the U.S. Championship, the Christmas fruitcake of the WWE Championship case.
ALSO: Daniel Bryan defends the IC Title against Dolph Ziggler.
MATCH #1: Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs. Daniel Bryan (champion) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
The crowd inside the Shark Tank was already blowing the fuck up. The first minute is, basically, the two of them trying to lock up and get a grip on one another while the crowd tries a LET'S GO BRYAN/ZIGGLER chant. Nothing happens for the next 30 seconds and the crowd is already yelling, "THIS IS AWESOME" when it clearly isn't "awesome" at all yet, so this is the type of crowd these guys dealt with. Bryan hits the Surfboard, prompting Cole to name-drop Half Moon Bay because that's a place where you can SURF, BRO. When we come back from break, Bryan nails Ziggler with a running dropkick. The two brawl in the corner and Bryan manages to hit a Super Side Suplex from the top rope. Two count. Yes Kicks but Bryan misses the Roundhouse. Ziggler rolls him up for two. The two fight for a backslide pin and Bryan ends up heading into the turnbuckle. Ziggler hits a Superkick, countering the Flying Knee. He NEARLY gets the fall. Both men get up and do the mutual headbutt spot from last night. Bryan eventually knocks Ziggler away and hits the Running Knee at 11:52 for the win.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Daniel Bryan
RATING: **. The match was better when it wasn't interrupted. There was more to it than this.
Post-match, Barrett gets in the ring to beat up Daniel Bryan -- but Sheamus comes out, sporting a mohawk and beard dreadlocks. He fights off Barrett and checks on Ziggler. The crowd doesn't care and they shit all over him and this spot. Sheamus dares Barrett to get in the ring -- then attacks Bryan because, surprise, he's a heel. He takes out Ziggler with the Brogue as the crowd chants, "YOU LOOK STUPID". Sheamus just feeds off it and tells them bring more. He grabs a mic and says, "I'm back." Then he leaves.
COMING UP: Brock Lesnar faces Seth Rollins.
ALSO: A look at how Arnold and Nash were more important than Randy Savage.
AND: Sting will show up and spin the fact that he lost at WM 31 is a good thing.
When we come back, we run through the Hall of Fame stuff and it's on to the next match...
MATCH #2: The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) (w/ Xavier Woods) & Lucha Dragons (Kalisto & Sin Cara) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) & The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) in an 8-Man Tag Team Match
Sin Cara and Cesaro start off and Sin Cara tries to flip all over Cesaro, only to end up in a Flipping Backbreaker. Tag to Kalisto and he flips all over Cesaro like a fucking stripper pole, tossing him across the ring with a Hurricarana. Crowd lost their shit over this and starts chanting "NEW DAY SUCKS". Kofi and Konnor get in and battle. Kofi knees him in the gut and it's back to Sin Cara with an "NXT" chant as if they're just going down some sort of "chant list" handed to them at the door. When we come back, Cesaro is in the ring while the crowd does the "Ole" soccer chant. He beats on Sin Cara and tags Konnor who eats an Enzuguri. Tag to Kofi and the crowd shits all over him as he goes A-House-A-Fire on Konnor. Tag to Tyson and he gets hit with a Cross Body. Two count. Cesaro nails Kofi with an uppercut. Viktor tags himself in and that pisses off Cesaro. Kofi tags Kalisto who flips around like Mary Lou Retton on Jolt, nails Konnor and gets a two count. Cesaro saves the pin and it's Spot-a-palooza by every single guy until Kalisto ends it with the Salina Del Sol for the win at 10:04.
WINNERS: The Faces.
RATING: ***. Actually, this was good because Lucha Dragons looked like the only team that wanted to be there.
Brock comes out for the championship rematch. Rollins is out next -- and he actually taunts Lesnar with the belt. Lillian announces them...but when the match is about to begin, Seth bails from the ring. He says he's feeling jetlagged, which makes sense since Levi's Stadium is about 5 miles from SAP by freeway. He's pulling the rematch. Lesnar doesn't accept. He grabs Rollins and tries a German but Rollins lands on his feet and runs again. Lesnar chases and tries an F5 but J&J save him. Rollins gets away. Lesnar flips the announcer desk on top of Cole, JBL and Booker. He destroys some ringside staff, then grabs Cole as Cole runs for his life. Heyman begs Brock to let him go but Brock's inconsolable and hits an F5 on Cole, much to the delight of the crowd. He grabs a camera guy next and goes for an F5.
This prompts Steph to run out and stop Brock. Brock doesn't listen and F5's the camera guy. Steph suspends Lesnar and walks off. Crowd chants "BULLSHIT" as this entire segment was worth the show. We see the damage Brock has left behind as EMT's hit ringside to help a dead Booker and JBL.
When we come back, Cole is being loaded on a stretcher while Booker is waking a bit. JBL is still out.
We get clips from MOMENTS AGO when Brock unleashed hell following Rollins' escape.
Backstage, Steph is walking. Renee interrupts her and wants her to explain why she just suspended Brock Lesnar. Steph says that Lesnar's still an employee and he will get his rematch. She says that he's just suspended -- and she'll fine him, too. She says Brock isn't going back to MMA, either. He's under contract and she owns "that summabitch".
TONIGHT: John Cena begs someone, ANYONE to take his new toy belt. Seriously, he'll lay down and let them have it.
When we come back, Byron Saxton is all that's left of Brockpocalypse. He'll be doing commentary solo from here on out.
MATCH #3: Stardust vs. Damien Mizdow
Mizdow is still "Miz"-dow despite turning on Miz? Mm-kay. Miz-dow takes his sunglasses off and clotheslines Stardust. Miz-dow basically runs through Miz's moveset until Stardust kicks at him and hits a Front Suplex. Crowd chants "CODY" and cheers Miz-dow -- though Miz-dow's fandom is noticeably diminished. Star goes for a backbreaker but gets hit on a counter by the SCF. Miz-dow wins at 2:23.
WINNER: Damien Miz-dow
RATING: DUD. And, now, we find out if the fans truly care about Miz-dow.
Post-match, Miz attacks Miz-dow and hits the SCF. He yells in Miz-dow's face.
FOLLOWING RAW: Sting is interviewed.
LAST NIGHT: The Rock and Ronda Rousey confronted Steph and Triple H at WrestleMania. Highlights from that next.
We get the clips we're promised, then a nice media package showing our local print and television media covering WrestleMania.
Curtis Axel is in the ring. Axelmania, this. Axelmaniaxs, that. Ax-streme Rules is also now a thing. Neville debuts in case you wanna get to the part you care about. The match doesn't even begin and Neville attacks him, tossing Axel from the ring and flying right on top of him.
MATCH #4: Curtis Axel vs. Neville
Once back in the ring, Neville hits some flying lariats and some quick kicks. Crowd loves it. The Red Arrow wins it at 1:11. "Wow," says Saxton with all the excitement of a Speak n' Spell.
WINNER: Neville
RATING: DUD, but Neville's badass.
NEXT: John Cena faces the guy who reluctantly wants to try for the goofy 'Murica belt.
We come back from break and Byron explains that Brock is the reason we're hearing him instead of JBL and Cole arguing about Frodo.
Out comes Cena as the crowd boos him back to the Stone Age, singing "JOHN CENA SUUUUUUCKS". We take a look at clips of Rusev and Cena at WrestleMania last night. Cena says the crowd will hear about WrestleMania Moments all night long. Cena says that the crowd in San Jose is the best audience of the year. They actually pop. He calls them all, "budding musicians". This prompts the crowd to sing his theme song. He tells them that, if they believe that, they're gonna have an issue with this next one: THE CHAMP IS HERE! He says he's "dressed like Johnny Cash" (he's wearing all black, so that's valid, folks...he's just like Johnny Cash) and he puts out his challenge.
And out comes...
Dean Ambrose!
MATCH #5: John Cena (champion) vs. Dean Ambrose (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
Ambrose and Cena trade a couple of spots and, instantly, Byron sends us on our commercial break because we didn't want to see this match anyway. When we come back, King's with us because Byron's about to break down in tears and, suddenly, this is CNN live from New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. If anyone can explain why the desk is still on its side, please let me know. And somebody get these guys chairs. My fucking feet hurt watching them stand up. Cena hits moves 1 through 3 and Ambrose kicks him. He tries the Rebound Clothesline but Cena ducks and hits #3 again. He hits #4 and goes for an AA which Ambrose breaks from and counters with a Sunset Flip for two. Ambrose hits a horribly delayed and telegraphed Rebound Clothesline but Cena, being the good guy he is, eats it anyhow. He tries Dirty Deeds but Cena stops it. The two trade BOO/YAY punches, then end up in the corner where Ambrose hits a Tornado DDT for a two count. Cena ends up outside and Ambrose nails him from the top buckle. They both roll into the ring and, suddenly, Super Cena is up and hitting an AA for two. The two end up fighting near the corner and Ambrose botches a Falling Sunset Flip. He pulls Cena down but Cena counters and hits the STF. Ambrose breaks it, so Cena goes for an AA. Ambrose breaks that and hits a pseudo-STF. Cena tries for the ropes so Ambrose breaks the hold and pulls Cena back to the center of the ring. Cena kicks at Ambrose and tries another AA. Ambrose counters with Dirty Deeds and NEARLY gets the pin. Cena and Ambrose trade shots again. About 7 AA counters later and Cena finally hits an AA, retaining at 14:20, after countering a crossbody by Ambrose.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: John Cena via AA
RATING: ***. Not bad...but can we stop pretending Cena's suddenly a little indie mid-carder?
Post-match, Ambrose isn't happy. He gets up, though, as Cena goes for the RESPECTFUL POST-MATCH TRIPLE H HANDSHAKE. Ambrose accepts, kinda, and we move on.
LAST NIGHT: It was Suplex City, bitch, hefore Seth Rollins cashed in and won the match.
Renee Young speaks with Seth Rollins backstage. He thinks that Brock Lesnar is out of control. He got what he deserved. Orton shows up and reminds Rollins that he beat Rollins at WrestleMania last night. He wants Rollins' title...but Kane and Big Show show up to stop this noise real quick. Rollins says he'll face Orton -- in a tag match. He wants Orton to find two guys to face the three of them at the end of the night. Orton doesn't look happy.
AJ Lee heads to the ring as we go to break.
MATCH #6: AJ Lee, Paige, & Naomi vs. Natalya & The Bella Twins (Brie & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella) in a 6-Diva Tag Team Match
Nattie and Naomi begin the thing. Nattie escapes head scissors which looks like it would hurt if Naomi held on tighter to Nattie's neck. Naomi hits a sitting dropkick after rubbing her ass in Nattie's nose (DON'T DO THAT TO NATTIE! IT'S ALL SEXUAL AND FLIRTY AND STUFF!!!) Tag to Brie as the crowd chants for Paige. Brie puts Naomi in an armbar, then arm drags her to the mat. Naomi escapes and tags Paige. Paige hits headbutts and dumps Brie to the mat. Two count. Brie calls Paige a "loser", so Paige dives at her and both girls are outside the ring. It's a standoff between the remaining Divas as we go to commercial. It's Nattie and AJ when we come back. AJ breaks a submission move but Nattie kicks her and suplexes AJ for two. Nikki comes into the match and puts a chinlock on AJ who the crowd actually gets behind instead of mocking. AJ breaks the hold and runs to her corner but Nikki blocks her and dumps her to the mat. Two count. Naomi and Paige scream for a tag, so Nikki nails Naomi with a forearm and goes back to work on AJ with a Crosslock. AJ breaks and Nikki runs at Naomi and Paige, swinging with forearms. She gets to Paige but misses Naomi. Hot tag to Naomi and she hits Nikki with a high kick and crossbody. Nikki manages to counter a head scissors off the buckle and dumps Naomi to the mat. Paige saves the pin and it's a melee as Nattie hits SUPLEX CITY BITCH on Paige. The ring clears with Naomi in between Nikki and Brie. Nikki goes for her forearm -- but hits Brie instead. Naomi hits the Rear View to get the win at 13:07.
WINNERS: The faces
RATING: **1/2. Not a bad Divas tag. They're finally starting to take that roster seriously.
MOMENTS AGO: Brock destroyed everyone and everything.
Orton is backstage. Ryback shows up and he wants to be a part of Orton's team. Orton accepts.
THIS THURSDAY ON SMACKDOWN: Dolph Ziggler & Daniel Bryan face Sheamus and Bad News Barrett.
ALSO ON SMACKDOWN: Orton, Cena and Reigns will all be there.
Michael Cole apparently has a "cervical fracture"...so treasure these brief weeks when we won't hear him speak.
MATCH #7: Goldust vs. Rusev
No Lana. Kick, wham, Accolade anyhow, and we're done at 2:18.
WINNER: Rusev
RATING: DUD. So, Rusev fights -- but it isn't for the title? Ok.
NEXT: The big 6-Man Tag Match.
MATCH #8: Kane, Big Show, & WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton, Ryback & Roman Reigns in a 6-Man Tag Team Match
Kane and Ryback start out. Ryback eats a boot in the corner. Rollins gets involved and he gets sent outside. Break again, even though we're nearing the end of the show. Orton is beating on Kane, then tags Ryback as the crowd is insanely restless at this point, chanting ANYTHING that comes to mind. Rollins tags in and he's all over Orton with kicks in the corner. He sends Orton into the other corner but Orton comes back with a clothesline and punches at Rollins in the other corner. Crowd begins a "BREEZE IS GORGEOUS" chant and then a "HOW YA' DOIN'" chant. Tag to Show and the crowd chants "PLEASE RETIRE". Show laughs and just drops elbows on Orton. He slaps Orton's chest and tags Kane. Kane hits a snapmare as the crowd chants "SAN JOSE", then "WE WANT RYBACK". Orton beats on Kane but then runs into a boot. The Wave starts in the crowd and Rollins cannot believe his eyes. The cameraman follows the wave around, making the entire audience fucking seasick and, finally, the match continues. Rollins splashes Orton in the corner, then yells at the crowd. A "CM PUNK" chant begins as Rollins grabs Orton's neck in the corner. Orton fights out as the crowd chants, "WE ARE AWESOME". Reigns gets the hot tag and he hits a Samoan Drop on Kane. He takes out Show, then clotheslines Kane in the corner. Reigns goes for a neckbreaker, then changes his mind and hits Kane in the head. He goes for the Superman Punch. Show grabs him instead. Reigns escapes and hits a Superman Punch. Show runs over Reigns. Ryback hits a Shell Shock on Show. Curb Stomp to Ryback by Rollins. The ring clears and it's Reigns behind Rollins. Reigns goes for a Spear. Rollins dodges it and runs. Kane attacks Reigns, only to eat an RKO from Orton. Reigns gets the pin at 13:00 and we're done.
WINNERS: The faces.
RATING: **. The crowd killed most of this.
Post-match, it's a heel/face staredown as we go off the air.
OVERALL: **1/2 stars. Brock signs a new contract and he's probably not gonna be on much. Meanwhile, it was just a "pile of bodies" show with 20 people involved in three decent matches. Everyone seems so misused lately.
Unfortunately, no best-of-Monday Night Open Mic this week. Too much to recap. See you next week.
Er, that's it.
Yeah, couldn't understand a word the crowd was saying outside of singing along to Cena's theme.
ReplyDeleteGlad y'all had fun.. but imo that crowd was pretty obnoxious for the most part.
ReplyDelete1. Rollins was jetlagged because he was in NYC on the Today Show earlier.
ReplyDelete2. New Day > Daniel Bryan!?
3. There is no 3.
1) I saw that segment...dude actually flew to NYC from Santa Clara and back to RAW? That has "pre-taped" written all over it...
ReplyDelete2) There were three other tag teams in that match. Also this is...what, the 72nd go-round between Bryan and Ziggler? The match really wasn't that great.
Totally agree. It got to the point where the mother and kid next to me were getting annoyed. There was some asshole smark lemming behind me who would assess what everyone was saying and repeat it like a fucking drone.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't at the post Wrestlemania party, so if Rollins didn't fly out there, then he did a great job of working the boys.
ReplyDeleteI heard a ton of them were partying in San Jose's bars throughout the weekend. Regret going drinking this weekend. Although, a friend of mine saw Randy Orton near Santana Row and he wouldn't give him the time of day.
ReplyDeleteWhy couldn't your friend have told Randy Orton the time? He didn't have a watch either?
ReplyDeleteHe asked Orton for a pic. I guess Orton just stared at him, then ignored him.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I might get killed for this, but I'm gonna anyway. I deleted it once, but I want to know what people think.
ReplyDeleteGivedivasachance apparently, to the biggest crowd of smarks the WWE will see all year, means 'when they're allowed to work an actual match, let's shower them with blowjob jokes as opposed to actually paying attention and giving them a chance.'
I had a female friend at Raw last night, and while I wouldn't say she was offended (she's what we in the business call 'a tough bitch'), she definitely was disappointed in that crowd.
Was it the best women's match this year? Hell, it wasn't the best women's match this month, but that hardly seems like the point. They gave the Divas 13 minutes and two segments to work with, and they did a pretty decent job with that time, to be honest.
The crowd treated them like a joke when they finally got a chance. Give divas a chance, indeed.
I don't have a problem with fans hijacking the show when the show sucks, but this was actually a somewhat decent match.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest issue with the whole thing is that this wasn't some podunk crowd in Nebraska (I feel okay saying this, as I live in Nebraska); this was a crowd of people who were, on average, smarter than the average bear. Surely, they would be more respectful to something that I would assume many of them purported to support, at least online.
ReplyDeleteNope.
The crowd chanting random things to amuse themselves is one thing. The crowd chanting THAT at women is pathetic. Objectification and dehumanizing at its worst.
ReplyDeleteThey're entertainers. If they can't handle it they shouldn't have gotten into the business in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't make it right and you know it. It doesn't matter what people can handle. It's about being a decent human being.
ReplyDeleteIf the wrestlers can portray slimy characters, then I don't see why the crowd can't as well.
ReplyDeleteI don't judge individual people by what they do in a crowd on RAW.
What, no 'you did gay porn!' chant at Rollins? I'm disappointed.
ReplyDeleteYou suck dick chants all night huh? Classy. What a bunch of losers.
ReplyDeleteECW had 'she's a crack whore'.
ReplyDeleteScott himself said on several occasions he tried to get a 'x takes it up the ass' chant going.
If Paul Leveque and Colby Lopez and the like can go out there and portray exaggerated characters, then I don't see why the fans can't do the same as well.
ReplyDeleteREAL NAMES
ReplyDeleteNo-one's a decent human being in the entertainment business whether it's from the fans/viewers or people in the business. For instance if a movie sucks, other people (viewers/critics) are going to let you know about it. They're not going to be nice just because the director tried his best to make a good movie. The entertainment business is a harsh one, and the successful people learn to grow a thick skin early on.
ReplyDeleteGood on ECW. that's a line crossed anyway. Yelling at women that they suck dick? What's so "smart" about that? I'll be That Guy, and say it crossed the into total loser-virgin mysogny, straight-up. Shame on them.
ReplyDeleteI highly doubt any of the wrestlers were actually shocked\offended\aghast at the shenanigans. They know full well what the post-WM crowd is going to do, and if they're smart they play it up and enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteUm...yeah. you kind of need that to talk about the difference between the characters and the people that portray them.
ReplyDeleteI'm not praising it, just saying it's hardly anything new.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I'd be mortified to have brought a female to that show. #notallwrestlingfans, sure, but yuck.
ReplyDeleteIs there something wrong witb fellatio?
ReplyDeleteNext year they should do a blizzard style Raw from HQ. Reads like the crowd were a load of misogynist idiots.
ReplyDeleteNow the fans are just portraying a character?
ReplyDeleteYou'd have to ask the crowd, I guess, they were the ones chanting it. And ask why the chants were only directed at the women.
ReplyDeleteProbably grew up in the Attitude Era. You reap what you sow.
ReplyDeleteBecause Darren Young wasn't on the show?
ReplyDeleteI think some females would have found it funny.
ReplyDeleteBecause Cena, Tyson, and Punk don't have dicks to suck? Not everyone is as flexible as Lanny Poffo.
ReplyDeleteIt's crossed the line from amusing to obnoxious. Nothing here sounds remotely clever.
ReplyDeleteI was more annoyed than offended because this will just give Vince the ammo he needs - "See, they don't give a shit about women's matches. They wanna see tits! Divas Search 2015!"
ReplyDeleteSeems like it'd be worth travelling the day after Mania to get away from the Mania crowd for Raw.
ReplyDeleteNow? They have been doing so since before the rise of ECW.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea who Colby Lopez was and had to look that up. I feel like I should hand in a smark card...
ReplyDeleteDon't you know that all females are delicate flowers? They must be protected from such stuff, or they will come down with the vapors.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Cane Dewey was really clever.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about searching this Raw out to see the whole thing, as opposed to the 90 minute version on Hulu, but it just doesn't sound worth it to me. I'll assume I get Brock killing everyone, Sheamus returning, John Cena defending America and the main event. Sounds like it was a stacked show.
ReplyDeletePretty sure when the WWE encouraged and commercialized the concept of After-WM Raw crowds coming up with creative chants, what they had in mind wasn't a shitty third-rate impression of the mutants and mongoloids that filled a warehouse under a highway overpass in Philly in 1998.
ReplyDeleteFuck every single person who started or joined one of those abhorrent and gross chants last night. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
You know, this is a typical PC double standard. There's no doubt in my mind that at least some of them do, in fact, suck dick. Why is it offensive? If you chanted 'you eat (lady bits)' at me, I'd just be like.... ok. Yeah, so?
ReplyDeleteShame on you, Mr. Clemens. Shame.
ReplyDeleteFuck you for writing fuck on a forum that children frequent.
ReplyDeleteBecause it was *meant* to be offensive. I'm not the one with the double standard. Why didn't they chant "You eat Nikki" or something at Cena or whomever? Because the "You suck dick" chants come from the mysognistic position of "these divas are all whores". That's the double standard. Guys are guys, and women are cocksucking whores.
ReplyDeleteIf WWE doesn't want these NAW RAW chants, then they should pack up and have RAW on the other side of the country.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to remember an instance where fans chanted 'you suck dick' at a male wrestler. I'm sure it's happened, but can't remember when, most likely Shawn got that chant in the early 90s and I didn't see anyone rushing to Shawn's defense.
ReplyDeleteDoes it occur to you that you had to come up with a made up hypothetical starring yourself because no one ever chants that at heterosexual male wrestlers?
ReplyDeleteJust playing advocatus diaboli.
ReplyDeleteSo your argument is that all smarks and superfans are woman-hating scum and that's OK?
ReplyDeleteThat was 20 years ago in ECW. I was referring to the post-Mania Raw crowds of the past few years.
ReplyDeleteMy apologies for not calling out homophobia in 1996 WWF.
ReplyDeleteAh, there's another buzzword that's wildly overused. Fear and dislike of something are NOT the same thing.
ReplyDeleteNot worth any further responses.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even that offended so much as I am disappointed. There is a difference. They saw fit to give the Divas 13 minutes to wrestle in front of one of the tougher crowds of the year, but also what one would expect to be one of the more receptive non-NXT crowds of the year, and the crowd decided to not give two shits. Yet, I wonder how many of them were re-tweeting #givedivasachance last week? Would they have started any of those chants for Charlotte? Sasha? Bayley?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tom that some would find it funny. That's why I'm not really all that offended - but to ask online to give these women a chance to show what they can do, and then to crap all over the match when they get that chance kind of sucks, you know? Especially considering that the match was pretty dandy in most spots.
Since when did people start thinking that wrestling fans had a moral compass? Did I miss a smark meeting?
ReplyDeleteDefinition of HOMOPHOBIA
ReplyDelete: irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals
— ho·mo·pho·bic
\-ˈfō-bik\ adjective
Since when we were supposed to hold our own opinions on things back?
ReplyDeleteWe do. It points down...
ReplyDeleteDown Where?
Down THERE.
Nope. Try again.
ReplyDeleteisn't that the same kind of "climate" that exists on this blog as well? I feel there is no womens match without discussions about if the posters would "do her".
ReplyDelete(I'm afraid this is a similar way as women are treated in many "niches" by "hardcores" - just take a look at comics or gaming)
Yeah this sounds pretty horrible. When I read this I was actually starting to hate smark crowds which goes against everything I believe in.
ReplyDeleteMine points up at times.
ReplyDeleteI'm saying that wrestling fans haven't changed since then.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago, the crowd that made the WWE take notice of post-WM crowds chanted for Sexual Chocolate, JBL, Randy Savage and RVD while Fandangoing.
ReplyDeleteNever once did they chant AJ SUCKS DICK not anything like it and if such behavior was normal, nobody would have noticed or cared last night.
So, yeah, apparently, many/most do.
Pretty sure they said that to Dick Slater once.
ReplyDeletetotally stupid "argument".
ReplyDelete"I was at this wrestling show and the crowd started chanting racist jokes at some black wrestler. I'd be mortified if I went with a black friend to that show."
"I think some black would have found it funny.
"Don't you know that all persons of color are delicate flowers? They must be
protected from such stuff, or they will come down with the vapors."
Explain yourself, then.
ReplyDeleteI think that was you suck, Dick. Punctuation matters.
ReplyDeleteLike you said, the women were given a death spot to perform in front of one of the toughest crowds of the year. Wrestling fans are equal opportunity haters. They hate divas the same way they hate Big Show. I'm not saying divas don't deserve a chance, but it's going to take a long time to reeducate the fans so fans can take it seriously. The divas aren't suddenly going to be given respect just because WWE decides to give them more time. If WWE is serious about this then it's going to at least take a couple of years to change the average fan's perception of divas.
ReplyDeleteThese are things that ya don't havr to worry about, because Wrestling Isn't Real.
ReplyDeleteBetter to have people vent their real feelings at a wrestling show so that they can remain civilized in the real world.
Great 1st half, underwhelming 2nd.
ReplyDeleteHad trouble making out a lot of the chants, plus I skip forward a lot, so wasn't aware of the chants at the women. Unfortunately not surprised a few people here don't seem to understand why chanting "you suck (whatever)" at a female wrestler is a terrible thing to do.
But as was pointed out, these weren't the 'average' fan. I would think that one of the reasons that the divas got 13 minutes out there is because the crowd would be expected to be more receptive precisely because they are the type of smarks that were out there on the #givedivasachance stuff. A crowd in my hometown reacting that way would, sadly, not surprise me. A crowd composed of a bunch of super-smarks? Yeah, I was kind of surprised.
ReplyDeletethat has NOTHING to do with "not going to be just nice".
ReplyDeletefor example: if Steven Spielberg makes a horrible movie it's perfectly okay to call him a "hack", "an overrated piece of s**t" etc., making remarks about his jewish heritage however is NOT.
I'm pretty sure if that match had been hijacked by "Randy Savage" or even "this match sucks" chants this wouldn't be an issue.
I do agree wrestling fans can go too far with their chants and there is a line to be drawn, especially with ECW fans, but "you suck [X]" isn't that bad.
ReplyDeleteIf WWE doesn't want these NAW RAW chants, then they should pack up and have RAW on the other side of the country
ReplyDelete.....I don't know....I still am not following ...what are you trying to get at?
ReplyDeleteI thought it was the fear of words that sound the same?
ReplyDeleteHe's saying, and I think this is correct, is that history has shown that one of the reasons the the night after mania raws are traditionally difficult/unruly crowds of smarks is that you have a large confluence of dedicated wrestling fans all in one place for the only time all year, so as such, if they want to avoid that type of crowd, they should just go as far away from said crowd as possible.
ReplyDeleteEven the hardest of the hardcore smarks have been conditioned to think that divas is the pissbreak match and something not to take seriously, especially when it's a 6 women tag filler match.
ReplyDeleteIf fans made those chants during the climax of a well built feud between two divas (Lita v Trish / Trish v Mickie) then yes I would be disappointed, but in a pointless filler match, who gives a crap.
Clever.
ReplyDeleteNow explain how you reconcile this idea with the fact that two years ago, the chants that made the company notice that post-WM are rowdy and raucous never chanted anything as gross and repugnant as last night?
They want the chants. They don't want chants like YOU SUCK DICK and considering that such chants are not part and parcel of post-WM crowds, that is not unreasonable.
Fine, "You Munch Bella!" at Cena or Bryan would be as offensive as what the Divas got, correct?
ReplyDeleteSexual Chocolate isn't a gross and racist thing to say?
ReplyDeleteLol I got jumped for saying that yesterday.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, fans were chanting that the females were sucking their husband's cocks. They weren't chanting that they sucked any old random cock. The latter would be more disrespectful.
ReplyDeleteNice to see the crowd wasted no time patting themselves on the back and letting us know which divas are romantically entangled with which wrestlers.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool, Vince Russo coined the term and he understands black people, bro.
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty clearly a callback to his previous gimmick. Was the gimmick racist? Eh. I never saw it that way, though there's an argument to be made.
ReplyDeleteEither way, the crowd wasn't chanting it as a racial slur and you know that. Don't be obtuse.
I didnt think Worst in the World went.
ReplyDeleteDude, seriously, take like 20 minutes and really think about this. That has NEVER happened, and never will. Ask yourself why that is. Once you start down this road you'll come to understand what is so wrong about those chants.
ReplyDeleteThey only chant it at women and gay men. Do you really think there's not a very specific (and sinister) reason behind that?
He might be an "asshole smark", but he damn sure isn't a lemming.
ReplyDeleteI gave you a specific example involving specific wrestlers that is quite realistic. IF IT HAPPENED, would it be as offensive as "You suck Cena!" at Nikki?
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just gotta answer the question.
I'm glad you're capable of being the judge of what I do and don't know. You would be an excellent candidate for WWE Crowd Nazi.
ReplyDeleteThe reason it's offensive is the crowd's basically saying that the woman's only noteworthy trait is who she's having sex with.
ReplyDeleteHell, just move it a few hundred miles away. For example, move last night's RAW to Portland, Salt Lake City, or Phoenix.
ReplyDeleteIt's a misleading question, dude. The point is that the chant *wasn't* made, not what would happen if it was. The crowd wouldn't reduce a straight male performer to nothing more than a sex act they perform.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I gave you credit for being at least somewhat intelligent. Totally my bad; won't happen again.
ReplyDeleteThat's why Trish was so over and beloved. She didn't sleep with the wrestlers so fans weren't given any ammo.
ReplyDeleteHow is something realistic when it has literally never happened and nobody would bet on it happening in the future.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, your example wouldn't be as offensive in the same way 'cracker' is not as offensive as the n-word to any rational person.
Like I said earlier, I'm not gonna judge people that pay a lot of money to blow of steam at a wrestling show.
ReplyDeleteYou can't expect thousands of years of prejudices to completely go away in a half a generation. These type of releases are good for keeping people civil during actual interaction with actual people.
Here is the problem with the Brock contract. He was already way over and then last night....maybe the most over guy in the company and now we won't see him till what? summerslam? I'm not against him being gone a little while but It's a shame that they a guy that is on fire right now getting mainstream attention...and now he is gone..for months.
ReplyDeleteAlright, starting last night's Raw on Hulu Plus. I'm betting I don't have to deal with a lot of the chants that were found to be offending. For this, I am pre-emptively grateful.
ReplyDeleteDamn, BROCK LESNAR looks beat the fuck up. Don't think I've ever seen that before in a WWE ring.
Couldn't tell what the crowd was chanting for most of the main event.
ReplyDeleteWe are awesome chant? Yuck. That crowd sucked for the most part. The Mania crowd was awesome. The Raw crowd sucked their own dicks it's just a shame they didn't have a chant prepared to inform us who they sucked.
"And no, your example wouldn't be as offensive in the same way 'cracker' is not as offensive as the n-word to any rational person."
ReplyDeleteI can accept that answer. Thank you.
The important thing is that you recognize that you are wrong, and that I win this argument.
ReplyDeleteI approve of the first chant, of Suplex City.
ReplyDeleteIt's like they watched older Post Mania RAWS and decided they wanted to be just like that. We are Awesome is groan worthy.
ReplyDeleteBut the fans chanted you suck Tyson at Nattie, which is fine because they're married. If fans chanted you suck Cesaro at Nattie then Nattie would have every reason to get miffed.
ReplyDeleteSuplex City and one other chant were the bright spots crowd wise.
ReplyDeleteConsidering that plenty of people (and plenty of wrestling fans) can blow off steam without indulging in gross, inexcusable chanting at women based purely on their gender, I can and totally will judge those who do.
ReplyDeleteYou believe that chanting "YOU SUCK DICK" at women who are strangers to you is good for keeping people civil during interactions with others.
You believe this.
You're gross, awful and impossibly stupid.
We're done.
I only said that because of the debate he and Marv had about asshole smark crowds in yesterday's daily thread. It's a good read. I highly suggest you search it out.
ReplyDeleteBrock should just F5 the announce team every week.
ReplyDelete20 million paid subs guaranteed.
I think the problem was that the WM29 NYC crowd chants sort of happened organically. And people have been trying to copy it since.
ReplyDeleteBut they didn't chant you suck dick, they chanted that she performed sexual acts on her husband, which is a perfectly healthy act between two adults in wedlock.
ReplyDeleteDo you know what aversion means?
ReplyDeleteHere's a helpful hint for you:
aversion
noun: aversion; plural noun: aversions
a strong dislike or disinclination.
Whatever. I'm sure you're a hit with whichever gender you prefer.
ReplyDeleteTGGI.
ReplyDeleteHe's a moron. Quotes a dictionary definition of homophobia that actually undermines his own argument. Classic internet.
ReplyDeleteWalked right into that rake, didn't he?
ReplyDeleteAmazed at how quickly Stephanie was able to shut down the Ronda Rousey chants.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is a genuine semantics thing or if you think it's clever, but you know why they were chanting what they were chanting. Stop.
ReplyDeleteI mentally added a Sideshow Bob "hhrrrhhrhrhhh" noise after your comment :)
ReplyDeleteI would agree the dick sucking chants were pretty tasteless and dumb. However for the most part I am on the side of the fans paid to be there they can do what they want. So no I don't think the women should have been singled out but be it CM Punk chants or please retire....I'm fine with it. Some where along the way what the live audience should and should not be has whittled down to a very narrow expectation. They get bitched at if they are too dead..they get bitched at if they are too loud...They get bitched at if they are to mark..they get bitched at if they are too smark.
ReplyDeleteI thought Ziggler/Bryan, 6-Man and Cena/Ambrose all reached the *** level. The finisher kickouts is getting a little insane though. I get it for Mania but slow it down a bit.
ReplyDeleteI also totally called Ambrose challenging Cena btw which was cool. Didn't really have an issue with Cena winning the hard fought bout.
That was something I don't think she was capable of before being a mom. That was totally a mom move with a bratty child
ReplyDeleteYou should take to the streets with this!
ReplyDeleteThat definitely is a part of the problem, yeah. Encouraging people to be creative is always dicey, because not many people are.
ReplyDeleteStill, I think anyone halfway reasonable with any sense of decency and propriety would prefer to chant and hear "RAN DY SAV AGE" again over something that should have been left in the bingo hall a decade and a half ago.
I'm not saying it's right but there is a difference between chanting "you suck Tyson" at Nattie and chantig "you suck Bret" at Sunny back in 1997. They're both wrong, but one is more wrong than the other.
ReplyDeleteNot really, no.
ReplyDeleteJust managed to watch the last two hours of Raw on my lunchbreak (with some judicious skipping of ads and WM recaps, etc).
ReplyDeleteOne thing leaps out:
Why are they calling him just "Neville"?!?
I don't know if this is just a thing where the US and UK are very different, but in the UK, Neville is seen as a really dorky name, at best. It's awful. Bring back the Adrian!!
I can excuse all of that but chanting "We are Awesome" should lead to all of them being drawn and quartered.
ReplyDeleteVince probably said...Adrian.....that's a girls name..drop it
ReplyDeleteAgain, remember that Rusev - the unstoppable monster - was taken out by *one* AA, while suffering-from-ladder-collisions Ambrose took more than one.
ReplyDeleteI have no objection to finishers being *finishers*, but it just feels ridiculous they killed off Rusev with a single AA...
meh
ReplyDeleteGARY NEVILLE IS A RED
ReplyDeleteIS A RED IS A RED
HE HATES SCOUSERS
So what did you think of the Brock segment? D-Bry Ziggler was awesome.
ReplyDeleteAlso, why did you pay to go to a show you seem to hate?
Hard to argue against that.
ReplyDelete"Mongoloid" is pretty abhorrent, too. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteThe Brock segments were awesome. The 5 minute tease of Lesnar/Rollins was incredible.
ReplyDelete::drops the mic:
ReplyDeleteWas thinking "teacher with class" but yeah, totally along the same lines. They actually shut up, it was amazing!
ReplyDeleteHow so? Nattie wasn't offended, she probably thought to herself 'yeah....so'.
ReplyDeleteThey just needed time to think of the next chant.
ReplyDeleteThe recapper seems so intent on shitting on RAW that when the show has one a segment so incredible like that, he doesn't even bother giving an opinion
ReplyDeleteOf course, Gary and Phil's dad was called "Neville Neville" - which only goes to prove his parents truly hated him.
ReplyDeleteshhhh that's a name idea Vince would definitely take up
ReplyDeleteIt's so annoying - the post-Mania crowd can bring a lot, but invariably it descends into them just collectively being insufferable arseholes.
ReplyDeleteThe "You look stupid" for Sheamus was well-deserved, though.
He'll probably get Jim Johnson to do a "Neville Neville" cover of Louie Louie for an intro.
ReplyDeleteOh, I wasn't aware you'd spoken to Nattie. Did you ask anyone else?
ReplyDeleteWhen the term fits...
ReplyDeleteNo man who has ever lost a name in WWE has ever gotten it back.
ReplyDeletethose braids have to come out and every match he has that they don't get pulled on is a failure
ReplyDeleteNo, it's abhorrent. Don't act like the moral crusader for women's rights if you're going to use a term based in contempt, discrimination and abuse of the mentally ill.
ReplyDeleteStick to business talk.
ReplyDeleteThe crowd last year is the high water mark. I'm sure they had some smarky chants at some points but mostly they were just incredibly hot and into the show. Last year's crowd should be in a Hall of Fame.
ReplyDeleteColby Lopez. His parents must have been all "Fuck this guy." when he was born.
ReplyDelete"Let's make sure his name alienates him from any peer groups."
So for all the greatness this show was....we stilled ended up with Kane and Big Show in the main event..to quote HoFer Macho Man...and the beat goes on.
ReplyDeleteIf Nattie was truly affected by it I'm sure she'd quit. I'm sure all the slut chants Lita got forced her into early retirement.
ReplyDeleteHow was Neville's match a DUD? It was a fine way to introduce him to Raw. A DUD Is something with no reedeming qualities, like this review, for example.
ReplyDeleteYou are the only one allowed to speak for others.
ReplyDeleteGlad WWE didn't hot shot the IC Title last night, and holy shit that mohawk looks awful!
ReplyDeleteMohawk? The Beard Braids dude. I can work with the Mohawk. But that facial hair is dreadful.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping "Adrian Neville" continues to trend constantly in the hope of making them realise how stupid they've been.
ReplyDeleteYea that is crazy talk. It was the perfect intro for him. HE hit all his spots and looked amazing.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't seen those yet... The overall look kind of works, I think the total is greater than the sum of its parts here, but not by much.
ReplyDeleteSome recappers auto-rank anything under a certain time, or squash matches, as duds.
ReplyDeleteI can see the thinking behind it, but it doesn't really take context into account.
Neville and the Lucha Dragons(Kalisto in particular) made great accountings of themselves last night.
ReplyDeleteI was really sad when Ambrose slipped on the sunset flip from the top rope. :(
ReplyDeleteYeah. Dammit. Everytime I see that spot coming I always feel like it's gonna get botvhed. He botched it pretty bad too. Blemish on an otherwise fun match.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Nattie's totally gonna quit because of one crowd. This is how normal, rational people react to bad days at work. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that if fans continue chanting that that it would get tiresome and a little bullysome, but as a one time thing it seemed okay and I'm sure the divas got a laugh out of it.
ReplyDeleteNo, I'll continue. Thanks for the advice, though.
ReplyDeleteHaven't been keeping up with the news... any word on if Brock's new deal has more dates than his old one? Basically I'm wondering if Brock just got written out of the show until it's time to build to Summerslam.
ReplyDeleteI was more upset that they didn't improvise - Cena just sat there and waited for Ambrose to get up and hit the move. You can easily play off a botch into looking like Ambrose made a mistake and Cena capitalized.
ReplyDelete"OI'm back"
ReplyDeleteCole: "No explanation?"
Um, he just went after the guys who were fighting for the IC Title. I think, maybe, that might be the explanation, Cole.
And we're skipping the 8-man.
I think his reaction made it look worse, too. Instead of going with the flow and just doing something else (jump and punch his back or something) he just looked a bit panicked and then ran back to the position he was meant to be in.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise it was a great match, though. I honestly thought, for just half a second, they might actually pull the trigger and let him go over, which would have torn the roof off the place.
Shoulda hit his Springboard Stunner again.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I can make BROCK's entrance music the ringtone on my phone...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I just said the same thing in response to Burt below. Completely agree.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking Rusev interference the whole way. Honestly didn't mind Cena winning a hard fought match though.
ReplyDeleteThen you're an absolute hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteNot that this is surprising, it's the internet after all.
So if your girlfriend/wife/sister/mom/etc. had a group of people chant "YOU SUCK DICK" (or "YOU SUCK (male partner)'S DICK," since you seem to think it makes a difference) at them at their job?
ReplyDeleteThey'd just get a kick out of it? They wouldn't find it annoying, offensive, unnecessary, etc.?
Come on.
Yeah, me too. Was quite surprised Rusev and Cena had no interaction whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteYou're still a hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteMoment of the entire weekend: Brock tries a German on Seth and Seth backflips out of it and lands on his feet and hits an enzugiri on Brock. To which Brock no sells and gives Seth a look of death and Seth scurries away.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know if theyll have a match ever but I've already given it *****
Your words cut me to the core, Random Internet Person "Mister Thirteen."
ReplyDeleteI would've had Cena win (love to see him have a long reign) and blown the roof off with Ambrose kicking him in the nuts Jericho-style after the handshake.
ReplyDeleteThey skipped that? Shame because it was really fun and Kalisto did some crazy stuff. Looked great in his debut.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that was brilliant. Perfectly set-up and implemented.
ReplyDeleteSeth and Brock had great chemistry in the triple-threat earlier in the year, too, imo.
Honestly can't wait for a big, brutal 1v1.
That doesn't bother me as much with Dean.
ReplyDeleteI've said before that I feel his character gives him a great deal if leeway.
I'm not even convinced he thinks he's wrestler. He may think he works in the real estate department.
If they had a normal office job then yes I'd tell them to report it, but if they were in the entertainment business and that was the worst thing that ever happened to them then I think they got off lightly.
ReplyDeleteObviously as a match it wasn't amazing. It only went 1 minute. But as a segment introducing a new talent? Entertaining and effective.
ReplyDeleteOn my old phone, I had the noise at the start (I've no idea what you'd call that - a dischord?) as my text message sound. Wish I still had it! :(
ReplyDeleteGood to know we should take your words with the same serious, Random Internet Person "Stan Ford".
ReplyDeleteYep. I was glad they announced him as "The man gravity forgot" as well - instant way to make his style clear to the non-NXT viewers too.
ReplyDeleteThat name, though. #bringbackadrian
Every time they've been in the same ring it's been incredible.
ReplyDeleteThe version available on iTunes as a ringtone doesn't include the dischord at the beginning. No buys. I might buy the song though, more pump up music can't hurt.
ReplyDelete