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Worst name ever?

By
Hey Scott,

Was thinking about this the other day, after reading a review of some old WCW card that had Kwee Wee wrestling on it:  What do you think are some of the worst wrester names ever?  I'm not talking about shitty gimmicks that found their way into the name (Red Rooster, Firebreaker Chip), but stand-alone names that were horrible.

I've got Kwee Wee (obviously) near the top, along with Zan Panzer, Dolph Ziggler (although he's overcome it), and maybe Don Kernodle.  What say you?  

What's wrong with Don Kernodle?  You might as well bust on Nick Bockwinkel while you're at it.  

Developmental of course has held the record for bad names lately, although to be fair they're more horribly generic than BAD, per se.  Kwee Wee was absolutely awful, one of the worst.  I think the worst by a country mile was WEE WILLIE WILKINS, but that was more of a specific rib by Dusty Rhodes rather than any kind of attempt at seriously naming someone.  And I know others are not on my side on this one, but I always hated "X-Pac" as a name.  Never worked for me and didn't really represent anything about the character.  

Bruce Hart had some epic bad names when he was booking Stampede, like "Principal" Dick Pound and a million other stupid puns.  Speaking of which, I also thought TL Hopper was terrible, unless you're counting that as part of the gimmick.  

Comments

  1. Edward MMay 30, 2015 at 12:47 PM

    Beaver Cleavage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. joedustMay 30, 2015 at 12:48 PM

    John Cena.

    What a Cena?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Edward MMay 30, 2015 at 12:48 PM

    We've Cena nuff.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Edward MMay 30, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    Whoops missed the part about it can't be a gimmick. I'll go with Brian Adams then, because anything that reminds me of that God awful musician is a terrible name

    ReplyDelete
  5. TseugThatsGuestSpeltBackwardsMay 30, 2015 at 12:52 PM

    Any of the athlete knock-off names (Kenny Dykstra, Bam Neely).

    ReplyDelete
  6. SlaughteramaMay 30, 2015 at 12:53 PM

    I'll hate the name Dolph Ziggler, forever and ever.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Andrew ChampagneMay 30, 2015 at 12:53 PM

    Gobbeldy Gooker has to be up there, right?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    Sky Low Low

    ReplyDelete
  9. James M. FabianoMay 30, 2015 at 12:56 PM

    1-2-3 Kid was not that great, even teenage me thought so. I know it made sense with the story, but it sounded like a Sesame Street character.

    ReplyDelete
  10. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 12:57 PM

    the miz.
    I've had a couple people ask me what a miz was and they had no idea.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jay ThomasMay 30, 2015 at 12:58 PM

    "Rooster" Griffin. Mid 80s AWA robber.

    ReplyDelete
  12. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 12:58 PM

    Mankind and dude love.

    The rock v mankind sounds like a story from Greek mythology

    ReplyDelete
  13. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    On the other hand, if I were an indie guy, there are two names I'd love to at least try:


    1) Mike Lyant: In honour of Paul Heyman.


    2) Joe Boring: I think Scott was the one that came up with this one. Be blatantly dull, like more do more headlocks and restholds than Randy Orton. When the fans start chanting "boring" (maybe have a plant or some friends get the crowd going on this), you ham it up and act like they're chanting your name.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jay ThomasMay 30, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    Kerwin White was pretty bad too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    I don't know if I'm in the minority or majority here, but I hated the Kassius Ohno name. I get what they were trying for, but it just doesn't work.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Edward MMay 30, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    Just have Randy Orton play the character.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Brian_BaylessMay 30, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    Those were the Brian Gewirtz specials

    ReplyDelete
  18. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:00 PM

    Doesn't he already? OH TAG.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jay ThomasMay 30, 2015 at 1:01 PM

    Booby Heenan used that boring joke talking about Rick McGraw, one of few Heenan misfires for me because McGraw was one of my favorites as a preteen.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Devin HarrisMay 30, 2015 at 1:01 PM

    Bob Roop

    ReplyDelete
  21. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:01 PM

    I think Scott has talked about the awfulness of "Test" as a name, but it says nothing about the guy other than he is an obstacle for others to overcome.

    ReplyDelete
  22. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:01 PM

    Holy shit, why didn't they use the "You failed the Test!" line when someone lost to him?

    ReplyDelete
  23. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 1:01 PM

    I've always hated the name triple h. Get rid of Hearst; hunter Helmsley is not a bad name

    ReplyDelete
  24. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:02 PM

    It doesn't quite roll off the tongue, though, with the Hearst. Say the two names aloud to yourself and you'll see what I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Devin HarrisMay 30, 2015 at 1:03 PM

    Part of me always believed Test wasn't supposed to hang around as long as he did

    ReplyDelete
  26. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 1:03 PM

    Then how about "the game" hunter

    ReplyDelete
  27. Edward MMay 30, 2015 at 1:04 PM

    That sounds like a terrible name for someone with a hunting gimmick.

    ReplyDelete
  28. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    Well now you're just giving me flashbacks to that terrible gimmick they gave...shoot, I'm blanking on both the gimmick's name and the wrestler they gave it to. Former Horsemen, big in WCW, never really did much in WWE.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Mister ThirteenMay 30, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    "Neville"

    Fucking hell. Why they felt the need to drop the Adrian is beyond me.

    ReplyDelete
  30. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    I'd be surprised if they never did, though that again plays up the inevitability of the other guy studying more and beating him.

    ReplyDelete
  31. flamingtoiletMay 30, 2015 at 1:06 PM

    The Stalker?

    ReplyDelete
  32. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 1:06 PM

    Also see cesaro and big e

    ReplyDelete
  33. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:06 PM

    Suddenly I'm picturing Vince with a collection of first names hidden somewhere in his house.

    ReplyDelete
  34. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:06 PM

    Yeah, dude love was all about the context.

    ReplyDelete
  35. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:07 PM

    That's the one! Barry Windham. I'm not totally on the ball today. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Mister ThirteenMay 30, 2015 at 1:07 PM

    "Big E" isn't too bad, and Cesaro at least sounds vaguely cool.

    It might just be a UK think, but "Neville" is a total poindexter type name over here. Like Walter or Tarquin.

    ReplyDelete
  37. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:07 PM

    There's a joke in there somewhere about having sex with a Diva so you're cramming for the Test.

    ReplyDelete
  38. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:08 PM

    I think they're referring specifically to guys with a bad first and last name, not a gimmick specifically.

    ReplyDelete
  39. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:08 PM

    Moreover, it doesn't make him sound badass as much as it does Longbottom.

    ReplyDelete
  40. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:08 PM

    Yakov Smirnoff: In Soviet Russia, test crams you.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:11 PM

    Lash Le Roux
    Mike Quackenbush
    Justin Credible
    Buck Zumhofe

    ReplyDelete
  42. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:12 PM

    Man, strongly disagree to those first three.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Stan FordMay 30, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    Probably for the best, since I reflexively thought of Aaron Neville every time.

    ReplyDelete
  44. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    Justin credible is a great name for a guy who does awesome moves

    ReplyDelete
  45. Stan FordMay 30, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    Zan Panzer is an amazing name.

    ReplyDelete
  46. PIERSMay 30, 2015 at 1:14 PM

    So...not him, then?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Mister ThirteenMay 30, 2015 at 1:14 PM

    There used to be a footballer who played for Partick Thistle whose (real) name was Emmanuel Panther.

    Always thought he should either be a wrestler or a porn star with a name like that.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Mister ThirteenMay 30, 2015 at 1:15 PM

    Leo Kruger would sue for gimmick infringement

    ReplyDelete
  49. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:15 PM

    Yeah, it sounds like it should be the name of a nazi character and he looks a bit like an aryan superchild so it took me a long while to warm to him.

    ReplyDelete
  50. DavidMay 30, 2015 at 1:15 PM

    Pretty much

    ReplyDelete
  51. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:15 PM

    He need a partner named "Stu Pendis"

    ReplyDelete
  52. thatguyJMMMay 30, 2015 at 1:24 PM

    I think the thing with Don Kernodle was his tag team championship run with Sgt. Slaughter--that always looked weird to me reading the title histories in the PWI Almanac every year: that mismatch of one guy with a VERY pro wrestling name with one..not so much

    ReplyDelete
  53. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:24 PM

    Mikey Whipwreck.


    Mike Quackenbush.


    Lash Laroux.


    CM Punk.


    Hoss Funk.

    ReplyDelete
  54. MyronBMay 30, 2015 at 1:25 PM

    Too bad the guy who used it did not do any "awesome moves."

    ReplyDelete
  55. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:26 PM

    Happy to see im not the only one who doesn't like Quack or LaRoux as names.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:26 PM

    Point?

    ReplyDelete
  57. brocoreMay 30, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    Come on, guys. Verne was the KING of bad names. Have we already forgotten Rocky Mountain Thunder?

    ReplyDelete
  58. brocoreMay 30, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    But for developmental, definitely Lucky Cannon.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    I could like with Laroux as a surname if it wasn't alliterative.

    ReplyDelete
  60. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 30, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    We already had that in WWE 13, pass.

    ReplyDelete
  61. ThebrazilianpsychoMay 30, 2015 at 1:28 PM

    Give me a No Mercy style of story.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:30 PM

    Just came across one that I'm not sure is awful or Great...

    Rob Noxious

    ReplyDelete
  63. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:30 PM

    Tommy Dreamer.

    ReplyDelete
  64. VintageMay 30, 2015 at 1:31 PM

    For the one or two people still holding out hope, Rollins confirms that the Curb Stomp is gone forever.

    http://www.insidestl.com/insideSTLcom/STLSports/STLMMAWrestling/tabid/256/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/17811/Seth-Rollins-Humble-About-Past-Looks-Forward-To-Future.aspx

    ReplyDelete
  65. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    I dunno, for someone generally on the losing side but always striving for greatness, i think it works.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 30, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    Winner. Or loser, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  67. steve magesMay 30, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    Eli Cottonwood. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    I always hated the Mankind name and persona.


    On the other hand I liked everything about Dude Love.

    ReplyDelete
  69. VintageMay 30, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    Kizarny. Just so much bad.

    ReplyDelete
  70. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    He said never say never.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 30, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    Does he even count? I don't think he ever actually wrestled.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:34 PM

    I don't care for last names that are words.


    If that's true of your real name, then so be it, but not by choice.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 30, 2015 at 1:34 PM

    Hak was pretty terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  74. VintageMay 30, 2015 at 1:35 PM

    He had only the one debut match on Smackdown and he was so bad, he never came back.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 30, 2015 at 1:36 PM

    If I were a wrestler I'd call myself Tommy Molson. A reference to one of my favorite bands and my favorite beer.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Thaddeus MountainMay 30, 2015 at 1:36 PM

    Once you go Test, FORGET ABOUT THE REST

    ReplyDelete
  77. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 30, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    I didn't even think he got that far, I thought he just did one segment and it bombed so hard he never even got a match.


    The whole thing was a really stupid idea.

    ReplyDelete
  78. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    He's workin ya, brother.

    ReplyDelete
  79. NightMay 30, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    Nerd.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    I like that one. Sounds hillbilly-ish.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Thaddeus MountainMay 30, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    I'm seriously hoping for a Nick Offerman cameo wherein he provides some pithy advice to Pratt.

    ReplyDelete
  82. NightMay 30, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    Billy and the cloneasaurus?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Thaddeus MountainMay 30, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, BITCHES!

    ReplyDelete
  84. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    There is zero chance you never see another curb stomp again.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 30, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    Mr. J.L. was pretty bad too.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    JTG

    ReplyDelete
  87. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:39 PM

    I have never heard of the name Tarquin.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Thaddeus MountainMay 30, 2015 at 1:40 PM

    I need a Hawks win and I need it bad.

    ReplyDelete
  89. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 1:41 PM

    You want to bet on that or seeing an Orton punt first?

    ReplyDelete
  90. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 1:41 PM

    http://i.imgur.com/8DLOR8V.gifv



    Slow motion lightning from a few feet away.

    ReplyDelete
  91. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 1:42 PM

    Didn't Orton do a punt within the last year?

    ReplyDelete
  92. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:42 PM

    In some ways, absolutely.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    Actually there's lots from ECW.


    Ballz Mahoney? What?

    ReplyDelete
  94. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    He's teased it in big matches over the last three years... but it doesn't connect.

    ReplyDelete
  95. VintageMay 30, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    I still think of Aaron Neville every time, so losing the first name didn't help at all.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:44 PM

    That sounds like a cheap knockoff of another man's wildly successful idea.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:45 PM

    Holy fuck, there's a car seat that will need cleaning.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Thaddeus MountainMay 30, 2015 at 1:46 PM

    Holy shit!

    ReplyDelete
  99. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    He did it against the Big Show, after it had been banned.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:48 PM

    Im comin across some names - Here are some that are fantastic...


    Wolf Hawkfield

    Vance Vain
    Dino Bambino

    ReplyDelete
  101. Philippe TcaMay 30, 2015 at 1:48 PM

    I have hated the Justin Credible name with an unhealthy passion since I first heard it/saw him.


    It literally sounds like the name of a protagonist in children's cartoon. Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable. And the thing about Kim Possible is that I actually DO like their names. They fit perfectly into a cartoon world aired on Nickelodeon or Disney or whatever.


    Justin Credible would be suited there. Or if he was trying to be a Cena level of pandering to kids wrestler it would work. But as a mediocre worker who was trying to pretend he had hard core credentials? Just awful.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:48 PM

    Lash isn't a real name.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:49 PM

    Michael McGillicutty

    ReplyDelete
  104. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:51 PM

    Kip James

    ReplyDelete
  105. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:52 PM

    I almost Balls

    ReplyDelete
  106. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:52 PM

    It's a very stupid name. I pretty much stopped watching WCW altogether once they had guys with names like Lash Leroux and Kwee Wee.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    Joey Abs


    Sorry that name rules.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Clark O'BrienMay 30, 2015 at 1:54 PM

    There's a ton from the early days of NXT, Lucky Canon stands out though.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 1:55 PM

    Who the hell names their kid Kip?

    ReplyDelete
  110. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 1:56 PM

    I prefer the guy cooking the sausages.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Brendan McDonaldMay 30, 2015 at 1:58 PM

    I always figured it was some dumb Boogie Nights ripoff.


    "That guy looks kind of like a gigolo. Name him something like Dirk Diggler, but different."


    "How's Dolph Ziggler?"


    "Sold."

    ReplyDelete
  112. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 1:59 PM

    Val Venis

    ReplyDelete
  113. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooMay 30, 2015 at 1:59 PM

    Dolph Ziggler, Dolph Ziggler, Dolph Ziggler, DOLPH FUCKING ZIGGLER.

    It doesn't sound real, it's not a reference to any tangible thing or idea, it's not a clever pun or alliterative nor does it translate into anything cool or mysterious (like Skandor Akbar, which may be the coolest wrestling name ever, translating to "Alexander the Great"). It's just a dumb-sounding meaningless moniker they slapped on the guy for no discernible reason.


    God, I hate that name. Just irrationally, passionately hate it.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:00 PM

    Val and Mahoney should have formed a Tag Team.


    Venis and Balls.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:00 PM

    It is a very stupid name.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    Terry Taylor and Mahoney.


    Cock and Ballz.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Brendan McDonaldMay 30, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    Finn Balor and Hideo Itami are pretty bad names, especially when you could have named them anything.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:02 PM

    Eric Vantabulous

    ReplyDelete
  119. Robinson TilapiaMay 30, 2015 at 2:02 PM

    Sorry. Finn Balor is incredibly badass.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:02 PM

    Hideo Itami just sounds like any old Japanese name. It's fine.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Brendan McDonaldMay 30, 2015 at 2:03 PM

    Does it mean something that I'm not getting? Because it's not even clear how to pronounce it if you're just looking at it. It could be BAY-lor.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:03 PM

    Marcus Cor Von

    ReplyDelete
  123. Joey Jo-Jo Junior ShabbadooMay 30, 2015 at 2:03 PM

    I thought I'd eventually get used to it, but I honestly hate it more every time I hear it.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    It is a dumb name, but I think they're just going for something Gaelic sounding. He's Irish isn't he?

    ReplyDelete
  125. Robinson TilapiaMay 30, 2015 at 2:04 PM

    Didn't Heyman want to turn Al Snow into "Psycho" Sam Attic at one point? That would have taken the cake.

    Kwee-wee was awful for various reasons. I always thought "Kiwi" was supposed to be a play off of Chris Kattan's "Mango" SNL character at the time, but they then had to make it sound like "queer" for reasons.

    ReplyDelete
  126. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    He's named after two figures in Irish lore/mythology. Finn mac Cumhaill, a hunter/warrior, and Balor, a sort of demon-king.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    Togo and mahoney


    Dick and Balls.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Brendan McDonaldMay 30, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    If there's any guy that screams for them to shorten it to just one name, it's this guy. Hideo, while not the greatest, is still fine and you can chant it.

    ReplyDelete
  129. John PetrieMay 30, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    Always reminds me of Dirk Diggler.

    ReplyDelete
  130. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    On the contrary: the second paragraph demonstrates why your hatred is completely rational.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:05 PM

    Or slater and mahoney.

    ReplyDelete
  132. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    I can remember JR using something like, "We'll find out if RVD can pass... the Test!"

    ReplyDelete
  133. Brendan McDonaldMay 30, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    Well, that's points for trying. I'm still not sold on it as a professional wrestler name, but that's a cool backstory.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Robinson TilapiaMay 30, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    I think he also said Finn is his father or uncle's name. It's not a WWE Name Generator thing.

    ReplyDelete
  135. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:06 PM

    See, cuz he was the guy who tested the mics for Motley Crue.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    Bulldog's kid and Mahoney.


    Harry Balls.

    ReplyDelete
  137. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    Totally agree. Unless it's an actual last name. It just reeks of '90s e-wrestling. I could go without ever seeing any wrestler named "Storm" again.

    ReplyDelete
  138. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    Palmer Cannon was equally as bad because I always wanted to call him Carson Palmer.

    ReplyDelete
  139. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:08 PM

    The Padres have a relief pitcher named Kevin Quackenbush. I remember doing like a triple-take the first time I saw him in a game. I was stunned that that was an actual, real name.

    ReplyDelete
  140. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:08 PM

    Dan Severn= Biggest miss of the attitude era?

    ReplyDelete
  141. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:09 PM

    Schwartz is horrible on MULTIPLE levels. With all due respect to Sandy Koufax, Ryan Braun, Hank Greenberg, and others--"Abe Schwartz" is possibly the least-basebally name in history.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:10 PM

    Scorpio and Mahoney


    2 Cold Balls

    ReplyDelete
  143. Jay ThomasMay 30, 2015 at 2:10 PM

    Winger's parents.

    ReplyDelete
  144. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 2:11 PM

    He was just a mid card guy. Aim small, miss small mothafucka.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Kyle WarneMay 30, 2015 at 2:11 PM

    That's clearly the intent

    ReplyDelete
  146. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    I think that they wanted him to be more than that though.

    ReplyDelete
  147. MikeyMikeMay 30, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    Knux is pretty stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Ed ZeppelinMay 30, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    SUICIDE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  149. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    What's the best real name that ISN'T used as a wrestling name? It wouldn't have fit the Rock 'n Roll Express gimmick, but "Reuben Kane" is a fucking killer wrestling name.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    Chilly McFreeze.

    ReplyDelete
  151. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:13 PM

    Beyonce does nothing for me. Talent wise or physically... I cannot be the only one.

    ReplyDelete
  152. joedustMay 30, 2015 at 2:13 PM

    Shamrock/Severn should have been the semi-main on a ppv at some point. Instead Severn got his "neck broken" in September and was dumped out of the Royal Rumble with no fanfare in January.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:13 PM

    Me as well.

    ReplyDelete
  154. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:13 PM

    Rick Blood.

    ReplyDelete
  155. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:14 PM

    Jonathan Good.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:14 PM

    Dolph Ziggler is a terrible name given to a good wrestler.


    Jack Swagger is a kind of awesome name given to a boring wrestler.

    ReplyDelete
  157. joedustMay 30, 2015 at 2:14 PM

    Best episode of Parks and Rec?


    I'm thinking The Debate, but really that whole run of LEslie's campaign from when Paul Rudd showed up to the end of that season was fucking fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  158. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:14 PM

    That's what I mean, did they mean for him to be a big deal? He was gone a month after I started watching so I wasn't sure if he was a big deal or not.

    ReplyDelete
  159. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    That was actually used--oddly enough not by Steamboat, but by Tito Santana.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    Love Jack Swagger as a name.

    ReplyDelete
  161. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    The Unity Concert was pretty amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Philippe TcaMay 30, 2015 at 2:16 PM

    Ron Killings is pretty good. I like it more than R-Truth.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Jackson SmithMay 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    Meltzer repeatedly saying fuck on Cornette's podcast out of frustration with Dixie trying to rally her troops against him, hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  164. PeteF3May 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    I may be crazy, but I think "Thaddeus Bullard" is a pretty awesome name.

    ReplyDelete
  165. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    If you switch the names on the guys... Jack becomes a perma-main eventer with Dolph lasting under a year.

    ReplyDelete
  166. HartKiller_09May 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    Amanda Bines played a girl pretending to be a boy to play soccer. Jonathan Brandis played a boy pretending to be a girl to play soccer. She's insane and he's dead. That can't be a coincidence.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    Ron Killings is a fine name. R-Truth is just a letter and a word.

    ReplyDelete
  168. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    Underrated entrance music: that track from Snatch that Nigel McGuinness used.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Michael KehmMay 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM

    And the sad thing is, that his real name is a much better wrestling name.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    That's kind of perfect actually. Swagger actually looks like more of a "Dolph Ziggler" anyway. If the guy we know as Dolph right now was called "The Show-Off" Jack Swagger, that would make way more sense.

    ReplyDelete
  171. TheDDGMay 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    That one would depend on who's carrying it. The right personality would make that awesome. Billy Gunn would make it unbearably awful.

    ReplyDelete
  172. HartKiller_09May 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    Couldn't any of the punches they throw in a match theoretically cause a concussion too?

    ReplyDelete
  173. Kyle WarneMay 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    I just watched a youtube video called "Kizarny 5th promo" and OH MY GOD.

    Just awful. I wasn't watching when this nightmare occurred.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Jackson SmithMay 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    SO many viewings of Ladybugs on the various HBOs when I was a kid, lol...I know it's not seen as a Rodney Dangerfield classic or anything, but I can still probably recite that one front to back.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Mister_E_MahnMay 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    John Cena's dad was only ever known as Mr. Cena, right? To the point that I think he was announced as such by Lillian?


    That's dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  176. cultstatusMay 30, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    I'm sure they would have liked to, but it ain't like they were putting all their eggs in one basket.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Kyle WarneMay 30, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    Nick Nemeth isn't can't miss great but it's certainly usable.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    If there was any kind of tag team division in 2012 timeframe, I feel like the Ziggler/Swagger team (with Vickie) would have been great. Those dudes as "The Show-Offs", as an Edge/Christian or Midnight Express type dominant heel team would have been awesome. But there were no other tag teams, so it was forgettable

    ReplyDelete
  179. HartKiller_09May 30, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    Oh same. It was on the movie channel when I was a kid, my sister and I watched to repeatedly. I found "I dressed her son up like a girl and made him play with me" funnier as an adult.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Michael KehmMay 30, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    Freddy Joe Floyd
    TL Hopper
    Bastian Booger

    ReplyDelete
  181. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    Picked up watching Summerslam 98 where I passed out last night:


    Mankind vs Outlaws was the beginning of Mankind's heel turn right? They have the Outlaws acting WAY heelish here.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    Bastion Booger. What the everloving fuck?

    ReplyDelete
  183. Daniel SwinneyMay 30, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    Hey! Someone on the blog the other day asked me who Brad Anderson was, and there's one answer: Zan Panzer.

    ReplyDelete
  184. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    We call that the "Saturday Morning Slam" no punch rule.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Kyle WarneMay 30, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    My friend works with a former security guard whose ACTUAL NAME is "Constant Blessings"

    I can't decide if it's an awful ring name or this guy needs to go to wrestling school. It's so dumb it has to work

    ReplyDelete
  186. HartKiller_09May 30, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    Options for the evening - beers with my sisters finance and watch the hockey game, which I asked him to do last week and don't really feel like doing now. Or sit home and buy new gym shoes online.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    Virgil should have shed his "servant" name when he broke away from Dibiase. Go by "Mike Jones" or "Virgil Jones" or something to distinguish him as his own man after breaking away from his old boss

    ReplyDelete
  188. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    I find it honestly more terrifying that the kid that killed Pennywise in it, committed suicide as a young adult.


    That's like the opening act of another hypothetical Stephen King book.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Daniel SwinneyMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    She does as much for me in both regards as most female R&B singers of the last 25 or so years.

    ReplyDelete
  190. Jackson SmithMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Haha, I was gonna mention that bar scene and how there's stuff throughout that movie I didn't get until way later.

    ReplyDelete
  191. AnonymousMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Drink beers and shop online while awkwardly ignoring the sister's fiancee while the game plays in the background.

    ReplyDelete
  192. Philippe TcaMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    I'm with you there. Something about a "geeky" sounding name being held by someone very intimidating works.


    Wilson Fisk from DareDevil on Netflix comes to mind.

    ReplyDelete
  193. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Eh, Vince wasn't done mocking Dusty yet.

    ReplyDelete
  194. ProjectBlueMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    All the autographs he signs? That'd just be leaving money on the table taking time for all those extra letters

    ReplyDelete
  195. Daniel SwinneyMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Windham Rotundo

    ReplyDelete
  196. Kyle WarneMay 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Justin Credible sounds like the name of a spot monkey cruiser.

    ReplyDelete
  197. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:23 PM

    Akeem the African Dream. Why couldn't he just be fucking One Man Gang still?

    ReplyDelete
  198. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogMay 30, 2015 at 2:23 PM

    Saba Simba.

    ReplyDelete
  199. PATRICKisLEGENDMay 30, 2015 at 2:23 PM

    I went to school with a Winter Bare. Her ass was amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  200. Thaddeus MountainMay 30, 2015 at 2:23 PM

    Tracy Jordan just stuck it to the Black Crusaders.

    ReplyDelete

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